a fool's musings

Boreas by Waterhouse
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content

achromatic

unfinished fic graveyard

recs journal

new stuff

recent stuff

my back pages
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001


the five Ws, or, all about me

profile

e-mail victoria

my livejournal

the original P&R

comments

current mood: current mood

"pathological and unbalanced"

Items of Interest

    Music
  • Walk On - U2
  • Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
  • If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar
  • Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
  • Town Called Malice - The Jam
  • One - U2
  • The Space Between - DMB
    Books
  • Lord of the Rings
  • Catch-22
  • The Neely Trilogy
  • Absalom! Absalom!
  • Possession: A Romance
  • Foucault's Pendulum
  • Dreamhouse
  • LA Confidential
  • I Capture the Castle
  • Sandman
  • Waking the Moon

    Shows
  • Angel

    •
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns)

    •
  • Alias

    •
  • West Wing

    •
  • The Simpsons

    •

webrings
< ? fanfiction ! >
< ? writers ! >

diaryreviews.diaryland.com

NYC Bloggers

Comments by Haloscan.com

all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

2002-06-04 - 11:15 p.m.

debonair

Tonight's inspirational lyrics:

Debonair
The Afghan Whigs
Hear me now and don't forget
I'm not the man my actions would suggest
A little boy, I'm tied to you
I fell apart
That's what I always do
This ain't about regret
My conscience can't be found
This time I won't repent
Somebody's going down
Feel it now and don't resist
This time the anger's better than the kiss
I must admit when so inclined
I tend to lose it than confront my mind
'Cause it don't bleed and it don't breathe
It's locked its jaws and now it's swallowing
It's in our heart
It's in our head
It's in our love
Baby it's in our bed
Tonight I go to hell
For what I've done to you
This ain't about regret
It's when I tell the truth
And once again the monster speaks
Reveals his face and searches for release
A little boy is tied to you
Attracted only 'til it comes unglued

As to what they've inspired, well, it's not written yet, but I'm thinking it could be soon.

And it could be CLexy. *g*

~victoria

PS: Greg Dulli is god!



[current mood: inspired]
[current music: Debonair - Afghan Whigs]
[random quote: feel it now and don't resist / this time the anger's better than the kiss]

~*~

2002-06-04 - 12:16 p.m.

read at your own risk

Oh, so much to do and say...

On the writing front:

Editing the Cruciato fic, because well, it's been sitting around since December, and I really feel the need to finish it, though I have no idea what's going to happen and I've been so Jossed already.

Then there's Caliper, which should be all about Logan learning about stuff, but I can't think of a way to make it non-heavy-handed with the preachiness. And so that keeps getting stalled. I keep thinking, "The measure of a man..." but I can't complete the quote, so if anyone knows what I'm thinking of *g*, email me.

I opened Consumption, added a line of dialogue, and then closed it again, though I think at some point I knew what the hell I was doing there, I can't remember what it was.

See, I usually make myself little parenthetical notes about what comes next, even if I don't write the scene at that moment, but somehow, my usual system failed in this case.

So a couple things I'm mulling:

1. the Hank-Jean conversation

2. the Scott-Jean conversation

3. a Hank-Logan conversation, but

3a. How long is Logan out after the whole SoL-analogue incident?

4. Scott's story has to be filled in somewhat before we get to

5. the blowjob scene, which is still hanging on "You're not a whore"

Sigh.

Then there's coma-Scott, and now I was listening to Thunder Road this morning, and you know, All the Promises Will Be Broken may not be the happiest thing ever, but I like the writing, even if neither Logan nor Rogue is likable. I can't help it if they turn into regular people with petty, nasty flaws and have the habit of putting up walls and withdrawing after the world disappoints them one too many times, can I?

So I think that could possibly be finished off. And really, Mary isn't exactly a charmer, is she, turning down all those boys with the ghosts in their eyes? So...

Then there's psychokiller, and also amnesiac!Rogue, and, sigh, the sequel to Blood Wedding. which Comfort Me With Apples could have been, had I been thinking along those lines, but it's not, so...

I have too many fics that have plots and stories. I long for the days of the plotless character ramble, or the 1000 word story that wrote itself in an hour.

Sigh.

I'm just whiny today.

~*~

In other news, Andraste writes about why certain things in ficiton make her uncomfortable, and why certain topics are best handled by better writers etc.

She's mainly talking about things like non-con and rape and delicate subjects like that.

