a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

2002-03-30 - 2:30 p.m. Nick Fury of SHIELD Using Dad's PC for the moment. His battery is dying - it's not keeping time anymore. So, Alyssa and I just colored eggs and now we're just waiting for the parents to be ready so we can head to Victor's birthday party. I figured I'd sneak away to hop online and well, say something. What, I'm not exactly sure. I'm just addicted to this thing, and I feel the need to share. *g* While waiting for Daddy this morning, was watching X-Men Evolution. Okay, major coolness points for having Nick Fury show up. I don't even know much about him, except he's the coolest motherfucker in the Marvel universe. I liked Logan's recollections of himself and Capt. America in WWII. Having them rescue the young Erik Lehnsherr from the camps was classic. Though WWII!Logan looked awfully cheery for Logan. And he finally showed some emotion. He's far too zen for me. *Plus*, we got some Rogue/Logan interaction, though honestly, on Evolution, I'm all about the Scott/Rogue and I *wish* they'd do some Storm/Logan. Or Storm/Xavier. *g* Hey, Chuck needs love, too. But I had to leave before the end, so I don't know how it turns out, if Mags kicks Logan's ass and Rogue and Kurt save his bacon or what. I saw up to the part where Rogue points out the landmarks and they're flying up to Magneto's HQ. I just thought it was really cool how they're bringing in all these comicverse characters, with a little bit of a twist. And come on! Nick Fury! He could kill you with his thumbs! *g* Yes, this is all based on Pete's enthusiasm for Fury. I have no idea what he was like in the comics. After we got here, Alyssa and I went to Old Navy and I got Victor's presents. Then we went to bath and body works and bought some travel sized lotions - three for her and three for me, to make 6 for $20. Gotta go now, before they start yelling at me. I swear, it's like being 13 instead of 31 when I'm here. ~victoria [current mood: busy] [current music: A Matter of Trust - Billy Joel] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-30 - 12:44 a.m. to sleep, perchance to dream Off to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. My 3.5 hours of sleep last night have left me a little very punchy. The Knicks sucketh like unto a hoover. Jean says Kevin Garnett is the embodiment of every man who's ever hit on me, and he's not wrong. Except none of those men make millions of dollars in the NBA. I've gathered all my tax papers, and all the bills that need paying, and I hope to get some of that done this weekend, as well as some laundry. Daddy's coming in to pick me up, about which the less said, the better. I was planning on taking the train tonight, but -- let's just say that plan was scuttled, even though until yesterday it had been settled. Whew, I just found an email I thought I'd mistakenly deleted, and I feel much better about it, since it's FB I need to respond to. I hate when I get that, "Omigod! It was just here! Where is it?" feeling. My stomach hates it, as well. I internalize everything, and some people have headaches or muscle spasms or something. Me, everything goes right to my stomach. Makes for an intersting commute sometimes. *snerk* Sleep now. More tomorrow... ~victoria [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-29 - 1:10 p.m. "I had my craw removed years ago, so I could sleep nights" Okay, I thought it was optimistic to think I'd actually get to leave at noon, but dammit, I *am* capable of looking through files for a UPS slip, and if I say it's not in any of the files in my filing cabinet, I *mean* it. Christ. My only consolation is that this was all done and sent long before I ever got here. So, not my fault, in the end. I mean, *I* don't know what they did in April 2001. The stuff isn't in any of the files the lady before me left, so how the hell should *I* know where it is? It's nice when something is not my fault, since for so long everything was. And also, thank you MTS for teaching me to save every freaking piece of paper that crosses my desk that might be important at some later date. It's saving my bacon now, when I've saved things I was told I didn't need to, but I'm not going to get into the "I don't have it" thing again. I hope. So, leaving early means I can go home and then come back for the game. M&D are at the old house today, and I'm tempted to bag on tonight, head home and go out to the house today, instead of tomorrow morning, but... I never bail. Not unless I'm near death. I mean, yeah, cancelling is one thing, ahead of time. But this is something for which there are tickets. *Money* has changed hands (though not my money); I can't bag on that. Even though the Knicks suck and they're not going to win and it makes my life complicated to do this.... If I had just looked at the calendar and realized it was Good Friday before I agreed to tonight's game... sigh... On the fannish tip, the lovely Seema answered my plea for some reading material, and once again brought up the topic of what one owes fandom, if anything. And I'm still mulling on that. Because I do think there is something owed to fandom, to [generic] *your* fandom in particular and to Fandom in general [as in the One Fandom]. I think it's often unconscious, or subconscious, but it's *there* and we all feel it, or some of us feel it, anyhow. I think the people who don't feel it are those who don't behave with respect toward their fandom and Fandom in general. In late-breaking news, I've just learned that there is a certain forum on which three of the biggest egos I've ever had the "pleasure" of encountering online are now involved. This could be very interesting if they start rubbing up against each other. 'Cause you know rubbing... it causes that friction we love so much. And I'm not talking the sexual kind, either. *snerk* So, Jenn has begun Round 2 of best v. favorite, and she makes some salient points: Here's another facet to 'best' versus 'favorite'--squicks and pairings and fandoms of choice, including the split fandoms of X-Men Comicverse/X-Men Movieverse/X-Men Evolution/Ultimate X-Men/etc and Superman Comic/Smallville. Some fic I will never read. The authors are great, great, great, and may write things that are beyond words excellent. They won't go into my favorites because I don't read their stories, because that pairing/fandom/whatever does not interest me/squicks me/do not watch/etc. But I would be the last to deny they're GOOD. I mean, seriously--as Min has stated, there are certain objective standards to go by. And some authors are just brilliant. I agree with this heartily. I've heard many great things about Iolokus by Mustang Sally and Rivka T. I'm sure it really is all the wonderful things people say. But I have no desire to read it. *shrug* In my own fandoms, I will not read Logan/Jean (though I *did* read Jenn's *and* send her FB. *nods* I said, "I have to go be ill now, but the writing was wonderful." *g*) but obviously, I trusted Jenn enough to test it out. I've learned that I can't read it though, not without a very violent, somatic response, so I don't. Do I send flames to the authors who write it? No. I hit delete. (And I'm the first to admit, I'm not as pure as Jenn. I have sent the occasional flame. Sometimes one's fingers are faster than one's brain, and errors in judgement are made. Especially when one knows that the recipient of one's flames is not pure herself, but is, rather, a big old hypocrite. And I should probably delete this section, 'cause it'll no doubt get me in trouble, but... sigh... it's only the truth as I know it. I have a temper. I lose it sometimes. I regret it muchly later, and have learned to step away from the keyboard.) More Jenn: A lot of this residual bitterness comes from a year in movieverse, where nary a week went by without someone, literally, commenting on the stupidity/criminality/evil/blahblahblah of my primary pairing of choice, and less often but also tricky, the old 'well, it's okay for a movieverse/LoganRogue story', which makes me grit my teeth and think hard that this really is a compliment, really. Diebin's experiences on fanfiction.net (and people, it's the most gorgeous array of badly-spelled flames in creation) were amazingly vitriolic--you'd almost think she was pimping out her daughter on the corner by the sheer level of anger going on Now, I was only vaguely aware that there was this whole huge thing *against* Logan/Rogue when I began reading it. And I was fairly lucky to not have a really bad experience on FF.net when I posted a few of my fics to the comics section instead of the movie section. I mean, yeah, some people said some things about the L/R pairing, but they were mostly in passing, even the infamous "peddling pedophilia" comment [on Faculty Follies, btw, if you're interested] was only mentioned in passing, which is why I didn't react badly to it, though I think it's hysterical that *one line* referring to a *possible* L/R ship in a fic about *Scott* merited such a mention. But yeah, when you're the redheaded stepchild of a fandom, you get defensive. You close off, and don't want to associate with the rest of the fandom, even the 90% of nice people who are out there and couldn't care less about your pairing but aren't going to make an issue of it. Then, of course, when your subgenre fractures, again, there's the same closing off, circling the wagons mentality. I feel it in myself, and I know it exists in other people. Because I shouldn't have to defend my pairing to people who hate it with a fiery vengeance. I mean, I'm not sitting here passing moral judgements on the people who write Logan/Jean, am I? I'm not saying they're advocates of fornication and adultery, not to mention betrayal and hypocrisy. No, because I'm sure most of 'em are perfectly nice people. (I can't comment as to their *goodness* in a moral sense. I don't know 'em. I don't have any business making those sorts of comments.) So why the hell do people feel like commenting on *my* morality because I write Logan/Rogue? And really, some of these are the same people cheering on Ult-X Logan/Jean. But I already gave that rant. Here's another, canonical couple to chew on. Pete Wisdom/Kitty Pryde. How old was Kitty when they took up together? Huh? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. And I'm off on a tangent again. But that kind of hypocrisy really sticks in my craw. There are some baseline, objective quality standards in writing. I've gone through that, as well. Admittedly, I may dislike something based on pairing, or because I was in the mood for a happy ending and read an angst fic, or *whatever*, but I can and do admit when a story is well-written, regardless of whether or not I liked it, or the person who wrote it. I mean, I don't judge music by the behavior of rock stars. I like what I like. Though for actors, disliking someone makes it harder for me to really get into their performance (Russell Crowe comes to mind. I think he's a prick. I also think he's one of the best actors to come down the pike in a lot of years), but I still think he should have won Best Actor, his performance at the BAFTAs notwithstanding. And that, in a nutshell, is all we're talking about. Quality is quality, even if you don't like it. To get back to the carpentry analogy I like so much, just because you think the bookcase is ugly doesn't mean it's not well-made. ~victoria [current mood: brutally honest] [current music: Red Rain - Peter Gabriel] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-29 - 2:39 a.m. new friday five I'm getting this in early... 1. If you could eat dinner with and "get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose? Wow. The answers that run through my mind. Shakespeare. Faulkner. Byron. John Lennon. Joseph Heller. JD Salinger. But I'll go with the stereotypical answer and say Jesus. Just 'cause. I really have some questions and I'd love to hear what he thinks of what's been done in his name. 2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel? Um, does Christa McAuliffe (edited this morning, and reason #237 why posting after 2 am is a bad idea) count? I remember being very shaken by the Challenger disaster. River Phoenix's death made me very sad - he was so young and talented. 3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose? Couldn't I be me, just famous? Um, Audrey Hepburn. 4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who? Not that I recall, no. 5. Have you ever met anyone famous? I shook Geraldine Ferraro's hand. I've spoken with Mary Tyler Moore on the phone I had lunch with Angie Harmon before she was famous. I went to grammar school and high school with Peter Facinelli [who may or may not still be married to Jennie Garth. *g*]. ~victoria [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-29 - 2:30 a.m. we are experiencing technical difficulties. please stand by... Gah. Tried to update earlier. Many, many problems with various web browsers. Solution? LJ which, for once, wasn't down when I needed it. Go there. Read. Or not. ~victoria [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-28 - 2:40 p.m. musings of a semi-slasher I'm having frozen yogurt and fruit salad for lunch (no smart remarks, please) and dear god, the pineapple... It's the sweetest, bestest, most succulently perfect pineapple ever. I could have an orgasm from this pineapple. Which is possibly TMI. I'm not quite sure. So, uh, why aren't you people writing anything? Why is no one updating their diaries or posting fic? Hmm? What, am I supposed to work all day again? Pffft... I did figure out how to change certain things on LJ, so thanks to those who sent me instructions. *g* Spent the morning playing with their weird version of html. All those %%% are a little befuddling. I'm starting to feel guilty that I haven't volunteered to write an article for zendom. I mean, I have ideas, but I don't think I could flesh them out enough without research and such. My time as a fic writer is so small compared to others' and I haven't been in a really big fandom as a writer. I mean, I write a miniscule amount of BtVS/Angel fic and I unsubbed from all the BtVS/Angel lists I lurked on. I don't even really look at .creative much anymore. So my experience there isn't going to help me. I can talk about pairings, and why certain things just spark, but again, it would have to be experiential, and who wants to read that? I'm like Beth. I follow the sparkage. If I don't see it, I don't write it. Or if the show is satisfying without fic, I don't write. Or if the fic is of sufficient quality and quantity that I can get what I need, I don't write it. I think fans get the fandom they deserve. Fans create the atmosphere on a mailing list etc. And I think Te's theory about certain shows attracting certain types of people is right on target. Behavior informs fandom and fandom then informs behavior. It can be a vicious circle, especially if you get a few of those Nurse Ratchett types Josh was talking about last night. *snerk* There might be something to write about in the One Fandom theory, I don't know. Hmm... In other news, though Jenn has not updated yet today, damn her, she wrote some very interesting things yesterday: As Victoria said of herself, I'm not a natural slasher, though at this rate, I'm getting to the place where I can't honestly say that this isn't just as comfortable for me as het. And I don't know how many people really feel the difference between slash and het not just because of the pairing and the sexuality, but the different mindset altogether. And it IS different--a very long time ago, CatHeights tried to explain it to me when I was beta'ing a slash writer. I just didn't GET it. [...] Is it just me that feels that difference? And I'm not talking about in terms of plot or characterization either, because to be honest, there isn't much of one when it gets right down to it, though at least in Smallville, I've noticed that slashers work ALOT harder and more thoroughly to make the pairing work. They DON'T take it for granted. [...] I admit, I don't know if I'm quite as comfortable in slash as I am in het. It's not the sex... okay, *some* of it is still the sex. I don't know what it feels like for a man. Admittedly, I run into this same problem when writing hetsmut from a male POV, which, strangely, I'm somewhat more comfortable doing than I am with writing it from a female POV, though I think that tends to be because I'm a little afraid of exposing *myself* in writing sex from the female POV. Hmm... I mean, yeah, I read Minotaur's slash tips before writing my first explicit slash fic, and I really ought to go back and brush up. And I think I avoid the dreaded girlie-man pitfall that hamstrings so many otherwise decent writers. I don't think I feminize my guys at all. That's one of the things I cannot stand in my slash. It's up there with MPREG as things that get excoriated by me. But... as a straight woman, I don't know that I get what must be the fraught nature of a young man's first time having gay sex. I mean, in our society, as much as we love "Will & Grace", we're still highly heterosexist. So what must it mean for a teenage boy to desire - and to have sex with - another male? And then, given the fandoms I write in, how does it feel to be doubly alienated from society's "norms"? A mutant/alien *and* gay? I'm not looking for big treatises on coming out etc. But that *has* to have some place, on some deep level, in any first time CLex or St. John/Bobby or whatever pairing story. As for making the pairing work, taking the time to set up *why* (a word that comes up frequently with me, if you've noticed *g*) this pairing should be together is key. Yes, you're pretty much preaching to the converted, and we all get lazy sometimes. "It just is." "It's fated to be." They're the "One True Pairing" ("OTP") or each other's "One True Love" ("OTL"). I admit it, I sometimes take it for granted with Rogue and Logan. The other night, someone sent me an email with some suggestions about the cave-in story, and she wrote about the Rogue/Logan dynamic, and I was a little annoyed (Confidential to PC: Sorry if I was a little curt in my response). I mean, I've been writing R/L since the beginning practically. I'm one of the few people who started back in the summer of 2000 who's still writing it. So I was like, "What the fuck? Why are you telling me this? I know this. Hell, I created some of this fanon." And I do. I did. But sometimes, we all need to step back from our shipperness and view the relationship through unbiased eyes. Why would Logan want Rogue? Why, after the way many of us write Logan, would Rogue want *him*? So yeah, with that, it gets taken for granted, the way I'm sure many, many het pairings - especially canonical ones (Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike anyone?) do. With Clark and Lex, it's harder, because you have to overcome that layer of disbelief that Superman would be in love with Lex Luthor, and that, in smalltown Kansas, a 16 year old Clark Kent is going to be comfortable coming out. Or even remaining closeted but in a relationship with Lex. But it can be done, and done well. It's attention to those subtle nuances of dealing with these issues that separates the the great fic from the good, and the good fic from the merely mediocre. Hmm... I have no idea if that's what Jenn was talking about, I just started rambling and ended up here. I do have other thoughts - lots of other thoughts - about a couple things related to Slashville. One is, and I'm still not sure how to respond to this, which is why I haven't on list yet, the idea that Alpha!Lana, or Lana under the flower power (sorry) was evil. WTF? Lana behaved like a fifteen year old girl. She was a brat. A spoiled, pouting hormonal brat. Her deepest desire was to climb the windmill and look at the skyline. Yeah, I'm seeing big evilosity there. That, my friends, was sarcasm. The other thing I've been thinking about, because it's a constant topic of discussion in this fandom, is how the Clark/Lex break will happen, and if it will be when Lex finds out Clark's secret, and how Lex will respond to Clark's secret. Lots of people are putting the onus on Clark for not coming clean and for lying repeatedly, while Lex is doing a little more dancing around but basically telling the truth. You know, I don't think it's that fact that Clark doesn't tell Lex his secret that's going to be a problem. I mean, can you blame him? He's an *alien*, people. I wouldn't tell anyone, either. And the need for secrecy has been so ingrained in him these past 12 years... it's going to take more than a few months of really heated glances to crack that wall. No, I think it's the fact that he lies about having a secret that's going to get him in deep with Lex. The lying and the covering up - the not saying, "Yeah, Lex. I have a secret. I can't tell you. I wish I could. But it's not my secret alone, and maybe someday, I'll be able to reveal it." I think Lex would accept that, now. But this constant litany of, "I'm normal." is just digging Clark in deeper and deeper. My frozen yogurt is all melted now. Sigh. I've been talking too long, I suppose. G is driving me *insane*. But FNG was just very chatty for a few moments. *meep*... If you feel the need to share, go here or here. Needy New Guy is still fucking annoying, though. Go ask *your* admin to purchase your supplies! ~victoria [current mood: thoughtful] [current music: Break On Through - the Doors] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-28 - 10:28 a.m. Dating is a form of self-destruction. Added a new diary to my reading list (and I have to update my html to reflect that...) Claritylit. She's an L/R fan and she's writing fic. Woohoo! I need - and I mean that in it's most basic, visceral sense - I crave more quality L/R fic, and I think she's got the stuff, based on the couple of snips she's posted. So go and encourage her to write more. She writes more, I read, I write more, I'm happy again... it's all connected. 'Cause we all know it's all about me. *g* Anyhow, she has a link to a rant on writing, but since the link freezes my Netscape every time I click on it (god, working at home is *so* much easier. Say what you will about Microsoft - and god knows, I've said plenty - at least IE runs every site I click on without shutting down for odd reasons), so I'm going to link to her and you can get to him from there. I'll just quote what she quoted, since it's so *very* pertinent to fic and to writing in general: But it's painful to come across a journal full of misspellings and imprecise word usages that is written by someone who is trying to express herself stylistically. Even worse is when that person contends that creative writing shouldn't have to be subject to any grammatical concerns, which to me is like saying that creative architecture shouldn't have to be subject to any concerns about sound building mechanics. It's a big, fat COP-OUT. These people want to have it both ways: they want to be taken seriously as writers, but they don't want to be held to any objective standards of craftsmanship. They want to enjoy the romance of artistic self expression without having to work at the unglamorous aspects of the task, which is disrespectful to all the ink-stained wretches out there who accept the challenge of criticism and struggle for years to become skillful with words. He sums up so well all the things that piss me off about the "It's only a hobby" mindset. Because if you were a carpenter or a pilot on the side, you sure as hell wouldn't stand for faulty chairs or bad flying, even though it's not your job. Gah. Quick question, and one I'll ask over at LJ as well: How do I change the *page* background color on LJ. I want it to be #c0c0c0, not whatever blue it is now... Actually, I have a whole layout I'd like to install over there, the one I was contemplating changing Muse's Fool to (which looks like crap in Netscape, btw, but you'll get the general idea), except that the idea of reformatting 140-odd stories makes me want to curl up and die. I'd also like to change the title from "victoria p's journal" to "frail and bedazzled"... On the fic front, I'm staring at "Night of the Dead Living" - both my fic and the transcript of the episode - and right now I've got Rogue giving Munch's famous speech, because I didn't want it to be Logan - that's too stereotypically Logan, and right now, with this fic, I'm making Rogue the clueless one and Logan the pining one. *G* That may change. But I don't want Rogue to be unlikable. I also don't want her to be perfect. I mean, I like Munch, despite this little tirade, but ... I can just hear Pete. "I don't like this Rogue very much." So I was thinking Jubilee could give the speech, but that seems like a cop out. I mean, why can't I make Rogue unlikable? Or at least, not the little goody two shoes she so often is in L/R fic? I'm trying to make her an adult, a complex woman with more than, "Oh protect me/fuck me Logan" on her mind. So yeah, I think I will leave the speech with Rogue. For now. If I get a better idea, all bets are off. *g* For those of you wondering, this is the speech: Munch: All I was gonna say is, what are you gonna call Dr. Blythe for? Say you go out. You're a saint. You're everything you can be in a perfect world. So you sleep together. After the third time you do it, it's actually good instead of just saying it is. But how could it not be good? It's sex. So you get intimate. You get real close. You talk about your childhood, your parents, your broken dreams. You talk about relationships that didn't work out. You get so intimate you tell her your problems. You get loose, rude, a little insensitive. You're not a saint anymore. And one day, she goes, "I don't know who you are. You're not the guy I got involved with." You apologize. You realize you've actually spent the last six months apologizing for who you were the first two weeks. Then, in the middle of some night, she leaves you. In the dark. Nice, huh? Is that what you want? Bolander: I know why she left you. I mean, you, you don't know when to shut up. Munch: Your partner, Mitch, makes love to goats. (That last line - that's for Sparky. *g*) ~victoria [current mood: pondering] [current music: Kashmir - Led Zeppelin] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-27 - 11:26 p.m. indelible moments No writing is getting done. Ever again, by the way I'm going right now. I'm just so tired. Though really, writing here is writing, it's just a different *kind* - like school-kind of writing. Which I always enjoyed. Yeah, I was the freak who enjoyed writing my papers, especially if it was on a topic I was geeked about. Absalom! Absalom! The three Electras. Paradise Lost. So, I am doing thoughtful writing things, I'm just sort of writing informal mini-essays on writing instead of writing fiction. Yeah, that's comforting. For about 40 seconds. Anyhow, ramblings on The US Poet Laureate, tonight's West Wing ep, are over in the LJ. In other news, this morning I mentioned how Nestra has compiled a list of indelible scenes, and since 1. I'm a bandwagon jumper, and 2. I love making lists, I figured I'd throw out some of my indelible tv moments for your perusal and delight. In no particular order: Gone for Goode (Homicide)- Bayliss standing in the rain looking at Adena Watson's body in the alley. Crosetti (Homicide) - "No honor guard. No honor guard. No honor guard." The triple-take is extremely effective in that scene, imo. Also, "that silly man and his silly cookies." Meldrick breaking down in Bolander's arms. And, of course, Frank on the steps at the end. God, that still makes me weepy. Betrayal (I think) (Homicide) - "Where do I put my hate?" A Many Splendored Thing (Homicide) - "I'm saying you got a darkness, you Tim Bayliss, you got a darkness inside of you. You gotta know the darker, uglier sides of yourself. You gotta recognise them, so they're not constantly sneaking up on you; you gotta love 'em because they're part of you, because along with your virtues they make you who you are. Virtue isn't virtue unless it slams up against vice, so consequently, your virtue is not *real* virtue until it's been tested... tempted." God, I love Frankentim and car conversations. Justice Pt 2 (I think) (Homicide) - The grilled cheese sandwiches at the end. *g* Thrill of the Kill (Homicide)- Frankentim in their flannels, drinking coffee at the roadblock, as A Stroke of Luck plays. Same episode - the very beginning. "Just answer the question, Frank. How was your weekend?" "It el suckoed the big-o wiener-o. There. I'm bilingual." and "They named a town in Mexico after the rat-dog?" "No, Frank, they named the rat-dog after a town in Mexico." The Damage Done (Homicide) - "Michael 'I can take a whupping' Kellerman" - that whole scene with Drak. Every Mother's Son (Homicide) - "You know, everyday I get out of bed and drag myself to the next cup of coffee. I take a sip and the caffeine kicks in. I can focus my eyes again. My brain starts to order the day. I'm up, I'm alive. I'm ready to rock. But the time is coming when I wake up and decide that I'm not getting out of bed. Not for coffee, or food or sex. If it comes to me, fine. If it won't, fine. No more expectations. The longer I live, the less I know. I should know more. I should know the coffee's killing me. You're suspicious of your suspicions? I'm jealous. I'm so jealous. You still have the heart to have doubts. Me? I'm going to lock up a 14-year-old kid for what could be the rest of his natural life. I got to do this. This is my job. This is the deal. This is the law. This is my day. I have no doubts or suspicions about it. Heart has nothing to do with it anymore. It's all in the caffeine." And the thing of it is, this speech is not in the script. Someone came up with it in rehearsal, or off-the-cuff or *something.* Becoming 2 (Buffy) - Everything from the moment Xander shows up - "Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a scared guy with a rock..." Yes, the Lie. The fight. The amazing response - "What do you have left?" "Me." And of course, "Close your eyes." And then the bus ride out of town. ::sniff:: Passion (Buffy) - Angelus watching through the window as Willow and Buffy get the news about Jenny. Giles finding Jenny in his bed. The flaming baseball bat. Buffy and Giles on the sidewalk outside the factory. "I can't do this without you." Prophecy Girl (Buffy) - "I'm sixteen years old, Giles. I don't want to die." Also, "Pretty much at the end of the day, I think you're a vampire." "You love her, don't you." "Don't you?" Homecoming (Buffy) - The Fluke The Prom (Buffy) - The Umbrella The Wish (Buffy) - The Master snapping Buffy's neck. Innocence (Buffy) - The car conversation with Giles, and the very ending. "Just let it burn." Also, Willow and Xander - "You'd rather be with someone you hate, than be with me." Sigh. When She Was Bad (Buffy) - Xander, in the library: "If they hurt Willow I'll kill you." Eternity (Angel) - Cordelia bluffing drug-induced Angelus (oh, and this is one that should be on my worst of Angel list. Please? Some happy pills unleash Angelus? THey've got to get together on what the soul actually *does* and there wasn't a real clear explanation on how or why this worked.) Reunion (Angel) - "I can't seem to care." and he shuts the lawyers in with Darla and Dru. The Trial (Angel) - "How did you think this would end?" ::shivers:: Somnambulist(Angel) - when Kate shoves the two-by-four through Angel and Penn. I've Got You Under My Skin (Angel) - When the Ethros reveals that the kid has no soul Sleep Tight (Angel) - okay this is probably too new, but damn, Wesley's final scene. Nightmares (Buffy) - Buffy's nightmare of Hank telling her the divorce was all her fault ::shivers:: Lovers Walk (Buffy) - "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." Spike's whole speech. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (Homicide) - Beau's rant on Kay quitting smoking: "Oh my God, you quit smoking. You committed this madness without consulting me first? Are you nuts? No no no, you're selfish. You ex-smokers're more relentless than AA or, or the moonies or those born-again vegetarians! Well, tell you what, I'm not gonna let you bully me about this. I don't wanna hear about how your lungs are pinker than a newborn baby's or how you, you're free of mucus and phlegm. It's all a bunch of crap. It's all a bunch of nonsense. I don't want you counting the number of days you go without a cigarette when you're supposed to be watching my back. You're puttin' my life on the line! I'll put in for hazard pay. No -- you know what? I'm gonna put in for another partner." Black and Blue (Homicide) - Frank getting Lane Staley (and what *was* it with the grunge references on this show?) to confess to a murder he didn't commit. Frasier - Niles and Maris's fencing coach fencing. Also, the one where he and Daphne tango. Friends - Ross and Rachel's first kiss. ER - Lucy's death. I'd love to also say Doug's reappearance in Carol's last ep, but I missed it. Grr. ER - Doug waiting on the steps at Carol's house. Two Cathedrals (West Wing) - Jed's rant at God in the National Cathedral. Full Court Press (Homicide) - "Bayliss has a plan." "A clever plan." "Bayliss has a clever plan." And also, Psycho!Mike: "Screw the dead. What have their moldering asses ever done for me?" Home (X-Files) - Mama's appearance X-Files - the one with the German title and Satan as a substitute teacher. "It was a pleasure working with you." ::shivers:: Requiem for Adena (Homicide) - Bayliss putting away the carnation and Adena's picture at the end. Stakeout (Homicide) - "You never say please. You never say thank you." "Please don't be an idiot. Thank you." Cheers - Way back during the Sam and Diane years, there's a scene when Diane is about to go off with Sam's older brother, and Sam wants to ask her to stay, and she *wants* him to ask her to stay, and it's one of the most beautifully poignant scenes I've ever seen on television. There's another scene from Cheers (or possibly it's part of this one. I don't recall) where Sam is *thisclose* to going off the wagon, and he talks about his lucky bottlecap... Deception (Homicide) - Luther Mahoney: "What are you gonna do, Detective? Read me my rights?" Mike Kellerman: "You have the right to remain silent." Bang. "Anybody got a problem with that? Okay, it was probably the beginning of the end for the show, but damn, what a scene. The Sopranos - season 1 finale, where Tony tries to smother Livia. Hmm... I think that's enough for now, but damn, there's a lot of good television just from BtVS/Angel and H:LotS. I feel like there should be more X-Files moments, but honestly, I never did watch it in reruns. Where is everybody? I'm on AIM. Where are you? ~victoria [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-03-27 - 10:12 a.m. pop culture dreams Omar's recap of Nicodemus is up. I laughed out loud, literally, in very many places. It's the best recap in a while. Omar is *so* my boyfriend. Just so you know. Mine and Beth's, and Jenn's and Andy's. He's a busy guy. ~*~ Pop culture dream of the moment: Night before last, I dreamt I found the porno version of an X-Men comic. It was the All-Nude! Issue, with Wolvie in a threesome with Rogue and Storm. Except Rogue was clothed. Poor girl. I need to get me a life. And on *that* note, let me direct you to this site. I think I've found my place in life. Sigh. I haven't done this in a while, so "narcoleptic oral sex." and just for variety, and because it makes me giggle, *steamy ninja sex* I know there was something else I wanted to talk about... Oh yeah, Nestra [gah, no link today. Maybe when I get home tonight I'll edit it in. I can't view her site at work. Stupid corporate firewall] listed favorite/indelible scenes from tv shows... I want to do that, but I don't have time right now, because I have to go make copies. I swear, if in twenty years they learn that copiers cause cancer, I am so dead. More later... ~victoria [current mood: rushed] [current music: House of the Rising Sun - The Animals] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables