a fool's musings

Boreas by Waterhouse
Fool, said my muse to me,
look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content

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the five Ws, or, all about me

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current mood: current mood

"pathological and unbalanced"

Items of Interest

    Music
  • Walk On - U2
  • Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
  • If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar
  • Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
  • Town Called Malice - The Jam
  • One - U2
  • The Space Between - DMB
    Books
  • Lord of the Rings
  • Catch-22
  • The Neely Trilogy
  • Absalom! Absalom!
  • Possession: A Romance
  • Foucault's Pendulum
  • Dreamhouse
  • LA Confidential
  • I Capture the Castle
  • Sandman
  • Waking the Moon

    Shows
  • Angel

    •
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns)

    •
  • Alias

    •
  • West Wing

    •
  • The Simpsons

    •

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all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

10.01.03 - 2:46 p.m.

::bangs head on desk::

Well.

LJ is fucked. The work intranet site I need to use is fucked.

I am fucked.

And not in the fun way!

Waaah!

Technology hates me.

I am going to break something - or somebody - soon.

[current mood: grrr...]
[current music: I know it's only rock'n'roll but I like it - Rolling Stones]
[random quote: “Let me give you some advice, Tim. Never try to hustle a Sicilian.” Al Giardello, HLotS]

~*~

09.30.03 - 2:52 p.m.

one trick pony

Ended up doing a big rant on pairing again over in the LJ. How many does that make now?

Heh.

So I started this fic last night in between commercials on the West Wing rerun, and it started out as a funny idea, then became angsty and now I realize I've written it already. Twice. With Logan/Rogue. In Girl of His Dreams *and* Never Meant.

So. Not gonna do it that way. There is another possibility that occurs to me, that will allow for hot, angry sex and yet happy resolution. I think. And possibly a Big Huge Flashback.

Editing the Bill/Remus and also adding more, bit by bit to the Mollyfic, which at least makes Bethy and Pru laugh. And me. But I always think I'm funny, so I'm not a good judge. I don't know if I've got Molly right - she's getting more and more Peabodyesque as the fic goes on. Of course, I keep conflating Bill with Ramses and Indiana Jones, so I guess that's understandable. Also, I could see Remus being an Indy type, where all the girls would follow him around, even though he's not technically good-looking.

I just want Remus to get laid well and often. Preferably by Sirius, but Bill and Hermione are worthy substitutes. Tonks, not so much. Because of the family thing. I mean, Tonks/Remus has to carry overtones of Sirius/Remus for it to work for me. There's always gonna be that third person in bed with them, you know? Much like it's possible that James was always hovering between Sirius and Remus, though I personally don't believe that to be true.

Speaking of Remus/Tonks - Me In Honey is up on the site, as is Safe.

And did you see I separated the HP drabbles out from the longer stuff? Since there are so many of them, it seemed like a good idea.

Gah, it's not even 3pm yet. I want to go home and sleeeeep....

Gilmore Girls tonight. And then WW tomorrow. Squee! I am excited about WW because I want the Zoey arc resolved, and I want some J/D interaction, and I hope that the new writers can do well in a non-emergency/out of the ordinary type episode.

Mostly though, I want to sleep.

~victoria



link

[current mood: exhausted]
[current music: Rocking in the Free World - Neil Young]
[random quote: that's one more kid who'll never get to go to school never get to fall in love never get to be cool]

~*~

09.29.03 - 3:15 p.m.

I am just hitting on all cylinders with the irony today

So I snaked my seat out from under my train nemesis this morning. Little rat girl wrinkled up her little rat nose when I made it to the seat first.

Oh god, I'm taking this way too seriously.

I wouldn't care except every time I get to the seat first she sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes. It makes me feel like saying, "Honey, I've been sitting in this seat almost every Monday morning for the past 18 months. You have it every other day of the week. Get over yourself."

And of course, it makes me not bother to take the seat on the other side of the aisle, which is just as good. *snerk*

Hey, I never claimed to be mature. And something about this girl irks me. I think it's the way she doesn't show up on the platform until the train's already pulling in, and then just expects me to move out of her way so she can have the seat I want. Or it could just be the teethsucking and eyerolling. Two things I indulge in, yes, but not over a seat on the morning train.

Well, not unless my train nemesis is involved.

*snicker*

So on the train this morning, I finished off the Bill/Remus, did a little editing on the razorfic, which will see the light of day at some point soon, I hope, and also wrote a wee bit more Mollyfic.

But the thing is, after Mollyfic and Bill/Remus, and this utterly amazing drawing of Bill Weasley, I really *am* beginning to think Remus and Bill would be very good together, if Sirius is really dead.

I mean, they're both intelligent, curious, adventurous and sexy as hell. Okay, so Bill is currently involved with Fleur in canon, but it's easy enough to get rid of her, without even killing her off or bitchifying her. She's 18. 18=flighty in most girls. The fact that she's gorgeous, French and has a flower name could contribute to my hating her, but I don't. I just like Bill for myself. Or Remus. Which in some cases, I can't seem to distinguish. I'm not sure if that's my obsession with Remus or my apparently eerie ability to channel Sirius talking.

*eg*

Hey, I wrote a drabble that isn't even about Sirius and Remus: Safe, though um, they do get namechecked. It is about them, albeit obliquely. *snerk*

At least I'm honest in my obsessions.

And the Remus/Tonks is edited and posted: Me In Honey, for those of you who didn't read it the first time around.

I'm thinking about my Two Lines Challenge fic.

every time that i plant a seed
he said, kill it before it grows
~Bob Marley, I Shot the Sheriff are my two lines.

I'm thinking Xavier/Magneto or Snape/Lupin. Possibly not meriting the "/", but who knows? I do have a page or two of Snupin lying around somewhere, written in second person, Snape POV, if you can believe it.

Yes, all my favorite things in one fic.

Man, I am just hitting on all cylinders with the irony today.

~victoria



link

[current mood: ironic]
[current music: Rock'n'Roll Heart - Eric Clapton]
[random quote: I get off on '57 Chevies, I get off on screamin' guitars, like the way it gets me every time it hits me, I got a rock&]

~*~

09.28.03 - 4:21 p.m.

boring your readers is a cardinal sin

I keep trying to do things and my dad keeps interrupting me.

I miss my laptop when I come here.

Sigh.

I have a bunch of email and LJ comments to answer (did you see my beautiful new icons, or read my Remus/Tonks?) but Daddy keeps interrupting me to look over specs for televisions.

Their TV died on Friday, you see, and he needs to buy a new one. And my dad is Research Guy. And also Always Buy Top-of-the-Line Guy. So he's researching HD-TVs and widescreen v. regular screen ratios and blah blah blah can't afford a plasma flatscreen cakes.

The worst part about this? He probably won't be able to get a new computer. Not for a while yet.

Which sucks, if you ask me.

I suppose he could just buy a really good Sony for $300 and wait for the fancy TVs to come down in price, and therefore still be able to afford a new computer sometime soon, but... I don't think the computer is as important to him as it would be to me. I mean, my laptop is almost three years old, and I'm still completely happy with it. Yes, I'd like a cable modem, and after next month, when my rent increases, I'll have to see how money is to see if I can afford another $60 every month for Roadrunner (and gah, I'll hate giving up my att.net address, but for a cable connection, I so would). But I don't need a new PC.

And while this computer has done yeoman's work for the past 7 years, it's really slow about some things. And I remember when it was a speed demon.

Anyhow, my PC time today has been disjointed and I keep getting distracted when I should be answering email and stuff.

I'd also like to finish off the Remus/Bill (and the Mollyfic, but meh, the Funny has not returned) because I think it works. I dunno.

You know, with the vices drabbles, I feel like I covered everything I was going to cover in the Crazy!Remus fic. I think one of the reasons I'm happiest writing - and reading - short fic is that I don't need the whole series of things, I just need the one representative moment. That one moment/scene where the feelings stand out in stark clarity. And if you have to gloss over days and months and years to get there, with a paragraph or two of telling, I'm okay with that.