In her comments section I wrote:
Aside from the whole, "why we write what we write" thing, and the "enjoying things in fiction I can't condone in real life" (come on, who doesn't think Warren deserved what he got, even if Willow was wrong to give it to him?), the whole non-con issue is... disturbing to me, especially considering how many *women* write such scenarios, and end with the female protagonist in love with her rapist, or having the rape be the catalyst for the romantic relationship between the author's OTP. Especially in slash, I think the impact that rape has on men is very often glossed over or forgotten, and the very real problems it presents are ignored in order to get the characters in bed for a healing shag.

There are other forms of non-con that bother me, and, it's not the idea of non-consensual sex, it's not even the idea that some people might enjoy being pushed or coerced or whatever.

It's that the authors blatantly *ignore* the consequences of such actions on the relationship. Your lover betrays your trust by forcing you to do something you don't want to do and in fact have said no to.

There's definitely a story in that, but it's not a happy one, and all too often I see fic that makes it all happy happy that the author's OTP has gotten together, regardless of how unhealthy the relationship is.

In fact, I see this *a lot* in L/R, and it's somewhat present in CLex too, though when I see stories that tend in that direction, I just hit delete in Smallville.

But in L/R - yeah, it definitely disturbs me that people can write this stuff and present it as a *good thing* that Logan treats Rogue this way, or that this is the basis for a healthy and loving relationship between them.

I think a lot of that is way out of character for Logan, first off, because he's loyal. I don't care what we don't know about him in the movie - he made a promise and he almost gave his life in trying to keep it.

To me, that says he's loyal and he's honorable, and he's not going to force a person, male or female, into something they don't want, sexually, nor is he the type to say one thing and do another. I'm not talking about tactics with enemies and feints and decoys. I'm talking about personal relationships. I don't think he's had many, in the movieverse, and when he does, I tend to think he's a straightshooter, not a manipulator, so he's not going to pull this shit.

And whoa, that was a bit of a rant, and I'm more annoyed about work things than fic things, so I'll stop with that.

Anyhow, like I said, and like Andraste said, sure, tackle heavy topics. They can make for amazing stories, if well-handled.

Don't bring up a charged subject like rape and then drop it as though it were nothing more than a means to get your OTP together. That's doing the characters and the readers a disservice, not to mention yourself as a writer.

If you (generic you) can't see the inherent problems in rapefic, and why it should be approached with care, then perhaps you should rethink writing one. *shrug*

I'm not going to tell anyone what to write or not to write, but I do know that I won't read most rapefic for exactly these reasons, and there have been quite a few storeis I've walked away from highly disturbed and not in the good Te-way, where I'm squirming because the story is disturbing and scarily possible and she makes it *work* or I find myself aroused or in sympathy with someone or something loathesome, but because the author has comlpetely *ignored* the issues she's raised by having something like rape or incest or some other highly sensitive and traumatic experience happen to a character, and then brushes it off.

There are other, lesser betrayals that disturb me as well, when the implications of them aren't addressed, or are treated as non-issues.

It just makes me wonder what the hell the author is thinking, and if she really *doesn't* see the problems created in the scenario as she lays it down.

Look, disturbing isn't my thing. I don't do dark or angst or envelope-pushing.

I read it sometimes - in my original fiction tastes, I love dark, dark noir novels where this shit happens, but the author *always* deals with the fallout.

As to why we write what we write, well, that's a whole different topic, and I know I wear my communication and self-esteem issues on my sleeve when I write, as well as my fear of failure and my need to be perfect. I think that sentence explains 90% of the stories I've written in one way or another, and possibly also why I so adore the ships I adore.

God, I'm just so tired. I don't even know if I'm making sense.

~victoria

link

[current mood: tired, annoyed]
[current music: While My Guitar Gently Weeps]
[random quote: Feel it now and don't resist / This time the anger's better than the kiss]

~*~

2002-06-04 - 1:26 a.m.

technology hates me

Grrr.... technology

~victoria
annoyed

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-06-03 - 2:24 p.m.

Reason #248 why I am a dumbass

I updated the site last night, adding Childish Things.

When I htmlize, I typically start out in NoteTab Lite, do "Modify Document -> html w/ paragraph tags" and then paste the results into Dreamweaver (so I can see what it looks like, of course), into another story that's already been formatted, and do Save As with the new file name. Actually, I typically do the Save As part first, for obvious reasons.

So I did that last night, after I had to repair my inbox, because Outlook went all wonky, and

and

I forgot to change the title of the fic on the page.

I changed the title tag. I changed the link, I renamed the file.

But I left Comfort Me With Apples at the top instead of changing it to Childish Things.

And I missed it when I looked at it.

Of course, it was almost 2 am at the time.

But still... how embarrassing.

And I don't have FTP capabilities here at work, so I can't fix it 'til I get home.

I probably shouldn't share this little anecdote, but not only am I a dumbass, I don't mind *telling* people I'm a dumbass.

I have no shame.

In other news, in looking over the chronology, I seem to be back to a fic a week, almost, which was my average last year at this time, so I guess I'm not completely fallow, I just needed a bit of a rest. *g*

'Cause for a while there, back in January/February, I was afraid I was all dried up as a writer.

~cordelia...er, victoria. *g*

[current mood: abashed]
[current music: Ticket to Ride - the Beatles]
[random quote: Xander: You have no shame. Cordelia: Oh, please. Like shame is something to be proud of. ~BtVS]

~*~

2002-06-03 - 12:12 p.m.

Gaiman on writing

This is why Neil Gaiman has rapidly made room for himself in my pantheon of Writing Gods:

From the FAQ on his blog:

The question is basically:
How do you know what to write when? i.e. how do you make the determination that _now_ there needs to be some description of a car interior or a muddy road, and _now_ the character needs to reflect for a moment? [...] I wonder if you might be willing to share how the process works for you. Does it simply come naturally as you write? Do you (or perhaps an editor) later re-read a section and decide it needs more physical description, or more character introspection?[...]

The Answer:
Friday, May 24, 2002
The most accurate answer for me I can give is probably going to be deeply unsatisfactory: you write a lot, you tell a lot of stories, and by the time you're doing it for real you don't stop and think about when you need to describe the road or the car or the way the light catches a cat's whiskers - you do it when you need to do it, in the same way an experienced jazz sax player knows how and when to take a solo, or a glassblower knows when to lay off blowing and to start to twist. There may have been a lot of awful sounds and a lot of broken glass made over the years, but by the time they are doing it professionally it's second nature.

I would say that one of the easiest ways to write fiction is to imagine a character you are interested in and care about, and then put him or her in a situation you are interested in, and describe what happens. Try to see it in your head, then, as you write it down, leave out the bits that aren't important and write down all the things that are.

The best way to learn how and when to use the various tools of short-story writing is to write stories that allow or prevent you from using some of them. You can try it different ways:

Can you write a story that's just dialogue, with no description at all?

Can you write a story that's all description, with no dialogue or action, but is still a story, taking someone from somewhere to somewhere else?

Can you write a story that's a set of answers to a questionnaire? Or to an exam paper? Or one that consists only of a police report? Or that's a phrase-book of useful phrases for foreign tourists?

("In the Police Cells:" "Krasnei Blatvon."

"But I don't want to be tortured." "Ni mi cruoshnart."

"Torture my wife, not me." "La Ursata Cruosh cruosh."

"I demand to see the American Ambassador." "Mi ocsar Americashe czarte"

"I will be just as happy with only eight fingers." "Mi tralala digzy octler"

"I am pleased to have been treated so kindly and will certainly sign a paper to that effect" "Ya, gedansche, scribor! Blatver nim ostral."

"Perhaps you are right. My wife must have stayed in Paris and did not come to your lovely country." "Ya, Ursata di Parische mi Vergesst."

"It was nice to meet you." "Norni Blarn.")

{Vic here: See! What'd I tell you? Read, dammit. Read *a lot*.}

Read. Read lots. Steal styles. Can you write a Damon Runyan short story, all in the present tense, like a story that is being told by one guy to another at maybe the dog-track or a saloon? Try it.

Can you write a Raymond Chandler short story, in which a metaphor lurks in every paragraph like a black widow spider on a slice of wedding cake? Try it.

A first person narrative ("I walked down the road, singing a little song and wondering if anyone would notice the dried blood under my fingernails,") is going to do different things to a third person narrative ("Jack was humming something under his breath as he walked, humming a song he'd heard in a bar about a girl and a wound that never healed. He checked his nails, looking for dried blood, as if he was unaware that his face was spattered with flecks of scarlet, some of them already drying to brown,"). Sometimes you want one, sometimes the other, sometimes something else. Try it each way.

There's no magic formula. To become a competent writer, you write until you start to sound like you, and then you keep on writing. Finish things you start. Get better.

For me, the second draft of a short story mostly tends not to be about "should I insert description/character/Landscape here?" but about theme. Does every word add to whatever it is I'm trying to do? To what was I trying to say? Can I push it closer to that? Does each sentence actually say what it was meant to say? In the first draft, I'll head off into the fog with only an idea of where I'm going. In the second draft, I'll try and make it look like I knew where I was going all along.

There. I hope that helps.

On the other side of the coin (there are no one-sided coins, to paraphrase Mr. Gaiman *g*), here's an article that I think totally misses the point of fanfic, in more ways than one:

Putting It On the Fridge: Thoughts on the Problem of 'Criticism' in Fanfiction.

I don't disagree that criticism should be taken with a grain of salt, and that it should never be cruel, but I don't think its aim is to "maim and kill the creative urge," but rather to nurture it and help it grow.

I'm no gardener, but I know sometimes you have to prune your trees in order to keep them healthy and let them grow.

Think of good solid crit in the same way. If it's well-intentioned, even if you don't agree with all of it, think it over. Don't just dismiss it out of hand as being by someone who's trying to silence you or who is jealous. If you have talent, you can only enhance it by trying to improve. Spurning people who try to help you is just as bad as offering false help or being mean to someone who is genuinely in need of it.

If you want help to make it better -- and I certainly applaud that -- then find a beta reader who is compatible, compassionate, sympathetic, understanding -- and puts it on the fridge. And make thaat the only person whose opinions you are willing to listen to.

Again, I think this is reductive, and very dangerous to the new writer. There are lots of people out there who can help a beginning writer, if only the beginning writer is open to the idea that they might need help, and help is to be had.

It is not a matter of 'right' or 'wrong' according to somebody else's standards, often quite arbitrary, only a matter of what works, of what 'feels right'.

However, as we recently discussed on the unfit list, if you don't know the rules, breaking them is less a matter of stylistic impact than just plain *bad writing.*

And while nobody ever died from bad writing, and there's been bad writing around since the first caveman picked up a charred stick and began drawing on the walls to tell a story, there's no reason it has to *stay* bad, unless one willfully refuses to try to improve.

Eh, I'm fairly sure I'm not going to change anybody's mind on this, but you know, expert opinions and all that. *G*

~victoria

link

[current mood: tired]
[current music: Maxwell's Silver Hammer - the Beatles]
[random quote: I'm an extraordinary bitching pain in the ass. ~Beau Felton, H:LotS]

~*~

2002-06-03 - 12:45 a.m.

the promised update

Updated The Muse's Fool tonight, adding the Obi-Wan fic, also known as Childish Things.

~victoria

[current mood: sleepy yet accomplished]
[current music: Three Little Birds - Bob Marley]
[random quote: every little thing is gonna be all right]

~*~

2002-06-02 - 10:59 p.m.

kidlit and Childish Things

Heh. My mom just called me out into the living room to see Hugh Jackman present at the Tonys (or is it Tonies?).

She knows I nub him.

He's got the full beard going, which gives me hope that they're actually, you know, *starting* filming of X2 at some point soon. I heard June, but who knows now?

I posted Childish Things, and I was afraid it would be met with resounding silence, but I already got one feedback for it.

Whee!

Thanks to the amazingly lovely Liz Barr.

I think many of us have problems reconciling the "Jedi Way" with the way the world is, and I know I just couldn't get this scene out of my head, which is why I wrote the fic, because you know at some point or another, most of those Jedi have had to have been in love.

Now I'm htmlizing, so it should be up on the site soon, for those of you interested in reading it.

I ate some chocoloate pudding a little earlier, which is giving me a nice endorphin rush, and I just ordered the whole set of Joan Aiken books from Amazon - I didn't realize they were back in print, which makes me squeal with glee.

Black Hearts in Battersea, The Wolves of Willoughby Chase, Nightbirds on Nantucket - I loved these books as a kid, and I'm sure I'll love them still.

I can't wait for them to arrive now.

Also, I bought Alyssa the first four Lemony Snicket books for her birthday, and I started reading the first one... I might have to pick those up for myself as well.

My favorite all-time kids book, even more than From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and James and the Giant Peach, is The Teddy Bear Habit by James Lincoln Collier. I highly recommend you get your hands on it. It's hilarious, it's fun, it's got adventures and jewel thieves and Beatles rip offs [it takes place in 1960s NY].

