a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

11.13.02 - 4:33 p.m. because I'm bored... A brief snippet of Consumption, which I have open (moved to a new diskette as it's too big for the old one that has all the other WIPs on it), because I need something or someone to kick my ass as I trudge through these conversations that need to happen. Poor Scott. I just don't like doing this to him, but... Sigh. I think it's necessary. But maybe not. Maybe he won't have to go through it. If I could just get past this sea change in the relationships, I'd be on more familiar ground. Anyhow, here's the snip. It's from pretty early on. This is completely AU from the movie, remember. *** Logan made his way back downstairs, planning on having a beer, when he heard Jean's voice. "You're doing amazingly well, Scott. Ororo says you've mastered history and your math scores are off the charts." "I did finish high school, Jean, and get into MIT," the boy -- and maybe Logan would have to stop referring to him that way, considering how he was flirting with Logan's girlfriend -- said, laughing. "I just didn't get to go to graduation." "Well, Professor Xavier contacted your old school, and they've agreed to send your transcripts. He's also spoken with the Dean of Admissions at SUNY-Purchase. Pending your grades, of course, they're willing to let you matriculate in January." Amazing what money can buy, Logan thought. He noticed that though she spoke matter-of-factly, there was a quiver of suppressed excitement in her voice. He hoped it was simply the joy of helping someone get back on his feet. "But my eyes--" "Hank is working on that. I think we can safely leave it in his hands. He'll figure something out for you. Your friend was able to give us quite a bit of information about your mutation." "Yeah." He heard movement, then, as if they'd gotten closer together. "You've all been really, really good to us, Jean. I hate to ask for more," but you're going to anyway, Logan thought, "but Rogue really needs her GED. She was only sixteen when she left home and --" "We're working on her, Scott," Jean said softly. "She seems to be doing all right. How old is she now?" "Twenty-two." No fucking way in hell! "Well, she's too old to be comfortable in classes with the other kids. I don't suppose you've told her that I think Charles can help with her mutation?" Logan's eyebrows rose. He knew that Marie -- Rogue -- hadn't told anyone about her skin, and he was surprised that Scott would break her confidence. Except that he wasn't, really. Scott was already moving beyond her, fitting in easily to life at the mansion. He showed a keen grasp of military history and tactics, and though he was weak from the tuberculosis, and blind at the moment, Logan knew he'd be a formidable fighter with the right training. And he was just the type to buy into Xavier's dream. Rogue, on the other hand, had been left to drift aimlessly, confined until today in her little room, worrying about her charge. She hadn't been tutored or tested or fussed over. She'd been shoved into quarantine, kept away from her lover for two weeks, and not allowed to see anyone but the doctors who terrified her. Shit. He did not want to get in the middle of this. "I haven't mentioned it, no. I haven't had a lot of time with her. She's -- I don't think she likes it here." "She just needs time to adjust," Jean said. "It's got to be hard for her. You said she was on her own for a long time." "Yeah." "How's this? I'll try and talk with her in the morning. She knows me and --" "I don't think that's a good idea, Jean. She has a, a thing about doctors." And you don't want her to know you gave her secret away, do you, bub? Logan thought. He heard Jean sigh. "I understand." More shuffling sounds, then, "Ororo rented a couple of movies; are you interested in sticking around and watching?" No, Logan thought. Say no. Go look after your little bird. She needs you. Stay away from my girl. "What'd she get?" "Knowing 'Ro, probably something classic. She likes old movies." "Sounds like fun. When and where?" You can't even see, bub. You think Jeannie's gonna spend her night telling you what's going on? "In about half an hour in the living room. The kids are involved in their homework, and they have a television in each of the dorm wings if they're done, so it's mostly the teachers who hang out down here. I can describe the action for you if 'Ro got something you haven't seen before." You've got to be kidding me. Shit. She's just being friendly. "Cool. Thanks, Jean." "Anytime, Scott. There's some microwave popcorn in the cabinet if you want to get started. I'm going to go upstairs and change." "It's a date." Logan growled at that. He stalked upstairs to wait for her in their suite. He didn't turn on the lights, just grabbed a beer from the secret stash in the cooler next to the TV, and brooded, staring out the window but seeing nothing. Jean came in, a burst of energy as the door opened and the lights clicked on with a flick of her mind. "Logan!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you were in here." He squinted against the sudden flare of light and shrugged. "Here I am," he replied easily. She moved into the bedroom, stripping off the suit that told the world she was Doctor Jean Grey, and slipping into a pair of black slacks and a green sweater. "I was just telling Scott how well he's doing. Today was his first day out of quarantine, you know." "Yeah." She came back into the living room and sat on the arm of the sofa; something in his tone was off. "What's wrong?" "Rogue is going to let you examine her tomorrow." She blinked. Logan was good with the damaged ones. She'd told him many times, even if he didn't quite believe it. "How'd you manage that?" He shrugged a shoulder, unsure of how much of the girl's secrets he should reveal. Girl, hell, he thought. She was twenty-two, if her boyfriend could be believed. "I think she's got a real good reason to be wary of doctors." Jean leaned forward, putting a hand on his knee. "You're projecting your own fears onto the girl, Logan. Just because --" She broke off at the single shake of his head. "You're not projecting?" "No." "Shit." She stood up and began pacing, gnawing absently on the cuticle of her right thumb. "What did they do to her?" "You'll have to ask her. But Jeannie, go easy. She's terrified. The boy's all she's got and--" And what? Are you going to accuse your girlfriend of trying to get in his pants? Jesus, Logan, what the hell are you thinking? He'd never been so glad for the strong shields he somehow possessed as he was at that moment. "It'll be hard for her when he moves on," Jean agreed, seemingly oblivious to his tension, but she wouldn't meet his eyes and he could see she felt it, too. Hell, he could smell it on her. "Ororo and I rented some movies," she said finally. "You going to come down and watch?" He shook his head. "I'm heading into town tonight." Something he did rarely these days. Her eyes widened, but again, she avoided his gaze. "Be careful." "Always." He dropped a kiss on her cheek and walked out, wondering when their relationship had become full of averted eyes and tense silences. *** Yeah. I'm trying to get back into this world. It's a harder than expected, especially as it's a world now in flux, thanks to Magneto. Sigh. Is it time to go home yet? ~victoria link [current mood: bored] [current music: Misty Mountain Hop - Zeppelin] [random quote: Don't need a helmet, got a hard hard head Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet] ~*~ 11.13.02 - 11:24 a.m. one brief moment of clarity Squee! Furniture coming tomorrow. All of it. Of course, I expected the bookshelves first and they're not comiing until Saturday, so things are gonna be a little crowded (and I have a whole thing about shelving books that I've been thinking about since Naomi Chana discussed it last week), because I was planning on having the books all shelved before the sofa arrived, as the bins with the books are currently occupying the sofa's spot, which means I will have to haul ass tonight and get everything rearranged in *both* rooms, not just the bedroom, as originally planned. Sigh. Where's a superstrong Son of Krypton when you need him? Speaking of whom, I had a Lex dream last night. I didn't trust him. I was very Jonathan-like in that. He was trying to woo my (very married in waking life) sister, and I kept telling her he was bad for her. he did these wonderful things for her and her kids, but I just didn't believe he was any good. Not even when he gave me a new VW Bug as a present. When I found out where it came from, I returned it to him in a huff. What's *that* about? Anyhow, been thinking about the shameful Lack of Xander in last night's Buffy ep, and I have a theory, which is up in the LJ I will put up in the LJ shortly, as it's spoilery. But the other thing I was thinking about was, once again, writing and length. Jenn was talking another novel she's working on, and I was thinking about my own apparently inability to plan and write a long story, and I was listening to Thunder Road on the bus this morning, and it all crystallized when I remembered some lovely feedback Jengrrrl sent me for "Magic in the Night" about how sometimes you just want the moment when it all comes together. And that's what I'm after as a writer - the moment. I'm not a storyteller. I want the moment, the emotion, the one scene where everything comes together. I know, that's greedy and not necessarily a good method for writing, but it's *perfect* for fanfiction, because the set up has all been done, and I can write a story in a thousand words and have it cut like a razor or comfort like a blanket. I've definitely got more of a poet's mentality even though I haven't written a decent poem in about five years. I'm far more concerned with stringing the words together in such a way as to evoke emotion than I am with how Character A got to Point B. I think this explains my need to rush the ending, my boredom with writing plot, my inability to segue and my horrible penchant for telling, not showing with a big exposition dump. I want the big emotional payoff, but I don't want to work for it. I'm lazy. I admit it. Now comes the hard part, which is trying to overcome these tendencies and actually do the *work* of writing instead of just the fun, easy part. That's why all my long plotty things are sitting unfinished. I don't want to work at them. I've never had to work at writing, and I'm balking at it now. Sigh. I really need a kick in the ass, and as much as I'd hoped it would be, Nanowrimo isn't it, because it means nothing. Ah, me. ~victoria link [current mood: thoughtful] [current music: Walk Through the Fire - BtVS cast] [random quote: one by one they turn from me, I guess my friends can't face the cold (What can't we face together?)] ~*~ 11.12.02 - 11:59 p.m. Ryan coda fic Thoughts on tonight's Buffy and Smallville up in the LJ This here's a coda to the Smallville episode, so if you haven't seen "Ryan" yet, turn back now. It's tentatively titled "A Valediction Forbidding Mourning" after my favorite John Donne poem. Yeah, I'm mining that vein. Leave me alone. And yes, the ending really is that cheesy. It needs fixing. A Valediction Forbidding Mourning Clark stood before the doors to Lex's study in a daze. He couldn't quite recall how he'd gotten to the castle from the hospital. The doors opened and Lex stood there, eyes dark with concern. "You all right, Clark?" "I, he--" Clark held out the 'Warrior Angel' comics Ryan had left behind, and choked back a sob. Lex took the comics from him, and led him into the room. "Have a seat, Clark." Clark sat. He watched without really seeing as Lex poured two tumblers of amber liquid and sat down next to him. "This should help." Lex handed him a glass, and he took it, raising it to his lips immediately. Brandy. He knew the smell from his mother's Christmas baking. It burned going down, which was unexpected. "Hey, hey, take it easy," Lex said, sipping his own drink. "That's twenty-five-year-old cognac." But it didn't work. Not the alcohol, or the soothing tone, or even Lex's warm, solid presence next to him on the sofa. He swallowed the rest of the cognac and tried to force the tears down as well, but they came flooding over, in great, wracking sobs. He leaned over into Lex's chest and cried in a way he hadn't since he was six and they'd taken away Arnold, his favorite pig, to the slaughterhouse, and no Charlotte had shown up to save him. When he came back to himself, Lex's silk shirt was soaked and his head hurt from crying. He swallowed again, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I should go," he said, attempting to regain his dignity. He made as if to rise, and Lex put a hand on his arm. "It's okay, Clark." He settled back down, and allowed Lex to put an arm around him, but said, "No. It's not." "Clark, you did everything you could--" "No." His voice was urgent, almost frantic. "You don't understand. I couldn't save him. I couldn't--" "You helped him. You--" "No. He wasn't supposed to die. I was supposed to save him. I had to save him." Lex's voice was low, his lips close to Clark's ear. "You can't save everyone, no matter how much you want to." Clark's voice cracked. "I should be able to. I saved you." Lex inhaled sharply; his hand stilled on the back of Clark's neck for a moment. "You're only human." Clark sucked a deep breath and willed himself to stop crying. "That's just it, Lex. I'm not." Lex pulled Clark into a tight embrace. "I know," he whispered. "I know." "How--" "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you told me." "I wish I could have saved him, Lex." Lex rubbed his back. "I know. But some things not even you can fix." Clark closed his eyes and snuffled against the smooth skin of Lex's throat. "That Dr. Burton-- do you fund his research?" "No," Lex said slowly, "but I could." "I think you should. I mean, you could help. I couldn't save Ryan, but maybe someday--" He couldn't wrap his mind around the enormity of it. "We could beat cancer, Lex." "Together, we can beat anything." And Clark took comfort in that. He let Lex hold him a little longer and he cried again for the little brother he'd lost. end ~victoria link [current mood: creative] [current music: silence] [random quote: For thy face coins them, and thy stamp they bear, And by this mintage they are something worth For thus they be Pregnant of thee] ~*~ 11.12.02 - 3:39 p.m. This is not your father's fandom. So last night, I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't get myself interested in writing any of the stories I've got going, and so I lay there in bed and started thinking. Never a good sign. And I was thinking about the whole SSA-TWoP thingy, and something struck me. (Note: None of this is directed at Destina or any one individual; I'm just using her comments as a jumping off point, because they struck me and I have a copy in my inbox. All 'yous' are generic unless otherwise specified.) Destina wrote: I think there's a generation of fans who don't understand why people use pen names, who scoff at the notion that the world shouldn't be privy to slash as a hobby. Some people prefer to keep slash away from mundanes and from fans who aren't *slash* fans, and I'm one of them. I don't see the advantage of widely advertising slash archives to those who aren't already inside the slash bubble - it's not like we need to recruit. That's one part of it. The other part is that there are folks who don't take kindly to slash - not just lawyers, but other fans, actually - and they do things to out slash fans who'd rather not go there, to get sites TOS'd, and so forth. And I think, just in general, that it's way too late to keep the secret now. I've been in online fandom since November 1997, as a lurker on alt.tv.homicide, and didn't come to really be involved in the fanfiction end of things until August of 2000, with the X-Men movie. So I'm a relative newbie, I guess, and one of those fans who doesn't see why we need to keep slash 'away' from non-fans (pardon me as I once again mention how I loathe the term 'mundane'. Does it make you [generic] feel superior? I hope so, 'cause it just makes you *look* lame.). For the most part, I have to tell you, non-fans *don't care*. You know that glazed look you get on your face when someone from the office starts rambling on about Tiger Woods and you couldn't give a flying fuck about golf? Or when your sister-in-law tells you all about her macramé class? Trust me. It's a *very rare* non-fan who isn't giving you that same look as soon as you utter the words "online fandom." It's not, "Ew! Geekery!" or "You sick fuck!" It's, "Oh god, what the HELL is she talking about and how long is she going to be talking about it? Can I make an excuse to get away or change the subject?" Of course, before anyone says anything, I'm basing this on my own personal experience (duh). It's the same glazed look I see when I talk about sports to non-sports fans, and when I talk about music to people who don't like the same music I do. Has nothing to do with the gay superhero porn. Trust me. Because that perks their interest up. "Superman's gay? And he's doing Lex Luthor? Really? And people write this stuff on the internet? No fucking way, man! That's so cool. ... So how about them Giants? (or, did you see 'White Oleander yet?' depending on the subset of friends I'm with *g*)." So yeah, I don't get the whole concept of hiding. I mean, yeah, okay, a room of one's own, you don't want other people all up in your business - I get that. But this need to pretend that fandom is some SuperSekrit Kingdom of Kool that's so cutting edge and 'mundanes' don't get it, but 'fen' do ('fen'. Bleh. Yet another term I hate. I see no need to call more attention than necessary to the stinky, swampy morass fandom can be. And you, over there by the dip? If you think calling yourselves 'fen' instead of 'fans' connotes something other than, oh, I don't know, nauseating coyness and the desire to set yourselves apart from 'fanatics', well, get over it, 'cause you know what? You are fanatics. I am, too. Anyone who spends this much time devoted to writing/reading/speculating about/creating websites and quizzes and art devoted to the (sex) lives of fictional characters is a fanatic. Own the truth, and the truth shall set you free, my sisters)... I understand the urge. Really, I do. I hated it when the Cure had a hit in 1989 with "Love Song" and then again with "Friday I'm in Love." I hated that suddenly the bands I knew and loved and thought were the sole province of my alterna-geek friends and me were popular. Popular is the kiss of death, right? If it's popular it can't be good, so we must all perpetrate perpetuate the myth that it's not popular, it's leading edge, it's alternative. Subversive. Transgressive. Politically empowering. Feminist, even. What the fuck ever. I'm off the point. Which is that this is not your father's fandom. Or even your older sister's. See, this internet thingy? The whole point is to connect people, make it easier for people to find things they're interested in and other people interested in the same things they are. If you're on the internet - and hello? If you're reading this, you are - you're out there, and trying to shove yourself back into a little... box (bet you thought I was going to say closet, didn't you?) because you're suddenly afraid that someone, whoever that may be, is going to find out about your our little hobby strikes me as terribly disingenuous. Especially for people who already use pseudonyms. Now, again, I'm from the latter days of fandom. As far as the online fandom timeline goes, I'm post-X-Files blowing up from cult hit to mainstream sensation, so to me, fandom has always been this way. I don't go out of my way to talk about it to people, but I don't hide it either. Now, this is in relationship to all of fandom, not just slash. Personally, I think a lot of slash fans need to get over themselves. You're not the end-all and be-all of fandom, and it wouldn't cease to exist without you (though it'd be much less rich and fulfilling. And less porny. A lot less porny.). Yes, there are homophobic assholes out there who don't like slash and don't want it written and may perhaps do something nasty like report you to your ISP for hosting slash on your website. And that really, really sucks big hairy donkey balls. But I think there are a lot of people - from all fandoms and all genres - who need to wake up and realize that it ain't 1996 anymore, and things are different now. Just because "we always did it that way" doesn't mean that that's how it's going to be done now. The internet evolves, fandom evolves, and you know why that is? Because it's a society, with a culture (many, many cultures in some cases), and societies are made of people and that's what people do. Smallville isn't Star Trek: The Original Series. It's not even Voyager. Just like Harry Potter isn't X-Files, and X-Men Evolution isn't 616. And thank God for that. I may not think much of one fandom or another, but I guess because I'm not ancient in fandom, I'm not going to go, 'Back in my day, when we walked ten miles uphill in the snow, without shoes, both ways' (I may do that about other things, but not this) because not only wasn't I around then, I don't think that things were necessarily better then. It's like G. is always saying, whenever we do a document for the Board, "How did we do it last year? Let's do it exactly the same way this time" even when I (or someone else) recommend a different (and sometimes better) way. "We've always done it that way" is no excuse to *keep* doing it that way, especially if the new way is better. I'm not saying any one fandom is better than any other, but I will certainly say that having fandom readily accessible when one goes looking for it is a helluva lot better than having it hidden away like something shameful. The thing I think will be the big test for fanfiction won't be media-oriented. It'll be litfic, and it'll be Harry Potter. This is where I do the whole digression on litfic. See, you buy a book, most of the work on creating that book was done by one person (aka, the author), with input from maybe two or three more people (the editors). All the art, the marketing, the misleading blurb writing and the log-rolling and the reviewing and the selling, that comes later. Not like a television show, a movie or a comic book, where yeah, there may be one name on the teleplay, but you know that a whole staff of writers sat in a room and worked on it, or, alternately, one or two guys created the characters, and 50 authors since then have taken a crack them, not to mention (in the case of comics) 100s of different artists. So yeah, Harry Potter - because JKR doesn't like it and it deals with kids. Slashing Harry and Draco may seem like a great idea, and that Hermione/Snape fic is getting you all hot, but *that's* going to be the place where the copyright holders are going to get us, because they're underage kids. And well, it's all about protecting the children, right? In America anyway. Until someone gets a bug up his/her ass about that, though, I doubt any network or studio or production company is going to get their noses out of joint over fanfic, because it's free publicity and it's not hurting their profits. As soon as fanfic somehow impinges on the profit margins of someone in power, *then* the shit will hit the fan. (or, like with Harry Potter, some right wing fundie with a bee in his bonnet over kiddie porn teams up with JK Rowling to stop the Harry/Hagrid.) Because before that happens, it's damn expensive to take a copyright infringement case to court and win, and most of these media conglomerates aren't going to do that. Because there's no guarantee that they *will* win (see The Wind Done Gone case) and losing would hurt them even more than doing nothing, at this point. So I'm thinking that yeah, it's all right to be cautious, but jesus, what we do is no secret to anyone with a modem and an interest in television/movies/comics etc. Type in "X-Men, Logan, Rogue" and the first hit on Google? Elizabeth Wilde's fanfic site. The second result? Jenn's old geocities page, and number five is her current X-Men index page. SSA is number 7 on a Google search for Smallville, sans any Clark, Lex or Clex search words. So back in the day, slash fans may have only mingled with other slash fans and gen fans may have mocked them, and vice versa, but we've come a long way, baby. Not all the way (as evidenced by cyclical eruptions of the "Why don't you slashers write more gen fic" and the "Why don't you gen fic writers ever write sex?" debates), but from what I've heard and read and been told, a long way. And I, for one, have no desire to go back to any kind of hidden or segregated version of fandom. Have you looked at my Big List O'Stories? I've written in 10 different fandoms (1 story in about six of those, not including HP. With HP, it's 11, but that story isn't done yet, and 100 words in WW probably shouldn't count). I don't think that would have ever happened if I didn't know people from various fandoms who encouraged me to do so, and who were willing to beta for me when my regular (Buffy/Angel/X-Men) guys weren't sure of canon or content. Some of it's slash. Some of it's het. Some of it is, god help me, twisted bad incesty wrongness (I blame Joss). And really, I've enjoyed the hell out of doing it, out of dipping my toes into various fannish waters before running home to XMM or Buffy, and it sounds to me like that wouldn't be as easy or as acceptable in 'the old days.' And in the end, folks, it's all about me. Never forget that. I guess, to sum up, change, as much as any of us hates it (and you won't find anyone more change averse than I), is good. Without change, things stagnate and die. So stop trying to shove fandom back in the closet. It's out, and so far, it's doing fine. ~victoria link [current mood: PMSy] [current music: Smooth - Santana featuring Rob Thomas] [random quote: we're just two lost souls living in a fishbowl, year after year...] ~*~ 11.11.02 - 11:27 p.m. again with the pimpage Okay, slightly more productiveness. Cleaned up the Wesleyfic and posted it. Also uploaded the Simon/River to the FireflyGlow archive, as well as uploading the Wesfic to the BFA. And, as you know, both are up on the site: Nor Ever Chaste and Useful. Can you tell I've nothing substantial to say? That's why I'm with the big (and utterly repetitive) pimping. In other news, JKR has apparently finished "Order of the Phoenix", or so internet rumor has it. I'm not seeing CoS until the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Or, rather, I'm seeing it with the fam then. I may try to go on Friday night. I have a feeling I've said all this already. My brain is turning to mush. I have no interest in any of my stories. What is happening to me? Maybe I need a break? I don't know, but I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I need a kick in the ass. Something to talk about or something to write about or just something... Sigh. ~victoria link [current mood: braindead] [current music: G Love and Special Sauce] [random quote: in the name of love, what more in the name of love?] ~*~ 11.11.02 - 6:32 p.m. fact and fiction are just a little too close for comfort I feel like I should have some meta goodness for you, or at least some fic, but uh, nope. Got nothing. Spent the day reading and then answering some email. Am thrilled to be back below 500 messages in my inbox. Still have more fic to read than you can shake a stick at, and a ton of editing to do... I have 5 completed stories that are just sitting waiting for editing, and I'm being lazy about it. This is very new to me. I'm not used to it. It's... weird. I'm happy I got Nor Ever Chaste out because at least I feel somewhat productive, even if it's a story in a fandom I've never even read a story for and haven't seen all the episodes, and which will probably be canceled sometime in March. Heh. So yeah, gacked some loverly icons from MPoetess, and trying to answer some email of the personal sort, and then maybe go back to reading The Demon in the Freezer, which is scaring the pants off me. I mean, when I read the article in The New Yorker a few years ago with the quotes from that Russian guy Ken Alibek about the Russians genetically engineering variola (that's smallpox to you and me), I was askeered, but other people managed to calm me down and point out the unlikely similarities to X-Files. Post-9/11, though, things are different, and if The Hot Zone was scary (and it was), this is about 1000 times scarier, because smallpox, man. It's built to kill people, and it does so with terrifying efficiency, and it's airborne. Even more than the flu book, which gave me some chills, this thing is scaring me. Yeah. There's a thriller in this for the scientifically inclined. That's just not me. I'm finding the real thing scary enough. I mean, bees and clones and alien human hybrids are fun because they're not real. Genetically engineered virii are, and this puts fact and fiction a little to close for comfort for me. ~victoria link [current mood: anxious] [current music: Come As You Are - nirvana] [random quote: living until you die is the only way to stay sane] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. 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