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a fool's musings |
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Warning: Adult Content "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest
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12.21.02 - 3:17 p.m. Jingle Bells, Bethy's birthday ficlet, has been uploaded, for your reading pleasure. Cleaned the apartment, shopped for orange juice and milk and such for the kidlets, and am now waiting patiently for them to arrive. Very excited. ~victoria [current mood: excited] [current music: All Through The Night - Cyndi Lauper (in my head)] [random quote: “I don’t slur, I mumble.” JH Brodie, HLotS] ~*~ 12.20.02 - 10:58 p.m. My brother and his wife and kids are coming to visit me tomorrow. They haven't seen the apartment yet. Well, Helen did, the day I moved in, but Dom hasn't. And the kids haven't. Victor keeps asking me if it's clean. Because he was in the old apartment once and was appalled at how messy it was. So tonight I started straightening and tomorrow I'll vacuum and Swiffer it up, so it's presentable. I know they're going to report back to the parents (well, to my dad, who's hung up on neatness), so I want it to be spiffy. Or as spiffy as a seriously indifferent housekeeper like me can get it. So they're going to visit and then we'll all go to dinner, and then they're going to see the tree in Rockefeller Center. I'm very excited about this. After the first two years in my old apartment, I never had people over. I mean, like, never. So having people over here is such a cool, new experience for me. Leslie says she thinks I have the makings of an excellent hostess, and if that means having a comfy couch and beer on hand, I'm all over it. I also watched the two-hour Firefly - which was the original premiere before Fox made them shelve it in favor of one I haven't seen. I don't understand why. This was a kickass episode. Thoughts will be up in the LJ sometime soon. Let me just say, Mal in tight pants? Yummy. Mal in tight pants on horseback? I thought I was going to slide off the couch. My god. ::mumbles incoherently:: I don't understand why this show got cancelled, but a piece of crap like John Doe hasn't. It's funny, what attracts us and what we get attached to and will get defensive over. Katta was talking about attraction the other day, and though she was mainly talking about sex and looks, I'm thinking about characters and why they speak to us and what our attachments to certain characters (or musicians or actors or athletes) say about us. I guess because I'm wondering about my reaction to the whole Faramir thing. You can look back in this diary and ask anyone who's emailed with me - I have been worried about this since before FotR came out. And part of my big bad reaction to the change in Faramir in the movie comes from the fact that I attached myself to him at a very young age. It would be like someone remaking Star Wars (the original one, the real thing) and making Han Solo a spy for the Empire who turns Leia in before he has his change of heart. It just doesn't make sense. Ahem. So yeah, that's something I'm thinking about, because I think who we attach to, what characters we defend and which ones we are indifferent to, says a whole lot about us as people, and what we like/respect/believe/expect. But later for that. I'm still thinking about Mal on horseback, and Mal with the dead-eye aim, and also the Wolvie icons I made tonight:
Thanks, DD, for the pics! Speaking of thanks and DD, she sent me the bestest gift. I got the conditioner, and some lip blotting papers, a pulp fiction postcard of the cover of Junkie! Confessions of an Unredeemed Drug Addict (she knows my obsessions well), an adorable green, heart-shaped patch that says "Marie" on it (and can't you just see Rogue sneaking it onto Logan's jacket and him grumbling about it but then not taking it off? *sigh*) and a lovely purple journal. And Pete. Pete is a most magnificent bastard. He sent me Clark and Lex action figures for Christmas. All hail Pete! Plus, the bosses chipped in and got me a gift certificate to Bloomie's (and for a substantial amount, too. I almost cried) so I could "buy something for the apartment" and a box of Godiva truffles. My boys (and L.) love me. Hee! Life is good. I'm seeing the kidlets tomorrow and I got pressies. What more could I want? ~victoria ~*~ 12.20.02 - 11:54 a.m. Unfit For Society recs are updated. 9 stories, 3 fandoms. For my sins, that's 7 Harry Potter, 1 LotR and 1 X-Men comics stories. I'm going to the special hell, aren't I? ~victoria ~*~ 12.20.02 - 10:27 a.m. Last night I dreamt that I was working for Lindsey McDonald (mrrowrr), who had teamed up (very reluctantly) with one Dana Scully to investigate odd, demony goings-on at a hospital. There were pregnant women in waiting rooms and rushing through hidden corridors and schlepping luggage through airports and - scariest of all - a huge mutant chicken roaming the streets of Miami (which is where the dream took place). I fear my brain. Oh yes, I do. I'm still on the Faramir tip in the LJ and if you've not read the books and you go see TTT, please stop by and read it, because I basically copied out Faramir's pivotal scene from the book, and you can see how different he is in the movie, and how *wrong*. In other news, commute was something of a nightmare, but I'm zen about it. I have this mantra running through my mind, and god only knows where it came from, because it's not Buddhist, it's Christian - "I am poised and centered in the mind of Christ" - and lately I find myself repeating it to myself whenever things get hectic. I mean, yeah, we meditated occasionally in religion class when I was in school, but even though I went to 16 years of Catholic school, none of them were incredibly religious or devout or fanatical, imo. I mean, in college, I didn't even have to take a religion class- there was a requirement and religion was an option, but you could choose philosophy (which I took) or ethics instead. In high school, in junior and senior year, my religion classes were things like, Sex and Sexuality, Morality, Death and Dying, and World Religions. I guess they figured by that point, if you weren't indoctrinated, you probably weren't going to be, so best to teach you other things that might be useful in life. The thing that gets me about this mantra, if that's what it is, is that it's "in the mind of Christ." You'd think it'd be the heart or soul. Christianity doesn't much value brainpower. And I say again, I fear my brain, that it dredges up these things I learned or heard god only knows how many years ago. But I can't remember to pay my bills on time. ::shakes head:: Jumping topics, have I mentioned how much I dislike blinking, moving, or flashing things on my computer screen? Unless I'm specifically watching a video/movie clip etc., I don't want things flashing at me. I find it distracting and not a little freaky. Yes, I am that persnickety. Of course, I occasionally find myself longing for the soothing tones of amber on black, so yeah, take it for what it's worth. As for writing, I haven't been doing any. Last night I was thinking of Bab!Rogue, and I've discovered one of my real problems as a writer. I don't mind rewriting if something isn't working, but I hate/loathe/despise reimagining or revamping. Like the end of the watchfic needs to be changed. Not edited or rewritten because the language doesn't work or sound right, but the whole damned *idea* has to change. It's not X anymore, it's Y now. And I have this reluctance, this strange dread, of doing that. With any story. To use Bab!Rogue as an example, the original conception is that Rogue is a young woman offering her one-time service at the Temple of Ishtar, but because of the streaks in her hair, the rumor spreads that she's been touched by the gods and that to lie with her is death for any man. So she lingers in the Temple precincts until Logan comes along and shags her and lets her get on with her life. But that makes it difficult for anything else to happen without massive contrivances to get her back into Logan's life. Then I was thinking that maybe she wasn't just a regular girl doing her one-time service, but some sort of special acolyte being groomed to be a priestess, and no one was supposed to touch her (yet) because she was going to be the bride of the king (or some such nonsense. I know there were yearly rituals with the king mating with the land and the king mating with the goddess, so...), but Logan picks her out and she goes and then they have to go on the run because they've just committed some sort of huge sacrilege. And the idea of revamping the whole story to fit that really just makes me queasy with dread. I don't quite know why that is. I don't have any trouble changing directions as I'm writing something, but writing it and then deciding to completely change it? ::shudder:: It's like my worst writing nightmare. But I will face it, somehow. As for the J/D, poor Donna is still sitting in Josh's apartment, drinking a pina colada and waiting for him to show. I have the scene in my head, but I haven't had time to write. Or rather, I haven't *made* time to write. I've allowed myself to be distracted by other things. Definitely a big failing of mine, being easily distracted. ... ooh shiny... what was I saying, again? ~victoria ~*~ 12.19.02 - 3:36 p.m. In discussing the whole "seeing the writer in the writing" bit, Mara wrote: I think it's mostly just wanting to connect - with the author, with the character... People tend to see connections and patterns even when there aren't any. It's the way our brains function. So even though I can say, "Oh, I don't care about that actor's or writer's personality, etc." I find that I *am* influenced to some degree. I don't like Russell Crowe at all, from what I've heard of him as a person. I think he's a spectacular actor, but I'd never call myself a fan of his. Hugh Jackman, on the other hand, has never conducted himself with anything less than grace while in the spotlight, so while he has yet to prove (in movies I've seen anyway) he can act at Crowe's level, I'm much more a fan of his. Same with say, Anne Lamott - I find her grating and pretentious. I know she's a good writer, but she irritates me, so I can't really read her fiction now that I've read her nonfiction. Neil Gaiman, on the other hand, continues to enchant me, both through his blog and his fiction. So part of it is looking for something like ourselves in the characters, and therefore in the author. With fanfiction, especially, since a lot of it is cathartic writing written by young girls, of course we worry if they spend too much time writing about rape/murder/torture/incest/cutting etc. On the one hand, it's a way to explore darker fantasies (in the sense of imaginings, not things we'd like to have happen) safely, and it's a way for people who've undergone trauma to cope, because one of the most important things for grieving or traumatised people is to tell their story and believe that someone is listening. On the other hand, it's worrisome to think that some of the people we know, even if "only" from online, have had so many bad experiences and are writing about them. Does that make sense, or is it just a lot of hooha? Hee! While looking up something on Faramir, I found a bunch of essays on Middle-Earth and Tolkien, and this: Even Faramir's dream, of the overpowering wave welling up in the ocean, owes something to a real experience. Tolkien himself confessed to having had the dream. Like every writer before him, and every writer since, Tolkien put something of himself into his creation. [...] (from Et tu, Faramir, which isn't about Faramir at all. Bugger.) We seek Tolkien in Middle-Earth. Whole schools of literary criticism are built on reading the author's life experiences into a text. Is it any wonder we do it with fanfiction? And I have more TTT thoughts in the LJ , mostly about, you guessed it, Faramir. God, I think the woman who made my iced mocha latte put an extra shot of espresso in it or something, because I can't stop shaking. ~victoria ~*~ 12.19.02 - 9:26 a.m. Quick TTT thoughts up in the LJ. Spoilers abound. More later. Suffice it to say, my reservations about Faramir were correct, I think the Ents got short shrift, but overall? It rocked out. ~victoria ~*~ 12.18.02 - 2:53 p.m. In an attempt to make today go more quickly, I spent a good portion of the morning doing this. What is "this," you ask? Well, The Fannish Songs survey got me thinking. I've said a number of times how I don't write 'true' songfic, but an awful lot of my stories were inspired by music. Some of them are titled with song titles or lyrics, but the songs has nothing to do with the story. Some are inspired by songs and it shows in the story, even if the song is never quoted, and some weave song lyrics and the story of the song into the fic itself. So I decided to go through my rather long list of stories and separate them out into three categories: Stories inspired by songs, stories whose titles have been stolen from songs otherwise unrelated to the story, and stories that actually incorporate the plot of the song or lyrics from it into the narrative. I haven't included the few stories that have no musical relationship whatsoever. Group I: Stories inspired by songs The Empire of the Senses (XMM) The One Sure Thing (XMM) The Envious Moon (XMM) Comfortador(BtVS) Scratching at the Eightball (XMM) Girls Talk (XMM) The Devil's in the Dreaming (XMM) Lost and Found (XMM/H:LotS) Piece of My Heart (XMM) Christmas Wrapping (XMM) My Time Is Gonna Come (XMM) Bikini Kill (XMM) Keep It Like a Secret (XMM) Love Me Two Times (XMM) Angel of the Evening (XMM) First Trick of the Day (XMM) Alone Again Or... (XMM) In the Service of the Queen (AtS) Love Will Tear Us Apart (XMM) In Between Days (XMM) The Space Between (XMM) A Question of Trust (XMM) Circle of Life (XMM) The Real Slim Shady (XMM) Full of Grace (XMM-Unspoken RR) A Little Gossip (XMM-Unspoken RR) Who You Are (XMM) Slight Return (XMM) No Day But Today: Joy & No Day But Today: Pain (XMM) Stay(XMM) Feel Me Don't You (XMM) The Ties That Bind (XMM) No One Is to Blame (XMM) Invisible (XMM) The Ghost In You (XMM) A Harbor in the Tempest (XMM) Untouchable Face (XMM) Our Noble Scars (XMM) 32 Flavors (XMM) Raining In Baltimore (XMM) Two Out of Three Ain't Bad (XMM) Should Have Taken a Chance (XMM) Forever Doesn't Mean Forever (XMM) Kindness Falls Like Rain (XMM) Just My Imagination (XMM) Waiting in Vain (XMM) Learning to Accept (XMM) He Knows (XMM) Jim Morrison's Dead (XMM) Not Like Years Ago (BtVS) Magic In the Night (XMM) Running to Stand Still (XMM) ~victoria ~*~ 12.18.02 - 12:05 a.m. TTT gets 4 stars in the Daily News The Times calls it "gripping and intense" and "a rare perfect mating of filmmaker and material". (Also, read about Viggo Mortensen's appearance on Charlie Rose, decrying the use of the film as pro-war-with-Iraq propaganda) The Post gives it 3 stars and contains this horrifying sentence: But this fidelity - broken only by the emphasis on the female elves played by Cate Blanchett and Liv Tyler, and the turning of Faramir of Gondor (David Wenham) into a quasi-villain (emphasis mine) - is also at the root of the film's occasional stiffness. ::cue anguished screams:: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! How is that even POSSIBLE? And from the Washington Post: It alone among them transcends. It works as story for the common narrative-starved fool, who needs heroic example and pulsating, vicariously energizing experiences of love and hate. You don't have to be one of those Hobbit-like geeks who've lost themselves in this world so intensely there is no other – though I hasten to add that there's nothing wrong with knowing more about Middle Earth than, er, Earth. You can – and this is the cool part – enjoy dual citizenship in the world where trees launch assaults on castles and the one where bills come due. Whichever citizenship you claim, you walk out and you think, that was a hell of a story. And another quote I like, at the end of this really funny, flippant and not-too-respectful review: But underneath it all is the same issue that defined Tolkien's life, the battle between Western democracy and monsters who wanted to destroy it. Read into it what you want, or read nothing into it, but it's really the oldest story of all. It's the one about a band of free men on a hilltop with nothing to get them through the night but their belief in themselves and their cause and the long steel they carry in their scabbards. The LA Times is barely lukewarm on it, but I expect no more from them. New York Magazine joins the others in saying Gollum is the best thing in the movie, and I'm guessing if you like big battle scenes, you're going to love it, and if you don't, you might be disappointed. Me, I dig guys with swords and bows so... *G* I'm still not reconciled to that horrible news about Faramir, though. It can't be true, can it? Please tell me it's not? I'd rather have Boromir around if one of them is going to be villainous. Darker and fleeter than its predecessor, The Fellowship of the Ring, alternately more relaxed and more exciting, the middle child of Middle Earth evinces a supple, brooding grandeur. Director Peter Jackson succeeds, with The Two Towers, in finding and—more crucially—sustaining a rhythm, crosscutting adroitly between the broken fellowship's three factions. Jackson puts most of Hollywood's vaunted action directors to shame, creating bloody chaos on a grand scale without resorting to spatial incoherence. He also craftily restructures the trilogy in order to close Two Towers on a note of queasy alarm, creating a quiet cliff-hanger.—Mike D'Angelo Here's a brief interview with Peter Jackson in EW and here's their review. Can you tell I'm really excited and can't wait for tonight? Nine hours to go... ~victoria ~*~
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