a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

03.08.03 - 4:30 p.m. the sound of ash on horsehide Mmm... baseball on television on a sunny March Saturday... Can't beat that. Plus, the Mets kicked ass. Mo Vaughn has lost weight and opened up his stance... it's really funny because I don't even need to have the sound on anymore. I can anticipate everything Fran Healy and the other guy are going to say. They had side-by-side shots of Vaughn swinging, one from last season and one from today, and I'm like, "Hey, he's lost weight. And opened up his stance." and then three seconds later, Fran Healy says, "In addition to losing some weight in the offseaon, Vaughn has opened up his stance blah blah blah home-run hitter." It's like how I know whether or not I'm going to sit through a movie or a new television show, or how much I'm going to like a song - if I can spout the next line (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), then I know there's not really anything new going on there, and I change the channel. Because when you're watching a thriller or a comedy, the last thing you want is to be able to predict what's going to happen next. Romances are different - I tend to like my romance formulaic, but *smart*. I want "It Happened One Night" (and the loose remake, "The Sure Thing") or "The Truth About Cats and Dogs", not... "You've Got Mail" or "Someone Like You." Boring retreads of much better movies. Speaking of movies, I tried to watch "A Knight's Tale" this afternoon and just... couldn't. I don't know if it was too much of Paul Bettany's bare ass, the complete lack of expression on the part of the female lead (and why not make the female blacksmith more important? A movie about her would have kicked ass) or just the general lameness of the whole enterprise, but... I had to turn it off. Not even Alan Tudyk or the pretty pretty of Heath Ledger could keep me interested. But, baseball, and March and sunshiny Saturday... You know what that means, right? No socks. I am free from the tyranny of socks. Soon I'll be able to pull all my slides out of hibernation, just as soon as the threat of snow has passed (stupid snow). I can't wait. Oh! And have I mentioned that this diary turns up as the top two results for "Legolas/Eowyn fanfiction"? Hee! Yay for improbable blondes having improbable fruity elf sex! ~victoria link [current mood: content] [current music: Stay (I Missed You) - Lisa Loeb] [random quote: And I thought what I felt was simple, and I thought that I don't belong, but now that I am leaving, now I know that I did s] ~*~ 03.07.03 - 1:20 p.m. Cordevilia, Shelob... it's all the same... loligo compared pregnant, evil Cordelia to Shelob. Then this happened. I blame her. *** Gestation It’s growing. She can feel It. Sometimes, she feels nothing but It. It consumes her awareness when she’s awake and fills her nightmares when she sleeps. All her energy focuses inward, on the Thing that lives inside. She vaguely remembers the last time this happened, and that same sense of fear and betrayal screams along her nerves in the rare moments It rests, leaving her to herself again. That happens less and less as the days pass; she lives in terror of the day it stops happening altogether. She moves sluggishly, speaks softly, but her eyes see everything. When her mind isn’t fixated on It, she is planning, strategizing, preparing for the next step. Gunn and Fred are non-entities; when the time comes, she will swat them like gnats, absently and without malice. She keeps Connor tied to her with lies and his own teenage lust, and his innocence in the ways of the world. Angelus will serve her, though she knows better than to trust him. He is a tricky one, but she’s been around since before the first vampire rose -- she knows they always fall prey to the same hunger in the end, and cannot follow-through on long-term plans. She will enjoy destroying him when the time comes; he thinks he’s a worthy adversary for her, but he knows *nothing* of who she is, and will pay for his temerity. She underestimated Wesley; she thought he’d be out of commission after Lilah’s death, too wrapped up in his own grief and shame to think. She didn’t anticipate Faith, but what is a mere Slayer -- and one who could so easily be led off-track by rage and fear -- in the face of what’s coming? And what’s coming demands her attention again, angry that her thoughts have strayed from It even for a few moments. Its anger fills her with bile and the hot metallic taste of blood. Her body hums with a power she’s never felt before. Her skin is too tight; she feels like a plump, ripe grape ready to burst before it even leaves the vine. Absently she strokes her burgeoning belly, crooning a wordless song to calm It, seeking the means to assuage Its ever-growing hunger. And locked in a dark corner of her own mind, Cordelia screams in voiceless horror. /end ~*~ It was supposed to be a drabble, but while I'm a woman of few words, ::snerk:: 100 was *too* few this time. I suppose if I added about 20 words somewhere, I could call it a quadruple drabble. Heh. Comments, suggestions, brilliant perceptions are all welcome. Lunch now, I think, and then packing again. ~victoria link [current mood: bemused] [current music: Over the Hills and Far Away - Zeppelin] [random quote: many times I've lied and many times I've listened and many times I've wondered how much there is to know] ~*~ 03.07.03 - 10:30 a.m. second bananas Still packing and moving and throwing stuff out. Two of my guys are out today and MW and LR never bother me much, so I should be able to pack and schlep in peace. I asked Chatty Coworker about the pantry and she said *of course* she'd help pack it, she's been packing for days! Uh huh. Luckily, after packing my apt., I've gotten pretty good at it, and most of the stuff I'm packing is square and already in boxes (file folders, reams of paper, letterhead, etc.), so it's just a matter of getting it off the shelves and into the boxes. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with the binding machine and the typewriter, though. In other news, this month's Movieline (and I hadn't gotten an issue since I moved until this one. Fuckers.) has a great piece by Joe Queenan. Most of Joe Queenan's articles are great, but this one has some extra-hilarious and yet very true bits in it. It's about second bananas stealing the show in movies. He starts off with a list of movies in which Annabeth Gish has been upstaged and then says, I'm not saying all this is a reflection on Ms. Gish's acting ability or screen presence. But it does make you wonder why the produces of "The X-Files" thought she was the right person to salvage *that* sinking ship. Then he talks about Catherine Zeta-Jones stealing Zorro, Jude Law stealing The Talented Mr. Ripley and (one I whole-heartedly agree with) Val Kilmer running off with Tombstone. Not to mention Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive. More quotage: [...] there are basic three kinds of second bananas: those who make a good film better, those who make an otherwise bad or mediocre film at the very least watchable, and those who actually wrestle the film away from the star. Then he goes on to give examples (not even touching television, where this has happened on many shows, maybe most famously, "Happy Days", where Fonzie became more popular than Richie, and one-shot characters wind up sticking around forever), including this about Girl, Interrupted: When veteran gamine Winona Ryder, who served as executive producer--whatever *that* means--of Girl, Interrupted, she hoped the film would finally cajole the public into taking her seriously. Instead, the pouty Angelina Jolie wins the Oscar. No wonder Winona turned to crime. ::snicker:: And this about Silverado, which leads to my favorite bit and the reason I'm typing this all up now: The only thing Silverado did have going for it was the young, studly Kevin Costner [...]. A star was born. But then the star turned into the solemn, predictable, self-absorbed Kevin Costner. Before you knew it, Costner was getting upstaged by his second bananas. Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (though Rickman is not so much a second banana as an entire plantation of bananas--all of them overripe) [...]. Hee! I just love that. Oh well, back into the mines. ~victoria link [current mood: busy] [current music: Take a Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed] [random quote: she said hey honey, take a walk on the wild side...] ~*~ 03.07.03 - 12:37 a.m. MF update - East of Eden East of Eden, the Xander ficlet, is finished and up on the site. No spoilers, just speculation about the series finale. ~victoria link [current mood: drowsy] [current music: Cell Block Tango] [random quote: he ran into my knife. he ran into my knife ten times.] ~*~ 03.06.03 - 12:12 p.m. Favorite Buffy Moments, Season 2 Good lord, the snow is coming down. Yesterday it was a balmy 50 degrees, and today it's snowing to beat the devil. March sucks. So Becky and I met at Midtown Comics, and of course, I spent money. Sigh. I bought The Sandman Companion and The Eyre Affair, both of which had been on my want-list for a while. I did start Smoke and Mirrors last weekend, but haven't been reading much this week at all, other than EW and Movieline. So, high on the Faith love from last night's Angel, I give you more favorite BtVS moments. The S2 edition: the whole of WSWB, but especially, the "Spank your inner moppet" speech and "If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you" Xander saving Cordelia from fire in SAR "Love makes you do the wacky" "Why couldn't she have been Xena?" "I'm from the country of Leone, which is Italy pretending to be Montana" "I'm taking a lot on faith here, lady." and "You take the princess. Catwoman, you're with me." and "Okay, on sleazing extra candy, tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double bagger. You can also try the old 'You missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate." "I am the $2 costume king!" Basically, all of "Halloween" I'm sure there's something redeeming in Reptile Boy, but I can't recall what it is. Giles' speech to Buffy at the end of LtM "Ours is a forbidden love" the whole mocking of the vampire wannabes in LtM Xander showing Ampata how to eat a Twinkie. "Who's that girl?" Dingoes on stage! Devon. LARRY! Jonathan. JENNY! Snyder. (I miss the whole recurring characters thing, where you got the sense that Buffy lived in the world, and interacted with people on a daily basis) Kendra Xander saving Jonathan and Willow from Ampata COrdelia and Xander's first kiss "He's not a bug-man, he's a man made of bugs." Spike'n'Dru! "Who do you kill for fun around here?" Spike smoking the Annoying One "I don't mean to brag... Oh who'm I kidding? I *love* to brag!" Sigh. I miss that Spike. Joyce with the axe! "You were staring at my neck. I told you to eat before we came." The Old Married Xander/Angel vibe. "People still fall for that old Anne Rice routine?" "We're demons, man! Demons don't change. You were my sire, my Yoda!" (Yes, it was retconned away, grrr... but still, great lines) the entirety of BBB all of "Passion" "You'd rather be with someone you hate, then be with me." ::sniffle:: "Vampires and demons are real." "Actually, that explains a lot." Xander coming up with the plan to take out the Judge. "Arm!" "What's that do?" Hee! Dru carrying Spike out of the ruined church. "Two slayers, no waiting." "I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth." and "I'm naming all the stars." and "My ripe, wicked plum, my black goddess." *meep* The magical appearance of the Black Leather Pants of Evil at the end of Surprise. Angelus blowing out the dead girl's smoke. Giles' quiet acceptance of Buffy's mistake. "I'm just going to let it burn." Xander staking Teresa in "Phases" Tweed. It's better than Kevlar. the Xander-Angelus confrontation in KBD Xander in a Speedo ("I'm undercover." "You're not under much.") Cordelia's' speech to the fish monster she thought was Xander Willow interrogating Jonathan Willow: So, we're looking for a beastie. Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole... except for the skin. Buffy: This doesn't make any sense. Xander: Yeah. The skin's the best part. Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? [off Giles's look] You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh. Joyce and Spike in the living room. RIPPER! "To kill this Slayer, you have to love her." The whole twisted Angelus/Dru/Spike dynamic, but especially Angel's Valentine's gift to Dru the fight over re-souling Angel The Lie Xander confessing his love to Willow, and Willow waking up with Oz's name on her lips. Buffy's slo-motion run through the hallway Whistler "Ooh, it's a rock. None of my other friends have a rock this big." "Someone isn't worthy." "I don't want to spend a week cleaning librarian out of the carpet" Spike's speech on liking the world, and Buffy's response to his offer of a deal "Hello to the imagery" "Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here." "It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want." "Then why would you see me?" "What's left?" "Me." the whole scene. You know the scene. "Close your eyes." All the way through to the end, with "Full of Grace" and Buffy on the bus. ::sniff:: Well, I could have done more, but... I think that's pretty good. I have to go now and pack boxes. Grrr... ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: Hey Jude - Beatles] [random quote: take a sad song and make it better] ~*~ 03.05.03 - 11:41 a.m. East of Eden, Xander-style I had this image, three words from a long ago visit to Challenge in a Can, and a copy of Paradise Lost. Now I have this, and I'm not sure it adds up to anything at all... Leaving Home So send them forth, though sorrowing, yet in peace ~ Paradise Lost, John Milton *** In the cool pre-dawn dim, Xander pulls up in front of the house and parks the car. He gives the horn two quick taps and pops the trunk before getting out. She stands on the porch, surrounded by luggage -- handbags, duffels, a knapsack over one shoulder. As he mounts the steps, he thinks of all the time they’ve spent in this house -- and all the time he’s spent repairing it recently. That will no longer be necessary. Giles’ sacrifice has seen to that. Giles’ and Buffy’s and even Spike’s. All gone, lost in the final battle with the First. And Xander knows that while it may have been their last battle together as Buffy’s slayerettes, the First is not gone. The Hellmouth is sealed, but evil still walks in the world, and always will. He’s come to accept that it’s not always something outside of them that causes the evil, that people can do just as much damage to each other as hordes of marauding demons that look like extras from _Lord of the Rings_. And wherever there are people, the First will flourish, no vamps or demons necessary. He puts that thought out of his mind for the moment. He’s got more pressing matters to worry about, like fitting all her stuff in the trunk. He’s only got one bag, himself, twenty-two years of living stripped down to one suitcase; his baggage is all on the inside, and he’ll carry it with him the rest of his life. He helps Dawn carry the bags to the car. They don’t speak. They don’t need to. The house already looks lonely, with its windows boarded up and its lawn unkempt. He laughs softly and she looks over at him. “In any other town, that’d be an eyesore,” he offers. In Sunnydale, it’s a monument to the Slayer and all she’s done to save the world. Thanks to Giles’ generosity, the house is paid off, the deed in Dawn’s name. They’ll never have to worry about a home again, even though they’re leaving it now and don’t know when -- or if -- they'll return. None of the potential Slayers -- none of the ones who survived, anyway -- were called upon Buffy’s death. It’s Faith’s successor they’re after now – roadtripping to save the world, or at least the Slayer line. In the end, saving the Slayer *is* saving the world, and Xander’s done the former enough to know. He remembers the last time he left Sunnydale with such purpose. He slipped a copy of On the Road into the glove compartment this morning, but he’s lost his taste for the Beats. Much to his own surprise, his reading material lately -- when he’s not in research mode -- is comprised mostly of Robert Frost and John Donne. And lying on top of the Kerouac, dogeared and filled with scribbled notes, is Willow’s copy of Paradise Lost. It seems fitting. All he wants now is all he’s ever wanted, a home, a place to belong. He figures he and Dawn will have to make one for themselves, in a blue Honda Accord that’s currently loaded down with the accumulated detritus of two lives and an air of grief that would choke people less accustomed to the cloying miasma of sorrow that threatens to stifle them both. They stand silent, staring at the house for a stretch of time that feels like forever, but Xander knows it’s only been seconds. “Let’s go,” he says at last. They get in the car and drive, heading east as the sun rises in front of them. *** Som natural tears they drop'd, but wip'd them soon; The World was all before them, where to choose Thir place of rest, and Providence thir guide: They hand in hand with wandring steps and slow, Through EDEN took thir solitarie way. ~ Paradise Lost, John Milton ~*~ Comments, suggestions, brilliant perceptions are, as always, welcome. ~victoria link [current mood: contemplative] [current music: where the streets have no name - u2] [random quote: Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast Brought Death into the World, and all our wo] ~*~ 03.04.03 - 9:47 p.m. fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck. I just wrote a whole entry, a whole fucking paean to the CVS on my corner, and diaryland ate it. Fuckers. Technology sucks big hairy camel balls. The whimsical mood is lost now. Grrr... I hate Tuesdays. Though I did watch Gilmore Girls tonight, the one with Sheri's shower, and it was weird to actually watch an episode I'd only read the transcript of. I kept having deja vu, except I knew I hadn't seen the ep, but I also knew everything that was going to happen. Strange. Not sure I liked the feeling. I heart Luke as much as always, though. Mmm... Luke... And I'm copying and pasting this entry to Word, so if d'land fucks up and eats it again, I will have it and won't have to come up with a *third* thing to say. Gah. ~victoria link [current mood: grrr] [current music: Leash - Pearl Jam] [random quote: drop the leash, drop the leash, get out of my fucking face] ~*~ 03.04.03 - 11:34 a.m. Buffy Moments, season 1 Hey look! A non-LotR-related post! Do you watch more TV or movies? TV What is your favourite television show? Of all time? Or currently? Of all time, it’s probably a toss up between Homicide and Buffy, with MASH, Cheers, China Beach, Wiseguy, Northern Exposure and The Simpsons also in the running. Currently, I love Gilmore Girls and West Wing most. Funniest show on television? I don’t watch much first run comedy. I will say that every time I’ve watched it, Malcolm in the Middle leaves me in stitches, and I have a fondness for Everybody Loves Raymond. The parents are *hilarious*. Favourite writer on TV? Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon. Maybe JJ Abrams on a good Alias day. Amy Sherman-Palladino when she’s on. Who is your favourite television actress? Allison Janney. I also have a fondness for Debra Messing and Megan Mullaly [sp?], though I rarely watch Will & Grace. Who is your favourite television actor? Gah. So many. Anthony Stewart Head. Bradley Whitford. Richard Schiff. John Glover. Michael Rosenbaum. Victor Garber. Who are the most overrated actors on TV? Huh. Lara Flynn Boyle and the other skinny chick on the Practice. Dennis Frantz, who has long since slid into self-parody. What's the worst show on television? Any reality show, I would guess. I don’t watch them. Hot or Not strikes me as the worst, followed closely by Fear Factor. What is your TV schedule? Sunday: The Simpsons (though not regularly anymore), Alias or Sopranos, Nero Wolfe when it was on. Monday: Nothing; occasionally, Everybody Loves Raymond Tuesday Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Smallville Everyone tells me I’ll love 24, so maybe I’ll try to catch up during rerun hell Wednesday West Wing, Angel Thursday, Friday, Saturday Nothing in particular. I try to catch CSI, but I always forget it's on. I gave up on L&O:SVU midway through the second season. Too much what's-her-name, not enough Munch. Speaking of television, I know people are listing their favorite or most memorable Buffy moments, as this is the last season. Here are some of mine: "Yesterday my life was uh-oh, pop quiz. Today it's rain of toads." "The dead rose. We should at least have an assembly." "We could do this the hard way or... no, there's just the hard way." "I can't believe you of all people are trying to Scully me." "It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him." Pack Xander leading his er, pack in slow motion. Willow telling Cordelia that "delete" is "deliver". Owen. Xander in boxers in "Nightmares" the Oedipus scene over the credits of "Puppet Show" Angel staking Darla The "I quit" speech in PG The dress gag in PG "Country music. The music of pain." Buffy slugging Giles and going after the Master. Buffy's confrontation with the Master. "If you hadn't come, I couldn't go." "At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right." "You're in love with her." "Aren't you?" "I feel different. Stronger." "I flunked the written." and "You have fruitpunch mouth." Gah, that's just the first season. I see this will have to be split over a few entries. Don't worry. Once we get past S4, the great moments are few and far between. No, I'm not a huge fan of S4-6, though in retrospect, S4 had a lot more stand-out moments than I expected. S7 has been somewhat more entertaining, but it doesn't measure up to the glory days of S1-3. ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: Free Fallin' - Tom Petty] [random quote: “God, you really were the little youthful offender, weren't you? You must just look back on that and cringe.“ Cordelia] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. 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