a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

08.03.02 - 8:54 p.m. I'm back, back in a NewYork Mood Home again, home again, jiggety-jig. Yeah, I'm back. I didn't get to answer *all* the email I'd hoped to, because I have to tell you, no internet connection, a pool, three happy kids and more food than you could shake a stick at meant fandom was far from my mind. Vacation was good. Peaceful. Too short. Amazing, how time gets away from you like that. It seems like I was just floating in the pool in the sunlight, and now I'm at my parents' house (won't be all the way home until Monday night. Sigh.) after 6 hours in the car. Blurgh. I hate traffic. But it was wonderful to be away from it all and just to hang out and swim and lie in the sun and do some shopping. I deleted whole swathes of fic, going back to November, that I know I'd never get around to reading. What a load off. So what'd I miss? I see a couple people answered my Kal-El post, and yes, Naomi, my source told me that "Kal" meant light in the "easy" or "swift" sense, but I chose to ignore that, and go with "light" as well, "light" because it suited my purposes. As for Jerome being for Jerry Siegel, that's most likely true as well, but I was playing around with names, and just found it interesting that they chose Jerome, when they didn't *have* to give him a middle name, did they? What was Schuster's first name? Is that why Lex's middle name is Joseph? I don't know. I'm asking you. *g* Now, off to "catch up" (read: bitch and moan about how much went on while I was away) on the ton of email that's now downloading into my mailbox, and then possible a few blog rounds. Who knows? But I'm back, baby. Hide the knives and the scissors. *g* ~victoria [current mood: sleepy] [current music: I'll Never Tell - Brendon and Caulfield] [random quote: \"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.\" Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias] ~*~ 07.27.02 - 12:45 a.m. "what's in a name?" One last thing... Kal-El in Hebrew means "light god". Seriously. Checked it with my esteemed Yasi, who knows these things. Schuster and Siegel were Jewish. They were writing during WWII. Superman is the ultimate immigrant/refugee who becomes the ultimate American success story. While I understand concerns about how Clark/Superman could become a fascist etc. (and thanks to Eleanor for the non-US view of Superman. Very interesting and understandable. I agree with many of the criticisms of the country, but my gut reaction was that Superman is different. *g* It'd be too long to go into here, as I"m trying to be brief, but suffice it to say, Superman is supposed to represent America and Americans (specifically US-Americans, as opposed to Canadians/Mexicans/South or Central Americans) in the ideal, not in practice. But I digress.), I don't think that's particularly the canon reading of his character. He's *against* fascism or dictatorship or "might makes right". He's the messiah figure, who will lead us out of captivity and oppression and into the promised land. Saving the righteous and the innocent, the widows and orphans, and casting down the wicked. He's Moses, if not Jesus. Though, of course, Lucifer is the light-bringer... of all the angels named, he's the one I recall who doesn't have an "el" in there somewhere. I love names, and why people name the characters what they name them. I tried to use this theme in Nativity, which is *one* reason the fic is named that (obviously the other reason is that it's the birth of Superman. Heh. There's me, who's said I think authors joining a discussion of their own fic is unseemly, flat out telling you what I meant, though I don't know if you got it or not. I would guess people did. It was pretty anvilicious *g*), and why the scarecrow incident is referenced as a crucifixion. And yes, I do believe they meant it that way. Clark-as-Christ is impossible to avoid, really. The problem comes, of course, when he begins to see himself as a god instead of a servant. Kal-El. Light god. Clark, is of course, clerk (still pronounced "clark" in Britain, I'm told) which comes from cleric*, or man of the church. And St. Jerome was a famous philosopher who did some new translations of the bible (new in the 4th century, anyway *g*. Clark Jerome Kent. This is too deep for me. I really only wanted to mention the Kal-El thing, and then I got carried away. I do that sometimes. ~victoria *Cleric, clerk, and clark all come from Latin clricus, “a man in a religious order, a man in holy orders.” Cleric appears in Old English about 975 and lasts into the 13th century. Clerc appears in late Old English, around 1129, and was identical in spelling and pronunciation with Old French clerc, “belonging to the (Christian) clergy.” In the Middle Ages the clergy were the only literate class and were often employed as scribes, secretaries, or