a fool's musings

Boreas by Waterhouse
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

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"pathological and unbalanced"

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    Music
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2002-02-03 - 8:40 p.m.

second half

In her LiveJournal, Thamiris asked people to pick their favorite paragraphs from their own work and why.

My two snips (yeah, I couldn't choose, surprise, surprise!):

She smelled of fine, French-milled soap and lemony shampoo. It clung to her letters and the little gifts she sent him -- it had been that, and not any lack of computer-knowledge, that made him resist getting an email address. Email was too ephemeral; it didn't appeal to the senses -- there was no sound of rustling paper, no feel of ripping open the envelope, no scent clinging to an email, calling him home while her words drove him away. She had been happy with Bobby, and her happiness meant more to him than his own, so he'd stayed away.

From A Harbor in the Tempest, my X-Men movieverse version of Casablanca.

I like this because it strikes me as evocative. Logan is a man with enhanced senses; he trusts what he can see, feel, touch, taste and smell. He's also from another time, even if he doesn't remember it, where letter writing was the main form of personal communication. So it makes sense that he'd prefer letters, with their physicality and echoes of his Edwardian past, to email or even the telephone.

And this:

She contemplates the feel of leather on her body. She touches herself with bare hands usually, but sometimes she likes to pretend her hands are his, and she knows he would wear leather gloves to touch her. She rarely lets herself think of a day when he could touch her without gloves. She's too pragmatic now to indulge in such unattainable fantasies. And on her bad days, she silently thanks Erik for that. Her life is painful enough without setting herself up for even more disappointment.

She would think it's impossible that he wants to touch her at all -- gloves or no -- except that she's seen into his thoughts, and his thoughts about her include things that make her heart race and her breath ragged. It's possible he doesn't even know he has those thoughts; it's possible he has those thoughts about every woman he meets. She prefers to believe the former; the latter brings with it too much pain.

From The Space Between.

(I didn't put the second para in the comments, but I thought it was kind of necessary to understanding Rogue).

I like this because it says a lot about Rogue. She's not just dreaming pointlessly. She knows Logan, has him in her head, and so she knows how he'd touch her, and that he wants to. And the second paragraph - I like that second-to-last sentence - it strikes me as an apt description of many men. *g*

Sorry. Got interrupted by U2 at the half-time show, and then Terry Bradshaw singing with Sir Paul McCartney.

I keep hoping I'll have Clever Plan done and ready to share here, but appparently I'm stuck on writing smut.

It's weird. I used to have a very easy time writing smut. But now, I feel like I can't write any new sex - it all sounds the same to me. I'd like to skim over it, but I don't think you can have a smutfic without the smut, so...

I do have the big emotional finale almost written - 'cause it wouldn't be me without a big emotional finale, but damn, I'm stuck on the smut.

And I've got to figure out what's next for Time's Fool and Consumption.

Sigh.

Go Pats!

~victoria

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2002-02-03 - 1:34 p.m.

Kickboxing, sport of the future!

Watching hour 19 of the 24 hour Super Bowl pregrame show.

Oy.

So this week's EW talks about the top 25 romantic movies of the past 25 years.

Number 1?

Say Anything...

How much do I love this movie?

"I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

You can't trust anyone who doesn't love this movie. A person who doesn't love Say Anything... has no soul.

I mean, "If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise."

This is my life's philosophy!

There are just so many great things in this movie...

Lloyd: "I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"

Other guy: "By choice, man!"

and

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

I love Lloyd Dobler.

I want a man who is a combination of Lloyd Dobler and Michael Steadman.

Sigh.

And, of course, the ultimate in good advice: "The world is full of guys. Don't be a guy. Be a man. "

There's something about the teen movies of the 80s... there's the John Hughes oeuvre: Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful, and, with the exception of Pretty in Pink, I love these movies. Pretty in Pink sold out at the end. Stupid girl should have gone with Ducky.

But, on the other hand, James Spader...

Ahem, sorry.

So, yeah, John Hughes movies, which bring the mush and shed a lot of light on the cliques and claques of high school life in America.

And I love 'em, don't get me wrong.

But John Cusack movies [and you've got to love the symmetry - he was in Sixteen Candles as one of the geeks]... The Sure Thing, Say Anything... and Grosse Pointe Blank - that's the trilogy of my generation. *g*

It's coming out on DVD soon, too.

Color me happy.

~victoria



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2002-02-02 - 10:23 p.m.

My new best friend

Been away all day.

Didja miss me? *g*

Another day spent at the new house. I actually did a wee bit of work, putting up the verticals in the living room.

And, more importantly, convincing my mother that a nice "silvery white" would be better than plain old white in the bathroom, since one wall is already nicely sponge-painted gray. Well, right now, the rest of the bathroom walls are gray, and so's the vanity [though the fixtures are this heinous pinkish red color that my mother is itching to change]. So I start pointing out appropriate colors and she keeps saying, "No." I point one out and she says, "That's gray, not silvery white."

I'm like, "Silvery white *is* gray! It's just semantics!"

So she picked out a color called Almost Winter, which is so white it's hardly gray, but it's more gray than white, nonetheless...

My doorbell is ringing.

it's 10:15 on a Saturday night. Who the hell...

back.

Can I just say, I love Jean. I'd say he's my new best friend, but as he's been one of my best friends for the last 11 years, that'd be redundant.

He just dropped off my present - a copy of the Buffy S1 DVDs.

I don't know who he got them from or why, but he told me he had them before they came out, and he's delivered on the goods.

In his brand spanking new super black Maxima.

Sigh.

And just for the record. Bare feet on concrete in 30 degree cold -- bad idea.

brr...

So anyway, that was my day, mostly.

Played with Victor and Nicole and Tricia Rose. She's cutting a tooth. She's so adorable, I could just eat her up with a spoon.

And Nicki starts nursery school on Monday, which should be a trip.

God, it makes me wanna have kidlets.

Sigh.

~victoria
[current mood: excited]
[current music: Given to Fly - Pearl Jam].



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2002-02-02 - 1:20 a.m.

yet more tests

Damn, I thought that'd be higher!

This is what I've been telling people! They don't seem to believe me, though. Maybe now they will.

Grr. Arrgh. I fucking hate cut'n'paste code that's wrong!

~victoria

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2002-02-02 - 12:45 a.m.

A Beautiful Mind

saw A Beautiful Mind tonight.

Acting was amazing.

Russell Crowe's got another Oscar in the bag, I think.

Admittedly, it was hard for me to forget that I was watching *Russell Crowe* for a bit, even with that fake accent. But as Nash got older, I got more into it.

And Jennifer Connelly was superb. I believed she was really torn up about what was happening. And she's so freaking beautiful, it almost hurts to look at her.

Plus, Ed Harris! How can you not love that?

And... extra special points for the appearance of Austin Pendleton, International Coroner of Mystery!

So, all-in-all, a worthy film for my $10.

Then we had a beer at the Waterfront [mmm... Newcastle] and Lee told me her sad tale. We commiserated on how we're going to be old and alone and knitting sweaters for our dogs.

The smoke in there was awful - the guy sitting behind us was chainsmoking and it was wafting right to us. I had to take a shower when I got home because I reeked of smoke, and I loathe that - so we went to the cafe in Borders for hot chocolate, and then went home, lamenting only a little that our wild days are behind us.

It was a lovely night.

And I highly recommend A Beautiful Mind. It drags a bit in places, and was a little too long, but overall, the acting more than makes up for it.

~victoria
[current mood: sleepy]
[current music: Never Get Old - Sinead O'Connor]

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2002-02-01 - 2:40 p.m.

Black Thursday

So I went into Barnes & Noble on my lunch hour - it's here in the building, though I had to go outside because everything in the atrium is locked down because of the WEF.

There's this big sign - "Beaded Clifford purse with purchase of two childrens books", so I get excited, 'cause Nicki would love that, but when I go inside, I realize it's two *Valentine's Day* childrens books, and I'm not going to socialize these kids into buying into the soul-rending Hallmark "holiday" that is Black Thursday, through Franklin's First Valentine or The Rugrats Valentine's Day or whatever.

It's bad enough that, when they get into school, they'll have to wait for that valentine that never comes. Why start the process early by setting up expectations that will hardly ever be met?

So, no Clifford purse. Sigh.

I looked around at the new books, 'cause Lee and I are going to the movies tonight, and her b-day is tomorrow, and I thought I might get her something, and then I realized I have no idea what she likes to read or what she's already read, etc. So I'm just going to pay for the movie for her.

That's good enough. We stopped with the gift-giving a long time ago.

Oh, speaking of shopping and gifts and stuff, I didn't mention the beautiful garnet/silver/marcasite bracelet I bought myself yesterday, did I?

I love this bracelet. The garnets are oval and the marcasite is in little diamond shapes. It's so delicate and pretty, and looks so nice with the lapis/gold/silver Movado bracelet and the two Tiffany bracelets.

Yeah, I've got a wrist full of expensive jewelry. Go me. *g*

To get back to fannish things, melymbrosia has a great discussion of Xander and Anya in her LiveJournal - both as separate characters and together, and how their relationship seemingly undermines a great deal of what we know about Xander.

I'm very bitter about the treatment of Xander since S4. I figured I was over it, that I'd accepted it, but I guess not.

Anyhow, if you're a BtVS fan and you like Xander, it's a good read.

Have done no writing the past two days.

Am not happy about that. I do think I can finish up Time's Fool sometime soon, though, and possibly NotDL if I sit down and actually force myself to write.

I know the words will come, it's just I'm so distracted by everything else - the pretty journals and lots of fun email and surveys and oh yeah, work, and life - that it's all of a sudden the end of the day and I haven't written anything.

Why I'm pushing it off is still something I'm not quite sure of.

Speaking of writing and surveys etc., if you write or read (or both) fanfic, go take the zendom feedback survey. I'm extremely interested in the results, and the more people who take it, the more accurate those results should be.

I think that's all for now.

Just ate honey stung chicken, and have some chocolate pudding for later. Am looking forward to disgusting movie popcorn for dinner, unless I can convince Lee we should hit Tre Pomodori for dinner after the movie.

We'll see...

~victoria
[current mood: sated]
[current music: feeling alright - joe cocker]



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2002-02-01 - 9:50 a.m.

"Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!"

I am so hungry.

I think the dinner consisting of two small bags of peanut M&Ms and then some ice cream at 10 pm really isn't working for me.

Just put up an "all about me" page here.

God, am I vain or what?

Don't answer that.

Couple things that I just don't get:

Real Person Fic.

Why?

Seriously. Why?

It squicks me on a bone-deep level.

Especially Real Person Slash.

The idea that the child or mother or wife of one of those real people you've fictionalized could come across this fic on the internet -- that disturbs me deeply.

I don't care what justifications you come up with, that right there is the reason I find it so... wrong.

You're not going to change my mind on this one, though of course, you're welcome to try.

I mean, I thought the article at Easter Egg Vinegar In Your Eye was very interesting and all, and I get the idea that it's all very meta, and has been going on for ages, but...

::shudder::

As a follow-up, the other question I have is, why boy bands?

They're so ugly!

There is nothing about them that appeals to me, plus, the prefab nature of the music.

I'll grant you "I Want It That Way" is a gem of pure pop perfection.

But after that...

Gagak.

So I just. Don't. Get. It.

~victoria
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[current music: Obscurity Knocks - Trashcan Sinatras]

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The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.

The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.

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