a fool's musings

Boreas by Waterhouse
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content

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"pathological and unbalanced"


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12.27.02 - 1:20 p.m.

I thought character assassination in the name of raising another character was the realm of bad fanfic writers and er, ::ducks:: Marti Noxon

Spent my morning reading the What if LotR had been written by someone else? thread on Straight Dope.

Instead of being all inspired, I'm just depressed by their creativity, and the fact that other people did Faulkner. I wanted to do Faulkner. FayJay, on my LJ Friends List, has a BtVS version that's cool.

I am in a huge wasteland, creatively. Nothing is flowing, and even when I have ideas, I have no desire to sit and write. I want to do other things, even just hit refresh on my friends page 18,999 times instead of writing. I don't know what that is, but it *is* and it's driving me kind of crazy.

Well, that and my continued Legolas/Mary Sue fantasies.

I'm going to be on the LotR thing for a while, folks. Old obsessions never die, they just recede until the appropriate moment, and this is one of my oldest. The only things that predate LotR in my fannish life are baseball, Trixie Belden and Star Wars. And possibly the Brady Bunch, but I'm not quite sure about that. Oh, and Simon and Garfunkel. Yes.

As I am never going to write Trixie Belden or Brady Bunch fic and have found others to sate my Star Wars needs when the urge strikes, and TTT is still so new and shiny, I will be discussing it ad nauseum. As if you couldn't tell. *g*

I'm kicking around ideas for a Frodo PCR, brought on by how much Gollum resembles Frodo. But maybe it should be a Sam POV, because you know Sam sees the resemblance.

I'm also tempted to try and fix Faramir, but dammit, I shouldn't have to.

I thought character assassination in the name of raising another character was the realm of bad fanfic writers and er, ::ducks:: Marti Noxon*. I never expected it of Peter Jackson et al., and especially not with Faramir. Not after they made Boromir so sympathetic. But perhaps I need to write a companion piece to Absolution that explains why Faramir is different in the movie.

Yesss, preciousss...

I'm also hoping to get some work done on the next Han/Logan - I guess it'll have to be New Year's since I missed Christmas - and of course, the XMM/LotR fic, which is percolating.

Josh/Donna... I need to get back to that as well. And I have a ton of notes on the watchfic, as well as Dreams in Red and The Prodigal, and they all need working on. Then I'll get back to Liar's Poker and Consumption.

I keep telling myself that, and maybe if I keep talking, I'll believe it.

I also maybe want to write the Hermione POV for Thirst, or a sequel, anyway. And the "Chloe and Lex save the world while Clark is on a much-needed vacation" fic. I even have a supervillain, thanks to the psg folks.

Also, I'm thinking I need to track down a script for "His Girl Friday" and do it up as a Chloe/Lex fic.

And maybe tackle Inara, and do some femslash with Inara/Kaylee. I keep saying I'm going to write femslash, but it just doesn't... it doesn't motivate me. I don't read a lot of it, because I'm not much of a chick-fancier. See, I can totally dig an attractive woman in the aesthetic sense, and even perv on one ("Wow, check out her legs. I wish I had legs like that."), but the whole "two hot chicks having sex" thing loses me, even when it's say, Cordelia and Faith, which is a pairing I'm actually kinda interested in writing, because the power dynamics.

And then there's Remy/Oz in N'Awlins, which no one else wants to write for me. Grrr... I may have to do it myself, though I don't much like Remy and I have no handle on Oz. Sigh.

Surely someone out there ::coughTeorScycough:: could do this for me?

So I'm at the stage where I get in a lot of things in my life - all talk, no action. Of course, I tend to get out of that with a big bang (see the whole moving into Manhattan thing).

And part of me thinks, would it be so bad to take a break from writing? Is it really *that* important that I keep churning out stories? Let's face it, I'm never going to be a first-tier writer, and quantity isn't going to get me there if it hadn't before. And certainly, dabbling in diverse fandoms where I'm completely unknown isn't going to help, either.

So I'm a little puzzled at myself, both at my current lack of desire and my need to keep myself in the public eye, as if I'll be forgotten if I don't post a story a week (which, given media fandom's resemblance to every other fandom, is a possibility. Fandom is very much "What have you done for me lately?" except for a very small handful of writers, the chosen few).

And I envy those of you who are working and writing away while I'm spinning my wheels. I'm gritting my teeth and seething in envy like water on hot oil in a frying pan.

What I really need is someone to kick my ass, and well, DD's not around right now.

Anyhow, I'm having more TTT thoughts, so I'll put them up in the LJ soon, to spoiler protect all 5 of you who haven't seen it yet.