notaries. By about 1200 clerc had acquired the meaning “pupil, scholar,” as we see in Chaucer's “clerk of Oxenford” in The Canterbury Tales (around 1386). Clerks were also of necessity employed in keeping accounts and recording business transactions; this is the source of the modern sense of clerk. By the early 17th century, the word clerk had become completely ambiguous; it could refer equally to a clergyman or to an accountant. For this reason cleric (spelled Clericke and with its modern pronunciation) was introduced or reintroduced from Latin or Greek as both a noun and an adjective to refer specifically to a member of the clergy. The pronunciation (klärk), spelled clark and clerk, arose in the south of England during the 15th century and is today the Received Pronunciation of clerk in the United Kingdom. The modern American pronunciation (klûrk) more closely represents the older pronunciation. The pronunciation (klärk) is used in the United States only in the proper name Clark. The south England sound change responsible for the pronunciation (klärk) also gave rise to parson (beside person), varsity (beside university), and even varmint (beside vermin). (from the American Heritage dictionary, via Bartleby, which, if you don't have bookmarked, you should.) link [current mood: wanky] [current music: silence] [random quote: God is greater than that we can imagine. Therefore, God exists. ~St. Anselm, not Jerome. *g*] ~*~ 07.26.02 - 11:07 p.m. on vacation My dad had laser surgery on his eyes today. And also some kind of cold probe done with liquid nitrogen. To his eyes. And he was awake while it was done. That freaks me out more than I can possibly tell you. I have a thing about eye injuries. It makes me nauseous to consider them. I almost barfed during Minority Report. So two weeks ago, he has these weird floaters in his vision and his eye is red. So he goes to the optometrist, who says it looks like the vitreous humor is drying up, something that happens with age, and it's possible there are cracks in his retina. So he sends him to a retinologist. Well, it turns out there were three tears in his retina, which the guy fixed today. He was at the retinologist's office for 5 hours. But he says he can see all right, and that though the eye is irritated, it doesn't really hurt. I'm just glad he's okay. Apparently the retina can tear away completely, and you can go blind. Who knew? So I'm all packed and ready to go. My new bathing suit fits fine, and I am so ready for a week lying by the pool. Oh yes. I guess that's it. See you on the flipside. ~victoria [current mood: excited] [current music: I'll Never Tell - Brendon and Caulfield] [random quote: Am I marrying a demon? We could really raise the beam on making marriage a hell...] ~*~ 07.26.02 - 12:50 p.m. yet more never-to-be-finished fic... Another likely never to be finished fic is up in the LJ. Also, good post here: another look at the feedback conundrum. It's based on a marketing theory, and the idea is that the best item is not always the most popular (e.g., Microsoft, VHS etc.), but because the popular item caught on, it becomes the norm. Grrr.... a co-worker just called me 'Veronica' again. She keeps doing that. And when I correct her she blithely says, "Oh, well, I was close. I knew it was a 'V' name." Stupid berk. ~victoria link [current mood: busy] [current music: I'm Winning - BTO?] [random quote: don't think twice, it's all right] ~*~ 07.26.02 - 11:11 a.m. the death of the traditional musical has been greatly exaggerated Okay, I'll probably say this a few more times today, but if I owe you email, you will probably receive it sometime on Saturday, August 3rd or Sunday August 4th, as I will be on vacation starting tomorrow, and will have no internet access. You know what that means? That means, instead of looking for shiny new toys and wandering from blog to blog, I'll have to deal with what's in my inbox and various folders. It means answering email, and ::cue drumroll:: catching up on reading fic! My attention span is not the greatest. I blame MTV. Or the Internet. Or my 5th grade teacher. I dunno. But if I'm online, chances are that I'm just looking for what's new and what's next, while everything I've already got languishes. So yes, if I owe you email, I will most likely be answering some every night while I'm away, after the fam has gone to bed, and I want to feel like an adult and stay up late. ::snicker:: Okay, the real truth is, I'll be in bed every night by 11 and up every morning by 9, but going by the last couple of years, I managed to be very productive fic and email-wise while away, so the odds are good you'll get your email when I'm back. I hope. I also hope that I can do some writing, maybe finish of Prodigal and get through the Logan-Jean scene in Consumption that's bedeviling me. So I've been listening to OMWF incessantly, trading it and Moulin Rouge in my walkman (with a couple other things thrown in, so I could hear Need to Destroy or Thunder Road when the need arises). So OMWF - my favorite is still "I'm Under Your Spell," which is just gorgeous and so tricky with the double entendres. *g* Amber sounds lovely. I also really love "Walk Through the Fire" and, of course, Sweet's song: "If something's cooking, I'm at the griddle, I bought Nero his very first fiddle." Hinton Battle kicks ass. "Wish I Could Stay" breaks my heart, as does "Standing in Your Way," but I can't seem to separate the song from the meaning in the latter case. It still irks me that Giles thinks he needs to leave. It still makes absolutely no sense in terms of Buffy's growth, their interactions or the actual story arc. Now if, as was speculated on atbvs at the time, Willow had sort of compelled him to leave after their confrontation in... was it Life Serial? (It was Flooded.) The plumbing one (and what kind of terrible fan am I? I can't even identify the eps of the last three seasons by name, except for the ones I really like. All the others blur together. Whereas I can rattle off - in order - every ep from the first three seasons) where he calls her "a rank, arrogant amateur" who doesn't know what she's doing, and she threatens him. I mean, didn't they go through Giles's place in Buffy's life in The Freshman? And with losing Joyce, doesn't that mean she needs him MORE, not less? I mean, parents don't look at their kids and go, "Hey, she's depressed and going nowhere. I'm obviously not helping by giving her my support. I'm in the way. I'll just move 3000 miles away, and she'll get better!" Good parents don't, anyway. Spike's song has grown on me, though I thought JM would have a better voice for some reason (maybe because he plays and sings in bars in LA?). He sounds very generic grunge-facsimile to me. But the more I listen, the more I like it, because it's very true to character, and the words are fun. I'll Never Tell is just wonderful. "She's the cutest of the scoobies with her lips as red as rubies and her firm yet supple... tight embrace." *g* I just really like all the songs except for Life's a Show. Well, I like that too, except for the dissonance at the end, with the "heaven/living" stuff being deliberately off. Aside from the fact that I just don't care much for dissonance (or atonal music or twelve tone music, either), I don't think it was done well in the singing. Relistening hasn't changed that initial opinion. But yeah, I've Got a Theory, Where Do We Go From Here - I love the group singing, but I'm a sucker for musicals, as well, and this is a top notch version of one. It hits all the expected highlights, from the "Up There" type song, the musical comedy stylings of the second leads (Xanya)... This and South Park: BLU convince me that the traditional musical isn't dead - it's just not being done right in most places. I don't include Moulin Rouge because it's most emphatically *not* a traditional musical, though I like it a lot (and love the soundtrack. The Tango Roxanne gives me shivers, in a good way, and I love the Elephant Love Medley, especially how it's the line from "Heroes" that turns everything around, convinces Satine to succumb... sigh... I just find it totally adorable "You, you will be mean." "No I won't!" "And I, I'll drink all the time." "We should be lovers." "We can't do that." "We should be lovers, and that's a fact." "Though nothing will keep us together, we could be lovers, just for one day. We could be heroes forever and ever, we could steal time, just for one day." Love. It. Ewan. Woobie. Heh. Someone was searching for Buffy/Obi-Wan fic. That's just... odd. I posted The Same last night and it's gotten some nice feedback already. Thanks, guys. Remember, email probably not until next week. *g* ~victoria link [current mood: musical] [current music: Elephant Love Medley - Kidman & McGregor] [random quote: \"There are three kinds of liars. Liars, damned liars, and statisticians.\" Benjamin Disraeli] ~*~ 07.25.02 - 11:28 p.m. day of beauty My bosses left early today so I did too. I went for a pedicure and had my eyebrows waxed. I paid extra for the special "spa" pedicure, which included wrapping my feet for five minutes in saran wrap while they were slathered with some sort of metholated lotion, plus an extra bit of massaging, which is always a great thing. I'm very, very ticklish, so a pedicure is always an adventure for me, an exercise in not twitching and jumping like a cat on a hot tin roof while they're working on my feet. Jean, knowing how very ticklish I am (and on the foot massage thing? Jean is the foot fucking master) often wonders how I manage to survive. But I do. There was this annoying woman there asking all sorts of questions about the cleanliness of the place. Now, I don't know about you, but I watch. I see them put the tools into and take them ot of the little microwave looking thingy that sterilizes them. I watched and saw them clean the foot baths with Fantastik before each pedicure. But this woman went on and on about the cleaning because she picked up athlete's foot one time (and my response to that is, don't get a pedicure anymore, or only go to high end spas and bitch *them* out. At their prices, you're entitled), so she's complaining and nattering on, and she got cut by the woman doing her pedicure. Who barely spoke English. Then she demanded an antiseptic and got huffy when they offered her rubbing alcohol. Now, I don't know about you, but in *my* family, every time one of us had a cut or a scrape, my dad was right there with the rubbing alcohol. I'm serious. That shit *hurts*, but it's effective. But this woman refused it. Now yes, had I been cut while my feet were being scraped, I'd be upset too. But I just found it hilariously apropos that the woman doing all the complaining is the one who got cut. She's obviously never seen Seinfeld. ::snicker:: So I am no longer the only woman in NYC with unpainted toenails. They're now a sparkly red. My brows are waxed (which I always find relaxing, and that makes me weird, I know), and when I came home, I took care of my bikini line (which is ridiculous, as I never wear a bikini, and as always, I was overzealous with the Nair, and now, well, let's not go there. *g*) So I have to pack a few minor items to bring with me tomorrow - the laptop, some CDs, possibly another book or two... And now I have to decide if I want to seriously revise The Same down by cutting out all the dialogue, or not. I think that makes it weaker, so I'm guessing it's a not. And if I don't have to worry about word count, maybe I'll add in a few things I left out. Hmm... ~victoria link [current mood: beautiful] [current music: I've Got a Feeling - Pearl Jam] [random quote: \"You don't know, or you don't care?\" \"Pick one.\"] ~*~ 07.25.02 - 4:27 p.m. Alara's Fanfic Survey 1. You obviously have some desire for an audience or you wouldn't be posting your fics to the net. But if you were on a desert island with your computer and a generator to power it, and no one would ever likely read your fics again, would you still write? Probably. I reread my own stuff now. So I'd write and then forget about it, and go back and read it later. I might also let loose with all the Mary Sue tendencies I've held in check. *G* If you would, would you write the same stuff you write now, or something different? Probably a little bit of both. 2. Have you ever written a fic featuring characters, a pairing, a fandom, or a genre that you don't usually write, just to get more feedback? Nope. Ever done the above with characters, pairing, fandom or genre that you actively dislike? Nope. I only write what I like, or, in the case of one fic, to prove to myself that I could. 3. Same as question 2, but: have you ever done it to impress one person or one small group of people in particular? Yes. To impress myself. And the friends who said I couldn't do it. I wrote a Jeanverine fic where they end up together. Of course, Scott and Rogue are both dead, so... 4. Have you ever written a fic just to flirt with someone? Er, no. 5. Has someone ever flirted with you via fic? Not to my knowledge. 6. Have you ever participated in a shared world or RR? Yup. The "Never Have I" and the "Unspoken" RRs. 7. Have you ever written a story in some other ficcer's universe or based on events in their story, when it was not intended to be a shared world or an RR? Yup, with permission. A Thousand Words is an outtake from Jenn's On Love and Lust universe. I've also written two Alter-Eighteens, which is Terri's baby. Again, with permission. If so, did you do it because you liked the person, liked the story, hated the person, or hated the story? Or was there another reason? Liked the person and the story, and when she asked if someone had any ideas, I wanted to see what Kitty was thinking during everything, because she really wasn't featured in the series. 8. Have you ever written a story as a deliberate response to someone else's story? Not another story set in their universe or based on events in their fic, but something they had to say in their fic provoked a response in you that you wrote a story to express, rather than explaining your point of view in a review or feedback. God, yes. My Time Is Gonna Come was inspired by Jane St Clair's All of the Animals. Things Change was inspired by Sare Liz's No Secret At All. 32 Flavors was a response to all the Jean bashing going on, as well as an exorcism of my own Jean issues. 9. Have you written autobiographical fic? I've used details from my own life in stories, yeah. 10. Have you written biographical fic (used other people's real lives in your fic?) Yeah. If so, was the person a ficcer, an RL friend or family member who you met through non-ficcing avenues, or a famous person you don't really know personally? Almost all of these at one point or another. No famous people, though. I don't think, anyway. 11. Have you deliberately put real people you know in fic? If so, was it to honor them, get revenge on them, or just because they seemed like a good character to use? I've used the names of people I know, as a shout out to my betas. 12. Have you ever given up on a story because it was getting no feedback? What about a genre, character, pairing or fandom? No, no, and no. If I have the need to write a story, I write the story. 13. Have you ever given up on a fandom, or a subset of it (fans of a specific genre, character or pairing), because of the fan politics? No. I've given up some forms of interaction (e.g., I left alt.tv.homicide because of the virulence of the umpteenth Mahoney Shoot discussion) but never on a fandom as a whole. 14. When you prioritize the fics you want to write, do you keep what will please the audience best in mind, or do you base it solely on your personal feelings about the material? I base it solely on my feelings. Sometimes, if enough people ask, I'll try to move something up on the list, but if it's not working, it's not working, and if something else is, that gets my attention. I'm not particularly audience friendly, in some ways. 15. Do you ever incorporate "fanon" (things many writers have said about characters, that were never established in the canon source) into your work knowingly? (That is, you know canon doesn't back it up, but you decide to use it anyway.) If so, do you use it because you independently came to the same conclusion, because it was such a cool idea, or because using it will make your work better liked? Or some other reason? I've taken things that seem logical, like the kissing through scarves for Rogue, but for the most part, I try to actively, consciously not use too much fanon. I feel it's limiting. On the other hand, if someone comes up with a really cool idea, I'll use it if it works in a story. 16. You get into a new fandom and you fall in love with a specific character. You go online and find out: - there are no stories about this character. What do you do? Write 'em. - all the stories, practically speaking, are about this character. What do you do? Gnash my teeth and wail a bit, then write, if I feel the need to. I've felt no need to write West Wing fic, for example. 17. Do you have friends online? Do you feel you will lose them if you don't write fic? What if you write fic in a different fandom? I've managed to stay friends with people after I've stopped being in regular contact via the usual fannish fora, so I think I'd stay close with the people I'm interested in staying close to, just like every other friendship I've got. ~*~ Went shopping at lunch. Bought a new bathing suit - a Speedo. I really hope it fits well. Also got a few toe rings. Gotta paint my toenails and such tonight. One more day until vacay. Woohoo! ~victoria link [current mood: chatty] [current music: Smooth - Santana & Rob Thomas] [random quote: you wouldn't even know a diamond if you held it in your hand / the things you think are precious I can't understand] ~*~ 07.25.02 - 1:34 p.m. still testing. still testing... just ignore me. *g* The counting doesn't seem to work, but that could just be the old Netscape conflicting with java... ~victoria [current mood: ] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 07.25.02 - 12:59 p.m. comments? Am checking out comments feature. Must find linkage for advertising service, as well. Feel free to leave a comment. I have no idea if I've done this right. There was also something else I wanted to say, but I've forgotten it in the confusion my boss sometimes leaves me in. Nothing is ever straightforward. Everythings is always couched in these complicated terms. For example, he wanted me to make some edits on a document someone else had already edited. We're using track changes. He wanted me to make it on the document that someone else (CNG, actually) edited already. Then he wanted me to save it as a new document with those changes still marked, and in a copy with the changes accepted. Easy enough, right? Yet it took him 10 minutes to explain it to me, because he kept referring back to the original, original document, which we've left in its original state. ::shakes head:: I'm easily confused I guess. Too much like my mother, who we've always teased about being flakier than struedel. *G* Now, comment away, and let's see it this works. Edited to add: I wonder if I have to paste it into each entry, or what... It shows up when I put it in the entry template, but now will all the comments be counted on one entry or something? Hmm... must investigate... ~victoria link ~*~ [current mood: curious] [current music: Mother's Little Helper - Stones] [random quote: no more running for the shelter of your mother's little helper] ~*~ 07.25.02 - 10:50 a.m. I don't understand fashion It's 20 to 11 in the am and I have a headache already. This is never a good thing. I haven't started my breakfast yet because I had a mailing to do, but it's done now, and that sweet sweet bagel is *mine*. I have some thoughts and I'm hoping someone can help me out here. Fashion. I. Don't. Get. It. I'm the first to admit that I'm not a clotheshorse. I'm not thin enough. When I was thinner, I loved buying clothes. I like dressing up and feeling pretty as much, if not more, than anyone, but I don't think my view of "what's pretty" matches with a lot of people's. Or, rather, their aesthetics don't match mine. I'm learning to deal with this. I'm a horrible snob, I know, especially for someone with so little flair for fashion - I have two modes - jeans and t-shirts/sweaters (depending on season) and dressed for work (which may include khakis and a nice crisp white shirt, or an endless variety of black skirts, dresses and pants). I'm a fashion conservative. I admit this. However... Some things I saw today that I cannot fathom. 1. Woman with a demin skirt on that has two huge bleach stains on the back, covering her buttocks and extending down to mid-thigh. She looked like she'd sat in something. At first, from a distance, I thought she was wearing a buttless skirt or something. It was ugly. Very, very ugly. And incomprehensible to me. 2. A woman on the subway platform was carrying a tote bag made of ASTROTURF. What the FUCK? 3. A woman on the train had a lovely pair of black and red slides on - very cool, broad black band over the toes, skinny red band crossing it at an angle. But... but... the dress she had on had NO RED in it. It wasn't heinous, though I wouldn't have worn it. The main colors were purple, orange and turquoise, but it wasn't actually as bad as it sounds. It wsa in some sort of geometric/diamond plaid pattern. But the sandals... the sandals didn't *go* at all. They didn't match. They didn't complement. They just looked freaking WEIRD. Of course, she also had shaved her eyebrows and drawn them back on with eyeliner, giving her a permanently surprised look, but let's not talk about that. I'm trying hard to accept that not everyone has my sense of aesthetics. I really am. I don't expect to see something tasteful or stylish (in the good way) from designers at the seasonal shows or in Vogue or whatever (I gave up on Vogue in high school). But, but... people... ::sputters:: A purse made of Astroturf? And another question, while I've got you here (if you've even stuck around) - how do you tell the difference between people who dress badly because, well, they have no taste, and people who dress badly because they think it's "cool" or "ironic" to look like a moron from the '70s or '80s, with a bad shag haircut and a stupid brown ski cap in 90 degree weather, not to mention ugly brown pants and a green and white horizontal striped top? Shouldn't cool people *know better*? AAAUUGGH... The fashion disasters I see every day just reinforce my own navy/khaki/olive/black choices. ::shakes head:: Like I said, I like to look pretty, and if I find a style I like, I stick to it, regardless of what's 'in' or 'out'. I was wearing clunky black boots and long flowery skirts long before they came in, and I still wear 'em now that they're out. They're pretty. The skirt I have on today is pretty - straight, with a slit up the side, a silvery grey with black embroidered flowers on it. And a black t-shirt. Simple. Basic. Tasteful. ::shakes head:: I just don't. Get. It. And my sense of aesthetics is highly disturbed. When I rule the world, I'm outlawing a lot of things, and bad fashion is one of the first. ~*~ Ooh, I forgot - update at Zendom - Tips for Writers. Good stuff. Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: baffled] [current music: Hey You - Pink Floyd] [random quote: I've got a theory - it could be bunnies] ~*~ 07.24.02 - 11:44 p.m. updates Updated the site tonight: Logan's Little Problem, in which Logan meets Frank Costanza and Kramer. Think 'manboobs'. *eg* Nativity, in which Clark considers family and destiny. and Dance With Destiny in which Buffy does the same. And could that title be any lamer? Except it's not as lame as the others I was looking at, and I kinda like it. *g* Still editing down We're the Same, which is now called The Same, and pondering my own take on the Temptation of Wolverine, as it's making the round of rumors about X2. I may have to write that before the sequel comes out. And does the fact that Ray Park and Tyler Mane aren't in the sequel mean that Toad and Sabes are dead? 'Cause that would Joss a hell of a lot of fanfic. Heh. The other thing that's tickling at the edges of my brain is an Alias fic possibility... a defining moment fic for Sydney's mom. I'd have to do a lot of looking around, though, because I don't have the show on tape and I'd need to get the canon correct. Hmm... Back to editing, and staring at the longer fics that need finishing. I just don't have the stamina for long fic. That's an entry in and of itself though, so I'll just say buh-bye now. ~victoria link [current mood: accomplished] [current music: Going through the motions - SMG] [random quote: it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing] ~*~ 07.24.02 - 5:48 p.m. We're the Same This is supposed to be a defining moment fic for Rogue, but I'll be goddamned if I can figure out what the hell the defining moment actually *is*, unless it's just trusting her judgement, making the decision, accepting that she's a mutant? It's also, in its current state, 150 words too long, but that can be fixed (somewhat) with careful editing. I think I like it, regardless. We're the Same It's not just the way he looks with his shirt off, in the cage. It's not attraction. Well, it is. She's honest enough to admit that, though she knows that never in a million years will she be his type. What man would look at a girl who can't be touched when he could have any woman in the province? So it's not *just* attraction, though that's part of it. It's... knowledge. She knows he's different, can see it in the way he moves, the way he keeps rising, when a normal man would stay down. He's graceful as a lion, but undamaged even after what feels like hours of fighting. She knows they're the same. The knowledge prickles along her deadly skin as she watches him, and waits. Later, she's alone at the bar, worried that he's left without her, that the connection she's feeling is nothing but exhaustion, imagination and hormones working overtime combining into this sensation dancing along her nerves. She eyes the tip jar longingly, unable to recall the last good meal she's had, when he sits down and says, "Beer." He glances over at her, and her heart races. He feels it, too. They never quite make eye contact, but they play a little game of sidelong glances as the bartender changes the channel on the television. His attention is caught by the word mutant, and she crows victory to herself. She was right. They *are* the same. The big bald man from earlier taps him on the shoulder and angry words are exchanged as she looks on, aware that this is important. "I know what you are," the biker whispers, and she sees the glint of a knife. She reacts without thinking. "Look out!" And things move at lightning speed, too fast for her to figure out right then and there. The Wolverine is standing, metal claws extending from his hands, his lips drawn back in a snarl. After he's shredded the bartender's shotgun and stalked out, she looks around, realizing that they all know now that she is like *him*, and that she needs to leave, fast. She rushes out into the early morning light and scans the parking lot. There. He's sitting in the cab of a trailer, and she takes a deep breath, again acting on instinct, not thought. Part of her, the sensible, quiet, *normal* part, is screaming at her to run as she sneaks into the back of his trailer. What kind of lunatic is she trusting? But the part of her she's come to think of as Rogue is sure that he will help her, that he already feels the connection vibrating between them. And she did save his life, after all. That's got to be worth something, even to a surly, hairy guy with big metal claws. She slips beneath the tarp and soon the rocking motion of the trailer puts her into a light doze. When they stop, she holds her breath, hoping he won't notice her hiding in the flatbed, but he does. Poke, poke. "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm sorry. I needed a ride. I thought you might help me." "Get out of there." She climbs out, doubting her judgement. "Where am I supposed to go?" "I don't know." "You don't know, or you don't care?" "Pick one." As he gets back into the truck, she plays her trump card. Maybe he doesn't feel the connection, maybe she made it all up, but-- "I saved your life." "No, you didn't." He leaves her standing in the road. She's close to crying. It's cold, she hasn't eaten in days, and she's pinned her hopes on the wrong man. He drives about twenty feet before he stops again, and she says a little prayer of thanks to the god she no longer believes in as she joins him in the cab. She is right. They're the same. He just doesn't know it yet. ~fin~ I'm thinking I'll call the Logan POV "People Like Us". Heh. Comments? ~victoria link [current mood: tired] [current music: Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts] [random quote: I know I got a bad reputation, and it isn't just talk talk talk...] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables