a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

07.22.03 - 10:29 p.m. They're not booing. They're yelling "Bruce!" So, we went to the concert and survived the weather, the traffic and each other. my account of the concert is here. And I've got what I hope will be an ongoing discussion of the characterization of Sirius Black, because you know I'm still obsessing, and discussion of Sirius naturally leads to discussion of Remus, of which there can never be enough, in my not-so-humble opinion. The sad part about being obsessed? As I'm reading through some Bruce lyrics, I start relating them to Sirius, Remus and Sirius/Remus (or Remus/Sirius. I'm not big on which name goes first meaning anything. I don't see a reason. It's interchangeable for me. I just type Sirius/Remus mostly for some reason. I don't know why.) (Trapped is obvious, but also No Surrender and Bobby Jean work - and I really need to stop doing that). But this lyric, from "Something in the Night" (which he didn't play last night), fits Sirius (and so many other characters) to a T: Nothing is forgotten or forgiven, when it's your last time around I got thoughts running round my head that I just can't live down. ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: Trapped - in my head] [random quote: But I'll teach my eyes to see beyond these walls in front of me And someday I'll walk out of here again] ~*~ 07.21.03 - 3:08 p.m. monday afternoon ramble Ah. I bitch about my period, and the next day it shows up. If I didn't know better, I'd believe it was a sentient being, a parasite, lying in wait for me every month, springing at the worst possible moment (except this isn't the worst possible - next week would have been. There's nothing worse than having your period on vacation, even with tampax etc. Because it's jsut so hot and uncomfortable and you're not in your own bed and you're horrible to be around... So today is a much better thing than next week, though *last* week would have been preferable. I'm just saying. In fannish things, I have a bit of a long ramble on Sirius/Remus and their relationship, Sirius's characterization and The Prank over in the LJ. Minor spoilers for OotP, but nothing earth-shattering. Still working on Getting Weiss Laid for Celli's birthday which is, egads! tomorrow. Well, at least they're talking. The shagging should commence shortly. The other thing I want to pimp out to *everyone* - writers and readers alike - is Zarah's Critically Constructive Feedback Project, in which people sign up to have their stories reviewed, and both readers and writers will be assigned a story to review (you list your fandoms, so it's all about matching people with stuff they're familiar with, etc.). I think it's a *fabulous* idea (I seem to be using the word *fabulous* a lot lately, which is just... grating.), because 1. it's multi-fandom, 2. readers are participating, and 3. it's public, so people can see that while criticism may give little twinges when you first get it (believe me, I feel them), it's not the horrid trauma some people make it out to be, even in public. And last, but most importantly, Bruce tonight! Whee! Me, Dom and Marg, in close proximity for almost 8 hours. This is going to be a riot. And that may turn out to be literal. *snerk* Ah well, I have actual work to do here, plus email to answer and editing to do. I'm taking tomorrow off, and I'm so excited about it, I can't even tell you. ~victoria link [current mood: crampy and irritable; also, excited. and tired.] [current music: Running on Empty -Jackson Brown] [random quote: I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. ~Jane Austen] ~*~ 07.20.03 - 1:14 p.m. T to the M to the I Still incredibly lethargic. Even almost 10 hours of sleep hasn't made me feel better. I want to blame PMS, or extra-long-lasting and will make you want to kill yourself and others PMS, which is what I'm having now, I think, as I am over a week late. I blame Chatty Coworker. She's gone, and the only other woman on my side of the floor is pregnant. My hormones are all in a tizzy. I'm definitely a follower, tuning my cycle to those around me. And this is probably TMI, but no one's reading this anymore unless I point them here, so who cares? Whee! Freedom! More family stuff today. Which will be fun, I know. But just... I'm taking Tuesday off and am so very glad of it. Just me, alone, in my apartment. I can't wait. ~victoria link [current mood: exhausted] [current music: golf on tv] [random quote: \"God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of.\" ~Bruce Springsteen] ~*~ 07.18.03 - 5:39 p.m. I've been a productive!vic today the Unfit For Society Recs LJ is full of new recs for youse. (This is the direct link.) 29 stories in 6 fandoms (well, 5 fandoms and one crossover). OotP spoilery fic. Anti-wingfic. HP, GO, GG/SV and XMM. Heh. Alphabet soup. What? I amuse myself. I also just got out of an onerous family obligation, which means I've only got *two* this weekend. Whee! In other website news, the site redesign proceeds apace. I believe over half the stories are coded, and there are some new indices (for each fandom, really: HP, BtVS/Ats, LotR, and Smallville in addition to XMM), so bear with me. Now that the site's all half-n-half, I *have* to finish it, because it's horrible to be stuck in the between stages of a change like that, right? Yeah, that's what I'm telling myself. Plus, The Fall Is What Kills You and Knowing Luna are both up there now, and How Bitter a Thing is posted in the LJ. I've been a productive vic, while actually doing work-related work, too. Woo! Go me! Go me home, now. *snerk* ~victoria link [current mood: productive] [current music: where the streets have no name - u2] [random quote: still building and burning them down, burning them down] ~*~ 07.17.03 - 11:59 a.m. Man, I do love me some angsty high school love triangles. Quadrangles. Whatever. Sigh. The problem with hand writing stuff and then waiting days to type it up is that you can rarely make the same leaps of logic you made while in the process of writing. I have this conversation between Sirius and Remus, in the aftermath of a bit of a drunken clinch, and it jumps from one point to another, and god help me, I can't figure out what I was thinking. I'm not sure how Sirius made the jump from one thought to another, and though I like both thoughts, I can't quite see how to bridge them. I suppose drunkenness is an excuse - when I'm drunk, I'm incredibly scattershot, even more so than usual, making odd connections and leaping from one topic to another midstream. But this is an important conversation. ::thinks:: Every conversation in a story is an important conversation. But this one comes at the beginning (I think. I'm still working out the order in which the story is to be told. Right now, it's the beginning, and there may be an extended flashback, but I'm not quite sure) and should 1. establish Sirius's thoughts on his feelings about Remus, 2. plant the idea in the reader's mind that Sirius may not have a clue what the fuck he's talking about - that what he says and what he means are two different things. Or, what he thinks he means and what he *actually* means are two different things. Hmm... I'm not even explaining it right. I think you can see why the boys are confused. *snerk* Plus, there's the whole James/Lily issue to wrestle with. Was their first date good? Bad? Did James screw up and have to beg for a second chance? What did he do that finally convinced Lily to give him a shot? And how would he feel if he found out she'd hooked up with Remus in sixth year after the Shack incident, when Remus was being all avoidance boy? Man, I do love me some angsty high school love triangles. Quadrangles. Whatever. I just wish young!Sirius weren't quite so opaque. Remus is much easier to get a handle on. Mmm... getting my hands on Remus... Ahem. I'll just go now. ~victoria link [current mood: amused] [current music: One Way or Another - Blondie] [random quote: You were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'Let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this jun] ~*~ 07.16.03 - 11:27 a.m. Birthday Booty! I woke up this morning and said, "Don't be mocking tar beach!" No, I don't know why either. The weather is truly disgusting. It's about 80 degrees with like 96% humidity. Ugh. My hair is one big ball of frizz and my sinuses are killing me. Went to see Pirates of the Caribbean last night with Leslie, and then to dinner. Can I just say, without spoiling anything (spoilery thoughts will be up sometime later, over in the LJ), that this has to be the *gayest* movie ever. I cannot believe *Disney* made this movie. Seriously. This movie practically slashes itself. I currently don't feel a lot of need to read fic, though there's already some out there, by writers I love. And I can easily see Jack/Will/Elizabeth as a new OT3. But I still can't get over how very very gay the whole thing was. And I mean that in the good, swishy, FABulous way. And speaking of pirates, I didn't mention the booty, loot and plunder I've amassed for the birthday: in addition to the cds from Pete'n'Melissa and the book from Jenn, I got the Audrey Hepburn boxset set from Dom and Helen and the kids - it's got Breakfast at Tiffany's, Roman Holiday and Sabrina. On dvd, of course. *Squee* And I got two Amazon gift certificates to spend on whatever my greedy little heart desires. I'm wondering if I really want the BtVS season 4 dvds... I mean, yes... but, no. Or maybe I'll wait until the next HLotS set is released? I'm going to try not to buy any books, because... yes. 4 bins unread, blah blah blah bookcakes. Plus, I'm told there are a couple of other presents winging my way. And that's not even including the fic I got: Dee brings me Jesses, a beautiful Hama/Eowyn story and Fina continues a fine tradition of hurtful and beautiful Rohirrimcest with The Knife of Me. Glossolalia wrote me a fabulous Remus/Xander drabble. I may have a new OTP. woobie-wounded-survivor boys. Because Xander/Remus? There is no bad here. Celli, Voleuse and a few others have mentioned having some fic inthe works, and I know Bethy is working tirelessly on the werepoodles. Alax made me a sexy Eowyn birthday card. And Amezri made me a Sexy!Xander card! Sexy Xander! *swoon* And Khaki made me icons! We loves iconses, precious. Look at my pretties: === *hugs everyone* Thank you all so much! So it's been a good birthday. Now I think I'm supposed to actually be doing work. Meh. Can't lose this job. Must remember that. *smoochies* ~victoria link [current mood: happy] [current music: Take the Long Way Home - Supertramp] [random quote: \"You are so full of hate and loathing. Can I just tell you, I love it.\" Lorelai Gilmore] ~*~ 07.15.03 - 2:59 p.m. Loony Luna So it's my birthday, and I feel all loved. Life is good. *g* I also, for some reason felt moved to write a Luna Lovegood drabble. It's not spoilery for OotP, except in the whole fact that you know, Luna is a character we've never met before. No plot points are given away. It's just a wee character moment, post-OotP, Luna->Ron. Chrysalis If it happens at Hogwarts, Luna Lovegood knows about it. She blends into the background and they forget she’s there, let their hair down and let loose. She doesn’t need an Invisibility Cloak to disappear. It’s been her way since her mother died; she’s convinced if no one else notices her, no one else will leave her. Then Ron Weasley came barreling into her life, and for the first time she wishes that she was all the things she’ll never be -- pretty, popular, visible. Oh, he sees her, even talks to her and doesn’t tease her like the other kids do. He doesn’t notice her, though -- all his attention is focused on Hermione and Harry. And she suddenly wants to be noticed. But Luna hears and sees and knows things that other people don’t, and she’s a Ravenclaw to the bone. She knows how to use her knowledge to get what she wants, and she’s finally found something -- someone -- worth the effort. Her father is surprised at the way her habitual vagueness falls away like a cloak she’s finally outgrown, a chrysalis that harbored the bright butterfly she’s about to become. Everyone thinks they know Luna Lovegood. They’re about to learn they don’t know anything at all. end *** And, because it amuses me: An interpretation of the Unfit Recs LJ: Lovely of friendship are No past and Sirius secret in Sunnydale for Saving the occasional goat, depending it's not as Liz Barr Snape, and I love will Nestra's Luke: she was kissing her to live be more Luke Will kiss Lorelai is snarky and how to Be fix what's right inside His head set of how a: hot: in love this past and I am a dance. Sandman the monks only way Rain has a scar above his head. So I so much very real spot on the world. Delicate story, in character; Sunnydale for their story. Love the Gloves and totally Chloe out like a New nom de Saint Exupery, the knowledge that'd be more permanent, archive, type link, that why are some recs would love the World she gets the monks spell had a heartbroken Clark, maneuvers through buying books And how the scary? From here. I think my favorite bit is "Liz Barr Snape." *g* I think she'd approve of that string of words. And another one for frail & bedazzled: Best she didn't want this movie and Rearview Mirror, they fade played a fic! As old as a week til the indices. And beautiful Hama it's that to everything, I need your love, and clear and clear and Now that unshared interests all at the essence of the meta tags and a second and keyboards guys are they opened with all their own use the restaurant. Am blame this my boys are self inflicted, I just could go to discuss our different approaches to Pearl Jam. You said something overrated, and then the audience. I don't know why this amuses me so much, but it does. And did I pimp my latest S/R fic here? It's still in draft, and it's already been edited a couple times since I posted it, but if you feel the need for some angsty puppy loving, How Bitter a Thing (working title, anyway). Comments on any and everything welcome, here or in the LJ. *smooches* ~victoria link [current mood: good] [current music: Brain Damage/Eclipse - Pink Floyd] [random quote: and if the band you're in starts playing different tunes I'll see you on the dark side of the moon] ~*~ 07.14.03 - 10:04 a.m. I Capture the Castle I Capture the Castle came out on Friday. As you may or may not know, I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith is one of my favorite books. It's purportedly a YA novel, but I don't think it ought to be marginalized like that. It's a gorgeous coming-of-age story, as well as a comedy of manners and a gloss on sisterly love (think Austen) - you don't ever want this book to end. The writing is so sharp and clear and evocative - you *know* Cassandra (hell, in some ways, I *am* Cassandra) and you don't want to leave her, because she sinks right into your soul. Anyhow, here's a Salon review of the book, the Daily News review of the movie, and Salon review of the movie. (I'm not sure I see Marc Blucas as Neil, so that should be interesting.) I may have to go see this movie tomorrow night, as my birthday celebration. Or I could go see PotC and revel in the fierce gay pirates. We'll see. *g* Meanwhile, I'm conducting a little ... experiment? poll? I'm not sure what you'd call it. I'm just trying to find out how many people actually stop by and read the LJ, and since most of the reading is likely done via friends pages or links to individual entries, site meter isn't reliable, and LJ has no stats feature. So if you read my LJ (even occasionally or on a skimming basis), please drop me a comment on this entry. You can comment even if you don't have an LJ. I don't screen anonymous comments. Thanks! ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: #1 Crush - Garbage] [random quote: \"I have yet to find a sure thing that I don't doubt / I can't think of a thing I can safely think about\" - Too Much] ~*~ 07.13.03 - 3:22 p.m. depth perception You ever notice how some writers can keep you enthralled and you think, "oh my god, yes, that's it exactly" ... and then you step away from the story and you think, "What the *fuck* was that?" and then twenty minutes later you're like, "er, did I read something a little while ago?" and it's all slipped away because it was so much surface dazzle and so little substance or depth? I mean, when you sit down and actually try to *think* about the story, it just keeps slipping away, like water through your fingers? How much of that is the acceptable ambiguity of more mature writing, and how much of it is a result of there not *being* anything there to contemplate beneath the shiny surface? More and more lately, with some very well-reputed fan writers, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's the latter - there's a lot of sparkle and shine on the first go round - the words zing and you read breathless with anticipation - but then the story doesn't hold up under a second and third, slower, less enthralled reading. It's like a song that drags you out onto the dance floor in a club - your body moving of its own accord, your heart pumping, hips swerving, eyes closed in ecstacy. The song with the perfect beat that, when you listen to it the next day in the car, makes absolutely no sense, with nonsensical or offensive lyrics, and the only time it works is when you're on the dance floor, lights strobing, three beers and a few shots into the night. And I wonder sometimes if it's me, if I just can't grasp that there is some depth, or if there really isn't, and these stories that seem so fabulous on their faces are completely hollow and lacking in heart. And then I think that maybe there's heart and there's heart, and what I'm looking for in the way of emotional satisfaction is not, perhaps, what the author or other readers are looking for, and so what appears heartless to me is simply so foreign to my understanding that I can't feel it. This is giving me a headache... ~victoria link [current mood: headachy] [current music: Mets-Phillies in the background] [random quote: \"Nothing says 'thank you' like dollars in the waistband.\" Xander Harris, BtVS] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme. The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney. 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