a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

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2002-07-14 - 12:48 p.m. Happy Birthday, Dom! Yet another driveby entry... Happy Birthday Dom! Happy Birthday Claire! The latest installment of The Continuing Adventures of Han and Logan: Two Manly Men In Love is up. Go. Read. Laugh your ass off. Stupid family party today. Not for Dom's birthday. And the side of the family that always makes me itchy and uncomfortable. Grrr... At least the kids will be there, so I can play doting aunt and not have to talk to anyone. Babysitting last night. Got home late, crashed. ~victoria [current mood: rushed] [current music: tv in the background] [random quote: Age ain't nothing but a number] ~*~ 2002-07-13 - 12:25 p.m. Ticketmaster is Evil I hate Ticketmaster. Ticketmaster is Evil. Because I was in, I was good, I was freaking Queen of the World, until their fucking information screen went on the fritz. It's not MY fault the screen didn't include the section with credit card info until I refreshed 40000 times. So this stupid 5 minute limit is, well, stupid. And Evil. Because those tickets were MINE and it's THEIR fault that their stupid computers don't bring up the right screen on the first try. I fucking hate that. I'd rather never get through at all then get halfway there and have the tickets ripped from my hand. Grrr... ~victoria link [current mood: angry and frustrated] [current music: It's Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel] [random quote: hot funk cool punk even if it's old junk it's still rock and roll to me.] ~*~ 2002-07-12 - 5:10 p.m. The Day's Hard Light The best day of my life, past three months edition: The day the man from UPS came and showed me how to do all my shipping lables via the internet, so I no longer have to fill out airbills. It's sad that this makes me so happy, but it really makes my life *so* much easier. Sigh. ~*~ I'm not sure this is ready for any sort of public consumption, but here's the full prologue to Day's Hard Light. The Day's Hard Light Prologue Rogue was trying on her brand spanking new X-Men uniform when the door swung open and Logan barged in without knocking. She turned, startled, and then smiled. Spreading her arms wide, she said, "How's it look, Logan?" He didn't smile in return. His expression was grim. He'd been in a bad mood ever since his return from his last trip to Canada, but this was something more. "Take it off, Marie." She blinked. Over the four years she'd known him, she'd often hoped he'd one day open his eyes and see her as a woman he could love, but she'd never expected such a brusque, unloving command. "Excuse me?" she asked, confusion evident in her face. "Take. It. Off." He emphasized each word as if she were stupid. "I don't want you joining the team." "Excuse me?" she repeated, anger replacing confusion. Most people would have backed down. She had a reputation for a nasty temper and no qualms about getting physical if need be. Logan was not most people. It was from him that she'd gotten those traits. "You heard me, kid. Take it off and give it back. Tell Chuck and Cyke thanks, but no thanks. You've got better things to do with your life than play superhero for a bunch of people who hate and fear you. You've got a college degree and you'll teach if they want you to, but *you* are *not* joining the team." His voice was hard, his eyes burning with anger and another emotion she couldn't identify. She laughed in disbelief, a bitter, mocking sound. "I don't think so, Logan. I'm not a kid anymore and I don't need your protection. I've trained four years for this. I made a commitment--" "No." "No? Just like that, no? The all-mighty Wolverine has spoken and little Marie must obey? I don't think so, sugar. When I put on this uniform, I'm Rogue and--" "What part of 'no' didn't you understand, Marie?" "Any of it. What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" He interrupted her tirade by extending a single claw. "Take it off, *Marie*, or I'll cut it off you." He'd never -- *never* -- threatened her. But there was something in his tone that told her he'd do it if she pushed him. Her hands moved involuntarily to the zipper. "Pack a bag. I'll be back in ten minutes." Before the door was closed behind him, she was stepping out of the black leather, pulling on her jeans and a t-shirt. She wondered at her automatic obedience to him, and decided that four years of training had instilled in her that unquestioning response on the rare occasions he used that tone of voice. She knew he'd never hurt her, but she also knew he'd cut the leather off her body in a heartbeat when he said he would, and the adamantium would never even graze her skin. With an efficiency born of long practice, she had a small duffel bag packed and was sitting on the bed waiting when he returned. "Let's go." He walked down to the garage and she followed, hurrying slightly to keep up with his longer strides. "Where are we going?" she asked when she caught up with him at the Jeep. "DC," he said as he opened the door for her, tossing her bag into the backseat. "Are we meeting Jean and the Professor?" she asked as they left the mansion. "No." "My, aren't you Mr. Talkative today," she muttered. He ignored her. Silence reigned until they were well on their way, cruising down I-95 at seventy miles an hour. Finally, he said, "I don't want you on the team, Marie." "No, really? I'd never have guessed." "There's such a thing as sarcasm abuse," he responded mildly, the earlier storm of his temper dissipated as if it had never existed. She snorted in exasperation, amazed as always at his ability to disconcert her with his mood swings even now, even as well as she knew him. "Being a hero," he continued haltingly, "it's not like on TV. Being an X-Man is dirty, dangerous work and I don't want you involved in it." She grabbed her seatbelt, pulling at it distractedly. "You're not telling me anything I don't already know, Logan. I've got firsthand experience with what we're up against, if you'll recall. I didn't go into this blind. I've been on missions, and I've seen you all when you come home--" "I'm not talking about rescue missions, Marie." His voice rose. "Goddammit! I'm talking about combat. Friends of Humanity, members of the Brotherhood, secret government black ops guys -- you have *no idea* what you're getting into." "You trained me, Logan. You and Scott and the Professor. You said I was one of the best hand-to-hand fighters you've seen and --" "I trained you to defend yourself. And yeah, to fight with the best of them. But," he ran a hand through his hair, "you're not a killer, Marie. And I'd like to keep it that way." She stared at him, stunned. "Me, it doesn't matter so much. It's who -- *what* -- I am. But you -- you're different. Better. I don't want you to lose that." She licked her lips, mind racing for some kind of response to this shocking statement. "Logan, you're a good man. Sure, you've had to do some bad things -- some hard things -- to survive, but *you're* not bad. You're not a killer." "Marie --" "No. Now it's my turn to say, 'no.'" She shifted, folding one leg under herself and turning her body toward him. "You saved me. You gave me a ride when you didn't have to, you came after me when I ran -- Jesus, Logan, you didn't even *know* me and you came and got me after *I* almost killed *you*. "How you could possibly have any doubts about what kind of person you are --" "I've seen things, done things--" She gasped, interrupting him. "You remember?" He jerked his chin forward in what might have been a nod, she wasn't sure. "All I'm saying is this -- it's not glorious. It's not heroic. It's war and it's dirty. It changes you. It makes you hard and cold inside." "I've seen it, Logan. I've lived it," she responded, keeping her voice gentle. "Not only through your memories. I've seen a lot of things no one should ever have to see. People herded into trains like cattle, mothers and children separated so that the mothers could be gassed while the children were put to work." She closed her eyes, and even now, she could still see some of Erik's memories, things of nightmare, things she couldn't believe human beings could do to each other. "People, living in the mud, worked until they were nothing but skin and bones. Collecting the hair and teeth of the dead. The smell of human flesh burning-- "I know, Logan." "I'm sorry, baby," he answered, taking one gloved hand from the wheel of the Jeep and caressing her cheek. "But you don't, really." She leaned away, caught in a second set of memories. "The scent of blood," she whispered, "the feel of it warm and wet on your claws. The way the heat makes everything hazy..." "The bugs, the fucking bugs that never leave you alone," he finished. "And the feel of dead, bloated bodies being loaded on a truck so a chopper can take 'em back to the world." "You do remember." "Some things." *** Then we shift to Logan's memories of Vietnam. I'm fairly certain that's the full prologue. We don't need a segue, really, into him telling the story. That'll come at the end, when they're at the Wall, maybe. Or maybe just before they get to the Wall. I don't know. All I know is, Logan's working with the Green Berets (most likely the fictional ones stationed on the banks of the Song Tra Bong). He's a sniper who goes out into the jungle for weeks at a time. Everyone thinks he's a little crazy, and well, he is, I guess. Or he's not normal, anyway. He knows he's got the claws. He uses 'em for up close killing, when necessary, though he's got an M16. He runs into a patrol - Army guys - grunts. He hooks up with them for a little while, just for some company, some beer and news of the world. They get ambused and things are fucked up. Almost everybody dies but him. I'm fairly sure that's the whole story. I just have to write it, and it's hard. Sigh. Oh well. I have a train to catch, so I'm outta here... As always, comments, suggestions etc. are welcome. ~victoria link [current mood: exhausted] [current music: Just What I Needed - The Cars] [random quote: \"Let me give you some advice, Tim. Never try to hustle a Sicilian.\" Al Giardello, HLotS] ~*~ 2002-07-12 - 1:07 p.m. Survey says! Huh. I think Q-104 is doing a Moulin Rouge thing today. They just played Diamond Dogs (Bowie version, of course), and now The Show Must Go On (Queen, of course). If they pop up with CHildren of the Revolution or Your Song, I'll be convinced. 'Cause god knows, they'd never play Lady Marmalade. ~*~ Survey gacked from everybody and her uncle: What's the first fandom you wrote fic for? Technically? Vampire Chronicles. But that was when I was 21 and stupid and before I got online. The first official fandom I really tried to write for was Angel. What's the most recent fandom that you've written fic for? Smallville and Star Wars: AotC What's the title of your first fanfic? Finished and posted? Enough for Now Still unfinished? Love Is All Around. Does it suck beyond the telling of it? No. It's quite good, actually. Is it slash or het? Er, gen-ish. Het. L/R UST. What was your first 'ship? Jo/Laurie - Little Women Or do you mean that I read fanfic for? Xander/Willow. First one I wrote was Logan/Rogue. What's your fave 'ship now? Logan/Rogue. Clark/Lex and Chloe/Lex come in a close second. What 'ship makes your eyes bleed and your loins turn into monkey guts? Logan/Jean What is your most common fic pairing? Logan/Rogue. What pairing did you swear that you'd never write, but eventually did? Logan/Jean. What pairing do you swear you will never, ever write, even if your favorite character promised to make sweet love to you in their crypt/hotel/van/haunted apartment/prison cell/flat if you did? Draco/Harry. Harry/Snape. What's the wackiest fanfic situation you've put the characters in? Wacky? Scott Summers temping as a stripper. Though there is that X-Men/West Wing xover that has Leo and Logan being 'Nam buddies and Jed and Xavier being bitter high school rivals, and Sam Seaborn as the lost third Summers brother. But I don't think I'll ever finish that. It's pretty wacky, though. *g* How many times has magick solved/created the main problem/plot in your fics? Twice, in two unfinished BtVS fics. Oh, and the SV/AtS crossover that's not done yet. What pairing do you hate to admit to actually indulging in, against your better judgement? I don't read anything I don't like. And I don't have any guilty pleasures. If I like it, I like it and I admit it. Can you remember the first fanfic you ever read? No. It was some hilariously bad Buffy/Angel thing, though. Over the top and melodramatic and drove me off fanfic for almost two years. The first *good* fanfic I ever read was Shell Casing by Scott in Homicide. How long have you been involved in internet fandom(s)? Since 11/97. As a fic writer, since August of 2000. Ever written a cross over? Yup. AtS/Smallville - Different Paths - Lex and Cordelia run into each other at LAX. Best crossover fic you've read? Erk. There've been some really good ones. Hope's SV/HLotS one comes to mind, and so do Luna's Golden Girls/HLotS and Golden Girl/WW crosses, as well as her serious HLotS/WW one, though I can't see Hoynes and Bayliss... I'm gonna go with Yahtzee's Them Mean Ol', Low-Down Lando Calrissian Blues, which is a mega mega crossover encompassing West Wing, X-Files, Angel, and Smallville. What pairing do you want to write, but don't think you could? Hmm... I keep thinking I should try Logan/Ororo, but it just... fades on me. And Pete. Something with Pete. Maybe Pete/Chloe. But again, meh. Or Jonathan/Martha. Hmm... I guess I should have lunch now. I can file later, right? *g* ~victoria link [current mood: lethargic] [current music: Hey You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - Eddie Vedder] [random quote: She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going 'Ooh. Check me out, I'm wicked cool. I'm 5 by 5.] ~*~ 2002-07-12 - 12:19 a.m. Neil Gaiman is so cute Neil Gaiman is so cute! A little thin, though. When I got up there, I blurted out, "Are they feeding you?" which was better than the alternative, which would have been either, "Can I have your babies?" or "Eat more! You're too thin!" or "I got nothing." all of which crossed my mind on the line. He drew a rat in Alyssa's copy of Coraline (actually, he drew a rat in everybody's copy of Coraline), and when I told him my birthday was Monday, he drew a picture of Morpheus holding a balloon and wrote Happy Birthday! He read a chapter from the book, then answered questions. Apparently he's involved in quite a few films, he's working with Andy Kubert on something supersekrit for Marvel called 1602, he may be doing a full on reading of Coraline (the whole book) in New York sometime in December. It took him 11 years to write Coraline. He said he finishes everything he starts, except this one story he wrote in Venice in September. He began it in a notebook, forgot about it, found it a few weeks ago, and now says he can't remember what the hell was supposed to happen, so he doubts he'll ever finish it. He also talked about a Death story he was supposed to write - was actually sitting down to write it on 9/11 - and decided that Death spending a day in NYC wasn't exactly the thing he needed to be writing then. Wolves in the Walls is the next thing that's supposed to come out, along with Endless Nights, in which he tells the story of the Endless 500 million years ago, when Delirium was still Delight, Dream and Desire were very close, and Death was a grumpy little girl (his words). It's not, however, the story of how Delight became Delirium. He's involved in a bunch of movie projects, including Good Omens, which he says Terry Pratchett says is never going to get made and apparently the production fell $15 million short so it got put into turnaround, but he says he hopes it will get made eventually; they renewed the option with the movie people, who are trying to rework the script so they won't need the $15MM. He's working on a script with Robert Zemeckis and various other stuff. I also wanted to say, "Work with Joss Whedon" but I didn't. It was fun. I met Melymbrosia, with whom I had dinner in March. She didn't stay for the signing, so she gave me her number - I moved up from 212 to 84. Which was great, because I didn't get out of there until 9 even at number 84. I also met Viridian5 and geekturnedvamp (and some of her friends) and we talked about organizing another NYC fan get together. So it was cool. Oh - and Mely heard one of the people sitting near her - a teenager - telling her dad [or an older man anyway] my "Dad mixed up Gaiman/Diamond" story, so apparently I have another reader in NY that I don't know about. *g* So if you're reading this and you know who you are, drop me a line. *G* And it's pronounced "Gayman" so I've been saying it wrong, since I've been saying "Guyman" (after all, he himself told a Neil Diamond confusion story in his journal. How was I to know?) I also found it interesting, as we were lined up against the bookcases, that the Civil War had two bookcases devoted to it, WWII had three, WWI had only 2 shelves, Korea had one shelf, and Vietnam had a bookcase and a half. The fact that I looked around the event area and immediately saw "Vietnam" tells me I really, really ought to be writing Day's Hard Light. What can I say? I believe when the universe tries to tell you something, you ought to listen. I almost purchased Vietnam for Dummies and Going After Cacciato to help me with this Vietnam fic. Because I really want to get it right. Speaking of which... I need to make sure that Guadalcanal happened before Burma in WWII... Because I have Logan "dying" in Burma (i.e., that's when the govt realizes he heals and kidnaps him to work for them). Sleepy now. I think I covered the highlights. ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: Holiday in Cambodia in my head (thanks to that bookcase)] [random quote: By day they churn butter and worship according to their own beliefs...and by night they solve crimes. Pilgrim detectives! ~Sam] ~*~ 2002-07-11 - 1:08 p.m. Always on my mind I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things. Not much else to do when you can't sleep, right? So, variously, lots of interesting (and somewhat heated in a case or two) discussions going on all around fandom. I zoned out on the RPF thing on GO simply because I have a problem with the fact that some people odn't see it as an ethical issue at all, so we're obviously coming from far, far different places on things. And also because nothing makes me zone out faster than legal discussions. I don't listen to them at work, where I'm *supposed* to. What makes anyone think I'm going to listen to them on my leisure time? As far as the "feedback as a measure of quality" discussion Thamiris started, my feeling is this, as copied from what I wrote in her comments: Tham wrote: I'm not thinking about pandering to an audience so much as what if the audience is simply right, and you're not? (Generic you, of course). I mean, what if you think a story's good, but you're just deluding yourself, and the amount of feedback actually reveals the truth? I've been thinking about this, and while it might be true on occasion (I suck at math, so I'm not going to spout false numbers to back me up), but I think in general, that most writers who've been writing for a while - and more importantly, who READ other writers (pro and fan) - and have some interest in writing and also honest beta readers, know whether they're any good or not, or whether their stories are. I can look at my list of fic and pick out the ones that are... less good. That are mediocre. That convince me I'm nothing but a hack. I can also look at a handful of my stuff and say, "Damn. I did exactly what I set out to do, and it's a beautiful thing." one of the best stories *I* think I've ever written got very little FB. And I think in that case, the subject matter was part of it. I mean, "Rogue goes mad and there's no happy ending" isn't exactly easy subject matter, and well, the story had so many labels and warnings on it that I'm sure some people just hit delete. But *I* know it's a good story, and so do the other five people who read it. *snerk* Destina covered many reasons people don't bother to send feedback (and it's a great post. Go read it.), and there are others as well, that are more meta than writing based. Example from my own experience: I post my X-Men fic to four X-Men lists - 2 are pairing specific and 2 are general X-men (one is strictly movieverse and one is for any X-Verse and there are more of 'em than you can shake a stick at *g*). On the pairing specific list, it's highly likely that a story where the pair doesn't end up together is probably going to get less feedback. Unless it's the "You MUST fix this" kind. *g* At least, that's been *my* experience. My angst apparently isn't angsty enough. Or something. On the general X-Men lists, there is a large percentage of people who will not read the pairing I write. So boom - I've already lost half (at least) my audience. Strangely, though, most of my feedback comes from the X-Fiction list (at least, from what I can tell, and from my own list for Unfit, but I'm not counting that here), which has as many rabidly anti-Logan/Rogue people as it does Logan/Rogue shippers. Maybe even more. I don't know where I'm going with this, except that, I think you (generic) *do* know, once you've gotten some distance, what of your own stuff is good and what isn't. But maybe that's just me. I have an ego. I don't think anything I've written is less than decent; I'm not one who looks back and cringes and hates my old stories once I've gotten far enough away. Yeah, there are a couple I'd like to revise (and if they bug me enough, I will), but I think I've put together a good, solid body of work with some flashes of excellent writing. Sometimes I think we - as writers in fandom - are either too caught up in appearing humble to come out and say we think we're good (because, god, she's such a bitch, she thinks who she is. did you see her talking about her latest story as if it were the freaking second coming of Edith Wharton?), or some people really do have those low self-esteem problems and aren't just fishing when they start moaning about how much they suck. (And yes, I'm cynical enough to suspect constant whining about suckage may be an attempt to extort love from fans. And yes, I AM a bitch. Ms. Bitch to you, over there, by the dip. *g*) I mean, we all do it on occasion (I do it when I'm stuck, usually), but I don't believe it for more than the length of time of that particular bout of malaise lasts. But having seen absolutely horrid stories get reams of feedback (and I'm talking badly written, badly spelled, badly characterized, the dregs of FF.net type stories), I'm highly leery of more feedback = better quality writing. It might just mean that story hit the fandom's collective buttons. Who can say? Julad has a different take on the subject, and a *very* intriguing one that I'm still thinking about. Because feedback should tell you something about a story. *What* it should say is the question. On the writing front, still not doing any. Sigh. However, and how's this for some kinda weird syncronicity? - so I've been working on and off on the 'Nam story, and I read last week's New Yorker, and one article is all about Maya Lin, the chick who designed the Vietnam War Memorial down in DC (aka The Wall), which plays a role in this fic, and then a few pages later, the fiction was by Tim O'Brien, author of If I Die in a Combat Zone and The Things They Carried, the two books about 'Nam I've been using as background for the grunt's eye view of things. Is the universe sending me a sign as to what story I should be focusing on? Tried posting this in LJ, but it's fucked right now. Grrr... Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: irritated at LJ] [current music: Black - Pearl Jam *sniff*] [random quote: I know someday you'll have a beautiful life I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky] ~*~ 2002-07-11 - 12:11 p.m. Eight things by lunchtime First off, email - if I owe you... er, maybe this weekend sometime. I've been sleeping like crap and so haven't been answering much. But I will get to it. Promise. Secondly, after much thought, I ended up wearing black today, so if you're at the Gaiman reading, and you see a chick in a black dress with a black short-sleeve cardigan with a Huge Ass kilt pin in it, that'd be me. I'm thinking the kilt pin is the key to recognition here. Thirdly, hive mind, zoo story. I thought I cleared this up, but while I think the "wacky zoo escapades" thing is similar enough to have caught my attention, I don't think (after much thinking about it) I've been plagiarized. Just wanted to be clear on that. My guys haven't even *gotten* to the zoo yet. I *have* been hive minded, which irks me, but... Fourthly (does anyone actually say, "fourthly?" I've never heard it.), am contemplating Bruce tickets. $75 is steep. The first time I saw him, the tickets were $17 and change for cheap seats. Now the cheap seats are $75. Dom and I were talking, and we're mulling, and I'm thinking that even though I already gave him a birthday pressie, maybe I could shell out for another so he and I could go, and then he'd just have to pay for one ticket (his wife). Not sure. Because, man, Bruce. Live. The only thing that compares live is U2. Fifthly, and this leads directly from fourthly, I was thinking about why I'm so excited to go to this signing tonight, and why I've never been a fan of getting autographs from actors or the idea of going to cons to see them etc. Actors aren't their characters. The less I know about most actors, the happier I am. So while I'd *love* to meet Xander or Logan or Rogue, I have no desire to meet the actors, really. I mean, see them in person? Sure, so I could melt into a little puddle. But not as a fan seeking an audience. Whereas with writers or musicians or athletes, I am a fan of them as themselves (in their public persona). Athletes I don't care much about. I mean, I'm a fan of sports, and I've met one or two nice famous athletes at charity functions, and have no real desire to meet any of the other really famous ones (Adam Graves and Robin Ventura excepted). It'd be cool, don't get me wrong, but it's not something I'd seek out. Musicians... again, it'd be cool (and god, I'd probably be struck dumb in the personal presence of a musician who's had a real impact on my life, e.g., Bono or Bruce or Eddie Vedder), but I've never sought it out. Writers on the other hand... Writers are, god... maybe it's because I want to be one so badly. A published one, rather. Or maybe it's just because I'm so in awe of people who can move me with words like that, provide bone deep joy or pain. Drag me down into their world or their vision of the world, anyway, and hold me there long enough for me to feel like I've lived their story, and not want to leave. So yeah, I guess that's why I'm so much more interested in going to this signing and hearing Gaiman answer questions than I would be in seeing even, say The Sexy (whose birthday it is today, btw. The Big 3-0 for Michael Rosenbaum. God he's younger than I am. Urk. But only two years. And we're both Cancerians. Whee!), because while I think he's a good actor and absolutely scrumptious, he's not Lex Luthor, and Lex is the one I'm on about. Of course, the fact that Gaiman's cute and British helps. *g* Sixthly, there is no sixthly. Seventhly, last night I started a redesign of this page. Well, no. Not a redesign. Just a recoloring. I didn't upload it because I'm still attached to this look. But I am thinking on it. Some of you have seen the mock-up I made when mulling redesigning the Muse's Fool, and well, that'd be what this would look like. Bye, Venus. Bye, blue and gold. Those would be the only changes. And the colors, of course. I dunno. Some people change their diary layout like they change underwear, but me, I get attached. Sad, really. And eighthly, Happy Birthday, Aunt Joan. Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: thoughtful] [current music: Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac] [random quote: Rulers make bad lovers; better put your kingdom up for sale] ~*~ 2002-07-10 - 10:41 p.m. random ramblings Too tired to think. Too tired to write. Just spent two hours trying to make a new banner, similar to a graphic I made months ago, and I can't freaking remember what I did to get the effect I got and it's driving me nuts. Grrr... This has not been a good day. I was all excited this morning, on the train I had a couple of great ideas - one for how to make Eyes That Lied work, there was a serious plot hole that was confounding me for *months*, but well, I just need to check out Logan's tolerance for tranqs and other drugs; I think it'll work. *And* I figured out the backstory for another WIP I have - the Warren one. So go me! More misunderstandings than you can shake a stick at. I scribbled my notes as soon as I got a seat, and then I got to work and all hell broke loose, on three or four different fronts at once (family, work-related and fandom-related). Gah. I was going to write about personalizing and internalizing fanfic, but uh (glances at friends page), maybe I'll save that for tomorrow, when things have cooled down a little. I also still have ideas about Tham's feedback essay and Kate's thing about fanfiction as political/subversive. So much to talk about. So little brainpower... I did read a lovely Sandman fic tonight, that was recced on zendom. The Boy Who Gave Away His Birthday by Mary Borsellino (and *why* do I know that name? What other fandoms has she written in? Hmm... there might be some research tonight.) Slash, but PG-rated. And, of course, that's the cue to segue into me squeeing with joy over going to the Gaiman signing tomorrow. That's gonna be cool. ~victoria link [current mood: tired, cranky, random] [current music: Round Here - Counting Crows] [random quote: She looks up at the building, says she's thinking of jumping She says she's tired of life She must be tired of somethi] ~*~ 2002-07-10 - 4:37 p.m. All hail the big redneck belt buckle The next chapter of THe Positively True Adventures of Han and Logan: Two Gruff Manly Men In Love is up in DD's LJ. Love her. Love. Her. ~victoria [current mood: cranky] [current music: Rocking in the Free World - Neil Young] [random quote: That's one more kid who'll never get to go to school never get to fall in love never get to be cool] ~*~ 2002-07-10 - 1:26 p.m. To clarify I just want to clarify my earlier post a bit. The fact that someone else wrote zoo fic is NOT the thing that bugs me. I've been hive minded before. Zoo stories aren't exceptionally rare and I never expected that no one would ever write or post one while I was writing mine. Nacey wrote one a long time ago. Jamie wrote a carnival fic. I'm sure there are dozens of others in dozens of fandoms. What bugs me is that the person who wrote it has accused others of plagiarism in the past based on the flimsiest of (non)evidence, and friends of hers continue to harass people for this same type of thing. As I wrote in response to Peggy in my LJ, it's as if someone wrote a zoo story and said the monkeys are loud and are grooming each other. Then I write a lab story where there are monkeys in the lab and they're loud and are grooming each other. And Author Someone accuses me of plagiarism. Except that, you know, making a lot of noise and grooming/picking nits from each other's fur is standard monkey behavior, so unless I used Author Someone's exact wording and didn't credit her, it's not plagiarism, it's just a description of monkeys. From the dictionary (at m-w.com if you want to check me on it): Main Entry: pla·gia·rize Pronunciation: 'plA-j&-"rIz also -jE-&- Function: verb Inflected Form(s): -rized; -riz·ing Etymology: plagiary Date: 1716 transitive senses: to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own : use (another's production) without crediting the source intransitive senses: to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source See that? Using someone's idea isn't plagiarism. *Not acknowledging the source material is*. It's not a great idea, but we all do it. I've rewritten Casablanca and Princess Bride and an episode of Homicide. As long as I've stated up front that that's what I've done, I'm not plagiarizing, whatever the quality of the work. An exercise that is suggested by a number of books on writing is to do exactly that. Take a story you either really love or really hate, and rewrite it from your own POV and in your own style. In fanfic, it's best to ask the author if they mind you running with their idea or playing in their sandbox (which I have done and continue to do when someone comes up with something so ingenious, and I can think of other ways of playing it out). Anyhow, I hope that clarifies my position and my feelings. And now I need to finish this spreadsheet and go eat. More on other stuff later. ~victoria link [current mood: angry and queasy] [current music: Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar] [random quote: \"Revenge is like you taking poison, and hoping the other guy dies.\" Tim Bayliss, HLotS] ~*~ 2002-07-10 - 10:40 a.m. glass houses I understand that there was a zoo fic posted yesterday (to a list to which I am not subbed) by someone who frequently reads this diary. I realize that there are only so many plots, etc. but it really takes nerve to copy someone's idea after constantly accusing others of plagiarism over minor details. No doubt there's an explanation -- different fandom from the one I'm writing in (though, it should be noted, the story is in my main fandom), hive mind, whatever nonsense -- but I really am not interested in hearing it. Because I'm just looking at the facts. I posted zoo fic snips. A few days later, someone who visits this diary four or five times a day posts a zoo fic with a similar theme. You do the math. Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: grrr.... irate] [current music: Don't Get Fooled Again - The Who] [random quote: Meet the new boss; same as the old boss] ~*~ 2002-07-10 - 12:45 a.m. On canon Am still contemplating canon. I think I might hash this out here before posting to GO, since well, I can think out loud here, get my thoughts in order, etc. Obviously, without canon, there is no fanfic. (and that's something *else* I don't get about RPF - what is the canon? Puff pieces and appearances at awards shows? But let's not go there again.) Canon is the backbone, the skeleton on which you build your story. I *like* canon, to some extent. I like sticking to it, when I'm writing, though it wouldn't show in *anything* I've ever written. Except maybe Parallax. To use a different metaphor, canon is the amino acids that build the DNA - your Adenine, Thymine, Cytosine, and Guanine, and fanficcers combine and recombine them to form stories. Huh. I think I like the skeleton model better. Canon provides the skeleton and the fanfic writer adds the muscle and the flesh (and possibly a healthy coating of adamantium), blood, hair and skin. The thing is, without canon, our stories don't stand up as *fan* fiction. They may be perfectly wonderful stories about people named Clark and Lex or Buffy and Angel, but if they don't have all the bones the show has provided onscreen (Angel was Buffy's first lover. Angel has a soul. Angel has been cursed by the Kalderash tribe of gypsies. Jenny Calendar was a member of this tribe, etc. etc.), then well, then there really needs to be an explanation as to why. Or else it's not fanfiction. Okay, AU. Elseworlds. I can dig it. I write 'em. I write lots of 'em. In fact, everything I write can probably be considered AU at the very least (except for Parallax, and some of the gen fic), because it'll all be Jossed as soon as X2 comes out. (And more on movie vs. tv show canon later.) So first, AU = Alternate Universe. Like the Wishverse in Buffy. Everything's the same, except for one thing that changes everything. Buffy never comes to Sunnydale. That's an actual canon AU. Or Rogue never hides in Logan's trailer, Lionel Luthor finds Clark instead of the Kents, Ron dies in the big wizard chess match, blah blah blah. You're exploring the same universe, but changing one (or two or three) pivotal moments and seeing where things go. Elseworlds = Xander and Anya as Nick and Nora Charles, high society private eyes in the '40s. Logan and Rogue aboard a pirate ship in the 1800s. Harry and Hermione in Narnia (okay, that could be a crossover...). In these two cases, the thing that remains, when all story/background canon is thrown out the window, is characterization. The characters must be recognizable as themselves under their fancy new clothes (or lack thereof). You know, I had a great metaphor for this as I was falling asleep earlier, but now, nothing. I hate metaphors. Anyhow, the thing is, if the *characters* are recognizable, then you've still got fanfic, even if the setting is wacky (Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon as samurai, perhaps). Look, we all know that people act in weird and unpredictable, "out-of-character" ways. You see it on the news all the time. "But he was such a nice boy! Always so polite. I can't believe he shot up the 7-11!" The thing about fiction, though, is that you can't just inexplicably have people do random, uncharacteristic things. Fiction has to make *sense*. (At least, to me it does. You can have your pomo and your post-pomo crap. I don't want it.) Logan's not about to pour his heart out to Marie at a karaoke bar. Giles isn't going to suddenly decide to become a woman and start taking hormone therapy in preparation for trangender surgery. So if you write an AU where Anya is meek and submissive and not into sex, it ain't Anya. Unless, of course, she's pretending. Or you have a good reason for that remarkable change in character (unlike, say, St. Cordelia that Angel has given us. Bleh. A thousand times, bleh.). But I don't want to go off into the characterization rant. So yeah, canon. Building blocks. Bones of the universe. Am I making sense so far? A television show has much, much *more* canon (and, therefore, many, many more spaces between to be filled) than a movie, or even a novel, does. Think about it. 6 seasons (technically 5 1/2) of Buffy - 114 hours of television simply *packed* with canon (and characters acting OOC without the writers ever reconciling it all, but that's what fic is for, right? *g*). Same with Homicide or whatever your show of choice is. Even Alias, with only 22 eps so far, has so much stuff to keep track of. Smallville is a slightly different kettle of fish. Yes, 22 hours. Yes, lots of stuff to consider. (Yes, LaT is right and it's *still* creepy that Lana wore "the rock that killed my parents" as a necklace.) But... Smallville also has 60 freaking YEARS of Superman canon behind it. Not that it's adhering to canon; nor should Smallville fic writers adhere to Superman comics canon. But it's there, looming in the background like fucking Mt. Everest, you know? Lois Lane. LexCorp. Archnemeses. Same thing, to a smaller degree, with the X-Men movieverse. There's even less actual movieverse canon - 90 minutes of film. That's all. I don't count the novelization (it's too different from the final product), I don't count cut scenes (though they're interesting, especially the Logan/Scott uni confrontation, and how Singer cut the film to play up L/R and play down L/J), I don't count old versions of the script, and, here's the kicker, folks - I don't count 40 years of X-Men comics canon. It's nice to have as background. It gives me stuff to play with if I need new characters or old lovers of Logan or whatever, but it's not movieverse canon. Which, you know, you'd think was pretty obvious, but you'd be wrong. Ahem. I'm not gonna do that rant either. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. And I can see Smallville fandom having some… tension in that area too (see? God, I'm good.), with the whole, "but that's not how it happened in the comics!" business. Hmm... Where was I? Oh yeah. So, canon is good. I like it. I don't feel constrained by it, but then, that's because I write most of my fic in a fandom that has so little of it that almost anything goes. I don't care much for fanon, so I don't let myself be constrained by that, either. I do like stories that pay attention to canon. Without it, without knowing the fandom's canon, I don't think you can produce good fanfic. Does that mean it should be strictly adhered to and anything that contradicts it is bad? Of course not. But it should be the starting point for some of the wilder flights of fancy. Good fic writers can do that - can start with canon and stretch it to logical, if entirely previously unthought of, conclusions. Bad writers toss canon out wholesale, never realizing it's the framework on which good fanfic is built. (I'm talking the, "Angel's curse has no 'escape clause', so he never lost his soul" or "Spike is really just a fluffy puppy with bad teeth and we should all love and pet him 'cause he's not evil no more" school of fic.) I need to go to bed. I've been working on this since 10:45, with many distractions. ::looks darkly at Beth, who is not writing Lionel-Pam-Lillian:: Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: silence] [random quote: Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it! You gotta smack it on the nose with the rolled up newspaper of goodness!] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables