a fool's musings

Boreas by Waterhouse
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content

achromatic

unfinished fic graveyard

recs journal

new stuff

recent stuff

my back pages
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001


the five Ws, or, all about me

profile

e-mail victoria

my livejournal

the original P&R

comments

current mood: current mood

"pathological and unbalanced"

Items of Interest

    Music
  • Walk On - U2
  • Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
  • If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar
  • Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
  • Town Called Malice - The Jam
  • One - U2
  • The Space Between - DMB
    Books
  • Lord of the Rings
  • Catch-22
  • The Neely Trilogy
  • Absalom! Absalom!
  • Possession: A Romance
  • Foucault's Pendulum
  • Dreamhouse
  • LA Confidential
  • I Capture the Castle
  • Sandman
  • Waking the Moon

    Shows
  • Angel

    •
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns)

    •
  • Alias

    •
  • West Wing

    •
  • The Simpsons

    •

webrings
< ? fanfiction ! >
< ? writers ! >

diaryreviews.diaryland.com

NYC Bloggers

Comments by Haloscan.com

all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

2002-01-30 - 3:38 p.m.

There is no should

First off, Laura Hale provided an interesting link to The History of Fanfic which, to my shame, I've known about but hadn't read before this morning.

If you're interested in that, go read.

So, the slash thingy I wrote yesterday spawned some interesting discussion with my betas..

Pete and Jen and I started discussing this whole business of fanfic being "transgressive" and well, none of us quite buy into it, though I think I'm more willing to go with the flow than they are on it. I can understand the appeal of thinking that way, though it's not my primary motivation in writing fic.

Not that I'm into the po-mo lit crit bullshit, because I'm not. It's one of the things that made me leery in the days when I was planning on going for that MA in lit [well, that and the foreign language reqs ::shudder::], and I'm still distrustful of "theory" in regard to writing.

My feeling is, writing is about telling stories. Anything - style, description, weird punctuation, gimmickry, and yes, political agenda - that gets in the way of telling the story should be cut out.

I think this is one reason I have such a strong hate on for An American Tragedy. Dreiser is so busy pushing his agenda that he drowns the story in it.

So yeah, if you feel that your writing can help raise awareness or help change the world, or subvert whatever patriarchal/oppressive/fascist regime you feel is holding you down, go for it.

But does art on the whole *need* to be political?

Not in my opinion.

It needs to live in the world, yes. And relate to the world, yes, if only through expressing the inexpressible or the ineffable without which, the world is nothing but a huge anthill and we're all just drones.

Using your work to promote a specific political agenda is, you know, up to you and you can do it, but it's probably just going to make me [as a reader] annoyed when I realize what you're doing, unless you're pretty damn subtle about it.

Yes, writing/reading should change one's view of the world. How can it *not*, if it's any good? It takes us to different times, different places, and lets us see the world through other people's eyes.

How does all this relate to fanfic, in particular, since that's where I got started on this particular naive little rant?

Because fanfic should be written for the author's enjoyment first, and not to be "transgressive" or to subvert the original text by making the subtext text or whatever else you have in mind.

The aims need to serve the story, not the other way around.

The first goal of any writer should be to move the audience, and the vehicle to do that is clear communication.

In my opinion anyway.

Of course, there are some who would argue over my use of the word "should" [at least, there's one person who would, if he were reading this, and he'd possibly be right, which, if we were still friends, I'd never tell him], but I'm feeling dictatorial right now.

Here endeth the lesson. *g*

I am so PMSing. I don't feel so good.

~victoria
[current mood: oogie, yet dictatorial *g*]
[current music: In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel]

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-30 - 1:26 p.m.

World *TRADE* Organization

WTO not WHO.

I'm so stupid sometimes.

I've got a mind like a steel sieve. Sharp and leaky.

~victoria
who is actually listening to the great Pete Townshend right now - "Let My Love Open the Door" which is my favorite of his solo songs.

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-30 - 11:24 a.m.

renovations

Gonna be fiddling with colors and fonts for a bit, so if things look funky, that's why.

If you happen to catch something different that you like, let me know.

