a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

2002-05-03 - 11:29 p.m. tabula rasa An entry which has nothing to with Buffy. Nyah. Since this seems to dovetail into my discussion of and rambly thoughts on courtesy, I figured I'd write about it. *g* Jenn wrote: As a writer, I loathe them. I loathe coding, warning, and anything even vaguely spoilerish. Hell, I don't even get along well with SUMMARIES, and I've had issues with having to rate something. It's weird but true. That's the writer in me, who wants the reader to walk in blind and deaf and only see EXACTLY what I want them to see from the first second. Complete blankness, if you will, no reader expectations, so everything is new and bright and so forth. That's my inner writer. See, I think that's a totally unrealistic expectation in fanfic. The reader brings with her a whole *boatload* of preconceptions and expectations to *every* fanfic she opens. Because she already knows the characters, has her own notion of how they behave, has her own likes and dislikes that may have been what led her to open your story in the first place. It's very easy to say, "I want the reader to be a tabula rasa when they open my story," but that only applies in those odd circumstances where the reader isn't familiar with the fandom. I mean, if I open up a Stargate fic, I may as well be reading original fiction, because I've never seen the show, and I have vague recollections of James Spader and Kurt Russell being in a movie by that name. Honestly, I'm more likely to recall the Atari game "Stargate" than I am to know a damned thing about the television show. so if I were to actually to read a fic in that fandom by an author I know from elsewhere, your expectations would be reasonable. (And really, this is me. I don't read fic for shows I've never seen. Just not interested. Too much non-fan fiction out there to read instead.) But otherwise, I don't think so. Because part of what makes a fanfic good, in my opinion, is the nailing of the characters' behavior/voice/motivations. If I don't already have an idea of what the characters should sound/act like, I'm not going to be a very good judge of characterization, am I. Someone may write a wonderful story in which none of the characters actually resemble the characters I know. This is not good fanfiction, though it may be good writing and good original fiction. So as a writer of fanfiction, I think demanding the reader know as little as possible about the story going in is... hmm... no matter how I phrase it it's going to be kind of rude... at least slightly ludicrous. Unless you're expecting your readers not to already be in the fandom when they read your work. As a reader, of course, I'm all for pairing codes. My reasons have been expounded upon fairly often, and they boil down to me wanting to avoid the dreaded Logan/Jean at all cost. *g* What? I don't have to refrain from bashing a character or ship in my own diary. And as a writer, well, one of the things I like about fanfic is that the audience comes premade and already familiar with the characters. *g* ~*~ In other stuff, go read Achromatic by Hope. Excellent Smallville/Homicide crossover, featuring a dead-on Frank Pembleton and a very interesting conversation between him and Lex. Also, can I do a little fangirly squeeing? Mustang Sally is linking to me. Hee! As always, comments are welcome. ~victoria [current mood: rested] [current music: Mets-'Stros on television] [random quote: For the ones who had the notion / the notion deep inside / that it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive] ~*~ 2002-05-03 - 10:45 a.m. You're gonna carry that weight a long time Once again, my mouse is refusing to move in a right-left way. Grrr... So I didn't get online at all last night. Amazing, ain't it? Mostly I read. And slept. And read more. And then slept again. I finished The Golden One on the train ride home last night (and the less said about that commute, the better). I loved it. Yeah, there are structural problems - the whole Gaza section is plunked down in the middle, splitting the archaeological plot into two discrete sections, but it was just so damned much fun that I can't really complain. It was the funniest of the books since, god I can't remember when. Possibly before even Hippopotamus Pool and definitely since the start of that four novel mini-arc that began in The Ape Who Guards the Balance. You wouldn't think that the subject matter would lead to lightness, but MPM has regained her deft touch with comedy. Thank God. Or, rather, she probably never lost it, just pushed it to the side to handle the inherent melodrama of Ramses/Nefret and WWI. I couldn't take much more of the melancholy atmosphere that was hanging over the books, WWI notwithstanding. I'm hoping she takes the series up to 1922, when Carter discovered Tutankhamon's tomb. Poor Emerson. You know he's overlooked that site numerous times. *g* Then I went grocery shopping, which always makes me cranky. When I got home, after doing various necessary things, I crashed into bed. It was about 8pm I guess, and I set the alarm for 9 so I could get up and get online and answer some email. I didn't actually get up until 10, however, and decided to forget about going online. I wanted to finish World's End, which was more enjoyable than I expected it to be, because I was very unimpressed at the beginning. See, I'm really into the stories with Dream, and since he wasn't a major player, I wasn't particularly interested in the stories. But the necropolis one was damned interesting, if morbid. That damned cortege at the end, however... I'm not stupid, you know? I have a tendency to make connections and see patterns where none exist. So I started added up the facts as I knew them. ***SPOILER WARNING*** I'm going to be spoiling some stuff for the Sandman series as a whole, so if you're one of those people who, like me, has just gotten on the bandwagon, leave now. ***END SPOILER WARNING*** ***BEGIN SPOILERS*** So, Desire has been trying to get Dream to kill one of their own blood. S/he says so in... Doll's House, I think. The Rose Walker arc. Because Rose is hir [the only place the word fits, since Desire is both male and female, or perhaps, neither) granddaughter, and Desire wanted Dream to kill her, as the Dream Vortex. That didn't quite work out, though. Now, Dream does kill Orpheus, his son. And well, two books later, we get the title, The Kindly Ones, and the book that follows that is called The Wake. Add in the funeral cortege at the end of World's End, and how sad both Death and Delirium looked, well... I had a strange foreboding, as Peabody would say. *g* Seriously, I mean, I honestly didn't think Dream would die, but still... I took Greek tragedy in college. Electra in all three versions was my *thing*. I know the Kindly Ones is just a nicer way of saying the Furies, and well, Morpheus had spilled family blood, much as Orestes did. Now, I was hoping that, like Orestes, he'd get out of the situation. He'd fix it up. (Of course, reading the stupid introduction told me what was going to happen. I *hate* spoilers in the introduction. Grr...) But that damned Hippolyta Hall. She had to go off her rocker and get the Erinyes all stirred up. *sniff* I realize that there's a new Dream Lord, but he's not the same. I mean, even Dream himself was changing, even if he refused to admit it until it was almost too late. He was growing up, becoming more... human. More empathetic, anyway. More aware of the interdependence of all things and his effect on them. And it weighed him down, poor boy. I loved the last scene with him and Death. Sigh. I know I'll get used to the new Dream, and I know that there's a whole bunch of stories set earlier on in the universe [reading Mr. Gaiman's journal is helpful in that regard], so I know he'll be back, but it won't be the same. Sigh. I loved how his people rallied around him, even Mervyn. And how Cain was so upset by what happened to Abel. "I'm the murderer here! I have a contract!" Don't like the Corinthian much in this incarnation, either, but I suppose it's better than the last. As for Matthew... dear, dear Matthew. And Lucien. I hope The Wake ties up some of the loose ends. What do Desire and Despair think, now that they've succeeded in their plans? How does Rose Walker fit in, and what about her baby? And what's the deal with Remiel? Could Duma please smack him? Poor Nuala, in love with Dream and no longer fit to live in Faerie, if she ever was. Gah. I just know the last book is going to be "elegiac" and I hate that. I want the characters I love to live forever. And gee, I thought with a sobriquet like Dream of the Endless that I had a shot at getting that this time. Dammit. Stupid foolish noble boy. And, to tie in with my entry about geekiness from last week, I had absolutely no qualms whatsoever about pulling The Kindly Ones out this morning, both on the A and the E, so I could find out what happened. [tangent] (Yes, I agree with Kit about too much italicizing going on in fanfic. I'm guilty of it myself. Well, no. I'm more guilty of it in here, where I'm writing as if I were talking to you, and I do gesticulate wildly while speaking and also honestly? I don't trust a lot of people to get what I'm saying without direction. I mean, I don't have a high opinion of the average person's reading comprehension skills, especially random people who click over here and don't already know me and the flavor of my conversation.) [/tangent] Anyhow, finding out what happened to Dream is way more important to me than what random strangers on the train think of my reading material, you know? Hell, I wrote first person, present tense smut huddled on the A train. I should be ashamed of reading a damned cool comic book? ::shakes head:: Speaking of smut, no work got done on the Babylonian!Rogue fic, but, sigh, there's now a bit of plot development. My books have shipped from Amazon, which means I should have them by Wednesday of next week, and Min mentioned she might be able to get me some information, so I'm good to go there. Meg asked me what this whole whore fascination is, and I have to direct her over here to read the entries on it. I don't feel like looking up all the links right now, but there are a couple of entries on it, both here and in the LJ. I mean, I freaking discussed it with the shrink, so I'm thinking it says something about my take on relationships that I keep coming back to it in my fiction. Gah, I started this entry at 10:01 and I'm still rambling and it's 10:45. Must shut up. Or at least move over to LJ to continue. *g* I was going to call this entry, "Sleep pretty darling, do not cry" but I used that already when George Harrison died. So, another line from "Golden Slumbers" to memorialize Morpheus-as-he-was... ~victoria *sniff* [current mood: melancholy] [current music: Golden Slumbers - The Beatles] [random quote: Good night, sweet prince.] ~*~ 2002-05-02 - 2:19 p.m. Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia Okay, can I just say I've been to the bookstore, and I am highly offended on behalf of the Babylonians and Sumerians. One damn book for the both of 'em, classed under Mesopotamia. The Etruscans had more books! The freaking nobody-remembers-them-Hittites have more books! Good lord, even the Goths [visi *and* ostro] have more books devoted to them. So I am reduced to "Ancient Mesopotamia" which I wouldn't have even bought if I could have opened it up and looked at the contents, because it really doesn't seem to have the kind of information I'm looking for [daily life, the monetary system, the temple prostitutes and religious practices thereof], but it was the *only* book and it was wrapped in plastic. So I've just ordered two books from Amazon. I should just sign a contract selling them my soul and my firstborn. Sigh. Somehow I think my little smutfic is going to mutate into something with a plot, which makes me violently unhappy. Or I'm just distracting myself from writing with reseach, which is also a possibility. Here's excerpts from an invocation to Inanna: For it is She, Inanna, whom we worship Worship in our great temples that we erected for Her, our Goddess... where we can worship Her thru drumming, dancing and singing For it is in these temples that we ritually seek to become 1 with our Great Goddess Inanna and it is... With flour, that is ground from Her body, that we shall make sacred cakes for Her, that will be placed at Her altar in this temple of Hers As it is She that the 4 elements unfold out of - Air, Fire, Earth, Water and... it is She who contains all knowledge Including the divine knowledge of music that She transmitted to us humans Thru Her priestesses who divined down this knowledge from Her divine realms above into the human realms below [...] For it is Inanna Inanna who is the instigator of creation, the Goddess who manifested in us sexual desire and union It is She who "caused the created to reproduce" and whose planet is Venus and... It is She who is our lovely evening star who shines brightly in the night's sky For it is She, Inanna, who maintains the world's order The world's order that is birthed out of holy union Holy union of Inanna and Dumuzi The Holy union that on New Year's day, is celebrated as hieros gamos The celebration of their sexual union The holy union of Inanna and Dumuzi Dumuzi, who is Her consort Dumuzi, who is the God of vegetation Dumuzi, He who surely pleases Her but before consummation She praises him... He caressed my loins with His fair hands He poured milk and cream onto Me He stroked My pubic hair He irrigated My womb He lay His hands upon My holy vulva He nourished My black boat with His cream He ripened My narrow boat with His milk He caressed Me on the bed Now I'll caress Him on the bed Then I'll make love to my faithful Dumuzi For it is their sexual union that will make the world live again For their union will ensure abundance and plenty for all for the year to come and... The rest of the years to come that will cycle around Cycle around the power of the Great Goddess Inanna As she enters and exits the 7 gates of her descent and ascent That takes her from the underworld of deprivation and then back up to her rightly place as Queen of Heaven I'm not sure which site I copied this from, but it gives me more information about her and the worship of her than anything else so far. At least I've got them talking now. Logan and Rogue, I mean. And did you know Mari was a city in Assyria, or, I suppose I should call it Babylonia? On the Euphrates River. Where we sat down and wept... Oops, wrong story. *g* So yeah, Mari was a town. I wonder if she could be from there, and that's why they call her that? Hmm... ~victoria pondering [current mood: distracted] [current music: Every Little Thing He Does (Is Magic) - Shawn Colvin] [random quote: "He's becoming a huge pile of ash! This is like tanning gone horribly wrong." From Omar's review of Reaper] ~*~ 2002-05-02 - 10:25 a.m. Ozymandias and Underwood Minisinoo's latest entry about her mother's old typewriter got me thinking. I, too, have an antique typewriter -- my dad's ancient Underwood [yes, the kind you see in 1930s and '40s newspaper movies], on which I learned to type. I don't know if I've mentioned it before. I probably have. I repeat myself endlessly. It's one of the prerogatives of storytellers [see the entry Drunkfest and oral history for my take on how we make stories from our memories, and how they grow and change and take on a life of their own the more they're told and embellished, until we've all got our own set of folktales. The only real difference is that our communities are so fragmented, that there are few *communal* folktales, and I think that urban legends have taken their place, at least in industrialized, internet-ready areas)]. Anyhow, it's out at the parents' house. Along with a small desk my grandfather made, which my sister is going to refinish for me [remember, Marg=Martha Stewart *g*]. So eventually, if I ever move, I'm going to have a place for this typewriter to sit, enshrined, as a remembrance of many, many childhood hours spent creating my own worlds, including languages and maps, while sitting at a desk in the dining room. And also a bit of my grandfather, since I didn't get any of the other furniture. I still recall the feel of the keys [and you had to hit them really hard to get anywhere], and the sound of the bell, and then having to shove the carriage over, because there was no such thing as automatic carriage returns. At lunch yesterday, we were talking about how the past hundred years have seen cataclysmic changes in the world. We were listing the basic inventions that weren't around 100 years ago, and how they led to the other things we take for granted today. I mean, electricity. Think now. Think about everything you have that runs on electricity. Take all of it away. What are you left with? Not frigging much, eh? The whole world as we know it today couldn't exist without electricity. When I start thinking about it, it just blows my mind. I mean, my *parents* can remember the ice man delivering ice for the ice box, and the coal man delivering coal for the furnace. Guys driving *horse-drawn wagons* in some cases. And this is in the late '30s-early '40s. So it always makes me laugh when people envisage the world staying pretty much the same three hundred years in the future. Life will be unrecognizable to us, one way or another. Do you think Romans would have understood the Renaissance? Or a veteran of the Napoleonic wars would be comfortable today? So what makes us think that things aren't going to change just as much, if not *more* in the future - everything changes - the language, the clothing, the transportation, the mores, the power structure... 230 years ago, there was no such thing as a monarch-free, democratically-elected government. 230 years is nothing, a mere bagatelle in the history of human civilization, which is a drop in the bucket of the earth's history. Sometimes I think it's good to pull back and put things into perspective. The dinosaurs walked the earth for millions of years. And where are they today? The same will happen with us. "Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair." ~victoria [current mood: thoughtful] [current music: Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel] [random quote: "No one gets a lifetime rehearsal / as specks of dust, we're universal"] ~*~ 2002-05-01 - 11:09 p.m. Enemies, Foreign and Domestic ...spoilery musings I wanted to link to the watch I want [the outrageously expensive and completely unnecessary watch I want], but Movado apparently is way behind the times [ahem], and has no merchandise on its site as of yet. Still reading The Golden One. really enjoyed the method of Ramses' escape. *g* I won't say more, in case any of you are interested in reading it. I still need to get my copy of Deeds of the Disturber back from Leslie. I know I'm going to end up buying a new one, and she'll end up with my copy and her copy. Grrr... But it's important to read that one, because I read it *after* I read Falcon and well, I didn't know. I mean, I knew about Percy, but I didn't know, ya know? And I won't go into Falcon again. Suffice it to say, I read a certain section of that book over and over again, hoping (quite ludicrously), that somehow, what happened would have changed, that Nefret couldn't have been so stupid. I really, really felt for Ramses. All that is just a matter of spoiler space for tonight's West Wing episode. Ah, now *this* is what a good television show does. It keeps me interested in the characters. It makes me wonder how they're going to resolve the week's dilemma. I loved talkative!Toby. He was so sweet and funny and ... non-cranky. We need more of this Toby. Not a huge amount more, but occasionally, he needs to come out and play. Scuba-diving. Hee! I loved the whole storyline with Charlie and the letter. I loved the not-so-heavy-handedness that the guy who'd written the letter was black, and his son was a doctor, and there's Charlie, the President's aide. Not only was the photographer black, she was also a woman. Nicely done. I loved that Sam got to be the one who solved the problem, or at least present the solution to POTUS. I loved that he was right. Sam is just so... hmm... so sweet and idealistic, and yet... and yet... he's *good* at what he does. He can play the game, and yet he rises above it. I totally see why Jed told him he'd make a wonderful President someday. With Josh as the "man behind the man" to quote Pete Ross. *g* The CJ storyline... BW nicely underplayed the whole, "I take death threats seriously" scene. I was slightly disappointed in Jed, though. He's like, "I got shot." Yeah, okay, he did. But Josh almost died. May is never a good month for these people. I think they should just make April and June each 15 days longer. *g* They're the gov'ment. They can do it. *g* Anyhow, I'm not sure how I feel about Mark Harmon yet. But the guy having the pictures? Seriously freaky. I wonder who it's going to be... The guy from Galileo? The one who didn't get the job? That could be interesting. Can't wait 'til next week. Whee! Gonna hit LJ and then try to write. If I owe you email or something, I'm getting to it. I really am. Oh, and congrats to all the zenites who won awards in their Trek awards thingy. If you have something to say... ~victoria [current mood: hyper] [current music: Thunder Road - Bruce] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-05-01 - 2:44 p.m. "maleficent diary" - hee! Bwahahahaha! I had to edit this to add this new search - "Hasselhoff sex story." Again, it's the Germans. I blame Beth. Oh yes. It's her fault. *nods* And Neil Gaiman, for announcing that there was, in fact, Knight Rider slash out there. I think I'm scarred for life now. My favorite searches for today: "Maleficent diary," "Intelligent blowjob diary" and "long swift sword x-rated." Plus, what is it with the Germans and their Boromir fanfic obsession? There is NO BOROMIR FANFIC HERE. NONE. Nada. Niente. Nien. Keine. However you spell it in German. Of course, this entry guarantees more hits on that search. I just feel really bad that these people are clicking and not getting what they clicked for. So, mi molto dispiace on the lack of Boromir fic. Also got a couple of intelligent, interesting searches, like "forgiveness in popular culture television Buffy." Plus, someone looking for "Michael Rosenbaum naked pics." Sheesh. Do you think if I had nekkid! oiled! supine! MR pics I'd be sharing them with you lot? I'd be keeping them for my very own Lexshrine. *eg* Lunch with the lads went well. Veal scalloppine and lemon sorbet outside in the lovely May sunshine. What more could a girl ask for? Well, a full night's sleep and the focus to write, but hey, I'm reading so I'm not complaining about not-writing *too* much. As you can see, reading gives me fic ideas [whores of Babylon. I may have to use that as the title. Unless I come up with something better]. So we should all be happy. And L/R in ancient Babylon... what's not to love about that? Thanks to Rex for the link; it's led me to some interesting sites. Oh yes. I'm thinking this might be light on plot and heavy on smut and ambiance. That's what I need. Something light on plot, as everything else I've got in the works is plotted and grrr... I hate plot. I suck at plot. I suck at action, as well, but at least there I can finagle a little and gloss over stuff ["they traded blows, equally matched in skill, until Sabretooth slipped in a puddle of his own blood and Logan moved in for the kill"], whereas I can't just gloss over the plot, you know? [and then Marie decided she didn't want to serve Inanna anymore, so she ran away with Logan and the temple guards chased them, but they made it safely to Nineveh [or somewhere that's else]" - not exactly the same thing, eh?]. Oh well. I forgot to mention it earlier, but there's other stuff up in the LJ about backstory and the writing process - mostly me rambling in response to something Lori wrote. Go there to comment, if you like. And I'm sorry the links were bad in that entry. I've now fixed them. Grrr.... I shouldn't try to do links while I'm being interrupted. I lose my place and train of thought way too easily. Eventually, I'll start using these three new optional fields d'land is offering. But I don't feel like fooling around with the template right now. ~victoria [current mood: chatty] [current music: With or Without You - U2] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 2002-05-01 - 10:18 a.m. On the lameness of Angel I am the Mighty Bug Killer, swatting annoying gnats out of mid-air with my bare hands. All insect life shall look on me and despair! *** The lovely Cantinera asked me to clarify my explanation of "The Price" as lame. So... more spoilers. Turn back now if you don't want to know about what happened on Angel Monday night. This is your last chance... Where to start? Let's start with Cordelia's hair, which I'm still not loving, and move on from there. The way they're all acting like Wesley never meant anything to them and they're right and he was wrong. When in fact, he was not wrong. He did the best he could with the information he had. And having Groo overhear the whole "Angel is my priority" conversation was just... a boring use of a hoary storytelling convention. And Cordelia turning into a bug zapper? WTF? Okay, yes, we know she's part demon now, but the slug just happens to trigger her demonic nature into destroying all of them? Huh? And she allowed herself to become part demon for *Angel*? Okay, yes, Cordelia has always needed to personalize their mission, but she's the one, at the end of "Shanshu" who's talking about all the people that need helping. She's the one who tried to get Angel to focus on the mission last season when he was all het up for revenge after what happened to Darla. So now it's all just about Angel? Bah. Feh. Cordelia of *all* people should understand what Wesley did. Which was stunningly in character for Wesley, btw - the whole kidnapping Connor thing. I mean, look at him way back in "Choices" -- he was right not to want to trade the box of Gavrok for Willow. He was right last season in Pylea when he sent good men to their deaths, out of necessity. And Cordelia is the only one of them all who's experienced Angelus. There's no way in HELL that I believe she'd take Angel's side and cut Wesley off like that. It's just... not Cordelia. And Gunn and Fred... hypocrites much? The whole thing just grated on me. And the guy who plays Gavin Park is a lousy actor. He's so wooden he makes DB look like Kevin Spacey. For a really good analysis of this arc, go read Melymbrosia. She hits all the topics I've been thinking about, except on the Cordelia->Angel thing. I don't see Cordy crushing on Angel, though I do see the reverse (and love it. I've been waiting for that unrequited thing to happen since S1) *** As far as last night's SV episode - yes, I get it. Lex. Naked. Oiled. Supine. Doesn't make up for the serious lamitiude of the episode. God, I really am a curmudgeon. ~victoria [current mood: cranky] [current music: Red Red Wine - UB40, in my head for some reason] [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. 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