*I fully cop to my Marti Noxon Issues.

~victoria



link


[current mood: rambling]
[current music: Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues]
[random quote: \"Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bliddy blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.\" Buffy]

~*~

12.26.02 - 3:27 p.m.

Boxing Day

I stayed home from work today because of the weather. We got between 6-8" of snow out here on Lawn Guyland, and I missed the 8:30 train and couldn't be bothered to wait around for the delayed by a half-hour 9:15 train, so I came back to the parents' and went back to bed.

Anthony and Anthony V. came over and shoveled so my dad didn't have to (or, more realistically, so my dad didn't have to force me to. *g*) and then we've all just been having a lazy day.

Christmas Eve was lovely. I got out of work at 11:15, took the very crowded 12:15 train to here, and then finished wrapping gifts before we headed out to church. We left at 4:15 for the 5pm Mass because it gets so crowded. Marguerite and Anthony and the kids joined us and we practically sat on top of each other in the pew - that's how crowded the church was.

They also have a Mass going on in the auditorium in the church basement, for those who can't fit in the church proper, but we didn't have to resort to that.

The priest's homily had three false endings before he *finally* stopped talking (16 minutes worth of homily, which is too long on Christmas Eve imo), and the little choir they have chose a few songs that nobody knows (and didn't sing Hark the Herald Angels, which is *my* favorite Christmas carol and which used to kick off Chiristmas Eve Mass at my old church, *and* their star soprano sounded more like Yoko Ono than anyone good), but I love the Christmas Eve readings - see below and in the LJ). I can hear my dad reading it, as he did for so many Christmases in the past, when he used to lector. He has the best reading voice. And I also love Luke's version of the Christmas story, which they don't read at the vigil (we get Matthew instead, and thank god they skipped the begats, because that's always a train wreck), though I always hear Linus Van Pelt's voice reading it.

Anyhow, then we came back here, all of us, and ate like gavonne. Penne ala vodka, chicken cutlet parmagiana, and for the others, baked clams and shrimp francese (catered, so no one had to cook).

Then we all exchanged gifts, and they got me a lovely chenille throw and three fancy pillows for my couch, as requested. The kids loved their gifts, though the dresses I bought for Alyssa are "too old" for her (which I kinda figured when I opened the box from Nordstrom, but who can tell on the internet?). Anthony (sr.) loved his box-set of Godzilla movies (as I knew he would) and Marguerite liked her cds (of course she did - she told me exactly what to buy and I bought them. John Mayer, Bon Jovi and... er... oh yeah, the Pearl Harbor soundtrack. I'm sometimes amazed we're sisters, on that last one.).

From Frank I got the most exquisite little Tiffany lamp, that will fit perfectly on my bedside table. I got him a book on the history of intoxication, which everyone seemed to find hilarious and strange, but he's interested in everything and he was gracious and interested in this, too. *g*

Then for the first time since I was a tiny baby, the parents' were up before me on Christmas morning.

I opened my gifts - I got the small mircowave I wanted, purple jersey sheets and a furry rug to match, the FotR special edition, and a dustbuster. I was happy.

Then we went to Dom and Helen's for round three of gift opening. Nicki was in a very bad mood, having gotten only about 4 hours of sleep, and so she did the whole, "I didn't want that. I don't like it" bit to some of the clothes I bought her, but since she was doing it to me, and I am notorious for having done that as a child (and, for my sins, even as an adult on occasion, though I've gotten much better at hiding my true feelings and saying thank you when I get a gift that makes me go "What the hell?"), everyone was like, "don't yell at her for it." But of course, they did. Otherwise, the kids liked their clothes and Victor liked the magic kit I got him, so I'm sure we'll all be subjected to card tricks sometime soon, much as we were when my brother was all into magic at a slightly older age. The adults liked their gifts as well - for Dom I got Mr. Roberts and Spider-Man on DVD and the Elvis #1s cd. I gave Helen that book by Bill Wyman, Rolling with the Stones, since she's a huge Stones fan.

From Dom and Helen I got a Christmas welcome mat and the Spider-Man and AotC dvds.

Then we ate a lovely breakfast that Domenick cooked. I had pancakes and bacon - and it was fried, not cooked in the microwave. Mmm... fattening...

After that, it was back home to rest for a while before heading to my sister's for dinner.

Once there, we had another round of gift-opening, with Mary Ellen and Sal, Michele and Paul, and Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Angela (to whom I send Starbucks every year, so I don't have to figure out what to get them). Mary and Sal got me the new Pearl Jam cd (woohoo!) and a book - The Woman on the Dunes by Kobo Abe. They liked the cds I got them - Foo Fighters, Nirvana, and a Ramones 2-cd collection. From Michele and Paul I got a lovely, minty pillar candle. They liked the sheets I got them (they moved into a new apartment at the end of the summer).

From Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Angela I got a bunch of stuff he made for me from oak = a cheese board (knife included) shaped like a whale, a hanging thingy to store paper plates in, two holiday trivets, a kitchen clock and a napkin holder. (He's a retired shop teacher. He does woodworking in his spare time and is very good at it).

After another round of the kids opening gifts from people they hadn't opened gifts from before, and my parents finally getting their gift from us kids (4 gifts certificates to various restaurants they like, plus a torchiere for the living room. Before we decided to go in together on a gift for them, I'd already bought my mother a charm with Nicole's and Patricia's names engraved on it, to go with the ones I'd gotten her a few years ago, with the older kids' names on them, and I'd started shopping for my dad, so I had The Quiet Man on dvd for him).

Then we sat down and ate again: Antipasto, with Santa Bread from Sheepshead Bay (a big deal out here, where all the bread routinely sucks. It's got to do with the water or something. Long Island water is awful. City water is sweet and wonderful to cook with.), tortellini bolognese (catered from the same place who did Christmas Eve) and then a spiral, honey-glazed ham.

After singing carols (my cousin Maria joined us this year, and she sings professionally, so the rest of us were sort of embarrassed to croak along, but the kids made up for that), we had dessert, which is the best part of this whole feast. Anthony baked up a storm, including a red velvet cake from scratch (with marzipan decorations made by my sister), preserves cookies, sandies, chocolates made by Alyssa, a cookie tray from Veniero's and some fancy chocolate cups which came from I know not where.

All in all, it was a very successful, and very fattening, Christmas.

I hope yours was the same.

~victoria



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[current mood: lazy]
[current music: MSNBC in the background]
[random quote: \"mmm... fattening....\" - Homer Simpson]

~*~

12.24.02 - 10:56 p.m.

"He is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace"

My favorite Christmas readings from the Old Testament:

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
and for Jerusalem's sake I will not be quiet,
until her vindication shines forth like the dawn,
and her salvation like a burning torch.
The nations shall see your vindication,
and all the kings your glory;
and you shall be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will give.
You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
and your land shall no more be termed Desolate;
but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
and your land Married;
for the LORD delights in you,
and your land shall be married.
For as a young man marries a young woman,
so shall your builder marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
so shall your God rejoice over you.

Upon your walls, O Jerusalem,
I have posted sentinels;
all day and all night
they shall never be silent.
You who remind the LORD,
take no rest,
and give him no rest
until he establishes Jerusalem
and makes it renowned throughout the earth.
The LORD has sworn by his right hand
and by his mighty arm:
I will not again give your grain
to be food for your enemies,
and foreigners shall not drink the wine
for which you have labored;
but those who garner it shall eat it
and praise the LORD,
and those who gather it shall drink it
in my holy courts.
Go through, go through the gates,
prepare the way for the people;
build up, build up the highway,
clear it of stones,
lift up an ensign over the peoples.
The LORD has proclaimed to the end of the earth:
Say to daughter Zion,
"See, your salvation comes;
his reward is with him,
and his recompense before him."
They shall be called, "The Holy People,
The Redeemed of the LORD";
and you shall be called, "Sought Out,
A City Not Forsaken."
Isaiah 62

and this:

The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who lived in a land of deep darkness--
on them light has shined.
You have multiplied the nation,
you have increased its joy;
they rejoice before you
as with joy at the harvest,
as people exult when dividing plunder.
For the yoke of their burden,
and the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor,
you have broken as on the day of Midian.
For all the boots of the tramping warriors
and all the garments rolled in blood
shall be burned as fuel for the fire.

For a child has been born for us,
a son given to us;
authority rests upon his shoulders;
and he is named
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
His authority shall grow continually,
and there shall be endless peace
for the throne of David and his kingdom.
He will establish and uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time onward and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.
Isaiah 9:2-7

Merry Christmas!

May a light shine in your darkness.

My favorite New Testament Christmas reading is up in the LJ.

~victoria



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[current mood: merry]
[current music: some Animal Planet show on teevee]
[random quote: Have yourself a merry little Christmas, may your heart be light]

~*~

12.24.02 - 10:56 a.m.

"Don't call me Hildi!" *snikt*

Merry Christmas, everybody!

You know it's Christmas Eve when the maintenance guy walks around singing "Winter Wonderland" and everybody on the escalator joins in.

I hope you all have a happy, safe and fulfilling holiday.

I also hope I get the hell out of work in the next 45 minutes so I can make my train. *g*

In the comments, Naomi wrote:
Who gets to tell Logan that his toes are _supposed_ to be that hairy?

Hee!

I'm thinking either Rogue (I am a LOgan/Rogue shipper) or possibly Scott, to get the needling in.

I really think he must be a Took -- there's no other accounting for his wildly un-hobbit-like aggression and adventuresomeness, plus you have Bullroarer's heritage to begin explaining the whole height thing.

You're right, and I can just imagine the look on his face when Pippin hugs him.

*eg*

Since he's a lot older than he looks, I suggest Hildifons Took, the Old Took's sixth child -- who "went off on a journey and never returned."

Ooh, I like that. Plus, "Hildifons"... too hilarious to see Scott calling him "Hildi" like Peter Scolari on Bosom Buddies.

There's something wrong with me, isn't there? I'm going to the Special Hell for this. I know it.

RaincityGirl wrote:
Gandalf is *so* affronted.

But of course! He's been around for 300 lifetimes of men, and Xavier acts like he's his ex-boyfriend? What's up with *that*?

And Jim reminds me that I ought to have known:
The bit about Gandalf's names was from TTT -- actually spoken by Faramir, so you really should have remembered that

Sigh.

The sad thing is I'd just reread that bit, which is why the quote was so fresh in my mind (not that I didn't search on the internet to find the exact wording so I wouldn't have to type it in myself, but...)...

Since the train ride to the 'rents is going to be long and local, I might try to write, depending on how crowded it is.

Gimli and Logan getting drunk. Aragorn and Scott and Alex each trying to sacrifice himself for the fate of the world.

Yeah, I think this could be fun.

I hope.

~victoria



link


[current mood: silly, christmassy]
[current music: Goin' Mobile - the Who]
[random quote: Don't care about pollution, I'm an air conditioned gypsy, that's my solution watch the police and the taxman miss]

~*~

12.23.02 - 11:43 p.m.

Let's get the flock outta here

The not-very-funny beginnings of the LotR/X-Men comedy extravaganza.

I'm thinking it'll have to be comics Wolvie, because even Ent Draught can't explain HJ's height, though I suppose that makes it funnier when they insist he's a Hobbit, and not *just* a hobbit, but a Bracegirdle. Or maybe a Proudfoot. I'm not sure yet. I suppose he could be ol' Fatty Bolger's young cousin Otto... Hmm...

Logan's real name is Otto Bolger... That makes me giggle.

Anyway, the beginning is very solemn and serious, as befits such a grand undertaking as this. The wackiness doesn't start until all parties meet up and realize things are very, very strange...

Working title: What Is and What Should Never Be (because if you're gonna do Tolkien, you might as well snag some Zeppelin to go with it)

Logan stared at the nimbus of white light that surrounded Magneto.

"Haven't we been here before?" he muttered. "Don't you have any new tricks?" he yelled. The old man just smiled at him.

The other X-Men fanned out, unsure of what, exactly Magneto was planning. The Machine whirred and spun around him, and he laughed in delight.

"That guy is nuttier than a fruitcake," Logan said to Cyclops, whose mouth quirked in a half-grin. "Can you hit it?"

Cyke nodded. "I'm taking the shot." He raised his hand to his visor and a beam of red cut through the white glow that surrounded them.

~Scott, no!~ Xavier's voice resounded through their heads. ~We don't know what he's doing!~

"Too late now," Logan answered with glee as the Machine exploded around them. "Ol' Magnethead is down for the count, Chuck."

Indeed, Magneto had slumped to the ground as the Machine crumpled from the force of Scott's optic blasts, but unlike the other occasion, on the top of the Statue of Liberty, the white light did not dissipate.

Instead, when it met the concussive beam Scott shot, it rippled, and the air around it vibrated visibly and hummed audibly.

The pressure in the air mounted to an almost unbearable level, and Xavier shouted, ~Get him out of there and then run. It's going to blow!~

The two men shared a quick glance, rushed into the heart of the white light as one, and grabbed Magneto.

Then they ran as fast as they could back to the X-Jet, where Jean, Storm, and Rogue awaited them.

"What did the shepherd say to the sheep?" Scott asked as they dumped their unconscious enemy into a seat and strapped him in. Logan raised an eyebrow. "Let's get the flock out of here."* Logan groaned and Scott laughed. He slid into the pilot's seat and said, "Storm, let's go!"

The jet rose into the air and sped off, just as the roiling white light behind them exploded with a boom so loud Logan moaned in pain.

"Thank God we got out of there," Jean said, "and nobody got hurt."

They flew back to Westchester, satisfied that they had once again saved the world from Magneto's menace.

***

Legolas looked up and saw a faint red line on the horizon.

A chill of foreboding slithered down his spine, making him shiver. The war with Sauron was over. Aragorn was king in Gondor, and all was well with Middle Earth.

Gimli joined him on the terrace. "What do those Elvish eyes see, Legolas?"

"A drear red light upon the horizon, my friend. I know not what it means, but it chills me to the bone."

Gimli laughed. "Ho, Legolas, you see evil where none now exists. All is well. The Dark Lord was defeated and--" he broke off as the red light moved close enough for him to see. "Hmm... This is indeed troublesome. Let us find Gandalf and Aragorn and take counsel."

{Lots of other stuff. Not written yet. This next bit comes when the X-Men call Gandalf Magneto (even though Magneto is locked up in their basement)}

"Many are my names in many countries. Mithrandir among the Elves, Tharkun to the Dwarves, Olorin I was in my youth in the west that is forgotten, in the south Incanus, in the north Gandalf; to the east I go not.**" The wizard's eyes narrowed angrily. "But never have I been called by the uncouth name 'Magneto.'"

***

That's all I've got so far. Well, that and a very unfunny beginning to the next installment of Han/Logan. Sigh.

I don't know where my wacky went, but I'd like to get it back.

Meanwhile, I saw TTT again this afternoon, and more thoughts are up in the LJ.

*Bad joke stolen from Lethal Weapon
**Actual dialogue from LotR, spoken by Gandalf. Not sure which book atm.

~victoria



link


[current mood: silly]
[current music: Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel]
[random quote: Today I don't need a replacement I told them what the smile on my face meant My heart going boom boom boom]

~*~

12.23.02 - 10:20 a.m.

RIP Joe Strummer

Joe Strummer is dead.

Sigh.

How depressing.

~victoria



link


[current mood: saddened]
[current music: The Rising - bruce]
[random quote: Don't you know it is wrong? To cheat the trying man So you better stop, it is the wrong 'em boyo - The Clash]

~*~

12.22.02 - 10:38 p.m.

busy weekend

Wow, this weekend was busy.

Yesterday, Dom and Helen and the kids came over. They liked the apartment (of course they did), and were very impressed with how much heat I have, even when it's not really necessary.

Then we went to dinner, and my brother's best friend and his wife joined us to exchange gifts (though they didn't eat; they came in while we were eating and sat at the table. They were going to a party afterward. They live about 9 blocks away from me).

Then we regrouped (that was the word of the evening - my brother kept saying, "We need to regroup") and discuss how we were going to Rockefeller Center. Since I was with them, they couldn't use the car (no room for me with the two carseats for Nicki and Tricia), so we took the bus and the subway, which the kids loved, of course, and Helen got all, "Don't touch anything! And don't put your hands on your face!"

I got turned around, and they made fun of me for not knowing how to get to Rockefeller Center (sigh. I'm never going to hear the end of that), and then we did and got really close to the tree, 'cause we came at it from the back.

THe kids were really good, and the night was decent - not too cold, only a little windy - so we walked by Saks and looked at the window display (the Russian version of Sleeping Beauty), and went into St. Patrick's to light candles.

Then we came back here and ordered dessert and coffee. The kids didn't want to leave, even though at that point it was 10pm, but they finally got them all ready and out the door.

It was a very successful visit.

Even if I did get stuck with a bottle of orange juice and a container of milk I'll probably never drink.

Then today, Jean and I went to see Diana and Fernando's babies. They're so little and sweet. They're two weeks old today, and don't have that just-born look anymore.

They've also got distinct personalities already. Well, Anne does - Mark slept the whole time.

So yeah, very busy, child-filled weekend. I came home to my quiet apartment and crashed.

This is one of the times that proves to me that I could not be a single parent, because I don't have the strength or the patience. Hell, I don't know if I'll ever have kids at all. But I have the utmost respect for people who do it alone, because it ain't easy, and anyone who thinks it is ought to be shot.

Work this week will be much less hectic than this weekend was. And with only one of my guys in tomorrow and Tuesday, it should be very laidback.

Looking forward to that.

~victoria



link


[current mood: tired]
[current music: Come Away With Me - Norah Jones]
[random quote: \"Hey, when was the last time this thing was defrosted? You poor, poor ice cubes. Daddy's here...\" ~Bobby Drake]

~*~

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The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.

The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.

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