a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

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08.10.02 - 5:47 p.m. mine, mine, mine Mine. It's all mine. I know I'm being cryptic right now, but soon you all shall know. I'm just so excited that it's mine. Hee! Still trying to finish the world's cheesiest fanfic. I'll put it up here later, when it's done, so all y'all can laugh and point. Yes, it is that bad. Ah me, I'm hungry. ~victoria off to search for food... [current mood: greedy] [current music: news in the background] [random quote: For the ones who had the notion / the notion deep inside / that it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive] ~*~ 08.09.02 - 2:21 p.m. Comparisons are odious So I'm just getting down to having lunch now, because G is gone. he was insane today, though not as bad as I feared he'd be. See, we're having an internal audit done in two weeks' time, and he's going on vacation starting today. He'll be out all next week. He was in charge of organizing our whole department's contribution to the process, which resulted in two huge binders full of boring documents on procedures etc. I waited for him to leave before going to get lunch because I've found it's usually best not to disappear for any length of time longer than it takes to pee when a boss is trying to clear his/her plate before heading out on vacation. I always work for these workaholic, Type A types, so I've learned this lesson well. In between working, I've managed to put together the post I mentioned yesterday. It's not so much about hierarchies, though I think that would be an interesting thing to do - survey fans in various fandoms across the board and find out what their perception is of the "genre hierarchy" in their particular fandom and in Fandom-At-Large, and then try to find out their actual experiences. it would take someone with more time and survey designing experience than I've got, so I'm just going to write about my perceptions and experiences as a writer who writes both slash and het, as well as gen fic. Okay, the whole thing started with a misunderstanding, as many things in my life do. There was a discussion on zendom of an article about slash in one of the major newspapers (The London Times?) and there was reference made to something called "hetslash," which strikes me, and many others who actually write fanfiction and don't just write about it for an article and then forget about it, as an oxymoron. How can something be het *and* slash? (I mean, beyond the obvious of having more than one relationship going on in the story, where there's a het pairing and a slash pairing, or one character moves from one type of relationship into another (i.e., Scott Summers leaving Jean for Warren or Clark leaving Lex for Lois.) Anyhow, that's not my point here. I was under the mistaken impression that someone had made a blanket statement about Fandom and totally disregarded the het and gen sides of it, as if slash were the only thing that mattered. Definition of terms: For the purposes of this diary in general, and this entry in particular, Fandom with a capital "F" is Fandom-At-Large, or the whole enterprise of being a fan, including - but not limited to writing/reading/archiving fanfic (or fan art), participating in online discussion groups without writing or being involved in fanfic at all [though for the purposes of this discussion, I'm only focussing on the fanfic parts of things], going to cons, buying merchandise, staging write-in campaigns, etc. etc. Fandom with a capital "F" is far larger than just us, in my book. Sports fans and music fans and other types of people who care passionately [fanatically, even, though many hate that derivation of the word] about their avocation belong under the general rubric of Fandom, to me, and that's why I capitalize it, to distinguish it from 'fandom' in the sense of "I write fic in the BtVS fandom" or "I hate the politics in HP fandom" or any individual section of fandom (slash, het, gen, noromo, whatever). Slash, to me, is defined as non-canonical, same sex relationships. I know there's a lot of debate about the non-canonical part of it, so for the purposes of this particular entry, just drop the "non-canonical" part. There does not need to be actual sex in order for a story to be slash, in my opinion. Het, is, obviously, fiction that focuses on a heterosexual relationship, again, with or without actual sex involved. Gen stands, to the best of my knowledge, for "General Audiences". It does not focus on romantic relationships at all, usually, but on familial or platonic ones, or on action/adventure type stories, episode-related type stories (also known as casefiles), comedy of the non-romantic sort. Gen fic usually does not contain anything objectionable in the way of sex, violence, language, mature themes, etc., which kind of leaves me in a quandary as I try to hash this out, because what the hell is something that *has* "mature content" in the way of violence or drugs or something but no sex? Is it "adult"? Is there some other way we have of identifying this? I generally don't write action/adventure fic, and when I do have violence in my stories, there's usually some romance going on, so I tend to categorize it as "het" or "shipper" fic anyway. And as far as I'm concerned, slash belongs under the "shipper" header. Because what else is it but about a relationship (even when it's about more than that, if it's slash, at some point it's about the relationship)? See, this is why labels suck, because once you have one for one thing, you need one for every thing. Okay, remember as always, all "you"s in this are generic and directed at no one in particular. Also, again as always, my diary, my opinions. Feel free to disagree. Just try and be intelligent about it. And thirdly - I am in no way discounting OR condoning any of the homophobia (both covert and overt) that leads many people to dismiss slash out of hand, nor am I discounting the misogyny that runs through fanfic in most fandoms (to a disturbing degree in some cases since many, many writers of fanfic are women themselves). I'm just not discussing the people who dismiss slash or het on the basis of bigotry or stupidity of that particular nature. The stupidity I'm discussing is more of a snobbish thing (that's not to say, though, that there probably isn't an element of bigotry in some of it, or reverse-bigotry. But one thing that really rubs my rectum the wrong way is when someone immediately leaps to the "homophobe" conclusion if I say, "Oh, I don't think Frank Pembleton is slashy and doubt he would ever seriously engage in sex with Tim or Gee." I like slash as much as the next person, and am not a homophobe. I just don't see anything in Pembleton's character or nature that makes me think he's interested in men. But I digress.) So this is cobbled together from various posts I've made on zendom in the past few days. I've been *very* talkative, which is a surprise to no one who knows me. *g* Also, again, not directing any actual *ire* at slashers in general, though it will seem that way from some things I'm saying. Because of my experience in fandom, I've always been under the impression that slash is the 800-lb gorilla of Fandom, that all "the best" writers write it almost exclusively, that it's the pinnacle of fanfiction from a *writing* perspective. And I dispute that. Slashers can think their shit is all that and a bag of chips. I don't care. What I do care about is the subtle snobbery and condescension people show me when they find out I write mostly het fic, with a healthy side of gen fic, in addition to some slash. I object to the idea that slash is *inherently better* than any other kind of fanfiction, just like I object to the idea that "mainstream literary" fiction is inherently better than genre fiction. (And look at the lengths some pro fic authors will go to not to have their books labeled as or shelved with the science fiction or fantasy or romance books, because of course, those books are sectioned off away from the "Fiction and Literature" section many authors prefer to be in. Life is always like high school. Remember that. Everyone always wants to be in the cool club, though no one's definition of what the "cool club" is ever matches anyone else's exactly.) Good writing is good writing, and people shouldn't slag one kind just to elevate another, even if it's one that they like. *That's* what I'm trying to say. I never said slashers needed to read gen or het. I just said I don't like to see those genres *marginalized* in a discussion of fanfiction, because fanfiction encompasses MORE than just slash, and there are some great het stories and some great gen stories as well as great slash stories, and while one may not be interested in reading them, I don't think it's right, fair or good judgement to dismiss them out of hand as bad *because they're not what you like.* I think RPS is squicky. I think it's morally questionable at best, and even if it weren't, for the most part, boybands are a boil on the buttocks of the music industry in my opinion and should *all* be shot out into space, sans oxygen. HOWEVER, I know that of the large number people who currently indulge in RPS, many of them are very good writers. I'm sure there are spectacularly written RPS stories out there, that I will never read. I would NEVER say, "All RPS sucks because people are just putting their own masturbatory fantasies down on paper" because I know that's not true. And yet I do hear similar things from people when they find out I write het - "Really? There's so much bad het out there. It sucks. It's full of Mary Sues and people who can't spell their own names." Well, yeah. But so is slash. Obviously, it's not a perfect analogy, because I do think RPS has some issues tied up with it that regular fan fiction does not, but it's close enough for government work, I think. 90% of everything is crap, and slash fiction is no exception to that rule. Neither are het fiction nor general audience fiction, nor published fiction, for that matter. It's one thing to say, "I don't like this story because I think it's badly written. The characters are flat, the plot has holes, the dialogue is stilted, the heroine is a Mary Sue." It's another to say, "On the basis of [the above crappy story - all by its lonesome], all het/gen/slash (science fiction/romance/comedy/technothriller/white, middle-aged, suburban divorced angst) fic is bad." The former is fine and dandy. The latter chaps my ass. Some people will say that slash is superior because of its transgressive or subversive nature, in taking characters who do not appear, on the surface (i.e., in the text) to be gay, and yet putting them into a realistic same sex relationship based on a deeper reading of their interactions (i.e., the subtext) (which is why I don't think Willow/Tara or any canonical same sex pairing is truly slash, because well, to quote my dear Giles, the subtext *rapidly* became text there, and those of you who were living in denial throughout season 4 are just silly). But I think, if you're going to use the "slash is transgressive" argument, then it can easily be extrapolated to "fanfic is transgressive." I don't think that slash is a rebellion these days. I think in fandom it's actually more the establishment than not. However, I think that if you're into that whole argument (and I waver on it. It's certainly not *my* reason for writing fanfic, at least on the surface), I think the argument *should* be that the very best fanfiction will be subversive of or transgressive against the canon text. Because the whole point is to write as much like the show as possible, and yet go places the creators never would. Sometimes, that's slash. Sometimes, it's other things. I'm not saying people should read what they don't want to read or don't like. I'm saying people shouldn't condemn or dismiss *out of hand* other genres of fic as being *badly written* or crap or whatever, because they don't like them. Which you'd think most people would kinda know, but unfortunately, not. *g* *That's* my hot button issue (one of many, actually) - whether they're condemning slash, het or gen. Don't make sweeping generalizations like, "All slash is ishy and about nothing but sex." or "All het is badly written and riddled with Mary Sues" or "gen fic is always so freaking boring." Because none of those is true, and yet I've seen and heard them offered as arguments against each genre. I think what really bugs me, at bottom, is that there's always this perception that slashers, having been marginalized and oppressed themselves, and writing about a segment of society who are still marginalized, are more open-minded and all-embracing, when, in fact, some of the time (notice the qualifiers please), slashers are as damned close-minded and reactionary as the most anti-slash het writers. Nobody's more conservative than the revolutionaries the day after the revolution, eh? So I think, what with all the talk floating around various fandoms about how open-minded and accepting slash fans are, I was actually *more* disappointed with this type of behavior than I would have been otherwise. I guess I was expecting fandom utopia with everyone holding hands and singing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" and I found the same type of BS and politics and prejudices on the slash side as there are on the het side. Does that make sense? ~victoria gonna eat my pizza now. link [current mood: hungry] [current music: For You - Bruce Springsteen] [random quote: I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?] ~*~ 08.08.02 - 12:24 p.m. Bashers and Haters and Buts I've been thinking about character bashing, and character hating, and well... they're not the same thing. Work with me here. There are lots of characters in lots of works of fiction that I don't like. There are even some that I would go so far as to say I hate/loathe/despise with every fiber of my being. *g* Sometimes it's a testament to the author - if they've created a villain so loathesome that I'm supposed to have that reaction, then they've done their job, right? However, we're talking about hating characters that the author wants us to love, or like, or, at the very least, tolerate. *g* Sometimes it's a matter of just not connecting with a given character (I couldn't care less about Harmony, say, or Anakin Skywalker as he appears in AotC. I have little interest in Mystique, though I think there could be fabulous fic written about her, and Remy just annoys me), but that's not going to engender *hatred*. There's a certain failure, I think, on the *writer's* part, when a character everyone is supposed to love is instead reviled. I went through the comparison of Lana and Willow, both of whom are *far* from perfect, but who are allowed to get away with their bad behavior not because of any inherent charm (like, say, Lex or Spike [though Spike's continued survival is based more on JM's contract and sheer stupidity on the Scoobies' parts, which I don't think the writers want us to think about]), but simply because nobody notices, or if they *do* notice, all is forgiven immediately, because Willow bakes cookies and talks babytalk, or Lana organizes a blood drive or her parents are dead (I'm not sure you're aware of that. But yes, Lana's parents are dead. Crushed by the meteors when she was 3). So generally speaking, I dislike characters when they are clearly shown to have flaws - good, *interesting*, makes them a complex character type flaws - and yet the writers gloss over them and have *the other characters* do the same. As I've said in other circumstances, don't hand me shit and call it shinola. Do I think all fictional people who do bad things should be punished? No. But I also think that if I'm supposed to sympathize with a character week after week, or issue after issue, and s/he's shown to have all sorts of real live human character flaws (which would make her relatable and *lovable*, if not always likeable) but the *writers* don't address these flaws, or treat them as non-existent, I get annoyed. And usually with the character (and the ones who are blind to his/her faults), though also with the writers. There are other reasons that *I* personally dislike characters. I don't even know a damned thing about Mariko except that she made Logan cry. So yeah, she was under mind control and that's a mitigating factor, but dammit, I can't forgive her that. I've already discussed my Boromir problems, though I think I've come to a better understanding of him 1. now that I'm an adult, 2. because of dialogue in the movie that wasn't in the books and 3. Sean Bean. Yum. *g* As for Jean, I'm with Beth. Sick of discussing it. However, I will, one more time. *g* The thing is this. I can dislike a character all I want. I don't think there's anything *wrong* with that. I don't have to like every person I meet (god knows, I don't) and the same applies to fictional characters, with the extra added attraction that I can hate them and not feel bad, because they're fictional. They don't have feelings to hurt. *G* But And it's a mighty big "But" Once my dislike/loathing of a character seeps into my writing, it's a problem. I can write all the posts I want to about Buffy's irresponsible behavior in The Gift, and how I don't think she was heroic and I don't think Giles should have condoned her actions etc. (And believe me, I did. You could look it up. Or ask Sarah T. *g*) But if I cannot keep my intense disrespect for the position that Buffy took *out* of my fiction, that's a problem. It's fine to have a character or two disagree with what Buffy did, but if my feelings start to warp the way I write her as a character, I should just stop. Right. There. That goes for Jean Grey, Lana Lang, Boromir, Xander, Riley, Willow, Kirk and whomever else is afflicted with this horrid... affliction. So, to recap, since I've been interrupted numerous times by both work and fannish things: * Hating a character is A-OK with me. You don't even need a good reason in the end, though if it's a character *I* happen to like, I'll debate with you 'til the cows come home *g* * Letting your hate of said character warp their characterization in a story (without any good reason within the story to explain this completely over-the-top or diametrically opposed to canon characterization, of course. If they're possessed by demons or something, knock yourself out *g*) is Bad. It's bad writing, bad characterization and just all around BAD and writers who do it ought to be thwapped with a rolled up newspaper. If you don't like someone and can't separate those feelings from the character while you're writing about them, don't write about 'em. I fail to see why that's so hard. Gah. I forgot: WitchQueen said most of this already, and said it better. *g* ~*~ Am involved in a big long discussion about slash, het and their apparent places in fandom hierarchies. Am thinking about collecting my posts, polishing 'em and posting them here as one big rant. But later. Must do actual work now. Sigh. ~victoria link [current mood: argumentative] [current music: Rearviewmirror - Pearl Jam] [random quote: Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness!] ~*~ 08.08.02 - 12:23 a.m. exorcising my Boromir demons My dwarf index is 2: hungry and sleepy. I'm sure you've all been waiting for this with bated breath (and if you've been waiting with baited breath, eeww! go away. I don't want your fishy stink here), but Boromir's damned death scene took longer than freakin' Camille's. *eg* Still unbeta'd and untitled, but edited a few times already by moi. I just can't look at it anymore tonight. I hope it's not craptacular. I'm not sure. Anyhow, the working title has wavered between "Amends" and "Requiescat in Pace", but title suggestions are welcome. *g* *** It preys on his mind. Since the day Frodo first set it upon the podium at Rivendell, he has thought of little else in the few spare moments he has. He rescued it from the snows of Caradhras, felt its weight dangling on the chain the Halfling wears about his neck. He carried Frodo as well, caught him on the steps as Moria crumbled around them. It is a band of gold, nothing more, and yet the weight of the world rests upon it, upon him and the others. He is willing, even eager, to bear it, but they won't let him. It haunts his dreams, its venom leaching slowly into his mind and heart. It was a dream that set his feet upon this path, and it is dreams that lead him astray. He dreams of its power -- his power, his glory. His birthright. And yet they keep it from him. First Gandalf, Elrond and the Elves. He knows that they think little of the race of Men, blaming Isildur for doing the sensible thing and keeping the Ring to fight his enemies. He sees them counsel with Aragorn, a Man who has turned his back on Gondor and all Boromir holds dear. He watches as they defer to the Halfling, and anger rises in him. He is a son of Gondor and his city is on the brink of destruction. They can save it with the power of the Ring, and they will not. He's trying desperately to be the son his father wants, the hero his people needs (or need?), and he feels thwarted at every turn. In the moments before sleep each night he ranks his place in the hierarchy of the Company, comparing himself to the other and always, always coming up short. He is not Isildur's Heir. He is not the Ringbearer. He is not worthy, a voice inside his head whispers, sounding remarkably like his father. He was chosen for the journey *to* Rivendell, but his place in the Company of the Ring is almost incidental. He would have had to go home regardless, and better this way, with at least a chance of convincing them to go West to Minas Tirith before they destroy the Ring utterly. Had he returned home alone, with nothing, he wouldn't be worthy even of calling himself the Heir to the Steward of Gondor. Not worthy. The words sting, as such half-truths carried on from childhood always do, especially for one so proud as he. He was always his father's favorite, but there were times when even that was not enough, and that is what he's reminded of now, as the others disregard him in favor of Aragorn or Gandalf, or, even worse, the Halfling. 'But with the Ring you would be worthy,' says the voice in the back of his mind. It still sounds like his father, which makes it all the more difficult to resist. The thought gnaws at him as he submits gracelessly to Gandalf's leadership. He feels real pain when the wizard is lost in Moria. He is human, after all. But part of him -- in the subterranean vaults of his soul -- knows that there is one less obstacle between him and his goal. He speaks the truth when he tells Aragorn he cannot rest in Lorien. Thoughts of his father, his people, and always -- *always* -- the Ring, circle like ravening wolves in his mind. What he could do with it upon his return to Minas Tirith. The sound of silver trumpets welcoming him home. The acclaim of his people and the honor of history will be his. Instead of Isildur, Men will speak of Boromir of Gondor, and his triumph over the fell hordes of Minas Morgul. His father's pleasure and blessing. All that and more will be his. It's as if the Ring speaks to him -- knows his darkest desires and how to make them come true. He knows Galadriel has seen his heart and he's afraid. Afraid of what she saw, of what he feels. Of what will happen if he gives into the demons lurking in his heart and in his mind. He is strong, but stronger men than he have succumbed. He can admit that to himself with a candor he rarely indulges in. He has become an expert at lying to himself, at telling himself he doesn't want it, doesn't need it, cannot have it. The path of sanity, of honor, narrows with every step they take toward Mordor, and deception is the only thing keeping him on it. He vows he will not stray, and every day is a test of his will. But the closer they get to the split in the road, the stronger he believes he's becoming. Until he finds Frodo alone in the grass at Parth Galen. A fever clouds his mind and he cannot tell the difference between waking and dreaming anymore. His dreams are there for the taking and he uses what guile he possesses to try and convince Frodo to give him the Ring, or, failing that, come to the White City himself and be hailed as a hero, a savior. Frodo vanishes at his harsh words, and he's no longer sure what's real and what isn't. A few moments elapse, and the shadow passes from his mind. "What have I done?" he cries, distraught that he -- the best Gondor has to offer -- has failed, and worse, doomed Gondor to ruin. And then he sees them. Merry and Pippin, being chased by orcs the likes of which he's never before encountered. He draws his sword and fights like a madman, letting the rage and anguish he feels guide his movements, felling his enemies, protecting the hobbits. That is his mission now, his redemption, as the first arrow strikes him in the chest. He continues to fight with fury. The fate of the world rests on the strength of his arm and his ability to keep Frodo safe from the orcs, from the others. From himself. He goes down again, blood loss making him dizzy, and yet still he rises. He has the breath yet to blow the Horn of Gondor, summoning aid. His pride is no longer the first of his concerns -- the Halflings are more important than even his father's blessings. He falls and is preparing himself for the end when Aragorn leaps from the trees and defeats the orc captain, beheading him in a spray of blood and gore. Speech is hard, but he manages. He is strong enough for that. "They took the little ones." "Hold still," Aragorn says, keeling before him and pushing the lank, sweaty hair off his forehead. "Shh." "Frodo?" he asks. "Where is Frodo? "I have let Frodo go," Aragorn replies. "Then you have done what I could not." He feels shame burning in him, more painful than even the wounds that kill him, but he needs to confess, to gather what's left of his honor around him like a tattered cloak before the better man. "I tried to take the Ring from him." "The Ring is beyond our reach now." He reaches up and grasps Aragorn's hand (shoulder? Check movie again) as tightly as he can. "Forgive me," he pleads. "I did not see it. I have failed you all." "No, Boromir. You fought bravely. You have kept your honor." He is not worthy of Aragorn's kind words. His pride, his belief in his own worth has led to this, his downfall. And he knows now that it's not about him. Had he been more worried about Middle-Earth, instead of his own glory, he might have realized that sooner. Aragorn's hands move over his chest, seeking to remove the arrows and attempt to staunch the flow of blood. "Leave it," he manages. He knows he is dying. "It is over. The world of Men will fall, and all will come to darkness, and my city to ruin." He grabs his hand, pleads with him silently, the taste of blood bitter in his mouth. Aragorn looks at him, his eyes shadowed with pain and sadness, yet the promise great wisdom resides in them, too. "I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall, our people fail." "Our people?" he asks, and a ray of hope, so long banished from his sight, appears. Aragorn nods, and Boromir knows he's a man of his word. "Our people," he says again, on a sigh of relief. The king will return to Gondor, and his city shall not fall. He makes the smallest of gestures with his hand, using up what's left of his strength. Aragorn is a warrior, he understands. Aragorn places the sword in his hand, and he brings it to his chest. "I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king." "Be at peace, son of Gondor," his king whispers, and the light fades. End *** so, I'm for bed now, I think. ~victoria link [current mood: hungry and sleepy] [current music: America (Live) - S&G] [random quote: They've all come to look for America...] ~*~ 08.07.02 - 11:12 a.m. Legolas is STILL my boyfriend. Watched FotR on DVD last night. Watched the ten minute preview of Two Towers, which looks absolutely FABulous, except for two minor exceptions - Faramir looks like I always pictured Boromir (I'm not letting this go. Honestly, Viggo Mortenson looks far more like I pictured Faramir than David Wenham does), and there were NO ENTS in the preview. Eowyn and Eomer look just like I pictured. The sets for Edoras and Helms Deep are PHENOMENAL, and Gandalf's back in white. *g* Gandalf is also my boyfriend, in the most platonic way, just 'cause there ain't no one cooler in the movie, than ol' Mithrandir, even if the battle between him and Saruman is still kind of wanky. As for FotR itself, I'm so happy they cut out the whole, "Moving across the Brandywine" bit, as well as Tom Bombadil and Bill Ferny. Really speeds things up. I'm reconciled to Arwen instead of Glorfindel at the ford, and it doesn't really bother me. In fact, I prefer that she show up and *do* something early on than just be the distant love interest. The Council at Rivendell isn't how I pictured it - I always pictured a long conference table indoors, so it throws me a little, but whatever. Not a complaint. And Bilbo's freak-out still gives me a wiggins. In the movie I gasped and almost fell out of my seat when he turned into that Gollum-faced creature for a moment. ::shudder:: I wish he'd been at the conference. one of my favorite parts is when he says, "I know what you're saying. 'Bilbo got us into this and Bilbo had better get us out of it.'" (I also happen to like the "Earendil was a mariner / who tarried in Arvenien / and built a boat of timber felled / in Nimbrethil to journey in" poem, and sadly, I did not have to look that up.) But you can't have everything. The only part that I totally think was done *wrong* was the Sword That Was Broken. One of my favorite moments in the trilogy is when Boromir questions who Aragorn is that they should defer to him, and he stands up and says, "Here is The Sword That Was Broken" and tosses the shards of Narcil on the table. But you can't have everything. Oh, I said that already. *g* Now here's something I don't get about what I've heard about LotR fandom: Legolas is portrayed as fey (at best) and girly (at worst). I'm going by hearsay here, so tell me if I'm wrong, but goddamn, just because he's gorgeous doesn't mean he's not a tough sonovabitch. I never knew archery was so sexy, but mrrowwr... He can nock my arrows anytime, baby. Ahem. Sorry. But dammit, Legolas is NOT GIRLY. Still think Galadriel's temptation was over the top, but the rest is great. So great that I did, in fact compose a ficlet while watching, which I'm in the process of typing up and fleshing out, since it was originally going to be one of those 500 word defining moments thingies, but when I was done I was at 833 words, and decided, what the hell? Flesh it out and *then* cut. Don't worry about an arbitrary word limit. It's gen fic (I still don't see anything slashy. They totally cut the Gimli/Legolas friendship, though I understand they're at least going to restore the Gimli crush on Galadriel scenes and the gift-giving (among other things) in the "Special Edition" dvd that isn't coming out til November (and how pissed am I that i have to buy *2* versions to get the special edition. Okay, I didn't have to buy this version, technically, but I did! I mean, how could I not?!?! bastards.) and, here's the shocker, it's about Boromir. Yes, I know. (which means all you people searching for Boromir fanfic who click on this diary may actually you know, find some, if I decide to post it here. I'll at least post the link when it's done. So all my ranting about no Boromir fanfic will no longer be true. There will be an eensy-weensy amount of Boromir fanfic, but it's gen, so all you A/B slashers, sorry.) This is what did it: They're in Lothlorien, and Aragorn says to Boromir, "These waters are well guarded. Get some rest." (or words to that effect - I didn't write down that part. *g*) And Boromir says: "I will find no rest here. I heard a voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, 'Even now there is hope left,' but I can't see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man. Through his faith and our people's faith, he looks to me to make things right. I will do it. I will see the glory of Gondor restored. Have ever seen it, Aragorn? The white tower of Ithilien I think I misheard and it's Osgiliath? (anyone know?)[. . .] One day our path will take us there, and the guards shall take up the call, 'The Lords of Gondor have returned.'" And this: "I would have followed you, my brother, my captain. My King." Those lines are not in the book. Well, the first speech isn't. I think the dying words of Boromir are in TTT, but I didn't pull it out to look. I can do that tonight. But I bawled like a baby throughout the whole scene where he attacked Frodo and then realized what he'd done and protected Merry and Pippin. Also, this helped. B: "Where is Frodo?" A: "I have let him go." B: "Then you have done what I could not." Sigh. A proud man humbled and then dying to make amends. I finally could see him as human. But only in the movie. They definitely humanized him in the movie. I think making the dialogue actually you know, speakable, helped. And Sean Bean... *swoon* Why couldn't HE have played Faramir? (I told you I wasn't letting it go.) I still hate him in the books, though. Pompous, arrogant, sense-of-entitlement-feeling fratboy, blowhard bastard. And this now reminds me of the whole "character bashing" thing wherein the diary/LJ of the writer influences how someone reads their fic, and you know what? I've never hidden my dislike of Boromir. Ever. And the fact that I've written a short fic that casts him in what I hope is an extremely sympathetic light may make me look like a hypocrite (at worst) or wishy-washy (at best), but I don't care. I go where the stories take me, and I needed to write this after crying my eyes out over the bastard. If my attitude toward the character in the books is going to influence a person reading my fic about that character, then you know what? Don't read it. Whoa. Serious mood swing there. I have them sometimes. *G* Anyhow, I'm sure there are three thousand "Boromir reflects on his actions before his death" stories, but when you gotta write, you gotta write, you know? Anyone who reads/writes LotR fic what to help a girl out and beta? I'm still typing, and I'll be sending it to my usual betas, but I always like to get the once-over from people in the fandom when I'm new, so any help is appreciated. Leave a comment, send an email, whatever. And I'm all geeked about The Two Towers now, Faramir issues notwithstanding. There are still things I don't quite get, and don't remember from the books (I'll admit to remembering the important stuff, like the color of Faramir's eyes) -- most especially, if Saruman was *breeding* the Uruk-Hai by hybridizing Orcs and Goblins (which I thought were the same thing), why do they dig them out of the ground? He *grew* them? They didn't gestate in a living womb? Also, you know what I noticed in FotR (the book) that I don't remember ever noticing before? As they're on the river (or possibly after they've landed at Parth Galen), Legolas is looking at the sky and they ask him what it is. And he says (QFM) "One of the eagles of the Mountains. But it is very far from its home." And *click* - that's Gwaihir taking Gandalf the White to Rohan after his resurrection. Isn't it? I never noticed that foreshadowing before, so I gotta give old JRRT some points. Of course, I meant to reread the whole trilogy and just got distracted, so maybe I'll try again. And one last question: Why does no one ever RUN when they're told to? Aragorn says to Frodo: "Run." Frodo: "What?" Aragorn: "RUN!" Jesus. It's like in every action movie as well. Rule #1: if someone tells you to run, you run. You don't stand around and ask questions. ::shakes head:: Rule #2 is never split up and Rule #3 is turn the damn lights on when you go into a darkened house/basement/castle/apartment. sheesh. People in movies are so STUPID sometimes. *g* ~victoria link [current mood: moody] [current music: Love Reign O'er Me - The Who] [random quote: I can't sleep and I lay and I think, The night is hot and black as ink, Ooh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain...] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables