a fool's musings

Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write...

Warning: Adult Content achromatic unfinished fic graveyard recs journal new stuff recent stuff my back pages January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 the five Ws, or, all about me profile e-mail victoria my livejournal the original P&R comments current mood: "pathological and unbalanced" Items of Interest People LiveJournal folks Baraita bishclone claritylit Jintian Kat Allison Kit Mason metablog mix-tapes Neil Gaiman Nestra Sarah T. Seema Shrift Sundry Mourning zendom Music Walk On - U2 Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet Town Called Malice - The Jam One - U2 The Space Between - DMB Books Lord of the Rings Catch-22 The Neely Trilogy Absalom! Absalom! Possession: A Romance Foucault's Pendulum Dreamhouse LA Confidential I Capture the Castle Sandman Waking the Moon Shows Angel Buffy the Vampire Slayer (in reruns) Alias West Wing The Simpsons webrings < ? fanfiction ! > < ? writers ! > diaryreviews.diaryland.com NYC Bloggers Comments by Haloscan.com all links, if I haven't screwed up somehow, should open in a new browser window

10.10.03 - 4:32 p.m. Friday Five; Boxing Clever The Friday Five 1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones? Baseball, football, hockey, some basketball, though it’s my least favorite of the big four, and I prefer college to pro. Tennis during Grand Slams. I’ll watch some things in the Olympics – luge, bobsled, water polo, volleyball, gymnastics, track and field. Ooh, and swimming and diving. 2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes? New York Rangers, Mets, Giants, Knicks. I also like the Nets and Devils. 3. Are there any sports you hate? Well, I don’t think golf counts as a sport. Soccer is utterly boring to watch unless you know someone who’s playing. I’m so turned off figure skating, and again, I think it’s not so much a sport as an athletic and artistic endeavor. How can something be a sport if there’s no objective measure (score/time/distance/weight lifted/number of pins) of who wins? I also don’t care much for boxing. 4. Have you ever been to a sports event? Most every kind. I’d like to go to a minor league baseball game. 5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play? Intramural volleyball, my senior year in high school. We wanted to name the team Mass Guido Slaughter, but they wouldn’t let us, so we were Coup d’Etat, which no one could pronounce. That was the only sport I played of my own volition – the others were all in gym. But I was good at field hockey. I'll probably be putting up the Fannish Friday Five in the LJ sometime soon. Meanwhile, there's contrelamontre fic upBoxing Clever - Josh and Donna, then Giles and Anya - same dialogue, two scenes challenge. Dialogue by Halrloprillalar, everything else by me. You can read Hal's stories around my dialogue here: A Game of Patience. *** I have been busier today at work than I have been in MONTHS. Sigh. Thank god it's Friday, and a three day weekend. Woohoo! ~victoria link [current mood: busy] [current music: Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd (Hey, it's Snape's theme song!)] [random quote: Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone.] ~*~ 10.09.03 - 1:47 p.m. fuck fandango I am very fucking annoyed with fandango and moviefone.com and other assorted online ticket sellers, because I did not get Trilogy Tuesday tickets. Fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck. [current mood: aggravated] [current music: Rocking in the Free World - Neil Young] [random quote: I hate the living. Dr. Weaver, Men in Black] ~*~ 10.08.03 - 1:29 p.m. update/redesign Planned new look for Unfit for Society, for those who are interested. It's soothing, clean and uncluttered. Now I just have to get around to actually, you know, *doing it*. Speaking of the website, I was updatey girl last night. Stealing Joy, His Smile Rivals the Sky (Xander fic! Whee!), and the two drabbles: The Internet Is for Porn and Moving Violation are up now. LJ is suddenly being a bitch again, and I learned today that the reason I was unable to access a thing at work was because my account had been deactivated for some reason beknownst only to some people someplace not here. Who ever though bureaucracy was a good thing? I'm feeling quite exhausted, considering I actually got a good night's sleep last night. Stupid period. ~victoria link [current mood: exhausted] [current music: Bargain - the Who] [random quote: All that's sacred Comes from youth Dedications naive and true With no power and nothing to prove I still remember Why don&#] ~*~ 10.07.03 - 2:05 p.m. Sirius waits... Currently untitled (okay, technically it has a working title, but that will change, I think, though maybe not. Or only minutely, if I find a good quote to cannibalize.), 15 minute ficlet written this afternoon. Sirius is not a happy camper. Post-Hogwarts, pre-Azkaban, gen. Late Sirius sat at the table, checked his watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. Remus was now ten minutes late. As Remus was the only one of his friends who ever arrived anywhere on time, this was cause for concern. Especially as it wasn’t the first time it had happened recently. The door to the pub opened and a figure silhouetted by the setting sun entered. Squinting, Sirius realized the newcomer was too short to be Remus. Peter. Great. He went to the bar and got himself a pint before joining Sirius at the table. “Hey, Sirius,” Peter said, shucking his coat and draping across the back of a chair. He looked around, noted the absence of Remus and James. “And I thought I was late.” “You are,” Sirius said shortly. “Remus isn’t here yet,” Peter protested. “I can’t be late if Punctual Prefect Lupin hasn’t arrived. Not to mention Always On Time Head Boy Potter.” “Lily’s parents dropped in to see young Harry,” Sirius said. James had fire called him earlier to say he’d be late; Lily’s parents had descended on the Potters unexpectedly, and James might not make it at all. Sirius loved Harry, had been amazed at how much he could love such a wee thing, especially one who didn’t do anything but eat, shit and sleep, but Sirius hated *this*. He hated that three years out of Hogwarts, they couldn’t even see each other once a month without something interfering. They’d lived together for seven years, been each other’s confidantes, best mates, co-conspirators. Now they were just four blokes who sometimes met up for a pint when life didn’t get in the way. And now he was stuck making small talk with Pettigrew, the one he had the least desire to chat with. Peter had always been James’s project, as Remus had been his. But where Remus had grown and flourished and come into his own -- where Sirius had forced him by betraying him (though even he couldn’t put a clever spin on what he’d done, would never point out it’d turned out for the best, because actually, it hadn’t, however much he might like to pretend it had) -- Peter had never left James’s shadow, where it was safe. “Ah. How do they like the new house?” Peter asked. “What’s not to like about it?” Sirius responded sharply. “It’s tolerable, and Remus did the wards himself, so it’s safe.” Peter blinked, held up his hands in an attempt to ameliorate Sirius’s anger. “Okay.” Peter chattered a bit about his job at the Ministry for a few minutes and Sirius had to force himself not to snap at him to shut up. Exercising all the self-control he could muster (and even he admitted it wasn’t much), he refrained from looking at his watch throughout Peter’s recital, though he wasn’t listening. He was too busy trying to *will* Remus to appear. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of paperwork Crouch’s decision has created,” Peter said. “Using the Unforgivables means forms in triplicate, and calls at all hours from barristers working for the Death Eaters.” Peter gulped down some beer -- he must have been fair parched, Sirius thought, after talking for ten minutes straight -- and said, “Have you noticed anything odd about Remus lately? He hasn’t given me his new address. And he’s never late like this.” Sirius looked at his watch again. “No. I haven’t,” Sirius snapped. “Okay, okay,” Peter said again. “I was just wondering. “Maybe it’s me.” He chuckled nervously. “Been putting in a lot of hours, and some of the things I’ve read... makes you wake up in a cold sweat, you know?” Sirius took a deep breath. Peter couldn’t help how annoying he was. “Remus had a job interview or some such,” he said reluctantly. “Another one?” “Last place canned him after they found out,” Sirius said. It had been this way since they’d left school. After a month or two, Remus was always back on the street, looking for work. Sirius had somehow expected the world to change, to make way for his friends, to conform to his expectations. He’d never thought that Remus would be reduced to an endless stream of ever-more-humiliating jobs, none of which were suitable for someone as bright and talented and good as he. “You know, last week I saw him talking to your brother.” Sirius choked on his beer. “What?” Peter nodded, head bobbing, a nervous tic from childhood he’d never shed. “Outside Flourish and Blotts. They seemed ... involved in the conversation.” “Are you sure --" Sirius started, only to be interrupted by a green flare in the fireplace, which disgorged a dusty and disgruntled looking Remus Lupin. “Sorry I’m late,” Remus said, his face smoothing into a small, rueful smile. “Interview ran longer than expected.” Sirius nodded, and after sharing a meaningful look with Peter (possibly the first time *that* had ever happened), leaned back in his chair and listened as Remus quizzed Peter over the latest Ministry gossip. There was no way Remus and Regulus could possibly have anything to say to each other, he thought. Peter was just being Peter, getting everything wrong. Sirius glanced at his watch again. It didn’t look like James was going to show at all. He sighed, but shook his head slightly when Remus shot a questioning glance his way. He’d just have to make sure he saw more of his friends from now on. Because if this whole growing up business meant that Remus made small talk with known Death Eaters and James was never around, Sirius wasn’t having it. It was getting late, but he could still salvage his friendships. He was sure of it. end *** You know, I like the premise, but I think it needs a rewrite, in a little more time. Oh, and the word was late. *** In other Sirius/Remus news, Stealing Joy is up in the LJ (complete) and Summer Letters has been updated. James finally remembers he has friends waiting for his response and Remus is in over his head. *snicker* Lunch now, I think. ~victoria link [current mood: busy] [current music: Fame - Lennon and Bowie] [random quote: \"Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this!\" Tony Soprano, The Sopranos] ~*~ 10.06.03 - 10:24 a.m. Peabody and Molly Things I learned from my stats: I am apparently the only person on the internet who talks about Amelia Peabody, Ramses and Nefret and fanfiction in close proximity, because this diary was the only site that came up on the subject. I find this odd and well, odd. I don't get David/Ramses slash, but I know it's out there. I've seen it. As well as David/Ramses/Nefret as an OT3 (poor Lia just gets killed off or forgotten about). And I know there was some squicky wrong bad Emerson/Sethos out there, too. If I were going to write a big old Mary Sue, I would do it with Ramses, and the two years[?] between Falcon and Thunder, because dude, I so hope he was out having meaningless sex and drinking a lot after Nefret treated him like shit. ::thinks:: I apparently will never forgive her for what she did in Falcon, though Ramses did (far too easily, imo). This is the same thing that gets me about Sirius (ah, you knew I couldn't go even *one* entry without mentioning my boys) - the thing that makes me want to beat him about the head with the poky stick () - how he suspected Remus of being the spy. Had he just had a *little* more trust, the whole debacle could have been avoided. Of course, the fact that he *did* suspect Remus makes the pairing that much more angsty (as if they needed it), *and* it allows a couple baby ideas to start romping in my brain, one of which may grow up into the Bellatrix/Remus torture story (with extra added taunting of Sirius once she gets thrown in Azkaban) *and*, extrapolating out from that idea, gives me all sorts of Remus Lupin, Sekrit Agent ideas for the twelve years in which we have nothing about him except he was "unable to get paid work as an adult." Or he was paid off the books, because he managed to survive, didn't he? And I don't think Werewolf Support Services did all that much to help him, you know? I do believe Dumbledore has a slush fund at his disposal, though, and I believe Remus may have been paid out of it for services rendered that no one's supposed to know about. I mean, he's aces with the defense against the Dark Arts, and he's off on all sorts of mysterious 'missions' in OotP... he had to get the skills somewhere, right? Anyhow, to tie it back to Peabody, I was channelling her while writing the Mollyfic (which is done, btw, and just needs some revision). Because Molly and Peabody? Kindred spirits. In other news, my train nemesis didn't even make an effort this morning, which is fine by me. I got the seat and my train ride was more comfortable for it. I did some editing, and had some In Vino Veritas thoughts, and also some Nightswimming thoughts. Yeah, I know, triptych means three stories, but if anyone deserves Nightswimming fic, it's Sirius and Remus. Sigh. I guess I didn't really talk about all the other weird referrals in the stats. Huh. ~victoria link [current mood: bemused] [current music: Behind Blue Eyes - The Who] [random quote: no one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes] ~*~ 10.03.03 - 1:53 p.m. if that's your boyfriend, he wasn't last night I wonder if I'd put that last entry in the LJ, if it would have generated comments (or at least outed any fellow SFP alums, aside from Fleeg). I am so horribly, dismally tired, and this time it was my own damn fault. Well, actually, it was Remus's fault, as he started telling me a story when all I wanted to do was sleep. Bastard! I mentioned over in the LJ that I currently have 3 MWPP-at-Hogwarts stories in the works, and they're different enough that they can't really be combined, but still, I think I may be treading and retreading ground already well-covered by other people. Though as I said there, I really want to examine the Trick and its aftermath. I'm never gonna understand why Sirius did it, but I think the shockwaves of it resonate all the way through to the narrative present. It's got to be a huge thing in shaping Snape, despite his alleged worst memory is being humiliated rather than endangered. And it's got to play a role in James's ascension to Head Boy, his eventual success with Lily, and the fact that Remus and Dumbledore *believed* Sirius was guilty. I also wonder about how close in Snape was with the Death Eaters, that he didn't know Pettigrew was the spy, instead of Sirius. And, because I don't think Pru reads this diary, I can admit to having both a SuperSekrit Bellatrix/Sirius kink, and a less sekrit and more likely to be written Remus/Bellatrix idea. Which includes blackmail, torture, and Sirius being taunted mercilessly by his cousin whilst in Azkaban about how she had his little werewolf boyfriend. Yeah, I know. Leave me alone. Bellatrix fascinates me. The whole Black family does, actually. She's just so committed to evil, and she revels in it. What is that about? How does someone get like that? I have this theory about her and Sirius, though it's somewhat dependent on their ages (and Andromeda must have had Tonks at a really young age if she's the middle sister and Narcissa is the youngest and they were at all close to Sirius in age) - that she and Sirius were the eldest cousins and they had a game of who could go further, but in opposite directions. The more biased and haughty Bella became, the more open-minded and willing to associate with Muggle-borns/race traitors etc. Sirius became, each trying to outdo each other in excessive behavior. Though Sirius kept, of course, his noblesse oblige and sense of entitlement that being raised the elder son of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black obviously gave him. I also want more info on Regulus, and his relationship with Sirius at school and with Snape etc. Sigh. So much delicious backstory left to fill in. I hope one day JKR does a MWPP-era book. Anyhow, speaking of MWPP... Sirius's latest letter to Remus, and the one where he goes all Eddie Haskell on Lily are up at the Summer Letters site. ~victoria link [current mood: exhausted] [current music: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles] [random quote: \"Nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying someone rich.\" Mr. Fairchild, Sabrina] ~*~ 10.02.03 - 10:16 a.m. the bus, the bus, the bus is on fire I woke up this morning and the first thing I hear on the radio is "The bus is on fire." These words have resonance to anyone who was in high school with me - and I expand that to include everyone, not just the people in my year - in 1985/86. Prep had - has, probably - an intense rivalry with Cross, and there was a series of ... pranks may be a little weak, but yeah, pranks that the schools perpetrated on each other over the years (or, more likely, the schools' sports teams), and in my mind this culminated with them blowing up our bus. I shit you not. We had a yellow school bus that took various sports teams to their away games etc., and they blew it up. Or set it on fire. Or something. Regardless of the actual means of incineration, the bus was toast. I'm guessing most of you know the song "Fire Water Burn" in some incarnation? Well, the senior quote that year (every year, the seniors had a quote [ours was "Squeal like a pig."], and they 'willed' things to faculty members etc. and there may have been 'most likely to' kinds of voting going on, though I don't recall that last part at all) was, you guessed it, "The bus is on fire." It was the chant of the year. The bus, the bus, the bus is on fire We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn burn, motherfucker, burn This is what I have in my head now, because of this news story about a bus fire on 80 (I think). Ah, high school, how I don't miss you at all. ~victoria link [current mood: nostalgic, also, amused.] [current music: The Chain - Fleetwood Mac] [random quote: the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. we don't need no water let the motherfucker burn] ~*~ 10.02.03 - 12:39 a.m. upsy-datesy Unfit for Society Recs Update! Whee! 35 recs in 7 fandoms. Go! Read! Love! *** Spoilery SV, WW and Karen Sisco thoughts over in the LJ. *** Phantom Pain - the Remus/Bill - is up on the site. *** I am very sleepy. ~victoria link [current mood: sleepy] [current music: silence] [random quote: I have yet to find a sure thing that I don't doubt I can't think of a thing I can safely think about] ~*~ previous - next DiaryLand Disclaimer: Reading this diary is not required by law. If you do not like or agree with the contents herein, or find them to be offensive on more than one occasion, please go elsewhere and don't come back. Management is not responsible for any adverse reactions to content within. 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