~*~

11:51 am

Now that I've artificially inflated my stats and blinded myself with various heinous color combos, I realize what I knew before - I shouldn't do this without dreamweaver. I nub dreamweaver. That lovely code view/design view split window, so you can see your changes as soon as you make 'em... sigh.

I think I might try one other thing, and then this little design foray is over. I'm not a designer, nor do I play one on tv. My sense of aesthetics is strong, but I've never been good at visual media.

~*~

12:44 pm

Trying this gold bar down the left. Dunno if I like it or not. Hmm... As always, feel free to let me know what you think

~victoria



[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-30 - 10:40 a.m.

My aim is true

I'm *so* coveting the "Who's Your Daddy?" Lionel icon Livia made.

I'm also contemplating joining imood to get nifty emoticons.

I'm such a sad, jealous bitca.

More on last night's Buffy - I get the irony of the ending, but dammit, Xander should have made the appropriate "Soylent Green" reference. Or at least the Homer Simpson referring to "Soylent Green" reference. I'm very disappointed that Espenson reduced Xander to Homeric proportions ["You ate the burger?"] and didn't give him the lines to go with it.

Bah.

So the World Economic Forum is here, starting today.

Do you know what this means?

I had to show my ID on the way out of the subway. At the turnstile.

When I came in, it looked like you could walk down the stairs at 54th Street, and get in without ID that way, but Mike said they were checking up there, too, when he got in.

How's this for comforting? From the security memo on the intranet:

"Carry identification with you at all times. When outside the building, it is recommended that you do not display your company identification card or other insignia identifying you as a {snip} employee. However, to enter certain restricted areas, be prepared to present your identification at police checkpoints."

Now, I realize that working for Big Evol MegaCorp makes me a target [or something] but jeez... I'm one of the oppressed workers! I'm a lowly peon!

The protesters should be *nice* to me!

I'm hoping that this is all a lot of bark and no bite, but I remember a couple of years ago, with that big UN summit over Labor Day [and *who* thought *that* was a good idea? I mean, dignitaries from all over the world *and* the US Open in the same week? Shyeah, smart planning there, dumbasses.], and the streets were all blocked off etc. There were protests, but they were all east of us by a block or two. Actually, since I was working on Third then, there was only a block or two left before you hit the FDR.

And I've seen other protesters marching in the area, usually south of here, by the UN, but I hope this is nothing like those WHO protests in Seattle.

That was the WHO, right?

And not with Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey, either. *g*

So, I'm hoping to get Time's Fool done sometime soon. I'm getting tired of looking at it.

I hate when that happens.

But I have to totally rewrite the ending, since Logan is now clueful instead of completely clueless, and he's not going to be as big a bastard as I originally wrote him.

I'm sure Pete finds that comforting. *snicker*

By my very lonesome I've given Pete a whole raft of Logan Issues. Which is sad, considering I think Logan was one of his favorites from the comics. Heh.

(Speaking of Pete - this week he's featured on In Their Own Words. You should check it out. He talks about his favorites of his own stories.)

Anyhow, I wrote the ending long before the beginning, back last May after watching Harm and Mac (JAG, for those of you who don't know) have their big angsty scene at her engagement party to the walking stereotype [and could he have *been* any more annoying. ::shudder:: So glad he's gone. THough I'm sad Gunny left. He's hot.).

So yeah, anyhow, Logan got grafted onto Harm and Rogue onto Mac, but Logan's not going to be as asinine as Harm was there.

But I like the scene as written, so I'm going to have to save it and use it for somewhere where Logan *is* that clueless and bastardish.

By the way I write him, you'd never guess that I love Logan.

I have a very large, very unhealthy soft spot for arrogant, obnoxious bastards. And those of you who may know me in real life [if there's any of you reading this, which is doubtful] know my history there, so I won't go into it here.

Let's just say that swaggering arrogance is quite the turn on, and even more so with a long black coat and a guitar. *g*

But enough personal stuff.

Going to have to rewrite the ending, and not loving that, but I think I can still do it.

And Logan will have been celibate at that point for like 9 months (since the overheard conversation), so he *needs* to get Rogue to the sex apartment and he's going to have to be really sweet about it.