I realize that's a shortcut not available when writing original fiction, and it can make for lazy fanfiction, but sometimes I don't need twelve years of how Logan and Rogue circled each other and he didn't love her and she moved on. In fact, most of the time I could do without that, as it's generally boring. And honestly, boring your readers is a cardinal sin, much, much worse than pissing them off. If you've pissed them off, hey, at least you've evoked emotion, you know? But for a reader to sit and think, "Why do I care about these people again?" is a grievous error no writer wants to make.

Huh.

Didn't expect to go all profound there. *snerk*.

~victoria



link

[current mood: thoughtful]
[current music: Jets-Cowboys on TV (the 13\")]
[random quote: In studious awe the poets brood before my monumental pose]

~*~

09.26.03 - 2:21 p.m.

I can't promise to try, but I'll try to try.

Am having a salad for lunch.

I swear, this guy has no concept of subtlety or using dressing as a way to enhance flavor rather than just drown everything in it. So heavy handed with the vinegar it's not even funny. Between the vinegar and the onions, the salad is quite strong.

Good thing I'm not going anywhere interesting tonight. *snerk*

I'm gathering up the next set of recs, and man, there's a lot of good fic I haven't had a chance to read yet. Plus, new recs communities:

Crack Van, with overviews and recs for people new to fandoms, i.e., people new ot Homicide can go read this fabulous overview of the show, the characters, the major arcs and the various pairings. (I somehow managed to volunteer to do the XMM write up. What was I thinking?) And Mt. Parnassus is a multi-fandom, multi-genre recs/reviews site.

And Polyamorous Recs, the grandmommy of recs sites, was updated yesterday. (I got recced! Twice! Whee! Ahem.)

And as always, check out Bright Shiny Objects if you're in need of a good read. In many, many fandoms.

There's still some things I want to read before I post the Unfit recs - I haven't read any PotC fic, and that's just a shame, because Captain Jack Sparrow is ... well, in the hands of a good writer, how could I NOT want to spend more time with the bastard? And there's some Alias stuff I'd like to read before Sunday's premiere.

As irritating as keeping recs pages up and running can be (I still am planning on a nice redesign of all of Unfit, but the links/recs all have to be checked and ... yeah), it's worth it, because I really enjoy telling people about stories I enjoyed. And I love reading about why other people liked stories. And it's a joy to *find* so many. I mean, I admit, I'm pretty easy. Bring the funny or the romantic with my favorite pairings, make sure it's decently written and legible, and don't descend into horrid cliches or bad romance novel language, keep the characters in character, don't make the sex laughable, and I'm pretty much there.

And damn, do I talk about recs a lot.

***

There were some titles I was thinking of, titles that I'd like to write fic for, but now I can't remember what any of htem are, except for "The House of Jealous Lovers." I even know what the story is going to be. Sirius/Remus, of course, post-Hogwarts, pre-Azkaban.

But I am going to try something I never try - I'm going to try to force myself to at least start the razor rewrite before starting any new fic. I want to finish Mollyfic and Bill/Remus, and get more done on the Forever fic. I also need to revisit Inheritances. And the Eomer fic.

Gah. It hurts us, precious, to think about the WsIP.

~victoria



link

[current mood: busy]
[current music: Addicted to Love - Robert Palmer (RIP)]
[random quote: The lights are on but you're not home your mind is not your own]

~*~

09.25.03 - 1:45 p.m.

canon and canon

I just read a fic that could have been really, really good. But it wasn't.

Grrr...

It wasn't horrible. In fact, aside from the POV jumping, which was annoying but tolerable, the main thing that bugged me was the complete disregard of canon.

I don't think it was exactly... intentional. It seemed more careless than anything.

The fic is set in MWPP's seventh year, and yet the author is positing that the boys are staying locked in the Shrieking Shack every full moon, and Remus yearns to roam free.

And the thing is, Remus very clearly *says* in PoA that they left the Shack, a lot. Probably only a few months after the others successfully completed the Animagi transformation.

So that just ruins the whole story for me.

I don't *get* that. That's something so easily checked and fixed. She could have written the exact same story and changed that one thing and I'd have recced it (with the above caveats about POV and some clunky turns of phrase that a good beta should have straightened out) because the kiss (it's a first kiss fic) is sweet and the characterization is spot on, but meh. Such disregard for such an *easy* bit of canon irks me.

~*~

More thoughts on yesterday's entry, in response to something Yasi said in email.

Bloom is treating Rowling's popularity as 1. an affront to "intelligent" people, and 2. the end of civilization as we know it, and it's neither.

He looks like a moron every time he opens his mouth on the subject. If he could keep his crit centered on the text and why the writing *isn't* great, that'd be wonderful. Instead, he insults everyone who's ever enjoyed King or Rowling.

[People don't go from Rowling to Shakespeare.] Not in one step, no. But I bet some go from Rowling to Tolkien, from Tolkien to Pratchett to Gaiman to Rushdie to Gabriel Garcia Marquez to Cervantes to Faulkner to Shakespeare.

Not to mention Shakespeare is taught in every high school classroom in America, so at some point, they're gonna have to read - or pretend to read - it.

Some people are readers and some are not, and at some point, it becomes a matter of taste, but *still*.

The best teachers I had were enthusiastic about the subject matter, and that transfers itself to the students. Yes, I had some craptacular teachers as well, and *that* sort of rote learning or parroting whatever was the hot line of criticism at the time, without any in-depth exploration of it, makes for a very poor learning experience, even for a motivated student such as I was. I cannot even IMAGINE how boring and unattractive such teachers made literature to students who weren't particularly interested, but could have been swayed.

I have no ability to discuss workable pedagogical models, but that's not my point.

The fact is that it IS the job of a teacher to teach and if a teacher cannot make his/her students see why Macbeth or Huck Finn or Slaughterhouse Five is still a viable, relevant text, then s/he shouldn't be teaching it (or anything else lit-related, probably).

At the college level, you can afford to differentiate between those who are interested and those who are not - hey, they're big kids. But I think more care needs to be taken with middle and high school students.

[on canon, what 'should' be read, etc.]

Sure, there's a matter of taste, when it comes to preferred reading matter - hell, there are any number of authors I'll never read again, but I think to dismiss something simply because it's in the canon (which is finally beginning to change and become more inclusive), is just silly. There's a reason beyond dead white European men thought these works were worth reading that people still read and get something out of them.

I don't mean 'should' in a dictatorial, "You will read this and you WILL enjoy it" but "this is beautiful, this is meaningful, this will help you understand the other stuff you're more interested in reading, trace its influences down through other 'classic' lit and into popular fiction."

It's not a question of how, in the everyday details, you're teaching it, but that you're teaching it in a way that makes it interesting to the students, which is what my point is.

It seems to me that too many people, people like Bloom, get so caught up in theory and publishing their theories that they forget the whole point is to read something beautiful, something moving, something that keeps you on the edge of your seat.

I can't respect a teacher who can't make Beowulf (in translation, please) or Chaucer fun (for example). How is the story of a great big monster fight, or some naughty tales told on a road trip not fun? And I don't think denigrating the fun that lesser but popular works like Rowling's and King's provide, is the way to endear better writing to people. If it's enjoyable, people will read it. If someone has sucked the fun out of it when you were a freshman in high school, you probably won't ever want to read anything like it again.

We're not talking about the minority of people like me, who enjoy some of the theory and a lot of the analysis and crit. I'm talking about Joe Average Reader who's in school to get a BA so he can get a job, and will probably spend most of his book money on Grisham or King, because throughout his education, he's been taught that 'the classics' need some sort of higher mind to be understood or tools that he's never had and has no interesting in cultivating.

If he's reading Grisham, why not Parker? If Parker, why not Ellroy? If Ellroy, why not Chandler? Ellroy and Chandler aren't in the canon (yet. And I'm willing to concede that the canon is an unwieldy and constricting idea, but again, that's not the point), but I'll go toe to toe with anyone who says they haven't produced some of the best American writing of the 20th century.

And I really have no wrap up for this, so I'll just say that All the Sinners, Saints is up on the site and I did more rambling (more overtly fannish in nature) over in the LJ.

~victoria



link

[current mood: thoughtful]
[current music: ABC, easy as 123, simple as do-re-mi, ABC darling you and me...]
[random quote: \"Old age and the passage of time teach all things.\" Sophocles]

~*~

09.24.03 - 11:54 a.m.

Mmm... soapboxy

All the Sinners, Saints is complete and up in the LJ. Remus. Sirius. Sins. Virtues. Stones' quotes. All in clever, bite-sized, 100-word vignettes.

~*~

::vic gets out soapbox::

If you scroll down a bit on today’s entry in Neil Gaiman’s blog, you’ll see a long letter in response to Harold Bloom’s idiotic Op Ed in the LA Times (not that he doesn’t make valid points about King’s and Rowling’s writing. It’s his whole *attitude* that irks me – he’s reductionist and elitist in the worst way. Reading is not a zero sum game. Reading King and Rowling and reading Rushdie and Atwood are not mutually exclusive, and I dislike the way he portrays them as being so. That's fallacious, specious logic and oughtn't be countenanced).

Anyhow, this guy in this letter says a lot of what I was thinking as I read Bloom's piece.

I actually like Bloom most of the time - he has fascinating ideas and his crit (what I've read, mostly Faulkner related) is interesting and on point. But you can't make the leap that people aren't going to read 'worthy' works from the fact that people read Stephen King or JK Rowling.

Also, I think you can make a case for the idea that in the adult reading population, adults who read kidlit are probably far more likely to read widely and deeply, than adults who don't (or adults who only read kidlit to vet what their kids are reading).

As for the kids, maybe if schools actually, you know, *taught* reading and literature in a way that made it interesting to kids (Harry Potter is not the only thing stopping kids from reading 'the great books' - nintendo, the internet, television, and incredibly packed schedules full of other activities do that), but kids who love to read will carve out time for it, or give up one of the other activities (television or nintendo most likely).

Like opera, a lot of what is considered 'great' literature is mostly inaccessible to people (in the sense of not being easily understood, not in the sense of not being easily available, as was the case in prior centuries), and (this is the part that shits me) a large part of the literary 'academy' prefers it that way.

They'd prefer to discuss Derrida and deconstructionism and the authorless text than actually EXPLAIN why Shakespeare's or Dante's or whoever's work is still relevant today, and why we *should* read Faulkner or Melville or Cheever. And I say that as someone who once planned to *be* one of those academics.

In the end, most people want a good story, well-told. That's why we read. Everything else is gravy. And a good writer will bring the 'everything else' while telling the story - the deep themes, the sharp prose, etc.

But apparently that eludes Mr. Bloom and other people who deride popular culture and lump it all together as worthless, without understanding its true worth or why people grow attached to it. They ignore the gradations of quality even in pop culture, the way a Sopranos or Homicide towers over a Providence or Diagnosis Murder, etc. That's like saying all pop music sucks because it's not Tchaikovsky. I mean, you cannot lump Rodgers and Hammerstein or Cole Porter in with Bob Dylan or Joni Mitchell, and you cannot lump Joni MIcthell and Bob Dylan in with Public Enemy or Eminem, and you certainly can't lump any of the aforementioned talented artists in with a lot of the utter dreck that's played on the radio these days, beginning with prefab, disposable pop and faux-clever twelfth generation Beatles imitators.

Ahem. Back to literature.

Lemme tell ya, it's *damn* hard to be attached to some of these writers who are all pomo posturing about middle-aged white people getting divorced. I'd much rather read about a boy wizard or a bunch of hobbits (and that's with my reservations about Tolkien's actual prose stylings) or Terry McMillan's circle of black women. Because I can empathize with them, where I just want to tell the other people to shut the fuck up and get over themselves.

The other issue Bloom completely ignores is the business end of publishing, which yes, wants the next King, the next Grisham, the next Rowling, and is doing damn little to nurture the next generation of Hemingways and Fitzgeralds and Jameses, let alone the midlist authors who make up so much "mainstream literary" fiction.

Which really, if you look at sales and people's reading preferences, isn't that mainstream, is it?

But genre and classification is a whole separate issue.

I'm just saying. I could be wrong.

::vic gets down off soapbox::

~*~

I have to do web-based training this afternoon for 90 minutes, via conference call.

How much am I not looking forward to this?

Gagak.

~victoria



link

[current mood: strident]
[current music: Ever Fallen in Love - Buzzcocks]
[random quote: ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn'ta fallen in love with]

~*~

09.23.03 - 1:23 p.m.

Film Theory

Written for 15minuteficlets. In fifteen minutes, no less. *snerk*

I've never written Andrew before. I don't know that I got his voice right.

Comments/feedback are most welcome.

***

Film Theory

Every story has a conclusion.

That’s what Andrew tells himself. Anya came to hers. It wasn’t his fault.

He did what he could; he was prepared to die. Really he was. It was just... she was so much stronger and more powerful, even though she was just as scared.

Neither of them had slayer strength -- Buffy shouldn’t have left them alone. It was Buffy’s fault.

But he can’t make himself believe it.

He tells Xander, who makes some dumb joke to hide the hurt, and he promises himself that he will look after Xander for the rest of their lives. Which, considering they’re riding around the country in a school bus full of slayers, probably won’t be that long.

It’s not like he wants the danger. Now that he’s lived through an apocalypse he didn’t help bring about, he’s really not into the whole raising the powers of darkness thing. He learned his lesson from killing Jonathan.

He’s trying to atone; he thinks maybe it’s not so much a destination as a journey.

He likes that -- it sounds deep, almost Zen. He imagines Steven Soderbergh might say something like that, or the Wachowski brothers. Yeah, it’s got Matrix written all over it.

The bus lurches, throwing him up against Xander’s sleeping form.

“What--"

“Go back to sleep,” Andrew tells him. “Giles is letting Buffy drive.”

“Oh, God,” Xander says. “We’re all gonna die.”

“But, there’s no big evil. I’m sure of it. I think they’d have told us if there were.”

“No, from Buffy’s driving,” Xander clarifies.

“Oh.” Then, “I’ll protect you,” he mumbles.

“What?”

“Nothing. Go back to sleep, Xander. It’ll be fine. Giles won’t let anything happen to us.”

Xander stares at him, and Andrew is shaken by the power in that one-eyed glare. No wonder pirates wore eye patches. Much with the intimidation.

“If she puts us in a ditch--"

“I heard that!” Buffy calls out and the bus swerves violently, waking the few girls who haven’t already been woken by her erratic driving.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Andrew says, but now Xander is awake and has gotten the banter going; he’s no longer listening to Andrew.

“I could drive better with one eye,” Xander says, pushing past Andrew and lurching to the front of the bus.

“Maybe,” Buffy replies, “but I’ll kick your ass if you try to take the steering wheel out of my hands.”

Andrew tunes them out, scripts more Tarantino-esque repartee for them.

Every story has a conclusion, but his hasn’t reached one yet.

The End

***

The word was (highlight to see it, as it's supposed to be behind an lj-cut, but I don't have that ability here) conclusion.

This reminds me that I still have not written the Dawnfic I had ideas for.

Huh.

I may have to track down a "Chosen" transcript and get right on that.

~victoria



link

[current mood: accomplished]
[current music: planet earth is blue and there's nothing I can do...]
[random quote: \"Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix.\" The Tick]

~*~

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The painting is "Boreas" by John William Waterhouse. Again, not a muse, but I like her. She suits the color scheme.

The quote is from Sir Philip Sidney.

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