a fool's musings
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...
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2002-02-15 - 12:15 a.m.
dead russian composers
If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Modest Mussorgsky. I am a Romantic period psycho who's drunk more often than not. I died of this affliction, not surprisingly. My famous works include "Night on Bald Mountain" and "Pictures at an Exhibition." Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test
<*snicker*>
~victoria
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2002-02-14 - 3:02 p.m.
Burberry!
Just spent an obscene amount of money on a Burberry tote bag.
Yay me!
And another $15 on candy - swedish fish (which go great with beer, btw), nonpareils, and dark chocolate-covered espresso beans. Vroom vroom.
I think I'll leave the fish here and take the chocolate home.
But me... Burberry tote... so psyched about it, even though it's got no shoulder strap, and I hate having to use a hand to carry a bag, it's just so dang cute... And it comes in its own little cloth bag, to protect it.
Squee!
Just have to make sure no one in the fam ever finds out what I paid for it. They'll commit me.
What else?
Speaking of V-day and the impossibility of love yada yada, Jintian and Maren did a great analysis of why the Spuffy will never, ever work. You can find it at Jintian's blog.
Go read it!
Unless you're a redemptionista.
Then it'll just piss you off. *g*
One of the reasons I stopped hanging around atbvs was the sheer tiresomeness of discussing Spike's chances at redemption etc.
It's funny, just looking at what I've written, how the -ista ending seems to have stayed Buffy-centric, and hasn't really branched out into other fandoms.
I mean, I'm a Xanderista [Queen of 'em, actually *g*], and there were Angelistas, and now there are redemptionistas...
I wonder why that construction didn't catch on elsewhere.
Fandom is an odd and often wonderful place...
~victoria
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2002-02-14 - 11:33 a.m.
random Black Thursday thoughts
Since it's Black Thursday (as we single people refer to it), some randomness about love and life and names and, of course, the X-Men. *snerk*
Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?
Actually NOT a surprise. Biohazard tat, remember? Long before Rogue forced her way into my brain. Also, personal skin issues. *g*
Joan the English Chick articulates my feelings on this Hallmark holiday better than I could, so just go read her V-Day rant.
Also, not related, but curiously fitting, from Brunching Shuttlecocks (a great site. you should visit):
What my name would stand for if I were a cyborg:
V.I.C.: Violence and Infiltration Construct
Just perfect. *g*
***
In other news, I feel really bad for all those people who are searching for Boromir fanfiction, or Legolas pictures, or other random LotR related things and who click on my diary in Google or whatever search engine, and then find that, well, there *is* no Boromir/Aragorn smutfic here, nor is there any Sam/Frodo or Saruman/Sauron. <*snicker*>
Just a discussion of the movie when I saw it, and my constant mention of my dislike of Boromir from the books.
And, of course, how Legolas is SO my boyfriend, with Gandalf as my backup boyfriend.
(I forget whose blog I was reading, but she had some very interesting notes about Gandalf's history, incluing the fact that Galadriel wanted Olorin [The G-man's original name] to head the White Council, but Saruman won out. Politics, even among the Istari... I'm guessing that means the seeds for Saruman's betrayal were sown long, long ago. Envy is a powerful motivator. It's been years since I read The Silmarillion and I don't think I'm ready to wade through it again. I'd like to read the actual Bible first. Maybe then I'll tackle the bible of Middle-Earth.)
So, yeah, no Elijah Wood gushing, though he does have pretty eyes, and no Boromir slash [Faramir, otoh... I could see myself writing angsty Faramir fic, with Eowyn dying horribly, and my own Mary Sue coming to his rescue. *snerk* You know, to marry my two obsessions, it's a shame they didn't get HJ to play Faramir. He'd have been perfect. I mean, I'm sure Wenham's a good actor and all, but he doesn't *look* like Faramir. He looks like Kenneth Brannagh. Which is fine if Faramir were blond, but he's *not*, dammit. I'm stuck on this, I know. Sigh.].
One kiss before dying does not make a relationship.
::waits for people to call me on hypocrisy of being a Logan/Rogue shipper on basis of that statement *g*::
Who *wouldn't* want to kiss Sean Bean? I mean, really?
So yeah, for those of you who've come here under what seem like false pretenses, mi molto dispiace.
Though you know, of all the people from all over the world who've visited, there have yet to be any Italians. Interesting.
I'm thinking Rumpleminze for dinner... anyone else up for some shots of minty fresh 100-proof goodness?
~victoria
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2002-02-14 - 10:07 a.m.
Pretentiousness and fanfic
In her journal, Thamiris wrote (in response to something I had written...go there to read it *g*)...
See, this confuses me. Does it mean that if you're familiar with Lacan and want to talk about him, you can't, because some people might not have read him? If I want to quote from Of Grammatology, does it mean I can't do it?
Not at all.
It just means I don't like it when people try to use famous names and theories to browbeat others into agreeing with them (or at least shutting up) or to make other people feel lesser because they *don't* know something.
Talk about him all you want, but what grates my cheese is when someone is dismissed because they can't join the discussion, or because they ask, "what are you talking about?" and want a layman's explanation instead of one filled with lit crit jargon.
More Tham:
I sometimes feel there's an expectation that we have to limit ourselves intellectually specifically so that we don't seem too interllecshull. If it's relevant, then why not? And I'm not just saying this because I actually have an entry on Lacan. Really. *g* But you talk about whatever you know, right? And if you know Lacan, and are interested in his theories of self formation, then why not?
Again, I have nothing against being intellectual. I've been known to describe myself that way. *g*
And, uh, I didn't know you had an entry on Lacan. I just pulled his name out of a hat. It could have been Foucault, Barthes, Freud or Howe. I just picked the one I know least about. *g*
I find it pretentious when people talk about their *work* as if they're this great author and we hoi polloi don't appreciate them because we "don't get what they're doing" (note sarcastic air quotes), as if they're Joyce or Faulkner reinventing narrative structure or something.
Um, maybe we get it, we just don't want it, you know?
Of course, I find myself impatient with many of the stylistic tricks that fanfic writers try, because they tend to distract from the *story* and well, there aren't many writers (either pro or fan) who can make them work.
Anyhow, it smacks of either hubris or insecurity to me, or perhaps a paradoxical mixture of both, that one has to resort to referencing literary criticism in order to explain/defend/*justify* [and why any fiction needs justification is something I'm wrestling with, and won't go into here *g*] their work, or to comfort themselves on a lack of feedback ("oh, no one understood what I was trying to do; that's why I only got one FB email").
Does that make any sense? I'm a little mushad this morning, so I'm not sure...
Edited to note that Sarah T. answers Tham's question better - more articulately, anyway, than I did in the comments section of Tham's LJ, so you can just read her answer and know what I think of this subject. *g*
~victoria
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2002-02-13 - 10:50 p.m.
speechless... almost
I was nominated in the CBFFAs (though they've added movieverse, and are now calling them the CBFFA/CMFFAs Or something like that).
Color me stunned.
Speechless, almost.
I mean, I voted for me in the first round, but with the exception of one other person, I didn't think anyone else had.
So, um, if you did, thanks. Thanks bunches and bunches.
<*shameless begging*>
Vote for me again.
<*/shameless begging*>
*g*
Or not.
Just... shocked. Really.
Though I know I have no shot, because while I adore Very Sickness, which is the nominated fic, I don't think it can compete with the novel-length fics it's up against.
It's like pitting a VW Bug against a Mack truck in a tractor pull, or something equally, you know, strength-needing.
Anyhow, me = stunned. And amazed. And happy.
Hee!
~victoria
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2002-02-13 - 8:15 p.m.
Buffy & Elmo...perfect together
This came from Joan the English Chick's LJ:
Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
I would have thought Cordelia. In fact, I chose Cordelia, but I guess not.
After having to work an hour overtime because the stupid tax guys decided they needed copies of a certain filing all the way back to July 1997. Grrr...
But then I took this quiz, found at Devil Doll's LJ:
I am ELMO.
I'm cute, cute, as a button!
Which Sesame Street Character Are You?
You are ELMO. You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of backstabbers, and you are worry-free.
and now I feel all cute and, yes, gusys (sic), flopsy. *g*
and this is another from my darlin' DD's LJ:
Are you Addicted to the Internet?
Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) |
Bwahahahaha!
If they only knew.
I answered honestly, but somehow, the truth did not out.
Huh.
Oh well. Just ate dinner, no West Wing tonight, so I'm going to shower and spend the rest of my night online.
<*snicker*>
~victoria
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2002-02-13 - 1:30 p.m.
No ashes for you!
Grr...
Annoyed now.
Went to go get ashes, but the church I chose [St. John the Evangelist, the one closest to the office] only gives ashes on a set schedule.
I missed the 12:10 mass and was too early for the 2:30 service.
I'm used to churches just giving out ashes all day long, especially at lunch time, since there are usually endless lines of people waiting. Our Lady of Victory was like that. St. Paul's, St. Patrick's and St. Agnes were all like that.
But no.... This place has to be different.
So I lit a candle and left.
I guess I'll go without this year.
~victoria
irked
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2002-02-13 - 9:40 a.m.
"for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return"
Having one of those mornings... you know *those* mornings?
I had an outfit all planned out... crisp white shirt. silver cufflinks. black wool sweater. grey pants.
Except, no grey pants.
couldn't find 'em.
So I spent 15 precious minutes looking, and ended up in khakis and a cream colored sweater. And was late to work.
As usual.
Grr.
Hate when that happens.
So, I have Diana checking into the whole Jackman-on-Broadway thing. Will let you know when I hear more. *g*
I guess I'm fasting and abstaining today. Ash Wednesday and all that. I have to go get ashes at lunch.
It's a visible sign of faith, something I don't do very often. It seems ostentatious to me. I may not remember much of my religious education (and 16 years of Catholic school, including college, means *a lot* of religious education, though unlike many of my friends, I didn't have to take any religion courses in college, and I didn't. Love the Jesuits. *g*), but this is one of the things I remember - you're not supposed to show off how faithful and devout you are.
"But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth" (Matthew 6:3)
and
And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Luke 18:9-14
So, right from the horse's mouth, as it were, about being humble in your faith, and not trumpeting to the world what a good, religious person you are, because we're all sinners in need of forgiveness.
I love the Catholic version of fasting: 2 small meals and dinner; no snacking. And abstaining, of course, means no meat.
Not giving anything up. I never do anymore. I do think I'm more aware of myself and my mortality [yes, even *more* aware. The phrase "morbid much?" could have been invented to describe me normally, so me during Lent is always a fun thing *g*], and the giving up meat thing is a reminder of what it is that we're doing -- recognizing and remembering Jesus' sacrifice.
I'm not going to get all religious, because, well, I'm not, and I'm sure most people don't want to read about it.
Especially in light of the news coming out of Boston this past weekend, which makes me ill.
I just remind myself that the church is a human institution, and humans are very, very flawed, and that the evil acts of people don't invalidate the teachings of Christ (which are the teachings of Buddha and Mohammed and every other prophet worth his salt) and the golden rule.
Which is all religion is, after all.
Yeah, I'm a believer. Even though I have many, many issues and questions and doubts, when the shit hits the fan, I revert to my childhood beliefs, which are bone deep and not easily gotten rid of, even if I wanted to.
There's something about being raised Catholic that stays with you.
I know a number of lapsed Catholics who have said that if they were going to return to religion, it'd be to the faith of their childhood.
You've got to love the 2000 years of history, the pageantry, the Latin, the saints, the ascetics, the visionaries... and you have to separate out the bad things and remember that, as I said before, people have free choice, and just because a man becomes a priest or the Pope, doesn't mean he's necessarily a good man, or a just man, or a holy man.
Politics infects everything, and the church is no different.
And this is a little too heavy for me pre-coffee and bagel...
~victoria
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*all quotes are from the King James Version of the Bible...
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The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.
The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.
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