I have to think on it. I've got the mush vibe going after Nightswimming, so I should be able to swing it. I hope.

And I was listening to Thunder Road this morning on the commute [and don't *even* get me started on the half hour we spent sitting at 50th Street because of a train in emergency at Court Square], and thinking I need to get back to that story, though it's not Thunder Road anymore, it's more Secret Garden.

And yes, Rogue is a bit of an Ice Queen there, but even Ice Queens deserve to be melted by the right handsome rake, right?

Now I'm rambling, so I'll stop.

Oh, and does the smaller font work?

~victoria
[current mood: alert]
[current music: Alison - Elvis Costello]

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-29 - 10:15 p.m.

"When I'm on my deathbed, dying..."

Tonight's Buffy can be summed up in the following sentence:

There's an hour of my life I'm never going to get back again. An hour that I'll wish I had spent productively one day, when I don't have any more hours left.

Christ on a crutch. What crap! Bad writing. Bad directing, mediocre acting.

The only good things were Buffy's and Willow's hair.

Smallville was better, but me, I'm glad both Amy and Victoria disappeared for the last act. Creepy girl and no talent girl just don't belong on the screen when we could have more Chloe! more Whitney [he's growing on me, in a Cordelia-esque kind of way], more Lionel and more Martha! Hell, I'll take more Pete.

Or an hour of Lex talking about his mom and then sniping with Lionel or clutching at Clark.

Very Out of Mind, Out of Sight-like episode, and I'll admit I wavered between it being Amy or Beth (okay, editing this later 'cause this is too funny a slip to take out - Little Women on the brain much? *g* That's supposed to be Jeff), but really, not quite up there with Jitters or Hourglass or even Rogue.

Ah, me.

~victoria

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-29 - 2:15 p.m.

you're making me uncomfortable!

Woohoo!

The grades junkie within has been sated!

I got a 97/100 at diary review.

I'm taking the design suggestions under advisement, since I'd been toying with both ideas early on and just got caught up in other things.

Tonight, after BtVS, I guess I'll be fiddling with dreamweaver to see what combinations look best. *g*

Just got back from lunch. Originally, it was supposed to be a big group lunch to take out this guy visiting from our Baltimore office.

But one by one, people dropped out, leaving just me, the guy (who I'd only met this morning) and the other assistant, the one with whom I've become friendly.

So fine, you know, she's a big old extrovert and can cover any awkward gaps in the coversation. So we go to Luna Piena and sit outside, 'cause it's freaking 68 degrees in January and it's *wonderful*, and he starts talking about how he and his wife have agreed to get a divorce.

Then *she* starts talking about how she's thinking of getting a divorce and how marriage isn't for her, etc.

Then *I* start to squirm, because, jesus, god in heaven, I do *not* want to hear this conversation.

I finally booked out early, because man, as open as I can be with my family and close friends, I do *not* like to be around strangers or acquaintances as they discuss such personal stuff.

Oy.

And the idea that they'd be comfortable enough to discuss it in front of *me* just boggles the mind.

So yeah, let's all just repress a little, folks. At least when you're at lunch with me.

~victoria
[current mood: uncomfortable]
[current music: Benny and the Jets - Elton John]

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-01-29 - 9:20 a.m.

"I meant to do that"

Gah.

Sorry about that entry last night. I was in a pissy mood for some reason. Maybe the bloodletting wasn't quick enough on ClarkLex for my taste, but so, so sorry about being whiny.

I kinda want to delete that entry, but that'd feel dishonest, and I'm trying really hard not to put the best spin on things all the time, which is instinctive for me, to spin even my mistakes into plans of brilliant wonder.

You know, the old, "I meant to do that" defense. *g*

Eh.

Me. PeeWee Herman. About the same maturity level sometimes.

So, thanks to Annie, I now have a solid rationale for people who say, 'no direct links.' Over in the guestbook, she mentions that linking to the front page of a site prevents 404 File Not Found errors if a webmaster fiddles with file names or directories.

And I can understand that.

Also in the guestbook, Lorelei brings up something I mentioned in passing: the idea that slash is more interesting or more difficult, or appealing or whatever than hetfic, and that slashers are on the top of the fic heap.

Now, I have lots of thoughts, as usual, but I've not really formulated a cohesive theory, so you'll just have to take the ride with me. Or not. You can always opt out.

What I'm thinking is, that the first fanfic - or the first stuff that was actually called fanfic [as opposed to "Wide Sargasso Sea" or "Ulysses", which are reworkings of classic stories or additions to them, etc.] was, according to fanfic lore, Kirk/Spock.

::vic takes a moment to contemplate that and shudders uncontrollably::

Ahem. Sorry. Not liking the Kirk.

K/S was first, and it was slash, and I'm guessing it was pretty damn popular, since we're still seeing it written today. Or, I'm guessing people in Trek are still seeing it written. Not one of my fandoms.

So there's this idea that fanfic is transgressive, that it takes the text and subverts it, making subtext into text.

Back in the '60s and '70s, there were no openly gay people on television, except for Billy Crystal in Soap, and at least one straight man masquerading as gay (Jack Tripper). At least, not that I recall. There were all sorts of people who were *coded* as gay (i.e., men who loved musicals and spoke with lisps, or women who looked like the girls' gym teacher in Porky's), but no out and proud gay people.

Geez, even in this day and age, Bayliss couldn't quite manage to come out even as bisexual. He was "bicurious". And how long did it take for Willow and Tara to kiss on BtVS?

So yes, transgressive/subversive element to slash, which is one reason that I personally think that the whole non-canonical aspect to the relationship is important.

There's nothing to subvert in the W/T relationship. They're openly gay, they're a couple.

While I think it's great that we can finally have that on television without tittering and much sturm und drang about morals (and I'd be more impressed with Joss's daring if they were two normal looking guys instead of two beautiful starlets), for which we have to thank Ellen, I guess *g*, there's nothing transgressive or subversive to me about writing W/T fic.

Of course, since I write mostly het fic, I don't tend to buy into the idea of fanfic as transgressive.

It can be, and that's great if you want to spin it that way, but it's doesn't necessarily have to be. There are some who would argue that only the transgressive type of fic is any good, but these would probably be the same types who evince hetsquick, and well, that's just a baffling and misogynistic sidelight of slash that I don't like and don't think makes for good writing.

I mean, do you really hate yourself so much that women have to be demonized in what you write? That every female character becomes an obstacle to your One True Pairing's happiness?

And I'm off track.

Anyhow, my inchoate theory is that since slash was the first fanfic [or is remembered as the first, anyway], it already had a leg up over het fic. As someone who's been ficcing since I could remember (though I didn't write it down until recently, I was trying to "fix" my favorite books/movies/shows as far back as I can recall, most notably with Jo and Laurie in Little Women [so a shipper even then *g*]), but didn't know that's what it was until I got online, I think it's a phenomenon that's been going on since way before "Star Trek" but that's not the point.

The point is, that the first het fic was probably poorly written PWP [let's face it, female characters in genre media as a whole are still not as layered and complex as the men, and still too often fall into stereotypes] or Mary Sue type stuff.

Slash, because you usually have the advantage of having two well-developed characters who already have a strong bond between them in canon, is in some ways *easier*. You don't have to develop Kirk and Spock much. You've got them in all their multi-faceted glory on the show.

Uhura or even Dr. Crusher form TNG, not so much. They're not on an equal footing with the men.

So I think in some ways I'm arguing that hetfic *can* be just as transgressive as slash, which wasn't what I was planning when I started this 20 minutes ago. Huh.

Why women make up the large majority of m/m slash writers is something I've not quite figured out, except for my own motivations there, which has only a little to do with playing with expectations of character [to cries of, "Logan would *never* suck Scott's cock!" or "Angel hates Xander and would never sleep with him!" My response is, "Wanna bet?"], and much more to do with the fact that two hot guys together turns my crank.

Anyhow, if you've stuck with me this long, you can see that I've just got a mish mash of thoughts that need to be pondered a little longer, but I'd love to hear what other people think about why slash is considered superior to het, especially from the hardcore slashers who would never venture so much as a little toe into het waters...

~victoria
[current mood: contrite]
[current music: Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith]

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

previous - next

DiaryLand

Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within.

The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.

The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.

This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables