a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

11.22.02 - 1:00 a.m. recs, baby New recs are up: 15 stories in 6 fandoms. In other news, I got my hair cut tonight. The woman parted it in the center, which is never a good look on me. This is what I looked like. It may work for him, but on me it was... ::shudder:: But, hair cut, gifts bought, recs updated. Life is good. Sleep now. ~victoria link [current mood: tired] [current music: the rain on the air conditioner] [random quote: It's also sugarless Hooker/waitress Model/actress Oh, just go nameless Honeysuckle, she's full of poison She obliterat] ~*~ 11.21.02 - 4:25 p.m. and then BAM! out of nowhere, Wash goes from contemplating his love for his wife to... lusting after Simon Sigh. Sometimes I really hate slash and slashers. Hear me out. Just read what started out as a lovely little character piece - I haven't read much Firefly fic, as mostly what I'm interested in (Mal/Kaylee, Zoe/Wash, Zoe/Wash/Mal, Simon/River, Simon/River/Jayne, Kaylee/Inara) doesn't seem to come my way and I haven't gone out of my way looking. However, I clicked a link on a recs page and started reading a story - a lovely little fic where Wash contemplates flying. And I'm into it - the language is good, even if the story could use a good hard line edit - and then BAM! out of nowhere, Wash goes from contemplating his love for his wife to... lusting after Simon. What. The. Fuck? Not only is there NOTHING in canon (that I've seen) to support this, it comes out of fucking *nowhere* in the story. I hate that. Totally ruined the story for me. Makes me very unhappy. Not everything is about the slash, people. Seriously. ::shakes head:: ~victoria link [current mood: curmudgeonly] [current music: Black Magic Woman - Santana] [random quote: \"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.\" Charles Schultz] ~*~ 11.21.02 - 12:06 a.m. what *is* fanfic? Jumping off from Naomi Chana's post about a movie adaptation of The Iliad (or a movie version of the Trojan War, anyhow), I've been discussing with Pete and Dot just what fanfiction is, and what originality is, and what originality is worth. If anyone's got thoughts, feel free to share. Because I can't see writing Troy stories as fanfiction, necessarily. I mean, yes, in the technical sense, because you know that if Orlando Bloom is playing Paris, and other hot guys are playing all the other men, both Trojan and Achaean, that's going to inspire many teeny fans who would never otherwise go near The Iliad to write Troy fanfic, both het (Paris/Helen, Hector/Andromache, Achilles/Briseis, Agamemnon/Cassandra) and slash (Achilles/Patroclos, Achilles/Hector, Nestor/Odysseus, Aias/Aias, Menelaus/Paris). However, given the plethora of stories floating around in the world about these characters, dating from antiquity on, would any of this really be fanfiction, except in a technically legal sense in that the script for the movie is copyrighted and the use of dialogue etc. from the movie would be copyright infringement? If I write an Achilles/Patroclos story now, about their time in er, wherever the hell Achilles was from (I'm blanking on the details right now) and how they were closer than brothers, closer than lovers, and had many adventures before the war, is that fanfiction? I mean, the characters aren't copyrighted. It's the same as if I were to write a story using the Greek gods or the Egyptian pantheon, or a story in which the Second Coming of Jesus happens and he's born a Dominican girl in Washington Heights. Which reminds me - one of the ideas Jean, Diana and I have kicked around since college is the story of Wuthering Heights transplanted to modern Washington Heights, with Cliffie and Shaniqua instead of Heathcliff and Cathy. Is that fanfiction? Where are the lines drawn? When does "inspired by" or "based on" become fanfic? (And where does plagiarism enter into this, if at all?) Is Clueless fanfic of Emma? It's based on it. Or Ever After or Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister fanfic of Cinderella? Wicked as fanfic of Wizard of Oz? Where are the lines between inspired by/adapted from and fanfiction? And I'm not talking craptacular Legolas/Gimli/Mary Sue threesome fic where Mary Sue destroys the Ring and they all live happily ever after in the Mines of Moria. I'm talking a something like Soiled Dove. Or Jen's Wentworth Saga for Angel.. If she sold it as a script to the show or a tie-in novel, would it still be fanfiction? or if I sold Soiled Dove to Marvel for an Elseworlds/What if... one-shot book, would it still be fanfiction? Or say, King Hamlet had a daughter, not a son. Hamia instead of Hamlet. Everything else remains the same. Maybe Hamia is disguised as a boy and brought up as a boy so King Hamlet can pass his throne onto her instead of to his evil brother Claudius. Is that fanfiction or a legitimate reworking of the text? And is the only difference official sanction? By which I mean, I write this play, call it Hamia, A Radical New Hamlet, and get some theatre troupe to perform it. It becomes a hit and goes to Shakespeare in the Park, where Hamia is played by Gwyneth Paltrow and Ophelia by Emily Watson. Is it still fanfiction? Is Kurosawa's Ran, King Lear fanfic? Or the other one Kurosawa did, Throne of Blood, that's the story of Macbeth in feudal Japan. Is that fanfic? Edited to correct titles. Thanks, Sarah. If I change the names Logan and Rogue to Michael and Audrey, and leave everything else in Time's Fool the same, with some fiddling about mutations - calling them magical enhancements or something - would the story be fanfic? I'm not trying to be ornery. I'm just throwing these questions out. Because I'm interested in what you think of as original (and why original is so much more heavily weighted than 'unoriginal' or 'derivative' - and I do this myself, so I'm not casting stones). So, what is fanfiction? What is "originality"? Why is the latter valued over the former (leaving aside issues of quality. I'd rather read well-written fanfic than watch a great many of the shows on television.)? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? ~victoria link [current mood: thoughtful] [current music: baby you can drive my car, yes I'm gonna be a star] [random quote: Some writers confuse authenticity, which they ought always to aim at, with originality, which they should never bother about.] ~*~ 11.20.02 - 10:42 p.m. Liar's Poker - a Rogue POV Nothing much of interest on West Wing tonight. Glad I got my story out before the new ep, though. This whole writing post-episode stories is... odd. Not my usual thang, you know? For something else not quite my usual thang, another wee bit of Liar's Poker. If you recall, I posted a bit of this back in September, and I've got a little more written. It's a much different style for me - I'm going for the lush, feverish kind of thing and yes, it's so purple it's almost an eggplant, but there ya go. For some reason, it works for me in this particular story. Rogue POV, follows directly after the bit I posted last time. *** When she rolls over, he's already gone. {Note: Khaki posted this as a first line challenge a while ago, and I just sort of threw it in where it fit. *g*} She stretches, feeling the soreness between her legs, luxuriating in it, knowing that he's bound to her even more closely now. She understands his fear, his ambivalence, the way honor and desire war within him. She is sure that love -- his love for her -- will overcome all the obstacles he places in their way. He touched her and she knows him. The first time, she initiated the contact, an attempt to save her life using his healing power. She learned his fears and hopes, his desire to die, transmuted at the moment of her touch, into the desire to live. The second time is a rush of white light -- his love, pure and blinding -- his willingness to sacrifice himself for her. Other people talk about death as a white light. For Rogue, the light of the machine was death, yes, but the light of Logan's love is what brought her back. To others, the white streaks in her hair are reminders of failure, pain, loss. To Rogue, they are a symbol of the dazzling flare of love Logan poured into her, a visible reminder of how much he really cares. The third time... She shivers in delight whenever she thinks of it. The third time he touched her, the love was there, and the desire to live, and the love and desire came together in sheer, animal need. He willed her to heal because he needs her. Wants her. Loves her. And it scares him to death. She knows he's been dreaming of her -- her body, her kisses, her scent -- and she also knows that he believes it's wrong, he's wrong. And he is. Not in the way he believes. No. He thinks he's wrong for her. But that's not it. He's wrong to deny what is between them -- the connection that even death hasn't been able to sever. In fact, their bond has been cemented by her death, and his willingness to follow her into its shadow and bring her back. But he only sees the shame -- the difference in their ages, experiences, backgrounds. He sees himself as nothing, no one, going nowhere. She sees that together they can make a future that will eclipse his lost past and her troubled one. They fit together in ways that she never expected, never even hoped for. And so she is willing to wait. Now that he's tasted her, she knows that he won't stay away for long. His hunger for her is wild and fierce, and she will use that to her advantage. She's learned much from him over the past few years; it is her turn to be the hunter, and his, the prey. And patience is the key to hunting. She will wait him out, until he sees that his place is at her side. She pushes down the fear and doubt, tells herself that he is addicted to her, as she is addicted to his touch. He looks at her like a drowning man eyes a life preserver, and eventually, he will realize that it is only together that they can have a life. Alone, they can survive -- they've both made an art of that -- but together they can live, with all the attendant joys and sorrows. She wants that so badly she can taste it amid the salty, sweaty flavor the night's lovemaking has left in her mouth. *** The first days afterward pass in a blur. He stays away and she lets him have his space. She knows he needs the time to acclimate to the change in their relationship. When a week passes, and they’ve done nothing but pass in the hall, with hellos mumbled and eyes averted, she knows she must take action. She goes to him again. She learned after the very first night years ago not to startle him awake, so she calls softly to him, edging her way into the room, hoping her voice and scent will rouse him. *** As always, comments and suggestions are welcome. Especially typo-spotting. *g* This is still very much a work in progress. ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy yet content] [current music: Walk through the Fire - BTVS Cast] [random quote: so one by one they turn from me, I guess my friends can't face the cold (what can't we face together?)] ~*~ 11.20.02 - 1:35 p.m. WW Fic! And rambly Buffy thoughts A Probable Impossibility is done and posted to lists, as well as to the LJ, since I don't know when I'll be updating the site again. I feel all productive. This means I have a "real" WW story to list now. Woohoo! Go me! I've got almost all the backlog of finished-but-need-editing stories out (Snapefic, watchfic and cheesefic are all that's left). Of course, that means I'm going to have to start working on the WIPs again, which scares the hell out of me. Sigh. Also, random thoughts on my relationship with Smallville, for those who are interested. In other news, in thinking about it, I'm not quite so disappointed in last night's Buffy as I thought I was. There was a lot of nice stuff, including the Scoobs communicating with each other before the season finale, and the handling of the visitations. I enjoyed the Anya-Spike scene, and since I know they're not going to dust Spike (at least not until the very end they're not), I can kind of enjoy watching JM chew the scenery with the guilt. I just... We got a glimpse of the old Spike last night, even if he was all being manipulated/brainwashed, and I enjoyed it and I miss him. I still want to know why (aside from stupid network shit), neither Buffy nor Angel has called the other to discuss the Evil That Rains Fire and Eats Your Ass First. Because I'm definitely sensing a convergence of apocalypses here. Otherwise, even my flexible suspension of disbelief may be all pulled out of whack. ~victoria link [current mood: productive] [current music: I shoulda learned to play the guitar, I shoulda learned to play them drums] [random quote: \"And if a 10 ton truck killed the both of us, to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.\"] ~*~ 11.20.02 - 10:40 a.m. Numfar, do the dance of new computers! Happy Endings - Chlexark porny goodness. I've also got the samfic ready to post, but was distracted this morning because... I got a new computer! Woohoo! Finally. No more waiting 20 minutes for the thing to boot and 15 minutes for it to open Word. No more runs to the mailslots while it opens an email or prints. Life is gonna be good. I'm sure I had some other fannish things to say, but I'm giddy as a schoolgirl over my new PC, so later for that. Whee! ~victoria link [current mood: ecstatic] [current music: Walk Through the Fire - BtVS Cast] [random quote: I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. ~Jane Austen] ~*~ 11.19.02 - 1:18 p.m. I say met-ah, you say may-tah, let's call the whole thing off So, didja all read the article on meta in the Times? Good. She's mostly talking about meta in fiction itself, which I'm rarely a big fan of. Honestly, what she says about didacticism is right on, and the whole, "Oh aren't we clever" vibe just annoys me tremendously. I prefer my metatextual references slicker, and that's one reason I love Buffy so. Because JW et al. toss them off at a rapid pace and it never slows down the show, and, for the most part, let us know that while he didn't take the premise too seriously, he certainly took his characters seriously. Lately, I think one of the problems of the show (over the past 4 years or so), is that it lost that original vision when the Slayerettes left high school, and then they started tackling "Adult" issues, and started taking the *show* seriously on a literal level, rather than on the metaphorical level while winking at the absurdity of the premise. If that makes sense. Anyhow, the version of 'meta' that I'm most interested in usually, is less 'meta' and more 'litcrit'. I think it's because of my background in English lit that I enjoy these discussions so much - both of the shows, and (far too) occasionally, of the stories shows inspire. What I mean is, we may call it 'meta', but sitting around discussing what's going to cause Lex and Clark's rift, or why Buffy didn't stake Spike after Seeing Red isn't really meta. It's simply critical discussion of a text. Meta is, well, there's a reason I posted this quote: "... I realized that the same conversation is going on all over. It's about different things, but it's the exact same conversation. It starts with someone saying something provocative, then a bunch of people come down on him really hard, and then he's just about to give up when someone else comes down on his side and then people start arguing about the tactics that are used in the arguing, and the conversation dissipates into this metaconversation." -- Douglas Rushkoff That's what meta is. Discussion of the discussion. When we talk about *how* we're talking about a subject, that's meta. And I think these definitions have become blurred, and there are all these people out there going, "meta. Bleh." And other people are going, "But I *love* to debate the ramifications of Lucas Luthor/the Simon/River vibe/ConCord" etc. and then they get all fartoyched because they take it as that anti-intellectual thing that occasionally gets tossed around (and really, I'd say that the blogging section of fandom is one that can't be tarred with that label, regardless of certain people's inclinations to self-identify that way and other people's inclinations to accuse the self-identifiers of such behavior). And let's face it, there's a huge strain of anti-intellectualism in America. Always has been, always will be. And while the Internet is not American, there's a heavy American bias to it, especially in fandom, where a majority of the shows/movies/bands that people write about and talk about are of American origin. But that's not my point. No. Metadiscussion is when, as Rushkoff says, a discussion turns from the original topic (e.g., Willow's sexuality) to the manner in which the discussion is being conducted. For example, a newsgroup thread (much simplified): "Willow's gay. [proof from canon]" "No, she's bi. [proof from canon]" "Gay!" "Bi!" "You stupid git!" "Jerk!" and then, boom. Meta: "Everyone here is so negative!" "Don't feed the trolls!" "Can't everyone get along?" "Back in the old days, we spanked newbies who posted shit like that..." Fandom_wank is heavy meta, because it's all about how fans relate to each other. Metablog... not so much. Now, *my* question is, when we discuss writing - our own writing, our own takes on the characters, etc., and then we post a story - while that type of entry itself isn't really 'meta' (I'd say it's more in the way of the critical discussion I mentioned above), what effect does it have on the reader? I discussed this way back in July Examples include (and god help me, I'm not trying to stir up trouble, I'm just using solid examples) the stir over Jenn's Handful of Dust or Hope's In a Season of Calm Weather or Koi's Mercy or Grail's Immortality. And there are various ways I can take this discussion now, including torch's post on how fanfic affects one's view of canon and other fanfic. Because if I read X story and say, "Oh my god, I never thought of Y like that! It all makes sense now!" that's a good thing, because the story illuminates character both in its own sphere and also in canon. Really good writers are able to do this a lot. But if I read story X and say, "Oh my god, I hate character Y forever and ever and will never look at her the same way again! How could she *do* that?", that's a problem, mainly because canon-Y never did that, even if fic-Y did, so hating canon-Y for doing Z based on story X is just... ridiculous, though I know it happens. It even happens to me, and that's when I step away from the computer and go look at the source text again. But the people in torch's LJ cover that territory pretty well. So I'm more interested in the ways a writer's thoughts on writing, and specifically on writing a specific story (to use me as an example, my whining about the Samfic), affect a reader's reading of the story, if at all. If I say I labored over it and wonder if it's just a rehash of the episode, do you go in and look at it and say, "Yeah, those sentences are clunky. You can tell she had to work, the strain is showing." Or "Damn, why did she bother writing this? It's just a rehash of the episode"? Or if I write about how much I love Rogue and how she's my favorite character, will a reader be more inclined to think that I, as a writer, am giving her the benefit of the doubt in a story where, perhaps, she shouldn't have it? See Burying the Dead - do you take it seriously as a reader because I'm an avowed and vocal Logan/Rogue shipper? Or do you take it as intended, as a piece of dark comedy with two sociopaths as the protagonists? Do you take it the second way simply because I said it was a comedy in my diary? Do you feel betrayed by that? Should I have followed my own advice and kept my mouth shut about the story after I posted it? Me, I can generally separate an author's stories from her blog. But I'm curious if other people do that, or if they let statements like, "I hate Lana!" influence their read of a certain author's Lana (or whoever, in whatever fandom). Anyone got an answer? ~victoria link [current mood: meta-tastic!] [current music: Young Americans - David Bowie] [random quote: \"They took out his soul to give him more stomach.\" Robert, on Frank. Everybody Loves Raymond] ~*~ 11.19.02 - 2:15 a.m. Samfic, draft one Okay, couple things. Keep in mind that this was written in an extremely sleep-deprived state, that I've never officially written West Wing fic, and that Sam's head isn't exactly easy to get inside... With that, I give you draft one of the Sam fic... (All dialogue is taken directly from the show.) A Probable Impossibility He makes a promise to a widow. "Tell Mrs. Wilde, tell Kay that I'll do it." Even as he says the words, he knows they're meaningless. A Democrat hasn't won the California 47th in possibly forever. A dead Democrat has even less of a chance. He tries to put it out of his mind as Election Day approaches; he keeps a weather eye on the polls and everyone thinks it's just because it's his home district, and that Will Bailey is an up-and-comer who reminds him of himself. He wonders, though, in the few hours he spends at home, his mind revving too fast for sleep. He sees himself in the House, then perhaps the Senate. His unspoken dreams of coming back to the White House as President one day were vocalized by the President himself, and Sam believes in him. But in the cold light of day, with trying to run the country and help with the campaign, his dreams fade to nothing. Because a Democrat has no hope of winning the California 47th, and even a slamdunk live candidate with the energy and belief of Will Bailey behind him couldn't do it, so a dead one certainly won't. While he's always been able to believe six impossible things before breakfast (and if he hadn't, working in the White House would have taught him), this one thing is so improbable, so ludicrous, that even he can't wrap his head around it. When the thoughts do surface during daylight, when he's reminded of the times he's been betrayed or left out, he pushes them down. He's over the resentment of being treated as though he can't be trusted. He really is. Except that it sometimes still gnaws at him during those same few sleepless hours he spends in his cold and empty bed. He doesn't tell anyone until Election Night, and then, he tells only Donna. Because she's the only one who won't look at him like he's crazy. Donna knows about life-changing decisions made at what looks like the drop of a hat. She drove almost twelve hundred miles to join the campaign in Nashua in much the same way he'd walked out of Gage Whitney's boardroom to follow Josh to the same place. So he sits with her on Election Night, watching the returns in disbelief. He lies on Toby's couch and wonders how this could possibly be happening. He's talking to himself, to Donna, the words running through his mind and out his mouth in a steady stream. "'A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility,'" he tells her. "The impossible is preferable to the improbable." Except, of course, that not only is Horton Wilde winning the election impossible, it's highly improbable. No one, least of all him, expected it. And yet, he should have known as soon as he opened his mouth and told Will Bailey he'd do it, that fate would conspire against him. He can hear Toby's groan at the cliché without ever voicing the words. But it's true. This is the kind of thing that would only happen to Sam Seaborn, an Aristotelian confluence of events of the sort that no one would believe if it were fictional. "By the way, when I said I'd run in his place, it's not like I meant it," he says, and he can hear the whine in his voice. But he did mean it on some level, or he never would have offered. He wants to be the real thing, like Bartlet is the real thing. Donna takes his hand, takes him back to the party to have cake, and all the while, his head is spinning. When his picture appears on television, his name announced as the rumored candidate for the run-off, he tries to play it off. He seeks out Toby, Josh and CJ, ostensibly to explain, to have them help him craft an excuse he can give to Will, to Mrs. Wilde. But the barely acknowledged truth is already pushing its way to the surface of his brain. He wants to run. He wants them to tell him he can do it. Should do it. He tells the President he's not running. He tells himself the same thing, but by this point he doesn't quite believe it. His brain has started to kick up reasons he should do it, and most have nothing to do with placating House Democrats. When he comes back to CJ's office, she says, "We think you should run," and Amy explains her reasoning. "You're not going to win, so you can't lose." And he knows she's telling the truth, that he could run a good race and that there's really no downside, but he turns to Toby, because he wants more than that, and he knows, out of all of them, Toby will be the one to break it down and tell the truth. And he does. "You have to ask yourself, is it worth it? You're going to lose. A Democrat's always going to lose in the 47th." But a dead man, a dead liberal Democrat, just won, and Sam's feeling the touch of fate right now. Opportunity is knocking and while the speechwriter in him winces at his reliance on clichés tonight, the dreamer in him knows that this could be his chance. Toby's words make him think, take a step back to look at the big picture, to see the whole board. And he knows he can do better than just placate the House Democrats. He can make it about issues. He can be the real thing, as improbable as it seems right now. He can do this. "Then I think you should win," Toby says, and Sam knows his probable impossibility has just become improbably possible. end *** Bed now, I think. Tomorrow, back to XMM... ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: silence] [random quote: A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. This site is best viewed with IE4+ | 1024x768 | true color | verdana | tables