a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

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08.19.02 - 10:35 p.m. maintenance Been doing maintenancy things. Running NAV now. after, of course, having to freaking EDIT THE REGISTRY to get rid of the old, non-working version of NAV, so I could install the new one. Not only was it not working, it wouldn't even let me fucking uninstall it. Yeah, I have a potty mouth. Sue me. Everything was fine until Saturday, when I downloaded whatever the hell that Windows upgrade/patch thing was. Then it all went blooey. Whew. No infection found. Makes me happy. [current mood: handy] [current music: silence] [random quote: Well, I used to be disgusted but now I try to be amused ...] ~*~ 08.19.02 - 2:00 p.m. What I like in my fanfic My answers to "What I Like to Read in Fanfiction" are in the LJ. [current mood: okay] [current music: Hot Legs - Rod Stewart] [random quote: I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. ~Jane Austen] ~*~ 08.19.02 - 12:18 p.m. "Show a little faith, there's magic in the night" So, another thing to cross off my to do list. Inspired by Pete's Leaving Sunnydale series (a must-read for any Xanderista), and Thunder Road, which in turn inspired Pete, and was my "wallowing in self-pity" music of choice last night and this morning. *** Magic in the Night Rogue was curled in the armchair that had been her father's, trying to lose herself in the romantic entanglements of the Bennet girls, when she heard a car pull into the driveway. She sighed. Since coming back to Meridian a month ago to arrange her parents' funerals, neighbors and relatives and random people calling themselves friends had been showing up on her doorstep non-stop. She often thought that the support they'd given her "in her time of trouble" (as Mrs. Jenkins, the church organist, called it), was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced, and in her eight years as an X-Man, she'd experienced plenty. If only she'd known how open and supportive they actually could be toward a freak like herself, maybe she'd never have run away in the first place. She thought back over the ten years of her life since the day she put David into a coma with a kiss. She been a lot of places, seen a lot of things. And while she didn't think she'd change any of it -- she had friends and family who loved and depended on her, as well as a place to call home -- still, she wondered how different it all would have been if she hadn't run. In the end, there was one person who made it all worthwhile. She couldn't imagine her life without Logan in it, and she didn't want to ever have to try. She waited for the doorbell to ring, and when it didn't, she went to the front door, smoothing down her skirt and pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. With a deep breath and a false smile, she opened the door, expecting to see Mrs. Jenkins or Reverend Halliburton or the elderly Molloy sisters, casseroles in hand and quaint, comforting sayings on their lips. Instead, she saw Logan, as if summoned by her thoughts, leaning on the hood of a car. And not just any car. It was a candy apple red 1965 Mustang convertible. The top was down. "Hey, kid." "Hey," she replied, pushing through the screen door into the warm, humid air of the Mississippi evening. She stood on the porch; a light breeze stirred her skirt around her bare ankles and the wood planks were smooth and warm against the soles of her feet. The air was rich with the scent of honeysuckle jasmine; it slid over her skin like velvet. He jerked his head toward the car. "You comin'?" "I-- I can't," she began, turning away, her hand already on the doorknob to go back inside. "I have things to do here. I--" He crossed the ground between them easily, and stood beside her on the porch, a gloved hand cupping her cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of her lips. "Darlin'," he said tenderly, "don't send me away again. I can't take it." She leaned into his hand, feeling the tension slide from her body. "I--" "Come on. There's nothing you can do here anymore, Rogue. They're gone." She sniffed at the gentleness in his tone. "You have to let it go." She knew how much it had cost him to learn that particular lesson -- he'd found some of his past, and then wished he hadn't. It had taken him years to learn to live with it. She hadn't asked him -- hadn't asked any of them -- to join her when she got the news about her parents, but he'd come anyway. He hadn't said anything, he was just there when she needed him, and he left when she told him to go. He'd been there whenever she'd needed him over the past ten years, done everything she'd asked, fulfilled every promise, and she still couldn't quite reciprocate on this one thing he requested in return. "We don't have to go back to Westchester right away." He walked back to the car and she followed, as always drawn after him, and still slightly resenting that pull. He'd bought the Mustang for her when she'd turned twenty-one. It had been a mess, and together with Scott, they'd put it back together from the frame out. She ran a hand over the polished hood, a small smile creasing her face at the memories the car -- and the man driving it -- inspired. "She's a beauty." She looked up and found herself caught in his gaze. His eyes never left hers. "Eh, she's all right." She looked away first, turning to lean against the car. "I don't know, Logan. I--" He moved next to her, their bodies touching. She shivered at his nearness. A quick sideways glance told her he was staring out at the horizon, and she wondered what he could see out there that she couldn't. She worried about what it might be, worried he was envisioning life without her, and she felt paralyzed by her own inability to do what he wanted, what she needed to do. "Well, I'm heading out tonight." She licked her lips. She knew that was it -- the last time he'd ask. If she let him go, he'd be out of her life forever. She remembered their years together -- the stops and starts, the moments fraught with meaning that never quite blossomed into something more. The way she'd pined for him and then believed herself over it, grown beyond the schoolgirl crush that ran deeper than either of them wished to admit all those years ago. She thought about the way he'd taken care of her, comforted her after her affair with Remy had left her desolate and unable to trust in anyone. She felt her body respond as she recalled the way he looked at her after she'd finally gotten over Remy, the way his hands lingered whenever he touched her, and the heat of his body through the layers of their clothes, how it both comforted and thrilled her. He tilted his head again. "I know there are things I should say, and maybe they'd convince you, but--" he stopped, shrugged a shoulder. "You either feel it or you don't. It's your decision. You know what I want, and what I have to give." She took a deep breath. Years, ten years of dreaming of this moment, fell away. No more wishing for rose petals and violins, tuxedos and silk gowns. No more fantasies of changing him, making him over into something he wasn't. She loved him the way he was, and wanted what he was offering. Just himself, his love, and the road. She wasn't a teenager any longer, hadn't been for years, and she knew that whatever dreams she'd had, they were nothing compared to the reality of life with this man, and the emptiness she felt at even the thought of life without him. She let the last of her childhood go, felt her lingering resentment at his effect on her slip away, replaced by the sure knowledge that she had the same effect on him, whether he'd admit it or not. He held out a hand, his eyes soft in the gloaming, and she took it, letting him lead her to the front seat. He opened the door and she climbed in, unable to keep the small smile on her face from turning into an all-out grin. He wore a matching grin that took her breath away. He slid in next to her and started the car, turning on the CD player. Roy Orbison's "Only the Lonely" played, and she glanced at him, trying not to laugh. His ears were tinged with red, but he said nothing, simply took her gloved hand and brought it to his lips. They rode in silence along the back roads, watching the twilit sky deepen to black. The wind whipped through her hair, drowning out the CD player, making its own whistling music. The chains of the past loosed themselves, and she felt free of the weight she'd been carrying since she got the news about her parents. She was an adult now, truly, but she didn't have to be alone. He slowed the car as they approached her childhood home, giving her time to relish her newfound freedom, and to discover that it was okay to move on, to leave the past behind. "I always wondered, you know," she said finally. "About what?" "Whether she went with him or not." Logan raised an eyebrow. "And?" "I never thought she did, and it made me sad. " She shifted, putting her bare feet on the dashboard, feeling daring at letting so much skin show. "I never thought I would." "But you did. You are." "Yeah." He slid an arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him, sighing in contentment. "I'm glad." She rubbed her face against his arm, inhaling his scent, covering herself in it. "Me, too." Then, "I love you." "Me, too, baby. Me, too." fin *** There. I kinda feel a little better now. And yeah, it's a Ford, not a Chevy, but come on, what Chevy matches up to a '65 'Stang? *g* ~victoria link [current mood: better] [current music: Here, there and everywhere - the Beatles] [random quote: I know you've been waiting For words that I ain't spoken tonight we'll be free All the promises will be broken] ~*~ 08.18.02 - 10:27 p.m. navel-gazing am having many thoughts. am trying to dig myself out of this writerly depression i'm in. i'm going ee cummings tonight. just 'cause i feel like it. when i first got online, i was no-caps girl. for a long time. until the mockery became too much. then i fell in line and starting stretching my fingers to the shift key. damn that peer pressure. it's more inisidious than you'd ever believe, if you've been out of high school as long as i [and never really succumbed *in* high school]. never think that fandom doesn't police its own, 'cause it surely does. my adoption of capital letters on usenet proves it. i'm trying to work out, to explain, my reactions to receiving constructive criticism. i took a couple of people i don't know well up on their offer to beta the boromir fic. the first person came back with what i consider a typical beta. she corrected typos, pointed out clunky sentences, suggested better wording, etc. the second person came back with some of the same stuff, and then some harsher criticism at the end. and i, of course, per usual, curled up into a ball and started quivering like jell-o. because that's how i respond to crit. i've already been having an 'i suck as a writer' kind of week, and this was just the topping on the cake. because i've been letting everything else interfere with writing. yes, i am in a rut. i've been feeling it for a while. and the reason i am is, in part, a lot of the fandom shite that's been blowing around. the other reasons are varied, but mostly come down to me not feeling it, me feeling that others are just so much better that i can't come close, so why bother, and my apparent block on writing lately, in that i get in my own way and devote more time to blogland and meta and hanging out on aim and answering email that i'm just not *writing* anymore, and that sucks and is my own fault. do i know that the second beta was done in good faith and is an honest assessment of the story? yes. do I agree with all of the criticism? no. will i suck it up and answer politely? yes, as soon as the sting has died down a little. i've already talked, many times, about my odd dichotomy of arrogance and complete insecurity, my 'how dare you not see my greatness' attitude is always at odds with my, 'i completely suck and of course you hate me' attitude. which makes me a fun person to be around sometimes. [snicker] and this split colors my reaction to any sort of criticism. on the one hand, again, 'how dare you?' and yet, on the other, 'of course, i suck. who am i trying to fool? god, i can't believe i got away with it for this long.' so i'm just going to be zen about things, just try to pull down my pants and slide on the ice, you know? i'm going to focus on the important things - my friends, my writing, doing the archiving thing, and keeping up with fandom as much as i feel like it, because i want to, not because i feel obligated. i'm somewhat in the middle of natlyn's taxonomy of fandom: in behavior i seem more like a type 2 fan, where my primary relationship is with other fans, but it just isn't so. i've managed, for the most part, to make some lovely friends in the course of my time in online fandom. i still run into the occasional ather and atbvser here and on lists, even though i'm no longer active on newsgroups. i'm managed to stay friends with people who left xmm while i've stuck around plodding along. i've made some interesting friends of people who aren't in any fandoms i'm in, or where our fandom interests only overlap peripherally [lotr, say, or star wars or xf, all of which i love, but have never been part of the online community of fans] because of my interest in meta stuff [which i think can be traced back to two things: my love of debate and my background as a lit major]. but i was making up stories about other people's characters long before the internet as we know it now existed, and i'll probably continue to do so until the day i die. i wrote my first fanfic with only casual online acquaintances, not any driving force within fandom to do so. i guess that while i love the discussion aspects [xander lied! it was a clean shoot! jonathan is an idiot!], having opened myself up as a writer in fandom rather than just a newsgroup participant, i think i would still write fanfic even if the other aspects of fandom that i'm now involved in went away. i love my diary/lj, and i'm very happy to have the xmmff archive [which i hope to have running in its historical form in the next couple of days - just doing final links checks etc. new subs will take a little longer as i put together guidelines and an 'editorial staff' to help out], and if that's all i have, plus my own fic [and other people's], that's fine. i guess i'm, i don't know. i was very close to gafiating* this weekend, and it's still a strong urge, if only so that i can get back on the writing track, and stop letting so much outside sturm und drang affect me. we'll see. i mean, it's supposed to be fun, and when it's not, it's time to walk away. i need to find the fun again. i'm trying to get back to the writing. i don't want to not enjoy it, but i'm not enjoying not-writing a whole lot more than i'm enjoying not-writing. and even i'm confused by that sentence. so i'll stop here with the navel-gazing. tomorrow i hope to be back to the regularly scheduled programming of witty repartee and sex scenes. [snicker] in my dreams, anyway. ~victoria *gafiating = "getting away from it all" to the best of my understanding link [current mood: introspective] [current music: Sonata in D Minor for Guitar - Scarlatti] [random quote: Well you wouldn't even know a diamond if you held it in your hand the things you think are precious I can't understand] ~*~ 08.18.02 - 2:09 p.m. technology hates me Gah. Technology hates me. I hate Microsoft. I'm also in the process of having a pity party for myself over my lack of writing skills. It was almost over a couple days ago, but uh, no. Came roaring back with an email last night. I know it's true. It's honest. It's not meant to be bitchy. But it's going to take me a few days to absorb it and move on. Have many thoughts, little time. Suffice it to say: Baseball strike = me not watching baseball for another 5 years, at least. It took almost that long for me to get back to it after '94. There's always football, hockey and tennis, and goddammit, I can watch movies instead of the Mets. Lust Over Pendle - Yes, I was up til 3 am reading it last night (well, it would have taken less time had I not had stupid technical difficulties [see above]) but yeah, *that's* the kind of HP fic I can get behind. Sure, the editing could have been better, and really, I'm not a big believer in Redeemed!Draco at all, but in this fic, it all works, hilariously well. Plus, Hermione kicks ass and takes names, Neville isn't a complete blundering idiot, and well, it's funny in a way that works. So yeah, Lust Over Pendle. Link to come. Also, while I'm in the HP mood, Liz Barr's Just Like My Daddy. Hot damn. I'm reccing a second person POV. I know, I know, but this works. It's also Snape/James, which strangely enough works. In lesser hands, I don't think I'd have bought it, but the inimitable Ms. Barr is a master of keeping the unbelieveable real. I owe her feedback, but consider this the first volley. *g* Now, I must go. I have to buy a clock radio to replace the one that freaked out on me, plus, I'm finally delivering the sparkly fishy to Tricia. Later, taters. ~victoria link [current mood: sparkly] [current music: ] [random quote: ] ~*~ 08.17.02 - 6:56 p.m. sleeping beauty I am the quintessential sleepyhead. I went to bed last night at 10pm, slept until 10am, then took a nap this afternoon for 2 hours. It was freakin' glorious. Other than that, I got nothing. Still ftp'ing, updating the contact address on the main pages of the archive, and getting ready to go live. Oh! I know: Bright Shiny Objects has been updated. Multi-fandom recs; slash, gen, het - these are the folks I blame for seducing me into reading HP fic. *G* If you're looking for a good read, BSO is the place to go. Oh, god, rhyming. *G* ~victoria link [current mood: lazy] [current music: I've Got a Theory - BtVS cast - in my head] [random quote: \"I'm an extraordinary bitching pain in the ass.\" ~Beau Felton, HLotS] ~*~ 08.16.02 - 1:21 p.m. comments on comments Finally replying to comments. I know I've been neglecting that and many people had interesting things to say, so... ::cue Letterman's "Viewer Mailbag" music:: Letters. We get letters... On Slash/het/gen: Cristin Anne wrote: It makes perfect sense. And I just wanted to give you a "I agree completely" on the whole thing. I've also been involved in all three, and, as far as I can tell, there really isn't a difference. (The only thing I question is 'non-canonical' but that's because I lack anything better to call those relationships then slash.) Ah, the non-canonical thing. Here's my theory on why I think slash should include the non-canonical definition. If slash is supposed to subvert the canon text, how is it subversive to have a canon couple? If Tara and Willow are shown onscreen having sex (and they are in OMWF, obliquely), how is it transgressive to write about them having sex in fanfiction? You may as well be writing Buffy/Angel or Xander/Anya. More on that later. Jaime wrote: Thank you. I've had this argument (slash vs. het) with several different people, and always come away with the feeling that the slashers I'm dealing with think of me as a slightly naive child, simply because I prefer het to slash. I don't belittle their choice in literature - why should they be allowed to belittle mine at will? It's nice to know I'm not alone. There is sometimes a seriously patronizing attitude toward het writers amongst slashers. At least, I've felt it. "Ooh, look at the little het writer. Isn't that cute? She writes about men having sex with women. How funny!" And Maveness chimed in with this: *applause* Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm a het and gen writer and had gotten that impression many times. It offends me that there are people that think my genre of writing is too mainstream and bland for consumption. I don't make that assumption about other genres. And part of what upsets me is that the feeling that slash is superior, whether it is an intentional statement or not, hurts other writers. Inadvertantly or not, the impression is being given that their way is the only way, and everyone should come to their side. And that's bull. And I don't get the whole Mary Sue-ing argument that has come up a lot lately concerning some characters, especially Chloe. So people think characters are Mary Sue-d in Het more than Slash? I would go as far to say that almost every writer, at one time or another, has Mary Sue-d a character, and to claim that it's confined to one genre is hypocrisy. It's in all three genres, people just don't want to admit such. I think a lot of it is a knee-jerk reaction to how slash is treated in some circles. That doesn't make it right, but I think it explains it. I think it's also the disdain that "real" writers feel for people who write romances. It comes from the same place that has angst being the pinnacle of writing achievement, and happy/light/comedic stories being dismissed as "fluff". We must all be miserable. We must all be non-conformists! Individuality is allowed only if we all do it together! Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but it feels that way at times, doesn't it? That if you don't have your black turtleneck, your black beret, your Galois and your copy of La Nausée (in the original French, of course), you can't be part of the fun. Some genres are apparently more equal than others in the eyes of some fans. I still haven't figured out how to respond when it happens, but I'm working on it. So no, you're not alone. It definitely feels better to know that, right? WitchQueen wrote: I've said before and I'll say again, until, oh, 1993 at the earliest, slash was the last genre fanfiction writers got introduced to. (Which, yes, makes it ten years ago, which is eons in net.time, but a flash in the pan in institutional memory, and besides, I think a credible argument can be made that it was more like 1998.) Thus, people who wrote slash had already done their 'apprenticeship' in gen and het, and slash writers really did tend to be better, on average, than het or gen writers, because they were more experienced fan-writers than the average het or gen writer. Further, I think it is still true that young, first-time writers are most likely attracted to het writing on their first few times out, because romance looks easy and heterosexuality is our dominant paradigm. […] Which is to say, in the final analysis, that being wary of the quality of het or gen or slash, particularly if it is in a particular fandom with a bad reputation, is not a prejudice without reason. It is also not a good reason to dismiss any individual story or author without actually reading them. I understand your point. It's just that - most of the people I've met with this attitude are not old guard slash fans. They're people who came up in fandom around the same time I did (1998) and yet they have this feeling that slash is not only better in writing quality, but also the only genre capable of exploring deep themes and questions. Which is patently false. I'm not talking within a fandom (and I've read good Homicide slash, btw, so I'm a little baffled about that part), I'm talking about Fandom across the board - that people from one fandom will make judgements about fic in another fandom based on whether it's het, gen or slash, and that just rubs me the wrong way. Basing any decision and any declaration of quality (or the lack thereof) on *reputation* is silly and wrong. Slashers complain when it's done to them (the "all slash is about nothing but sex" claim pisses me off to no end), and yet they do it to others as well - and that's all I'm trying to say. This holier-than-thou, "We've been picked on so it's okay for us to be snobs" attitude is bullshit. I'm gonna come out and say I don't like it, whether it's espoused by slashers, genners or hetters. And I won't be responsible for my reaction if anyone uses it on me again. ;p~ FayJay wrote: Is this really the case? Blimey. I'm perfectly prepared to believe that there are people who are Holier-than-thou about their fic flavour of choice, and if I'd been running up against it I'd probably be pretty pissed off too. But they are eejits, plain and simple. Quality of writing isn't linked to genre, and anyone who thinks they get extra brownie points by choosing to write within a particular category is, quite frankly, stupid. I read & write slash and gen and het, and what matters to me is well-observed characterisation, good prose & continuity. Yes, yes and yes. Unfortunately, some of these 'eejits' are leading lights in their fandoms, and many newbies take a cue from them. These categories of Slash & Gen & Het are an external thing, surely? I mean, you have an idea for a story, you write the story, and then you have to sum it up & that's when the labels come into play. For me, anyhow. I can't imagine sitting down and saying "I will only write/read such-and-such a type of story". That's just DAFT. [/high handedness] Right. I agree totally. When I set out to write, I set out to write a *story*. Though I will say that I write mostly based on pairing, so it will automatically fall into slash or het automatically. But it's not like I say, "I must write boysex today!" or "I'm going to write het today, just to keep my hand in." Though I think that some people do that. But I agree with Naomi (coming right up) - it's more a matter of how the *reader* perceives the story than it is of how the writer writes it. Labels and warnings are for the readers, after all, though they can offer some measure of protection for the writer, depending on the community she belongs to. Naomi wrote: Yes, Victoria's right, Ah, music to my ears. *g* Words I don't hear often enough, let me tell you. *g* and yes, it's daft, but that's often how the stories are received. There's a trend toward all-inclusive fic lists now in several fandoms (or even multifandom), which I heartily support. But when I started reading this stuff a few years ago, I had to join all sorts of character-, genre-, or pairing-specific lists to get a reasonable range of stories. I also found that a lot of the best-crafted stories were slash. That's not really the case any longer. *nods* I can well believe that there was a time when slash stories were consistently of higher quality than het, across the board, due to what WitchQueen mentioned above - that many writers of slash had already cut their teeth in the other genres before tackling slash. However, that's no longer the case, and I wish people would give up their "antiquated" notions and join us in the 21st century. *g* I hope that as slash becomes more mainstream in fandom (and, heck, as homo- and bisexuality becomes more mainstream in our culture at large), anyone who prides themself on their Unique And Special Transgressiveness for writing about a romantic relationship between two people of the same gender will get over it. If nothing else, there's bound to be more and more bad slash. I've also seen some excellent authors moving very publicly between het, gen, and slash in their writings. So maybe that will help. I think that both of these are important factors. See above on why slash ought to be non-canonical if it really wants to be considered *that* subversive. And even then, do you (generic) not think that the writers of many of these shows aren't playing with slashers? Including subtexty moments because they know the kind of response they'll get on the Internet? So if you're extrapolating from what the creators have intentionally put there, are you really subverting anything at all? I know I'm conflating two separate issues, and I need to tackle the whole "fanfiction is political" thing eventually, but I'm putting it off, as it daunts me. I'm never quite sure where I come down on the argument. And yes, it's always good when the good authors are multi-faceted. I would say, in fact, that the *best* authors should be able to move between all three, as the need arises, and any other genre people want to come up with. Will they all have an equal facility with each? No, probably not. But that's more a function of feeling the characters than it is of their particular gender. Cofax said: It may be only my perception, but I have to say that at one time it seemed as though only the most skilled writers would take on the challenge of writing slash, because of how it ran counter to the perceived text of the show, and the extra amount of work thought necessary to justify the characterizations. […] At any rate, looking around the fic communities I hang out in today, I still get the sense that few writers are acknowledged as true prose stylists unless they write slash. Many writers I know (and know of) have "graduated" to writing slash, and once they do, they often don't write anything else. I don't know if that implies they don't think gen or het is worthy of their attention, but it leaves writers like me feeling... well, a bit as though I didn't get the memo. [...] *nods* Again, I agree that slash is a challenge in some ways, but I think het and gen have their own challenges - in het - how do you make it not a cliché? How do you reconcile one character's alleged undying feelings for Girl A when he's suddenly with Girl B - for example, Buffy/Angel, and then Angel/Cordelia, or even Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Xander, but B/A, A/C is interesting, because won't there be the same problems Angel faced with Buffy in a relationship with Cordelia? Or is having her become part-demon going to be some weak loophole the writer uses to get around the curse? The good writers will tackle this head on. And there are other challenges in various fandoms to making het work well. With gen, it's especially important to get the feel of the show right. I mean, it's one thing if you're writing about Josh and Sam shagging on the side and the whole story takes place in one hot night at Sam's apt. It's a whole different kettle of fish to write a fic that tackles politics the way the show does (whether you agree with the actual substance of those politics or not, the *process* is what drives the show) and write the characters acting like the adults they are in the world they live in. That's a *major* challenge in my view, one that's pulled off far less frequently than hot Sam/Josh or CJ/Toby fic, because it's much, much harder to do. WYzeguy wrote: I've run into this kind of perception numerous times and in many sizes, shapes, and flavors. As a predominantly gen writer with het leanings and very few slash stories written, I definitely feel as if I'm in the minority of fanfiction writers. There are a lot of places where I get the distinct impression that "slash comes first", and that anybody who writes in another category should be damned lucky he or she gets an audience at all. Heck, that's one reason that as intriguing as "Lord of the Rings" is, I may not ever do a "LotR" fanfic after I see it. The ruling class of that fandom is so pro-slash that I might not be able to get anyone to read my stories. Well, yes. *g* Though as I'm completing my one LotR story (gen, if you must know), I'm less worried about who is going to read it. Same thing with my one AotC story - I felt the need to write it and I did. It's been well-received in the few places I posted it, but it's not setting the world on fire, 'cause I'm not in those fandoms. It's the fandoms I'm in that worry me. I don't write m/m slash. Period. Nothing against the genre, but it's not my cuppa. It does nothing for me (f/f is another story). But I get the distinct impression from lots of fandoms and sources that in order to enjoy a successful pseudo-carreer in fanfic, I should bloody well adopt it as my cuppa. Depends on what you consider successful, but yes, in a lot of places, one must write slash to be considered a big name, a top of the heap writer. This pisses me off. I write what I find interesting, and I explore the characters that interest me. I go where the plot bunnies take me. Running against brick walls in fandoms that judge my stories based on its category and not its substance annoys me. Sure, readers are perfectly free to read or ignore any story they choose, and I myself regularly delete fanfics that show up in my inbox based on the story tags in the subject line. But I weigh it on the basis of "do I feel like reading about characters who don't interest me, or about whom I know roughly nada?" I usually pass up stories based on the characters involved, or a cursory reading of the first few paragraphs, not based on its inclusion in het, gen, or slash. It has nothing to do with assumption that all stories of a given type are automatically crap; rather, it has to do with whether or not an individual story looks interesting enough for me to give it a try. *nods* I do the same thing - I think most people do. But there are people who will say, "I don't read gen." Or "I don't read het." Not because they don't like it (though of course, that's most likely the real, honest reason), but because they look down on it and think it's just badly done, regardless of what you say. It's like the person on ClarkLex who said she won't read any present tense stories because it's wrong and it's bad writing. Now, I won't rehash my own problems with present tense in Smallville, but I don't think it's WRONG or <BAD - I just think it's overused. *g* Just to break down the great slash barrier and keep from villifying the slash community as The Evil Empire, I should point out that EVERY establishment has its own cliques [...] The point to all that was that fandom is a rather divided animal, with all these warring factions and alliances based on a common like. This is not limited to slash by any means. I just wish fans would find ways to come together rather than find excuses to tear each other apart. But alas, that's the nature of cliques, which itself its human nature. Right. I don't dispute that at all. What gets me is not that it's, "I like this because it turns my crank and that doesn't." That's fine. Lots of things don't turn my crank, and yet I see more and more stories with those items (Clark and Lex in drag or make up? Not a turn on for me. Also not a quality issue, though I suppose I could make it one if I really wanted to [as in, would these characters, as we know them in canon, do this? But I just see the words "Lex, clubbing, lipstick" and I know it's not my kinda story. Life's easier that way]. On the other hand, hurt/comfort? Also not a turn on for the most part, because it usually ignores the very real "hurt" in order to get to the schmoopy comfort, which *is* a quality issue, because don't fucking write a rape scene if you're not prepared to deal with the serious repercussions of rape. Ahem. Sorry. A personal hot button issue.), and I'm perfectly willing to hit delete and never say anything if it's just something I don't like. It's the "Oh all het is just crap, so I don't read it" or "all fluff is just silly and stupid and not worthy of my attention," to bring another angle into it, that pisses me off. Which I'm sure you've all noticed, considering how I'm ranting about it again. *snerk* On Character-bashing and Lana: Wyze wrote: Still, I'm trying to figure out how Lana should be called to the carpet for her actions. Putting aside the fact that she hasn't even done anything that would be considered evil beyond typical high school behavior, what would be a suitable punishment for Lana not being perfect? A bitch-slap? Hair-pulling? A full episode devoted to the various characters in "Smallville" taking time out of their lives to scream at Lana? This is where I get annoyed by the "I hate her because she's too perfect, but she'd better not do anything imperfect while I'm watching her, because imperfection is inexcusable" tact. And btw, Victoria, I'm not pointing fingers or accusing anyone of this behavior. I'm just wondering what would be justifiable retribution for a character's transgressions within the context of a story. I'd got the impression from the episodes I've seen that Lana's closest friends are perfectly aware of her more childish moments, but are willing to either overlook her more harmless moments or point out to her what she's doing when she's being self-destructive. It's not "I hate her because she's imperfect", at least on my part. It's "she ISN'T perfect, and yet people ACT like she is." She's not evil. She's a typical high school girl. Yet she's the fairy princess, everybody loves her - boys want to date her, girls want to be her. No one seems to SEE her flaws. That's what I want. I disagree that her friends are aware of her selfishness or her passive-aggressive behavior. I think the WRITERS have screwed up with the way they've had others treat Lana. She doesn't want to be "the fairy princess" and okay, the quitting cheerleading to be a waitress and the Talon things are two good examples of her trying to move beyond that, but come on! Every time something doesn't go her way, she's all "But my parents were killed by the meteors." And I'm sorry, but giving long, lingering "I wish I could dump my grieving boyfriend for you, Clark, and the only reason I want you is because you looked at Chloe" looks to Clark at Whitney's dad's funeral struck me as simply heartless and selfish. She's dog-in-the-manger about Clark - she wants him for her back-up boyfriend, so Chloe can't have him. She's passive-aggressive in her dealings with Clark - she goes out on the date with him in "Cool" - which was not the right thing to do for a girl who has a boyfriend - and then crowed about how it made Whitney more attentive. That's the sort of behavior I don't find likable, and yet I think the *writers* want me to feel bad for her, that she's "torn between two lovers," rather than being a silly 16yo who can't make up her mind and is manipulating the boys around her. Look at the scene in Hug where she goes to apologize to Clark - not because she was wrong about Whitney, but because she's afraid she's going to lose her back-up boyfriend, her "make Whitney jealous" option. Not that she doesn't like Clark for himself. I think she does. But the way she behaves makes me want to smack her. Admittedly, I want to smack most 16yo girls I've met, myself included once upon a time. This is not a BAD thing. It's a good thing, IF the other characters see it, instead of acting as if this behavior is acceptable, instead of bad teenage crap. Chloe's behavior is presented more objectively - she's called on it when she's wrong and even when the other characters don't know, the show well, shows us that what she's doing is shady (ala not deleting the adoption files). The show just seems to tell us how wonderful Lana is, even though anyone with eyes can see she's got some flaws that, if explored, would make her much more interesting. *** I'll tackle the feminizing Frodo and Fauvist comments later. I'm cold and hungry and tired. The freaking AC in here is on like, Arctic or something. I realize it's disgustingly hot and sticky outside, but some of us would like to go home with all our fingers and toes intact, you know? ~victoria link [current mood: cold] [current music: Private Idaho - B-52s] [random quote: She's like this cleavagey slutbomb walking around going Ooh. Check me out I'm wicked cool. I'm five by five.] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. 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