a fool's musings
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...
Warning: Adult Content
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07.24.02 - 3:40 p.m.
copy left?
Can someone explain to me the whole "Copy Left" business?
It seems counterintuitive to me.
~victoria
[current mood: tired]
[current music: What Is and What Should Never Be - Zeppelin]
[random quote: \"Don't make fun. I worked long and hard to get this pompous.\" Riley Finn, BtVS]
~*~
07.24.02 - 10:10 a.m.
"ooh, montage"
Can't Find My Way Home ~ Steve Winwood
Come down off your throne and leave your body alone.
Somebody must change.
You are the reason I've been waiting so long.
Somebody holds the key.
But I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time
And I'm wasted and
I can't find my way home.
Come down on your own and leave your body alone.
Somebody must change.
You are the reason I've been waiting all these years.
Somebody holds the key.
But I can't find my way home.
But I can't find my way home.
But I can't find my way home.
But I can't find my way home.
Still I can't find my way home,
And I ain't done nothing wrong,
But I can't find my way home.
It was used to great effect in both 21 Jump Street (Don't laugh. I loved that show. Tommy Hanson is one of my fictional boyfriends. Love him. Love. Him. "How many things can you do in 3.3 seconds?" *meep*) and Homicide
One of the best things about Homicide, and one of the things I love about Buffy is the use of music (and listening to OMWF on the subway this morning, well, that's a post of its own. Maybe later.). Even if the montages in the later seasons of HLotS were somewhat... gratuitous, they always picked songs that *fit* and didn't really intrude.
Shows like Dawson's Creek and yes, Smallville don't seem to understand that the music is supposed to underscore the emotion of the scene, not replace it, or be used as a manipulative tool for a cheap emotional response.
~victoria
link
[current mood: melancholy]
[current music: Can't Find My Way Home - Blind Faith]
[random quote: Life's a show and we all play our parts...]
~*~
07.24.02 - 1:09 a.m.
522 words about Buffy
BUffy ficlet up in the LJ - Buffy's defining moment.
I've already edited it down from what's there, and now I'm at 522 words, which pleases me.
Bed now.
~victoria
[current mood: tired]
[current music: silence]
[random quote: Well, I used to be disgusted but now I try to be amused since their wings have gotten rusted the angels wanna wear my red shoes]
~*~
07.23.02 - 11:08 p.m.
bruce, house painters, fanon and OMWF
Okay, whoever you are looking for "Bruce Springsteen working as a house painter" - I've checked it out and I'm told he did not. He's never had a paying job as anything but a musician. (Thanks, Blunaris.)
Hope this helps.
***
Just spent the evening fighting technology. For some reason the laptop will only read the floppy drive if it's in the modular bay and not hooked up externally. Grrr....
Then I downloaded a nifty bit of software to rip MP3s and made myself a OMWF cd, finally.
Which I am listening to now.
Is it wrong to conflate "Walk Through the Fire" with Duran Duran's "View to a Kill" (i.e., "dance through the fire, a fatal kiss is all you need")?
***
In response to Jenn's hierarchy of fanfic, I guess I just... fanfic of fanfic generally strikes me as a bad idea, because the more removes one is from the original, the less likely the writer is to nail the characterization, and characterization is basically all I'm interested in.
I've mentioned that I'm not fond of fanon, and if I have a choice between a story based on canon and one based on fanon, and both are well-written and in all other ways equal, I'll most likely go for the one that's based on canon, even if the characterization is way out there, as long as it's rooted in canon and recognizable to me.
After a while, fanonical characterizations all start to feel the same, and isn't one of the aims of fanfic to produce diversity?
Isn't the continued and widespread use of what Jenn calls 'hard fanon' just another means of perpetrating the lemon garlic humus thing, where everything starts to taste the same because no one is going beyond the general consensus (though with the authors who populate Smallville fandom, that's highly unlikely)?
I mean, when the fanon is so incestuous that the new writers can't tell fanon from canon and accept the former as the latter, that's a problem, to me. And I can point you at various places this has happened. If you're interested. email me.
I really need to finish this Buffy defining moment fic. Sigh.
~victoria
link
[current mood: busy]
[current music: I'm Under Your Spell - Tara]
[random quote: Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die...]
~*~
07.23.02 - 2:40 p.m.
another interblog convo
I wrote this in Jenn's comments, but I'll put it here as well.
First I wrote:
But if a story needs three other stories to prop it up, yet it's not explicitly part of a series with those stories (and those stories are, in fact, all separate), how can it be a good story?
And if it's more like fanfic of a fanfic, how can *that* be good, *as* fanfic?
Jenn reponds:
That's like asking how can fanfic be good if it's derivative off an original author's work. I swear, hon, I'm not being snarky, but it's a entirely different type of story in most ways.
My response to her response:
Why isn't fanfic of fanfic as good as fanfic of original work?
Is that the gist of the question?
Because in fanfic, there is a presumption of knowledge of the canon (on the part of the reader).
If I'm writing Smallville fanfic, I work under the impression that the largest portion of my readers have seen the show. Probably every episode. And are familiar with the canon. Same goes for any other fandom.
Yes, there may be people who start reading the fic before they see the show, or who dip a toe in based on recs instead of their own knowledge of the show, but I'd guess the majority of fanfic readers read fanfic for shows they're already invested/interested in.
Fanfiction is based on canon, and that shared knowledge allows for the extrapolations etc. that are so familiar.
Stories based on other fanfiction or on fanon instead of canon/original source material assumes knowledge not in evidence.
I'm the perfect example.
I have not read The Cuckoo or And Call It Peace. Therefore, Mercy as a fanfic of those fanfics (if indeed that's what it's supposed to be), is a failure for me, because I have no knowledge of the source material (which is, in fact, second hand, as it's already fanfic of the source material, thus the canon has already been filtered through one (or two in this case) writer's interpretation even before Mercy was written) it's based on.
For me, the Clark and Lex characterizations aren't well enough established *within* Mercy for me to draw a line from the show to the fic before they go off the deep end. If I need to read two or three other stories in order to get that, how is that successful fanfic? Unless, of course, it's a series, and that was the plan.
Does that make sense? It does in my head. Hmm...
~victoria
meta'ing the day away...
link
[current mood: interested]
[current music: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2]
[random quote: I have kissed honeyed lips felt the healing in my fingertips they're full of fire, this burning desire]
~*~
07.23.02 - 1:23 p.m.
on blogging and perception
Seema wrote on the effects of blogging on fandom, here and here:
(Basically, if it's in italics, it's Seema, if it's not, it's me, just in case I screwed up the coding)
(Seema quoting Jenn)
>jenn said:
As LaT has stated, there really is no way to separate the diarist from the writer in most people's minds, and unfortunately, she's absolutely right. That's a point that never occurred to me, and now in retrospect, it seems very obvious. I've tainted my own work without being aware I was doing it, so short of changing names and making the separation actual, there is no possible way I can ever remove that taint. And even then, I'm not sure most people sorta wouldn't catch on to the disappearance of one name and the beginning of another. *g*
(Seema responding to the quote):
There's probably more to this than I'm reading as it spans across several blogs, involves jennfic and I admit to being too time-starved to go and read all of the comments over the last few days, but I did think that jenn's comment was interesting - and worth mentioning here, mostly because I wonder if familiarity breeds contempt (and I don't mean this directed in any one direction - least of all jenn's, but only that she articulated something I'd been thinking about for quite a while).
Before blogs, there were writers - BNFs and everyone else - and you rarely communicated with each other. Maybe you got to rub shoulders with some of them on mailing lists, but there was always that clique of writers who maintained just enough distance to make you completely in awe of them. Or maybe you were a member of the clique and you created the distance. Whatever. But the point is, we didn't really get to know each other that well before blogs and LJs.
I don't disagree on the basic facts. However, I *do* think that it's not a bad thing that fic writers, and BNFs in particular, are demystified.
It's not even about the clique thing. It's about realizing that second or third tier writers can learn from those who write better than we do.
It's about finding other people who think or feel the same way about fanfic that we do, because I think most bloggers in fandom are not of the "it's just fanfic, so I don't have to spellcheck" variety. They're people who think about writing and reading and other interesting stuff that spills over into their writing and reading.
It's about learning how other people process character information, and possibly seeing *why* they write the characters the way they do.
I just wrote a mini-essay over in the LJ about characterization and how there have to be some basic parameters for fanfic to work, and how even with everyone starting from this agreed upon baseline, there will always be some writers whose characterization just won't work for me (or you or Joan Q. Ficreader), and some readers for whom my take on the characters won't work.
I think it does help to read in someone's blog the whys and wherefores, though there is something rather ... unseemly about a writer defending her own work in public. I try not to do that, myself, though I will answer questions and talk in general terms as I'm writing a fic what my motivations are and why I'm interpreting the characters the way I am.
Somehow, though, once a story is finished, I don't think I'm the one who should be discussing it or interpreting it. That's the readers' job, you know?
If asked point blank, obviously, I'll say, "Well, I wrote Rogue that way because of XYZ factors." And cite in the story and the canon where I got that from, but really, like I said, I think the stories should speak for themselves.
And I think blogging encourages discussion of fic in a way that most lists don't.
And again, more on the discussion of all sorts of things. I never would have written Hestia if Thamiris hadn't challenged my assumptions about description and what good it can do in a story. I still don't think I'll be using it a lot, but I certainly am far more aware of the good it can do (I mean, I was before, but I never consciously thought about it. I just knew I mostly found it boring to read and write, so I didn't include a lot of it).
More Seema:
But at any rate, I read some blogs and I think, "Wow, this person is really cool and I like their take on such and such character." Or I'll read a ficlet and it'll be like, "More? Please?" (hint to Sara ::g::). At the same time, forgive me, there are blogs I hit once and I back away slowly, a victim of TMI. And I know that no matter how wonderful a writer is, I now have this forever TMI image in my head that will never, ever go away and I rarely go back because I'm honestly too scared.
I get you totally on the TMI issue, but I guess I just have a capacity for skimming it out if there's someone I'm interested in reading on fannish topics. My dislike of cat stories and such is already well-documented. *G* I tend not to read the more personal entries. There are probably a number of people on my friends list who post mainly personal stuff, but then they hit something fannish that rings true, so I don't unfriend them. And some of them are people I *do* want to keep a more personal eye on, because they're friends outside of fandom or something.
Seema:
And at the same time, I also think it's possible to tip one's hand too much when doing the meta-dance in one's blog. It's one of the reasons why for the most part I've stopped posting fic snippets or anything but the most general updates on fic here. I'm not necessarily sure that I want anyone but my betas to know what I'm thinking or where I'm going. I don't want to be held to one particular thing I said a long time ago.
That's a good point, and one I've been pondering.
On the one hand, I've gotten some great information and help and outside looks at my stories, which has been helpful. On the other, I think people sometimes have expectations or preconceived notions of what a fic is going to be like by seeing a snip of it, and if they respond, and it's not at all in line with what I'm thinking, I start to worry.
An example is when I posted bits of Caliper, and Peggy asked about Rogue's mutation and her trip to the hospital and the tests being run on her.
Story had nothing to do with that. Absolutely nothing. Rogue's tests were a big macguffin, a plot device, for me to get Logan into that hospital hallway so he could meet the kid.
Yet when I saw Peggy's comments, I was like, "Uh oh. Obviously I did something wrong, because that's not *at all* what the reader is supposed to focus on."
So I can definitely see why people are leery of posting WIPs, especially if they don't really want outside influence.
However, it helps *me* far more than it hurts, at least so far, because I can see errors of all sorts that I missed in word, and also, it gives me a record of older versions, since I never keep old drafts.
Like in Nativity. I like the line about the resemblance of the family photo display to a Shinto shrine, but I cut it out of the final draft 1. Because it wasn't followed up on, and the connection wasn't clear to my beta, and 2. Because I needed to trim words and it was extraneous.
But who knows? I may decide to put it back in, if I expand a little on the story at some point.
Seema again:
For instance, I'm not a big fan of P/C fic - Lori and Rocky both know this (and now you guys do too ::g::), but I'm seriously musing a story idea for this pairing right now. And I don't want someone to come out and say, "You have no right to write this pairing because you don't even like it." Not that I think anyone can tell me what I can and cannot write - but the pressure is there.
Heh.
Having written at least one fic where the couple I despise with a fiery passion is together at the end (something I swore I'd never do), I can understand this reluctance to appear ... equivocal, but if the story demands to be written, it demands to be written. That's why I say there isn't much I won't write. Because who the hell knows when and with what inspiration is going to strike?
Seema:
But my point is - the blog is read by lots and lots of people and you don't even necessarily know who they are. And then the comments fly across the blog worlds so quickly, perceptions are formed based on what is said publicly and it's not necessarily true or false what eventually gets disseminated.
I do think the blog/LJ culture is a little like a huge game of Telephone.
Oh god yes.
But I think that good bloggers will include links and not quote out of context.
At least, that's what I try to do. Admittedly, there have been occasions I've gotten it wrong, and I've tried to correct that in subsequent entries, but for the most part, if I'm quoting someone, I'm generally linking their entire entry as well, so people can go make up their own minds.
As I just wrote in the LJ - I think it's implicit that everything I write in my diary or LJ is my opinion. I know that sounds obvious, but apparently some people like to have it spelled out from time to time.
I try never to speak as if dictating from on high, even when I do think I'm right and someone else is wrong. I'm not always successful, but I am generally aware of my tone as I post.
Mademoiselle Seema:
And there's a little something of the diarist in the writer - in my case, the diarist is more like the real me, a little more bubbly than the writer who is constantly prodding the angst bunny for ideas. But there is an overlap once you start to dissect ideas, theories, canon, shows, etc. Perceptions are formed as you read other people's thoughts and it's not clear where your ideas begin, where the others' start. It's almost like there's a 'fandom norm' for certain things and everything else is just plain out there. And it's not clear who started the fandom norm in the first place, but it wouldn't be surprising to me if blogs/LJs had a lot to do with forming opinions on what is and isn't acceptable in fandom, not to mention, may actually recruit/scare people in/out of fandom.
Now that's interesting.
While I agree that there should be a 'fandom norm' on some things (again, basic characterization springs to mind), I don't ever feel confined in my own writing by fandom's expectations of "normalcy."
Example, in many Logan/Rogue circles, there's a serious hate-on for Jean Grey. I don't like Jean Grey, and have been very vocal about this over the past two years I've been in the fandom.
However, that doesn't mean I accept as a fandom norm the horridly typical L/R writer's portrayal of Jean as a psycho out to kill or maim Rogue or a man-stealing tramp or just a generally unpleasant prick of a woman.
Now, this ties in with what happened to Jenn in regard to Handful of Dust (which I really must read one of these days) and her stated dislike of Clark at the time the story was being written.
Just because I don't like Jean doesn't mean I don't try to give her a fair shake when I write her. On the occasions I have written a somewhat "evil!Jean", I've tried to give her a good reason for her behavior, or the opportunity to explain for herself why she did what she did, within the story.
I'm not sure if, just from reading my fic, you'd get the impression that I don't like her. I don't know. I've tried really hard to keep it out of my stories.
I know Jenn well enough to know that she does the same thing. Obviously I can't speak for her, but coming from that same XMM background, I'm sure that she (as most L/R writers who don't vilify Jean, or anyone else [though I did used to give Remy a hard time]) is as sensitive to the issue of character bashing as I am. Possibly more so.
In terms of fanon, well, that's a whole different kettle of fish.
I try not to let fanon influence me too much. Some of it is inescapable, yes. And some of it I've appropriated where it seemed to fit with my view of a character.
But I don't think *anyone* should be forced to write within fanon... I mean, we're fanfic writers, ferchrissakes. We don't let ourselves be bound by canon. Why in HELL would we allow ourselves to be bound by other fans' interpretations?
::shakes head::
I've never quite gotten that.
Seema again:
And based on blogs, you can see who the defining personalities in a fandom are, and theoretically, if you wanted to fit in, you'd fall into line behind those opinions. And I'm not saying that people don't have their own opinions - it's just hard to go against mainstream when you're a new writer.
Hmm.
I think that's more dependent on the individual personality than it is on blogging in general.
Seema, from that second post I linked up there:
I don't seem to thrive on the blog world as other people do - in fact, I feel the need to run away sometimes because it *does* interfere with writing and other online activities - there's way too much to keep track of sometimes if you want to be a "good blogger."
I do think that it can suck up time better spent writing and reading fiction, and when it infringes on that too much, I pull back, but I love my blog. I love writing in it. I'm an argumentative person. I'm stimulated by debate and discussion, and I miss it in my offline life right now. So having it in blogland really gives me a charge. And on occasion, it's provided me with an impetus to try new things (silly metafic) and dip a toe into other fandoms.
Seema:
I agree, but I was reacting more to what I had read in jenn's blog about what she had written about a character in her blog and then writing a fic that apparently contradicted what she had written in the first place (which is what I understood the post to be about). It just got me thinking about the things I've said privately in email to people about how I feel about certain pairings or about characters - if I said that here, how would that affect your perception of a fic that I wrote that was completely contradictory to what I wrote here in the blog?
I like to think I can keep the diarist and the writer separate.
I'd probably think, "Oh, she had an idea that wouldn't leave her alone and she had to write it. I hope it's good." If that was a pairing/fandom I read.
Her:
I didn't mean to say that you can't write a pairing you don't like - I think anyone should write anything that the angst bunny tells them to write (or whatever bunny so moves you), but at the same time, I think there's an additional note of self-hypocrisy that comes into play if you do contradict something you've said publicly.
Me:
Hmm...
I tend not to worry about contradicting myself. I do it a lot. I tend to change my mind on things fairly often, when I get new information. I also have a horrid tendency to see all sides of an argument, and have been known to argue points I don't actually believe in, just to get a good debate going.
I also subscribe to Whitman's "If I contradict myself, so be it. I am vast. I contain multitudes" philosophy.
Just because last week I loathed Chloe/Pete (and I don't. I have no opinion of it whatsoever. It's just an example, for you literalists out there) doesn't mean that someone won't write a brilliant Chloe/Pete fic and change my view, or that something will happen in canon to change my mind or give me a plot bunny and make me want to write it.
I think as long as you're (generic) upfront about the fact that you've changed your mind, it's fine. It's your prerogative, after all. *g*
Seema again:
I think the blog/LJ culture - which is more predominant in other fandoms ("Smallville" being the first to come to mind) - has taken down some of those barriers. You can find an author you like, read her blog, find out what she thinks, and either agree or disagree with her statements. It might put pressure on new writers to fall into line behind certain writers in order to get the praise and recs, or it might make a fandom more attractive, etc. At any rate, the blog/LJ culture has allowed readers and writers to communicate more instantaneously and more honestly, more directly with each other - which depending on POV, could be a really good thing or a really bad thing.
But don't you think that pressure exists on mailing lists as well?
We've all seen/been on lists where someone could cough and get feedback. I'd like to think that more dissenting views on what's good or great in a story or fandom would be available in someone's blog, because they're not hindered by a list culture of "positive-only" feedback or currying favor with whomever is the flavor of the week.
Obviously, again, this is something dependent on both the fan's personality and the fandom.
Again, the lovely and talented Seema:
Some people, I feel more drawn to and I want to read their fics, but other times, I read their blogs/LJs and I think, "I don't want to read anything this person has written," even if I've been told X is an excellent, talented writer. There is something about the instant commenting culture that makes it possible to say too much - I think we do on occasion reveal a little too much and lately, I've been seeing that phenomena everywhere. Not to mention, it's so easy to respond to things or to carry them over into other blogs - it's hard to see where the original meaning began and where it ends.
[...]
I think the diaries etc give people a freedom to say anything, not to mention, allows people to talk back as freely as they care to - and that's fine - but I do think there's a perception that's formed about a person and her writing based on those comments, either positive or negative.
I think that might be too broad a statement, because I don't confuse the blogger with the writer.
There are people whose blogs I read because they're interesting, even though I don't read anything by them because they either don't write in my fandoms or they write a pairing I don't read. There are also people with whom I have major philosophical disagreements on certain fanfic subjects, but because I think they're good writers, I read their stuff. I'm thinking here of a number of RPS'ers. A number of them came from fandoms I'm in, and it in no way lessens my appreciation for the stories they've written in those fandoms (Buffy or XMM or even SV). I just don't read their RPS.
I'd like to think people can tell the difference between Victoria in the diary and Victoria the fiction writer.
Let's take it to a further remove. I don't like Russell Crowe. I think he's a prick, from what I've heard and read and seen of him in interviews.
However, I think he's an amazingly talented actor, and I would pay money to see him in most anything.
On the other hand, everything I've seen of Keanu Reeves convinces me he's a good guy, or as good a guy as a multi-million dollar Hollywood star can be, you know? But unless it's a Matrix sequel, it's highly unlikely that I'm going to shell out ten bucks to see one of his movies, even though I think he's adorable and a good guy.
I can separate the actor from the work, and the reputation from the actor.
Hemingway gets a bad rap, for example. He was another asshole. He was a misogynist, a womanizer, a drunk, a warmonger etc. etc. He was also a fucking FABULOUS stylist. I've run into too many people who don't like him because of him instead of because of his work. You (again, generic) may not like his writing, but judge it on its own merits, not what you know of the man.
I guess the upshot is, I expect people to behave as I behave, and to be able to separate me from my writing. But in the end, if they can't, I don't care.
I'm trying to be brutally honest when I write in this diary. That's why I don't edit out even the stuff that gets me in trouble, when I've lost perspective or all grip on common courtesy. Because just presenting the nice parts of myself to the world strikes me as false and pointless. I do that on lists and in person. In my diary, I want to feel free to let all of me show (metaphorically speaking. No nakey pics, you'll be glad to hear. ::shudders at the thought::). I don't want to be mean or a bitch, though I am both fairly often, but I also don't want to write nicey nicey crap all the time that doesn't reflect who I am in the least, because I'm afraid people will stop sending me feedback.
Fuck that.
Ahem. Sorry. Not yelling at Seema. Just getting worked up, because while I see how one's reading of someone's blog can influence one's reading of a text, I don't like it, and I try not to do it myself.
I think I've said everything I've been thinking. I don't know if it makes any sense to anyone who's not me.
Heh. I could have spent the last 40 minutes writing the Buffy defining moment fic I began last night, but instead I wrote this essay. Blogging really does steal time from writing fic. *g*
~victoria
link
[current mood: thoughtful]
[current music: Levon - Elton John]
[random quote: If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. ~William Blake]
~*~
07.22.02 - 9:43 p.m.
defining moments musings
Still looking for those extraneous 67 words. Sigh.
Also thinking about Buffy's defining moment, though you know, the show does that so well (PG, B2) and I'm not sure I'm up to the task. Then there's Xander's defining moment, which I think comes in PG, as well. also thinking of doing Rogue's and Logan's. Though with Logan it's difficult, because I can think of two off the bat that would be workable, just in the movie, and another that happens long before the movie starts.
So I don't know. I'll have to see how creative I feel.
I just wish I could hit the word target, you know?
But we'll see. I'm still thinking the Crayola challenge, but now in regard to Martha and Lex, or possibly Chloe.
I'm not sure...
~victoria
[current mood: pensive]
[current music: mets-expos on tv]
[random quote: I touch the fire and it freezes me I look into it and it's black Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel I]
~*~
07.22.02 - 7:07 p.m.
Nativity
For Jae's Defining Moment Challenge.
It actually started as an answer to Kassie's Crayola Challenge, with the title Sepia, but it didn't seem to go with that. This worked better.
But it's 67 words too long. Waaah!
Anyone got suggestions on how to pare it down to 500 words on the nose?
Help is most appreciated.
~*~
Nativity
Clark looks at the pictures he holds in his right hand. His grandfather, young, proud and strong, standing with *his* father in front of the house they'd just built. Pioneers, immigrants...
He understands these men far more than he used to, than he ever expected to.
The pictures are faded and curling, sepia-toned memories of brave men who traveled long distances in search of a new life. His mother doesn't know he's taken them from the mantle in the living room. They sit, together with pictures of her family, all along the shelf above the television. He remembers vaguely reading about Shinto in Japan, about how ancestors are worshiped like gods, and shrines are built for the dead in the houses of the living.
Generations of Kents have stared down at him for as long as he can remember; gruff, leathery faces and eyes that had seen too much death, too much hardship. Yet they refused to give up, even in the face of incalculable odds.
He feels a kinship with them deeper than he's ever felt before, as he sits in the storm cellar.
He looks at the ship, gleaming dully in the dim light that filters in through the cracks in the door, weighs the metallic rectangle his father gave him, holding it gingerly in his left hand.
Two worlds. Past and future.
He knows that his parents love him. They tell him in words every day. They show him in every gesture they make.
"An answer to our prayers," his mother says, "a gift from above."
Jonathan and Martha Kent. They are his real parents, in ways deeper than mere biology.
But he wonders, as he weighs the tablet in his hand, what his biological parents are like. Were like. Why they sent him away. Why they didn't come with him. What they hoped he might find or become when he arrived.
He puts the tablet in his back pocket, and looks again at the pictures of his father's fathers. They, too, made the decision to strike out for an unknown country, to leave behind everything they knew in hopes of a better life.
He wants to make them proud, live up to their legacy. He wants to make his parents proud as well, wants to be the answer to their prayers.
It's a big load to carry, but he's strong for a reason. He believes that now. He has his powers, his gifts, in order to make a difference in the world. It's not just about keeping the farm afloat anymore.
No, he knows that he has a responsibility to do good, to do right, to *help* people, in ways that possibly only he can.
He started today, by saving Lex Luthor.
He knows it's a heavy burden for any man to bear, let alone a sixteen-year-old boy who's just learned he's from another planet. But it's his, and he will carry it. What else is his super-strength for?
He will shoulder his cross, he thinks, and though he's never been religious, he can suddenly see the appeal of martyrdom, understands what the universe was trying to tell him when he was strung up in that field.
Yes, he's Clark Kent. He's Martha and Jonathan's little boy, their gift from heaven.
But he's also an alien, and he's going to do right by his adopted planet, and save it, one person at a time.
fin
~victoria
link
[current mood: creative]
[current music: silence]
[random quote: When I was born, they looked at me and said, what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.]
~*~
07.22.02 - 4:10 p.m.
fanfic survey
Fanfiction survey, as seen in LJs everywhere. I saw it first in Alara's.
1) How many stories have you written? Ballpark figure.
162
I counted a couple weeks ago to prove a point.
The breakdown is:
X-Men movieverse: 130
BtVS/Angel: 17
Smallville: 10
Homicide: 1 (and 1 crossover that I counted in XMM)
West Wing: 1
SW: AotC: 1
I guess I’m fairly fandom monogamous in writing, eh?
2) What is your BEST work, in your opinion? And why?
Crap. I'm supposed to choose out of all those stories?
Uh, The Soiled Dove in terms of plot and sheer good storytelling.
But I'd also have to include A Thousand Words, Jim Morrison's Dead, Chasing the Blast, The Language of Goodbye, The Space Between and In the Service of the Queen for various reasons, like characterization, use of language, and good writing.
3) And the worst...?
Huh.
Crossing Canada needs work. Some of the installments of Aching to Be make me a little unhappy. It was the first series I wrote, and it got away from me.
I don't think anything I've written is actually *bad*. Some of it's just not as good as everything else.
4) What character do you write about?
Rogue.
5) Why them, and _not_ someone else?
I've been through this many times so I'll just say that I identify very strongly with Rogue, perhaps too much in some ways. So I find it easy to get into her head and write about her and from her POV.
6) Ever create an original villain? What for?
The villain in A Game of You is original, but that's unfinished. Otherwise, I've mostly used comics villains in my movieverse fic, and known villains in my BtVS fic (even if the Faerie Queen has never appeared in the Jossverse, I didn't make her up).
Villains aren't really that important in my fic.
7) What's your favorite fic you've read? (By someone _else_. This isn't all about you, y'know...)
Adena 1950 by Scott
Safety in Numbers by Elizabeth
A Desperate Attempt by Dark Ferret
Doorway to a Thousand Churches by Loki
The Bradbury Series by Wendi and Hope
8) And the worst?
I'll never tell.
9) What's the one big project you've always meant to do, but have never done?
Redesign my website to match this diary.
Oh, you mean fic-wise?
I'd like to finish Consumption some day. And write the other big fics I've got on my WIP list.
Finish All of Heaven Away and Aching to Be.
10) How much time a day do you spend actively working on fanfiction (Writing, editing, outlining)
Outlining? *snort*
Er, a few hours - 3 or 4 on a good day, not including all the thinking but not-doing.
11) How much time a day do you spend inactively working on fanfiction (Brainstorming, doodling, talking about it with friends)?
There we go. That's probably a good 6-7 hours a day.
12) What's the stupidest mistake you've ever made in fanfic?
Scott's eyebeams being lasers instead of force.
Also the big old plothole that never got fixed in Blood Wedding.
13) What's the most you've spent on comics for the sole purpose of researching a fic?
Nothing.
14) What bizarre crap have you researched to make a story better?
Japanese funeral customs, the morning after pill, amenorrhea, tuberculosis, heroin use, the Holocaust, Vietnam, PTSD, Canadian geography
15) Have you started reading a comic simply because of a fic you wanted to write?
Nope.
16) Truth is stranger than fiction: Do you use real life occurrences in your writing?
All the time.
And just so you know, Hestia is up on my site.
~victoria
link
[current mood: eh]
[current music: Scenes from an Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel]
[random quote: Family, your wishes mean *nothing* to me! ~Al Bundy]
~*~
07.21.02 - 10:12 p.m.
musings on Mercy
Wow, almost another full day away from the internet.
By Saturday, when I'm ready to leave for vacation, I should be almost totally weaned, and not have the shakes or any withdrawal symptoms while I'm away.
I'm doing this without checking my email, and without making blog rounds as of yet, and after I write a little bit about my day, I'm going to talk about the SV fic Mercy.
In the past, I haven't done this, but hell, this is as good a time as any to start, and a good fic to start with. I'll be spoiling it, so if you want to stop reading after the brief bits about my day (or hell, right now *g*), I'll give you a warning.
Last night I was up until about 4am, downloading the OMWF soundtrack as zip files (I don't have my cd burner here, it's at home, or no doubt I'd have been up even later, burning the cd. *g*), but I still managed to get up this morning early enough to make an 11:45 show of Minority Report.
It was good. I liked it, though I have some... they're not big enough to call reservations, but little nits with the ending (come to think of it, I have the same sort of problems with the ending of Mercy. Maybe it's me.).
After I finish here, I'll write up a review for the LJ.
(Edited to add, my report on Minority Report, with spoilers, is up at the LJ.)
Then we went to my sister's for dinner. My niece cooked for all of us - spaghetti al'aglio e olio, or, in English, with garlic and oil.
Very good. Plus she made garlic bread and, because she really likes them, fried potatoes with onions. So it was starch, starch, and more starch.
For dessert she made peanut butter cups, which, even though I don't like peanut butter much, were pretty good.
So it was a successful venture.
Okay, if you haven't read Mercy by Koi, turn back now.
The story is well-written, though it tries too hard in a couple of places - most notably in Lex's dream sequences. Loki *and* Prometheus seems like... overkill.
While I was reading it, I was on AIM with Jenn, who'd recced it. In the middle of the story, while I was still trying to figure out which way the ending would go (I was right, btw), I said to her, "It's good, but it's not fanfic."
Because I don't see Clark ever behaving the way he behaves. Lex was closer to the Lex onscreen, though the cutting was a little... over the top for me.
Lionel, of course, was totally believable, as were Chloe and the Kents.
My problem was with the main thrust of the story. If Clark really *was* an indentured servant sent to spy on earth for his alien masters, it'd be a great story, but it wouldn't be Smallville fanfic, in my opinion.
Having the story end with Clark revealing that everything he admitted in captivity might be a lie, a ruse to save Lex from himself and his father, well... I still don't buy it. It feels contrived.
I felt manipulated throughout the story, and it didn't resonate with me that this was Clark and Lex I was reading about.
Also, and this is the real kicker, the real reason I can't wholeheartedly recommend this story, or even decide if I liked it or not, or if it was really good or not - it seemed.... hollow. It had no heart, no emotional center.
Remember a long time ago, when I talked about graphing authors along a technical/emotional axis, and how a story with technical problems but big emotional punch was better than the other way around?
Mercy, in my opinion, is a story that works on the intellectual level, but it never kicked me in the stomach the way it should have.
I didn't buy into the premise, so I was just reading along, watching and waiting for whatever tricks the author was going to pull out of her hat. And sadly, guessing correctly as to where it was going.
I tend not to be thrilled when I can guess what the intended "shocking" ending is.
Unless, of course, the ending wasn't supposed to be shocking, that we were supposed to get it all along, because yes, Lex is a highly unreliable narrator. Perhaps, from Clark's POV, without the surprise at the end, I might have believed it more, might have felt Clark's desperation and willingness to do whatever he needed to, up to and including effacing himself so totally and allowing himself to be used by Lionel as a tool, in order to save Lex.
As it was, with Lex narrating, I didn't.
A similar story that actually worked for me is X-Manson by D. Benway. It too turns all of a fandom's canon inside out/upside down, but it made an emotional connection first, and it grabbed onto me, in that I could *see* the X-Men in the way the story portrayed them, even though it was totally against canon.
While Mercy could conceivably happen (i.e., Clark could get found out and experimented on, and I wouldn't put it past Lionel, Nixon or Hamilton to do it), I just didn't connect with either Clark or Lex as they were written.
Now, had this been a story with original characters, with similar backgrounds to Clark and Lex (suitably drawn in the story), *then* I think I could have gone with it. But as fanfic for Smallville, I think it misses the mark.
Or maybe, just maybe, I was hoping for the unhappy ending, that it would actually be *true* that Clark was both harbinger and recon for an alien invasion.
Again, I don't think that would have been Smaillville fanfic, but it would have been a deadly ending, if Lex took the leap of faith, and 'Clark' killed him.
Of course, that could also be my newly found angstgrrl tendencies asserting themselves.
Huh.
Now it's time to see if anyone else has to say anything about this story, and if I'm going to be pilloried for not thinking it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
I still have to figure out if I'm going to send feedback to the author, and if I do, what I'm going to say.
If you want to do so - pillory me, I mean - feel free.
~victoria
link
[current mood: tired and headachy]
[current music: Snow - Hikari Oe]
[random quote: All stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you. ~Hemingway]
~*~
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The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.
The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.
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