Great stuff.

I love rereading favorite childhood books. I keep meaning to sit down with the Avonlea books and not getting to it, as well as the L'Engle books I loved so much.

Also, on the kidlit tip - I Capture the Castle. Can't recommend it highly enough. I read it as an adult, though it's really aimed at young teen girls, and it's fantastic. The writing is beautiful.

Ah... books...

~victoria

link

[current mood: okay]
[current music: The Cowman and the Farmer Should Be Friends - in my head after hearing it on the Tonys]
[random quote: Never have I once looked back to sigh over a romance behind me Many a new day will dawn before I do]

~*~

2002-06-02 - 6:05 p.m.

shattered

Big excitement today:

Gust of wind took the umbrella off the table on the patio, and shattered the glass table top completely.

Thank god none of us were out there when it happened.

Mommy and I had to rescue the umbrella - it was stuck between the fence and the neighbor's shed.

It's an otherwise beautiful day. I can't believe this happened. When Daddy got home, he looked so defeated. I know he blames himself, because he was told to put the umbrella down when it's windy, but who expected that kind of wind?

$300 down the tubes, 'cause I don't think he can get a replacement table.

I felt so bad for him, when he saw it.

My dad's got the kind of luck that, well, if he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all, you know? He's like Charlie Brown. And it kills me to see it.

I really shouldn't say that.

He has fabulous luck. He survived the bombing in '93 and 9/11.

But in regular, everyday stuff, he has lousy luck. He buys something, guaranteed he'll get the only one that's broken, that doesn't work. And he'll have to take it back to the store and go through the rigamarole of an exchange.

In the grand scheme of things, a $300 table isn't really that big, especially since so far everything else with the new house has worked out, they're happy etc.

But you can see why I'm always braced for the worst, where my Eeyore attitude comes from, no?

~*~

On the fannish tip, Jenn wrote, in response to the discussion about the lack of XMM fic lately:
Movieverse is insular as all hell. It's understandable, but there it is. More than Smallville, more than Trek, more than ANYPLACE I've seen,

I'm not sure I agree with this. Hmm...

It's hard to explain, because I don't know if my experience is typical or not.

I was never in any clique [they do exist, if by clique you mean just a group of people who hang out more with each other than with the world -or the list - at large].

I didn't become close with more than one or two people until after the fandom sundered. So I'm not sure I buy the insularity claim. I mean, I think there are probably certain areas of Buffy fandom that are incredible insular.

So I don't really know.

Very VERY few movieverse writers write outside that fandom or do more than cross into comicdom X-Men. There's exceptions.

Again, I think this needs to be more specific. I'd say very few Logan/Rogue writers write outside the XMM fandom, and really, hardly any of us write outside that pairing. There may be secondary pairings [I'm quite fond of Jean/Scott and Ororo/Remy as background players or foils for Logan/Rogue], but I can probably name most of the writers who do more than L/R [and most of them have moved on from L/R into those new (or back to the old) fandoms.

The thing is, I get the impression from many L/R writers/readers, that they don't even *read* fic in other fandoms, which you know, hey, I understand the power of obsession, but I've found my skills and my approach to writing have been influenced by my interaction *as a reader*, with people in West Wing and Homicide fandom, as well as Buffy. I've found insights into the characters I like writing through reading other people's stories about other characters.

So yeah, I think that limiting yourself to L/R only or even XMM only isn't good for writers who want to improve.

Reading widely is the number one piece of advice everyone I've ever spoken to or read on writing has given me.

That includes other fanfic - and good quality fanfic, not the dreck that litters FF.net in such overwhelming quantities, in all fandoms.

Reading good writing leads to writing good writing, eventually.

My inspirational level is the same as it ever was. But. I'm a seriously reactive writer, as many other writers will tell you they are as well. As much as anything else, I need the community to keep me from stagnation, to push and challenge me, to inspire, and to basically tell me, wow, jenn, that idea seriously sucks, but in nicer terms. [...]

Without the give and take of a comfortable fandom, something gets lost in translation. I don't want to rewrite the same five or six stories over and over again--that's boring, it's not challenging, and it really is a paint-by-numbers sort of thing. By no means has everything been done in any fandom--there is ALWAYS a new field to explore, new landscapes to turn upside down, new ways to destro--heh, I mean, challenge the characters. But without the pressure, the support, the challenge of other writers, it's not the same thing at all. Fandom, for me, is about relationships between writers as well as stories.

this is interesting.

Because yes, I am a reactive writer. I read something, it sparks something else in my head, and I'm off and running.

Even small things -- Khaki used the idea that Logan wouldn't be able to go back to cage fighting after the incident in the movie where he unsheathes his claws at the bar in Laughlin City. I couldn't even remember where I'd seen that, but it *worked* as a throwaway detail in "Comfort Me With Apples," explained why he was doing collection work instead of cage fighting.

So yes, the dearth of fic lately has impacted my productivity, because I'm not getting a constant stream of new ideas and old ideas done in new ways to whet my creative appetite.

However, none of my primary relationships in ficcing have been in XMM. Meg and Pete have written a few XMM fics, but we all know each other from Buffy fandom. And none of us is a big name there, though they all have their followings (Jen too).

In XMM, yes, having Jenn push me and Beth to bitch to has helped, and they're the ones who dragged me into Smallville, a fandom I like, but am there more for the social stuff than I am for the obsession.

Smallville is more about the relationships I have with the writers and other fans than it is about the writing, the reading or the show itself, though I enjoy all of those immensely.

I think, though, that the experience of writing XMM while my betas/friends were writing Buffy and Angel makes it a little easier for me to keep plugging along in XMM without many close friends still in the fandom. I know a lot of the people on the lists I'm on, and I like most of them, but they don't really affect whether I'm writing or not.

My comfort level is probably the same as it's been for a while, since I got comfortable that I didn't totally suck and that people thought I could write. I'm still exceptionally nervous when I post, and I still do the Dance of Joy when I get feedback, but I think I'm going to be one of those people about whom other fans say stuff like, "Oh, her? She's been here forever. Occasionally she writes something and it's good."

Just like I like to think that my name is occasionally invoked on atbvs or ata even though I'm no longer active on either.

My second reason is more personal and is probably the main reason I'm no mail on all my X-Men lists.

Well, there are other things at work in XMM, which, if you've been reading this or any other diary of someone in the L/R niche of the fandom, you've probably garnered some inkling of.

And god, that's a horrible sentence.

But yeah, there are other reasons why people have left. I'm just harder to get rid off. I've also not been subject to certain things for as long as Jenn and Beth were.

~*~

Am contemplating Khaki's interpretation of chronology as the opportunity to talk about the creation of my stories, rather than just the straight timeline I did, and while I don't think I'd care to do it for every fic I've written [ye gads - 150. Do you see why I haven't redesigned my site? I can't imagine having to reformat all those stories. I get hives just thinking about it.], there are definitely stories that have stories behind them, and it might be fun [for me if for no one else] to recount those.

I'm thinking about it.

Now, back to Caliper, and more editing on Childish Things, which really, I ought to just post, but I'm askeered. *g* New fandom and all that.

~victoria

link

[current mood: thoughtful]
[current music: Chinese Burn - Curve]
[random quote: She gets what she wants and then walks away And she doesn't give a fuck what you might say]

~*~

2002-06-01 - 9:23 p.m.

contemplating cd mixes

still sick.

coughing makes me feel like the back of my head is going to blow off.

contemplating burning a CD. Have been contemplating this since, oh, Thursday night, but I can't decide what exactly to put on it.

I know I need Hallelujah, Ain't No Sunshine, Time After Time, All You Wanted and Goodbye to You. I've got a little wallet of CDs with me, to figure out what else should go on it. I keep putting the same songs on different CDs, because they're my favorites. I really should start remaking some of my favorite mix tapes. But I'm lazy.

And I didn't bring the Nina Simone or the Fleetwood Mac. Dammit.

In other news, just got home from Alyssa's birthday party a little while ago. Lots of fun. I spent most of the day chasing the baby. Also, got some color, which is always a good thing.

Not on my face, which is the best place, but on my arms and my chest.

I'm very sleepy.

There were other things I wanted to say, but thinking and I are unmixy things right now.

So I'm going to edit the Obi-Wan fic a little and see if I can't bang out some more Caliper, or the bloody knuckles scene of psychokiller fic, which I've had in my head for weeks, but haven't written for some reason...

~victoria

[current mood: sleepy and sick]
[current music: mets-marlins on tv]
[random quote: Revenge is like you taking poison, and hoping the other guy dies. ~ Tim Bayliss, HLotS]

~*~

previous - next

DiaryLand

Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within.

The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.

The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.

This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables