a fool's musings

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Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content

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2002-06-14 - 5:11 p.m.

The Object of His Affections

Gah. Just posted "Object of His Affections."

Having posting anxiety.

Guess I'll htmlize tonight. Doesn't look like the game is going to happen with this weather.

heading out to the 'rents.

see you on the flip side.

~victoria

[current mood: tired]
[current music: Whole Lotta Love - Led Zep]
[random quote: gonna give you every inch of my love...]

~*~

2002-06-14 - 3:57 p.m.

addendum to last entry

As an addendum to my last entry - I know things are different in other countries, in regard to the "c" word.

I remember reading, oh, I think it was Roddy Doyle, and having to totally adjust to the characters tossing it around like I would say "damn" or "shit."

~victoria

[current mood: pedantic]
[current music: Moondance - Van Morrison]
[random quote: \"In my life why do I smile at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?\"]

~*~

2002-06-14 - 2:47 p.m.

on men, women, genitalia and language

Today's been a little busy here at BEMC. Sigh.

Couple good links for you - LaT talks about various things, referring to my comment that "we all see a different show" and how that doesn't mean characterization should be a free-for-all. She also gives a link to a great essay by Mad Poetess about canon and characterization in slash (BtVS mostly) which really should be required for every fic writer in every fandom.

Sample quote:

It's not character assassination if the author presents a valid situation in which these characters, as seen on TV, *would* fall in love, have sex, shove chocolate covered cherries in places where the sun rarely shines. It's not character assassination if, when you read it, the thoughts and words and patterns of behavior make the reader feel that yes, this is Spike I'm reading about. This is Xander. And they're reacting as I believe those characters would, given the plotline the author has developed. Whether it's an AU from the beginning, where we see a version of the characters as they might have been after a totally different history, or whether we start with more or less canon characters, and events occur that bring them together romantically, it's about the skill of the author in making it believable. Nothing is character assassination if the author can make me believe that, in the setting of the story, Spike and Xander would do it.

[...]

So, what is character assassination? Why is that (B) a few paragraphs up, so worrying? Because it's a lazy writer's free pass to remain a lazy writer.

What is character assassination is writing Xander in a way that Xander wouldn't be expected to act in the situation shown -- without providing a good explanation of why.

She then goes to the trouble of actually, you know, providing examples and stuff.

Good reading.

As for me, well, I've been thinking about words.

There are very few words I don't use. I mean, much to my mother's chagrin, I swear like a sailor (though not in her presence) and even when I'm not using profanity, I tend to not be the most diplomatic or tactful person. I'm blunt and I'm frequently vulgar. I've also been accused of sesquipedalianism (meaning, for those of you who don't know, that I like 50 cent words, and I know how to use 'em).

But there are some words I don't use. Though very recently I was angry enough about something that I did. I used the "c" word in reference to someone who, as maybe you can guess, really pisses me the hell off.

I think that was the fourth time in my life that I ever called somebody that (though only once to the person's face, but that was in a bar and I was drunk and she was mean to Jean, and her stupid friend puked on his coat... and I may be conflating two different events. Hmm... Oh hell, I was drunk. Who the hell knows? I just know she was really bitchy to my friend and I snarled at her, "Stupid c---")

See? I can't even type it. I don't like it. I don't know why that is.

I mean, I can totally get behind getting rid of the "n" word and the "k" word and various other racial/ethnic/religious slurs. Words are powerful, and words of hate and bigotry should be left to wither and die on the linguistic vine.

And obviously, I have no problem with other obscenities. Profanities. Vulgarities.

They're not really synonyms, are they?

Vulgar: 5 a : offensive in language : EARTHY b : lewdly or profanely indecent synonym see COMMON, COARSE

OBSCENE: 1 : disgusting to the senses : REPULSIVE 2 a : abhorrent to morality or virtue; specifically : designed to incite to lust or depravity b : containing or being language regarded as taboo in polite usage ::obscene lyrics:: c : repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles ::an obscene misuse of power:: d : so excessive as to be offensive ::obscene wealth:: obscene waste:: : applies to anything strongly repulsive to the sense of decency and propriety especially in sexual matters ::obscene language not allowed on the air::

Profanity : 1 a : the quality or state of being profane b : the use of profane language 2 a : profane language b : an utterance of profane language

Profane : 1 : to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt : DESECRATE 2 : to debase by a wrong, unworthy, or vulgar use

Desecrate : 1 : to violate the sanctity of : PROFANE 2 : to treat disrespectfully, irreverently, or outrageously

Okay, so coarse, debasing language. I get that. I also take the Lord's name in vain in various combinations fairly often, which no doubt upsets some people.

But words - as a writer, it's interesting to me what words carry a negative connotation.

A couple of discussions started me thinking about this - the Femme!Lex debate, and the BNF definition conversation,, as well as my interpretation of Xander and the story I wrote about him post-Grave

While I'm normally not on about the whole gender politics thing, I found myself examining my language use.

"Be a man."

"Xander learns to be a man"

"Lex is not a girly man."

"Wesley shrieked like a woman."

Couple that with the comparative insultingness of calling someone a "bitch", "bastard," "prick," "cocksucker" or "cunt"

The worst insults are always feminine in nature.

Interesting, isn't it?

I know this is nothing new. Whole college courses and seminars are devoted to this shit, and well, I spent a good portion of my college career avoiding those.

So what does it mean to "Be a Man"?

I can only tell you what *I* mean when I say it.

I mean, "Suck it up and deal with what you've got."

Really, if you think about it, it should be "Be a Woman" because god knows, we deal with more shit than most men ever do, from birth to earth.

I remember when I wrote a paper about Light In August in college. I believe my whole theme was "Women Suffer. Women Endure."

(There's a great speech by Jason Compson Sr. in Abaslom! Absalom! about how women live, women suffer and women endure things that would send men barking mad, and when I get home on Monday night I'll see if I can't find it and type it up for youse [sic])

So yeah, to me, "Be a man" or "I'm the man" (which means, "I am the coolest thing since sliced bread." Or "Vini, vidi, vinci" depending on the circumstances *g*) aren't quite gendered, because I use them in reference to myself and other females, though usually with a "so to speak" or "metaphorically speaking" tacked on.

"Be a woman" just doesn't seem to have that pithy quality, and also, well, the crux of the matter is - in general, men don't want to be like women. Calling a man a "woman" or "weak as a woman" (let's forget who is *truly* the stronger sex and rely on 10,000 years of social and biological conditioning) is tantamount to cutting out his heart.

Or, truthfully, cutting off his balls.

Castration anxiety rears its ugly head (no pun intended *g*). Penis envy is definitely something only a man would have come up with.

And yet, to me the nastiest thing I've ever said to anyone - the biggest insult ever (bar one*) is "Lick my left nut" or "suck my dick" - parts which I do not possess.

And I can't quite seem to explain *why* these phrases carry such a heavy insult for me - sure, they can be insulting from men, but it's not the same. It's somehow much worse if a woman says it, worse in the way of being more insulting.

I'm not sure if it's my own subconscious way of trying even the score gender-wise, since most of the worst insults seem to derive from females and female body parts (whore, son of a whore, son of a bitch, bitch, c---, pussy, cocksucker etc.).

Especially as being told, "You have a pair of big brass ones" is a compliment. It's okay to be like a man! Ballsy, take charge, take shit from no one! These are good qualities, right?

As an aside, this is one reason it always throws me out of a story to see a woman refer to her own cunt. Because no woman I know personally does so. At least, not if they're being honest with me when I've asked. I'm also speaking of straight women here; it's possible bi and lesbian women have a different take on the word. So if I see a story where, say, Jean Grey uses the word to refer to herself during sex, I don't believe it. Because she's an upper-class, highly educated woman, and well, it's not a term, as I've said, that most women I know use.

Anyhow, I've come to no conclusions. I don't even know if this ramble makes any sense, as I've been interrupted more times today with various crises. I don't understand why everything always comes to a head on Fridays. That sucks.

*My favorite insult, the one that basically trumps all other insults is, "I wouldn't piss on you, if you were on fire."

**All definitions are copied from Merriam-Webster Online

~victoria

link

[current mood: headachy]
[current music: Call Me - Blondie]
[random quote: \"Don't think 'cause I understand, I care. Don't think 'cause we're talking, we're friends.\"]

~*~

2002-06-13 - 10:28 p.m.

Fandomtwits and How Not to Be One

The new article is up at Easter Egg Vinegar In Your Eye: Fandomtwits and How Not to Be One, which is all about etiquette and netiquette and the Five Golden Rules of Fandom.

Should be required reading for everyone involved in any fandom.

~victoria

[current mood: ]
[current music: ]
[random quote: ]

~*~

2002-06-13 - 5:40 p.m.

Addendum to the slash manifesto

Devil Doll comments on my slash manifesto (scroll down ya lazy bum!), and I'm with her to a point.

I'm a Logan whore, except when he's with Jean. Or Remy. (I just don't buy a lot of the Logan characterization in Logan/Remy fics. He's too... squishy/girly/femme!Logan in the Logan/Remy fics I've read, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.)

I'm a Xander Whore. I'll read Xander with anyone. Lorne? Groo? Gunn? Ethan? Willy the Snitch? Buffy? Willow? Joyce? Dawn?

So there.

(::rolls eyes:: My boss is nattering on about this powerpoint presentation thingy. It's 5:30. It's time to go home. I don't care about it. I want to go home and lie down with a cold compress on my head. Heh. He just bolted out of here. Shit! I forgot to send a fax...

Whew... now if their damned fax machine would pick up... Grr... Technology hates me.)

Anyhow, uh, where was I?

Oh yeah.

Logan. Xander. Lex. Faramir. Obi-Wan. Han Solo.

So there.

But I will admit to being a little more discerning, in that there are certain pairings I won't read. Can't read. Can't stomach.

Lex/Lana? WTF? You're gonna have to work overtime to get me to believe *that* one. Same with Xander/Spike.

But a good author can make it work.

Speaking of Xander?

Fucking AMAZING response to Comfortador, which was completely unexpected and IMMENSELY gratifying.

Now if I could just figure out what story to work on next. And get rid of this headache. And get Pete inserted into the HanLoganverse....

~victoria

link



[current mood: still headachy, even after the Excedrin]
[current music: Proud Mary - CCR]
[random quote: Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis / pumped a lot of pain down in New Orleans / but I never saw the good side of the city / till]

~*~

2002-06-13 - 2:35 p.m.

It's the Characters, Stupid

Various people lately have been trying to determine *why* they read/write/like slash, and maybe why other people do, too.

Go read Fay Jay and Jae Gecko.

For me personally, it's always been less about the political than it has been about 1. The characters, and 2. The characters.

No, that's not a typo.

I ship.

I am a shipper.

I've finally given in and admitted this fact, and basically what it means to me is this:

I follow pairings. I want to see the two characters I love and think have sparkage together.

When I first began reading fanfiction, I was all about the Willow/Xander.

Let me backtrack.

Why I read fanfiction

I read fanfiction for myriad reasons, but mostly it comes down to this:

I fall in love with certain characters and want more of them. Admittedly, at first this takes the form of fantasy, stuff that, if written down, would be the worst sort of Mary Sueing ever. But eventually it evolves from simply "Ooh, he's hot. Me like" into something more like, "Ooh, he's hot. And she's in love with him! He's an idiot! Why can't he see it? Arrggh!"

Which is what leads to the search for fanfic.

Because, even back in S2, I knew Joss Whedon was evol and was never going to give me Willow/Xander the way it was meant to be.

Of course, I was right.

Sneaking around, and ending up with Cordy impaled on a rebar and W/X backing off from even their friendship was not exactly how I wanted that to go, as you might imagine.

So fanfic fills the need that the show can't or won't.

Around the same time, I was fairly active on alt.tv.homicide, and fanfic was subject to much derision by numerous veteran, influential posters there. But one or two fics got recced (Adena 1950 and Shell Casing, if I recall correctly).

So I went and I read and I loved.

And then I found the slash.

The Bayliss/Kellerman slash to be exact.

At first I couldn't quite wrap my head around it. It seemed... wrong. I was uncomfortable.

Basically, I was aroused and was surprised and disconcerted by the idea that two guys together would be able to do that for me.

But they were two guys I loved, guys who *needed* someone or something to hold onto as their world crashed around them. And it made perfect sense that they found that in each other, because *who else* could understand them and let them be themselves like that? Certainly not Frank or Meldrick or Julianna Cox.

(Not to mention that long lingering GAYLE Bayliss gives Kellerman in "Kellerman PI Part 2." *g*)

You can imagine I got over the squick factor pretty quickly.

I noticed subtext.

Fanfiction is all about subtext, for me. It's about what lives in the spaces we don't see, the silences where you wish that someone would just *say something, dammit* even if it's not the right thing (though the right thing would be awesome, you know it never ever gets said in the right circumstances, right?), and the things that take place off screen.

So while some people are big on noromo or casefile or action/adventure stories, ::shrug:: I can get that from the show/movie/comic, really. I mean, yes, I like a good action/adventure story, but I crave the romance.

So, slash.

Subtext. Sparkage.

Bayliss. Kellerman

Xander. Angel.

Giles. Ethan.

Wesley. Gunn.

Angel. Lindsey.

Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan.

Xavier. Magneto.

Logan. Scott.

Clark. Lex.

You see? They have *chemistry* (though I have to say, I can't think of anyone Xander *doesn't* have chemistry with), and you know the story is NEVER EVER GONNA GO THERE.

So I want the boys to be happy. Except for Angel/Xander. I can't imagine them being happy, and not simply 'cause of the curse.

And if what makes the boys happy is another boy, well, that's okay.

Because it's about the *characters*, not their naughty bits.

I feel the same way about Xander/Willow and Logan/Rogue and Josh/Donna and, well, that's really it. I like Cordelia/Angel (before they mucked it up).

So to me, it doesn't matter that it's two boys or two girls or a boy, a girl and a billy goat. If Sparky makes Lex happy, Lex should have Sparky.

However, what makes Lex happy is Clark, just like what makes Josh happy is Donna. Or possibly Sam. (Not Amy. *G*)

So Jae talks about queer issues and FayJay talks about being attracted to slash for some reason she can't quite put a finger on, but for me - and this might be slightly blasphemous to some of you old-school slashers who think the sun rises and sets on slash and that het is for teenyboppers who can't write their way out of a paper bag (yeah, I'm bitter. I copped to it already. Get over it.) - it's got nothing to do with subversion or transgression or queerness or anything but that I love the characters *together*. I want to write about how they got together, and how they get ripped apart. How their love can never be, but is anyway, or, through a series of really maddening and yet perfectly believable circumstances, they never get it together.

And it's hot, if it's two guys (or two girls, though I'm not big on most f/f slash, mainly because I rarely see sparkage between women. Faith/Buffy, Faith/Cordelia, Faith/Lilah (my, Faith is a busy girl *g*), Willow/Tara, Xena/Gabriel and that's about it. Willow->Buffy, or maybe Tara->Buffy (or Dawn->Tara, but I don't think Tara would take advantage) who I *believe* care about each other, or in some way just can't keep away from each other even if they don't love each other or can't quite pinpoint what the hell it is that's going on between them (Scott/Logan and dominance).

Two guys who I don't know from Adam? Or can't recognize as the characters I love?

I'll pass, thanks.

In Jae's comments, marzilla writes
And also liking gen and het has nothing to do with it. Being a fan of slash doesn't mean you can't be a fan of any other kind of fan writing, too, anymore than being a West Wing fan means that you can't also be a L.A. Law fan, or that I can't be a Buffy fan (and gen, even!). That's a fallacy promoted by an obnoxious minority of slashers in some fandoms in reaction to real or perceived ghettoization of slash in their fandom. It has nothing to do with "old" or "new" slash fans, it has to do with people who have their heads up their asses and people who don't.

To which I say, Amen! Preach it, sister.

I've already said I don't get hetsquick, and I don't get the elevation of slash above het. And well, I said it again in FayJay's comments:
There's also a subtle bias against het writing amongst many slash fans - that het writing isn't as good quality, as if somehow the choice of pairing determines the quality of the fic, rather than the actual writing.

And that drives me batshit, as you can imagine.

I don't get it and I don't like it and I'd like someone to give me a rational explanation for it.

I realize that typically, no one is more oppressive than the oppressed once they're in power, but still, the reverse bias against het fic by slashers just makes me crazy.

So yeah, there's my big manifesto on slash.

It's a little less exciting than I thought it'd be.

Feel free to comment.

~victoria

link

[current mood: headachy]
[current music: Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young]
[random quote: Once you're gone, you can never come back when you're out of the blue and into the black]

~*~

2002-06-13 - 12:17 p.m.

Capitulation, plus Han and Logan!

The Continuing Adventures of Han and Logan: Two Gruff Manly Men in Love

Since DD added an absolutely hilarious part this morning, I will also give you the whole thing here.

Tell us what you think.

And before you say it, yes we make our own fun. ;p~

***

You know you've been staring at spreadsheets too long when you see "Capitulation" where it says "Capitalization."

***

Rode up in the elevator with CNG today. He was all in the power suit, which looks good on him, though he looks best in khakis, I think.

I, of course, dressed in the dark this morning, and wound up with a white shirt over a turquoise bra.

Not the smartest dress decision I've ever made. Sigh.

Speaking of bras, of the four I bought yesterday, one is like the Second Coming of bras, and if it didn't cost so damn much money, I'd go buy a dozen of 'em, 2 were decent but nothing to write home about, and 1 - the pink lacy one I had to listen to the saleswoman lecture me on to buy (as if I don't know that it's hard to get pretty colors in full-size bras. Pffft. I'm the one with the boobs, lady, not you, Carpenter's Dream.) sucked.

That's a reversal of the usual ratio, where 1 is decent and three suck, so I'm happy.

Speaking of which, I think I sprayed a little too much Happy this morning, because it nearly knocked me out.

And then there was a freaking cat being smuggled on the subway.

I do not expect to run into my nemeses on the A train, so I don't take benadryl before leaving for work in the morning.

I was all teary eyed and sniffly and I didn't know why until the woman next to me moved and I saw the pet carrier and her little imp of Satan in there.

Grrr...

Oh well, back to my Capitulation spreadsheets...

~victoria

link

[current mood: silly]
[current music: I've Got a Feeling - Pearl Jam]
[random quote: The space between the bullets and the fire fight is where I'll be hiding waiting for you...]

~*~

2002-06-13 - 1:01 a.m.

be my little BNF

First things first:

Updated the site tonight, adding Comfortador, aka, The Xander Fic.

Spent a good portion of the night putting together The Adventures of Han and Logan page, which, after DD gives her approval, will go live.

~*~

Still discussing BNFdom on zendom.

Vera asked:
What specifically defines a BNF? What makes it negative for you?

This is my answer, cobbled together from a few posts I've made in the past couple of days.

I think it's an outside label. One never calls oneself a BNF, not because of ego, but because one rarely sees oneself as being all that to that many people.

I think, and I've said this before, that there's this disconnect between being popular and feeling popular, and also the idea of "indie cred" that so many fic writers - especially slash writers - love so much, i.e., "We're subversive and transgressive. We live on the fringe! Oh how brave and oppressed we are, fighting the Man!"

If you're suddenly the queen of the prom, you're no longer oppressed and on the fringes, are you?

Therefore, you can't be popular. You can't be mainstream. Only hacks are popular.

Also, as I said, it's something that *others* perceive about you.

I think there are very few *true* Big Name Fans.

To me, a BNF is someone who transcends fandoms. When I say "Te" - people from Sentinel to X-Men to Buffy to Smallville - with various stops along the way - know who Te is.

Or someone like Kate Bolin, who runs the big archive - USCL and the BtVS Writers Guild. People know her. They may love her or hate her, but they know who she is.

Within a fandom, again, it's more something that other people will say, rather than the person herself.

To me, a BNF (writer division *g*) should be someone who's recced all over, and who has those stalkers discussed earlier, whose style is slavishly imitated by newbies looking to get in good with whatever the "in crowd" is. Someone whose work is discussed as being "must-read" within a fandom whenever a newbie asks, "What are the stories/authors I have to run out right away and read?" Someone whose name always comes up in those circumstances. Someone whose feedback count is consistently in the double digits, and who inspires in-depth LoCs on list.

I don't fit any of those criteria, objectively. I mean, if any of those things are said of me, point me at them, 'cause I ain't seen 'em yet. *G*

I admit, my diary is linked a lot of places, and I'm egotistical enough to think that some of that is because I have interesting or entertaining things to say. Some of it I think is because I have links to other interesting people, and it's as good a jumping off point as any.

I don't think it necessarily equates to being a Big Name Fan, though, especially as most of what I write is in a fandom that's fairly dormant and is het (and yeah, there is a bias against people who write het. Sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's not.)

I guess I'm thinking there must be some measure of quality and respect for the writing (or whatever artistic contribution is made) over the long-term, in addition to all the meta'ing that goes on.

As for the negative, well, it's all about context, no?

I like "Diva" or even prima donna, both of which already carry that connotation, to describe someone who "abuses" their fame or tries to lord it over everyone else.

Honestly, until I started hanging around on multi-fandom lists and in blogland, I never heard the term BNF. So to me, it didn't really carry any negativity, until the discussion got going.

And really, if all it means is that someone is well-known, it's not a pejorative. However, it obviously carries a connotation that many people don't like.

I think one can shape the fandom if one gets in early enough and comes up with an idea enough other people like and adopt as fanon, without being a BNF, or ever being remembered as the person who originally came up with the idea. Of course, if enough people like it and use it, you don't have to be one of the early birds in a fandom, but that's usually the case.

There are people long gone from various fandoms whose fingerprints are all over the fanon, I bet.

That's really far more powerful and all-pervasive [or insidious, to use a negative] than even BNF-dom sometimes.

My name is well-known in my main fandom [and I'm guessing frequently vilified lately, but that's a whole 'nother story *snerk*], and I'm the only person who began writing back in the "early days" who is still active, yet I don't think I've ever been a BNF in the fandom. But I'm happily plugging along, dealing with diminished feedback and the occasional dalliance with other fandoms.

I was never taken up by the cool kids and "groomed" as a newbie. I'm not the type of person who slips easily into email friendships or what-have-you, and the whole stalking the BNFs never, ever occurred to me. It seems a little too calculated and smacks of social climbing to me.

Yes, I sent feedback to the people whose stories I loved, and they were the BNFs, but I didn't know that at the time. I suppose if I'd really wanted to be popular, I could have gotten in on the "in crowd," but like I said, it never occurred to me.

Coming from the discussion newsgroup background, where you became known on the strength of your arguments, though there's a cult of personality there as well, I guess I just figured my work would speak for me, and I've been satisfied with the results.

It seems like a lot of work to be a BNF, and I'm more interested in writing good stories and discussing writing etc. than I am in gladhanding or grooming newbies. Of course, the few times I've betaed for newbies, they were never heard from again, so... *g*

Got something to say?

I really need to go to bed... Sigh.

~victoria

link



[current mood: sleepy]
[current music: silence]
[random quote: trust your feelings]

~*~

2002-06-12 - 5:33 p.m.

All Summer In a Day

The lovely and obviously more persistent than I Dawn found a link to All Summer In a Day.

The site claims it's an excerpt (for educational purposes, of course, which falls under fair use in copyright law), but it seems pretty complete to me.

And still just as heartbreaking now - and as beautifully written - as it was then.

Sigh.

That tone in the story?

That tone pervades my writing. I aim for it, that poignant, wistful ache of melancholia and missed chances.

I don't know if I ever succeed as well as Bradbury does here (maybe in Comfort Me With Apples, and possibly Kindness Falls Like Rain), but I'm trying damned hard.

~victoria

link

[current mood: geeked]
[current music: Sympathy for the Devil - Stones]
[random quote: Just like every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners saints...]

~*~

2002-06-12 - 12:35 p.m.

the short and long of it...

A few people have been listing their favorite short stories, and I have to tell you, I've never been a fan of the form.

Even back in the day, when I had time to read the New Yorker from cover to cover [yes, even the horrid economics articles and the pretentious art columns], I *always* skipped the short fiction, just because the form generally doesn't interest me.

As a character-driven reader, a short story just isn't enough time to spend getting to know the characters enough to care about them.

I think that's why short fiction works for me in fanfic - simply because I'm already attached and don't need the background. I just want to hit the highlights, as it were, and why fanfiction with myriad original characters and big intricate plots centering on saving the world or what-have-you tends not to interest me.

If I want that, I'll read a novel.

I read fanfiction for a very specific purpose, usually, and that's to get *more* of the characters I love, preferably in a romantic sitch that'll never EVER show up onscreen.

But that's just me. (And I'll probably get more into that if I ever get my thoughts on the slash thing together.)

Anyhow, as for short stories, off the top of my head, here are some that I like. And because I'm a goodhearted soul who wants to encourage other people to read my favorite stores, links where I could find 'em:

All Summer in a Day - Ray Bradbury (which I wish was on the web, 'cause it broke my heart in sixth grade and I'd like to read it again)

A Rose for Emily - William Faulkner

The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber - Ernest Hemingway

A Clean, Well-Lighted Place - Hemingway

The Killers - Hemingway (actually, I really like most of Papa's short stories - all the Nick Adams ones especially)

The Lottery - Shirley Jackson

The Open Boat - Stephen Crane

Maggie, Girl of the Streets - Crane (this might be considered a novella; I'm not sure)

Cask of Amontillado - Edgar Allan Poe

The Fall of the House of Usher - Poe

Ligeia - Poe

The Tell-Tale Heart - Poe

Masque of the Red Death - Poe

hmm... sensing a pattern here? *g*

Each Damp Thing - Barbara Hambly

The Writer's Child - Tad Williams

A Bone Dry Place - Karen Haber

The Voice of Her Eyes - Karawynn Jones (which can be read here)

Merv Pumpkinhead's Big Night Out by Michael Berry (online here)

All of which are simply author-sanctioned fanfic set in The Sandman universe.

And, because I'm a sentimental schmuck, The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry

If we include novellas, The Little Prince by Antoine de St. Exupery has to go on the list. One of the best books ever.

Just so's ya know.

I also think I probably should have some Twain on here, but I'm blanking on which stories I really liked, and which were simply really good Saturday afternoon specials on ABC when I was a kid. *G*

So you see, after I left high school, I pretty much left the short story as a genre behind, and I haven't gone back.

I'm sure I'd probably really like some of Stephen King's short stories, as I've heard they're his best work, and anything that produced both "Shawshank Redemption" and "Stand By Me" is probably pretty good, but short stories to me are too.... short.

I need to dig in and get to know the characters, and it's a rare author who can pull that off in six to ten thousand words, you know?

Now please excuse me. I have to go bang my head on my desk because MS is insane and he's trying to drive me crazy as well.

~victoria

link

[current mood: giddy]
[current music: Gimme Shelter- The Rolling Stones]
[random quote: I don't wanna be your fall back crutch anymore...]

~*~

2002-06-11 - 10:33 p.m.

boys and men

Finally saw Kate & Leopold tonight.

Aside from the fact that Meg Ryan is way too thin, I liked it muchly.

Hugh!

Brad!

What more can you ask for?

I mean, BW even said, "The thing"! It was like having a really ishy version of Josh in the movie.

Breckin Meyer is adorable and Liev Schreiber's got that voice...::shivers:: His voice *so* does not fit his face.

So I liked it. Laughed like a hyena at the rescue in Central Park. Didn't mind the huge time travel paradoxes. I try to ignore them, 'cause they make my head hurt.

Hugh is simply born to play all the roles Cary Grant would play today.

He looks like a man, when too many actors today look like overgrown boys.

Back in the "golden age" of movies, you had men like Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart, Spencer Tracy, Clark Gable, Gregory Peck...

They looked and acted like and had the *presence* of men.

Today we have Tom Cruise and John Travolta and Kevin Costner, Keanu Reeves and Owen Wilson and even my beloved Ewan McGregor and John Cusack - they all look like boys, or, at most, *guys* - guys who still live in their parents' basements and think that pizza and beer is a nice dinner.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love pizza and beer.

I also love the boys.

And there are some manly men out there - Hugh, Russell Crowe to some extent, Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson. Liam Neeson. Sean Bean and Viggo Mortensen.

But for the most part, actors today look like they're caught up in a perpetual adolescence, and as I get older, I find that less and less attractive.

We've done the same thing with women, but at least some of the younger women clean up nice and can do older (and some women, Meg Ryan among them, are typecast as adolescents even when they're supposed to be successful career women in their late 30s).

Hmm... that sort of came out of nowhere, though it's something I've said before, and will no doubt say again.

I know I said something about slash and why and such, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow....

~victoria

link

[current mood: happy]
[current music: the hum of the air conditioner]
[random quote: It's too darn hot...]

~*~

2002-06-11 - 11:57 a.m.

fandoms and friendships

Interesting discussion going on on zendom right now about personality shaping fandom, and also how in certain fandoms, BNFs will groom the newbies etc.

Personally, I've never been comfortable with the whole "stalk my favorite author" schtick. I'm also not exactly the most friendly person, either, which could have a lot to do with it. I'm shy, believe it or not. I don't think anyone really wants to hear from me, and I'm always surprised when people actually like me [or say they like me. whether they actually do or not is always up for debate in my mind].

So it never even occurred to me to curry favor with any BNFs in XMM, when I started, even though I wrote them all and some of them sent me feedback (and believe me, feedback from one of my favorite writers *still* sends me into a tizzy of delight). My friendships tend to be more organic than that, and less deliberate. I, to paraphrase Donna when talking about Josh, tend to stumble sideways into people and end up being friends.

I already knew a couple BNFs in Buffy before I ever wrote a word of fic, but my output on the fic side in BtVS is so minimal that it doesn't really matter. I mean, it's nice to know someone when going into a new fandom, and if it hadn't been for Kate, it probably would have taken me a lot longer to get into XMM, so yeah, knowing people can be beneficial. But that's never been my primary reason for striking up a conversation.

I guess I'm happy on whatever outer fringe I inhabit, as that's been my location most of my life, though in college, yes I was in the "cool club" but only by default. I was friends with the people before they became "cool" and I never thought, once I started hanging out with them, that they were cool in any way. How could they be, if they let me hang out with them? They were just my friends, you know?

Smallville -as a fandom - is interesting to me because I already knew many of the people, even if just from sending them feedback, so it never felt strange and I've never felt like an outsider, even though I know I'm not in any "inner circle."

Since my reading of CLex fic has been minimal in the past few months [I really am attempting to catch up, but life has a way of interrupting, and reading boysex at BEMC isn't the best idea], it's been interesting to write free of a good deal of fanon that's sprung up.

I've gotten comments that my Lex is different from other people's Lex, and well, I think that's a good thing, because after all, we don't all see the same show or bring the same experiences to writing about it. I'd like to think my take on Lex has something of my vision in it, and isn't just me trying to write Jenn's or Te's or Hope's Lex.

My Clark is a little different, as well, I'm told. I'm not sure if it's true or not. I just try to stay as close to the characters I see onscreen as possible, even when they're fucking on the kitchen floor during a DNC fundraiser (and notice - Lex w/Clark is a Democrat. Lex w/o CLark is a Republican, per Nightswimming. *G*).

So in some ways, it's good to be on that outer fringe. It's freeing, because nobody really expects anything from you.

I mean, I think when people see my name, they know the story is going to be grammatically correct and formatted properly. After that, it's a crap shoot.

I aim for quality, and I like to think I provide it, but that's often in the eye of the beholder.

I'm pondering a couple of recent posts about slash fans and why one reads and writes slash, and also a little more about "fluff" and what it really means, or basically, why can't fans agree on genre classifications, just for general discussion and possibly archiving purposes?

So I'll mull. You can too, if you like. *g*

Feel free to chime in at any time.

Also, Kingman's Bluff? Is that the name of the cliff where Willow raises Propecia's temple? [and yes, I know it's Propexia, but I like my version better. She's the demon of hair loss. *snicker*] Not that it matters, as I wrote the Xanderfic without using the name, but now I'm curious, and as the transcripts aren't up yet, and I missed the name once again while rewatching, I was hoping someone had the answer and wouldn't mind sharing.

~victoria

link

[current mood: cheery]
[current music: As Is - Ani DiFranco]
[random quote: I try to laugh at whatever life brings, when I look down, I just miss all the good stuff when I look up, I just trip over things]

~*~

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